Repressed Grief & the Loss of a First Love: Ashley Jordan on Healing After Childhood Trauma

In this deeply moving episode of The Empowered Grief Journey Podcast, host Chris Mamone sits down with award-winning journalist and author Ashley Jordan to talk about a kind of grief many people experience—but rarely name: the loss of a first love in childhood and the long-term impact of unprocessed grief. Ashley shares the story of Daniel—her childhood sweetheart—who was killed in a sudden accident just days before her 13th birthday. With no emotional tools or support system to help her process the trauma, she did what many people are taught to do: shut down, “suck it up,” and keep going. Years later, an unexpected trigger cracked the grief back open—and changed everything. Together, Chris and Ashley explore: What it’s like to lose someone deeply significant at a young age How repressed grief can return later in life (even decades later) The emotional cost of becoming an “unhappy achiever” to outrun pain Why grief is connected to love, presence, and emotional aliveness How healing can include witnessing, meaning-making, and allowing the pain to move Ashley also shares her book, The Unhappy Achiever: Rejecting the Good Girl Image and Reclaiming the Joy of Inner Fulfillment, and how her grief journey shaped the message behind it. If you’ve ever felt grief resurface years after a loss—or you’ve carried a quiet heartbreak you never fully processed—this episode will help you feel seen and remind you: you’re not broken. Your grief is asking to be honored.