Rest isn’t a reward, It’s a stewardship: Why Self Care is so Difficult

Do you feel like rest is something you have to "earn"? Many of us carry an internal script that says we can only take care of ourselves once everyone else is happy. In this episode, Debi and Sharilyn reframe self-care from a luxury or a "reward" into a stewardship—a vital responsibility to maintain the bodies and spirits we’ve been given. The Blocks: Why is it so hard? Even when we know self-care is important, several "blocks" often get in the way: -The "Helper High": When we serve others, our brains release a cocktail of chemicals like oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine. This can become addictive, leading us to prioritize being "needed" over being "well." -Cultural Praise: We live in a world that rewards "busy-ness" and self-sacrifice, often at the expense of our health. -Emotional Safety: Sometimes, staying busy is a way to avoid the "turmoil" of realizing how burned out we actually are. The Cycle of Self-Neglect Sharilyn and Debi break down the "habit loop" that keeps us depleted: The Trigger: Stress, fatigue, or overwhelm. The Habit: Pushing through, overworking, or numbing out. The Reward: A short-term sense of control or "relief." The Cost: Deeper depletion, resentment, and a total disconnection from yourself. Reframing the Truth Self-care is NOT: Just bubble baths, checking out of responsibility, or an indulgence you must merit. Self-care IS: Responding to your needs with intention and self-respect. It’s "critical maintenance" (like putting oil in a car) so you can show up for others with genuine empathy rather than resentment. "Self-care is maturity, not weakness. Strong people place a high priority on the restoration and preservation of self." — Dr. Debi Gilmore Don’t forget to look out for our new branding next week, GILMORE&GREEN!