Rerelease: Top 10 Reasons An Abuser Doesn't Want To Change episode artwork

EPISODE · May 12, 2026 · 31 MIN

Rerelease: Top 10 Reasons An Abuser Doesn't Want To Change

from Narcissist Apocalypse: Patterns of Abuse · host Abuse Survivor Network

In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse Q&A, Brandon discusses why abusive partners often do not want to change, using ideas from Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? The episode looks at the rewards an abuser gets from abusive behavior, including power, control, privilege, free labor, financial control, double standards, and the ability to make everyone else organize their lives around the abuser’s needs. Brandon also breaks down how these patterns become reinforced over time, and why abusive behavior is not just about anger, stress, trauma, or losing control. It often creates a life where the abuser gets their way, avoids responsibility, receives attention, and keeps the relationship built around their comfort. This episode is about understanding the benefits abusers receive from control, and why real change requires giving up the privileges abuse has created. Click if you want to be a guest on our survivor story podcast, please send us an email at [email protected] Click on the title to read about Coercive Control as Care: Signs & Patterns Sign up to our Domestic Violence Newsletter  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Episode metadata supplied by the publisher feed · Published May 12, 2026

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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse Q&A, Brandon discusses why abusive partners often do not want to change, using ideas from Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? The episode looks at the rewards an abuser gets from abusive behavior, including power, control, privilege, free labor, financial control, double standards, and the ability to make everyone else organize their lives around the abuser’s needs. Brandon also breaks down how these patterns become reinforced over time, and why abusive behavior is not just about anger, stress, trauma, or losing control. It often creates a life where the abuser gets their way, avoids responsibility, receives attention, and keeps the relationship built around their comfort. This episode is about understanding the benefits abusers receive from control, and why real change requires giving up the privileges abuse has created.

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Rerelease: Top 10 Reasons An Abuser Doesn't Want To Change

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This episode is 31 minutes long.

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This episode was published on May 12, 2026.

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