Resentment and Power & the Power of Resentment

In the Navigating Chaos conversation with Louise LeBrun herself about the “seduction of victimhood”, the group and I found ourselves pondering the power of cultural conditioning as mind control. I wanted to share some of this with you today, in hopes of beginning to have the fire conversation, differently.  As women, we are not taught to think that way.  We’re taught to play pretend. To turn a blind eye. We’re taught to live with double binds. To constantly second-guess ourselves. We’re taught to avoid risk taking. To never upset the status quo. To keep our attention on everyone but ourselves.  You see, as women, we are taught that being martyr is a badge of honour. If we put ourselves last, then we are being considerate, kind, generous. We are rewarded with “good girl” badges when we are passive, fragile, docile…when we blend into the wallpaper. The more we blend in the background, the bigger the load we carry, the more pain we can endure, the more noble we are told we are.  The problem is, this imposed-identity of noble martyr keeps us trapped in a mindset of powerlessness.  And if I’ve discovered anything over the last few years of my personal evolution is that women are anything BUT powerless.