EPISODE · Jun 9, 2026 · 38 MIN
Rerelease | When Abusers Play the Victim to Make You Feel Guilty
from Narcissist Apocalypse: Patterns of Abuse · host Abuse Survivor Network
In this rerelease episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Brandon discusses how victim-playing abusers use guilt, empathy, and blame-shifting to make survivors feel responsible for the abuse they are experiencing. The episode looks at how an abuser may present themselves as wounded, abandoned, misunderstood, or mistreated in order to gain sympathy early in the relationship. But as the relationship continues, that same victim story can become a way to control the survivor, avoid accountability, win arguments, and make the survivor feel guilty for having boundaries. Brandon breaks down how this pattern can show up through jealousy, isolation, silent treatment, guilt trips, defensive abuse, smear campaigns, DARVO, and post-separation abuse. At the center of it all is a painful reversal: the person causing harm keeps finding ways to make themselves the victim of the person they are harming. *** CONTENT WARNING - This episode mentions suicide threats and self harm. *** Click if you want to be a guest on our survivor story podcast, please send us an email at [email protected] Click on the title to read about Coercive Control as Care: Signs & Patterns Sign up to our Domestic Violence Newsletter Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
What this episode covers
In this rerelease episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Brandon discusses how victim-playing abusers use guilt, empathy, and blame-shifting to make survivors feel responsible for the abuse they are experiencing. The episode looks at how an abuser may present themselves as wounded, abandoned, misunderstood, or mistreated in order to gain sympathy early in the relationship. But as the relationship continues, that same victim story can become a way to control the survivor, avoid accountability, win arguments, and make the survivor feel guilty for having boundaries. Brandon breaks down how this pattern can show up through jealousy, isolation, silent treatment, guilt trips, defensive abuse, smear campaigns, DARVO, and post-separation abuse. At the center of it all is a painful reversal: the person causing harm keeps finding ways to make themselves the victim of the person they are harming.
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Rerelease | When Abusers Play the Victim to Make You Feel Guilty
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