“Righteous by Birth, Not Behavior”

I’m a horrible person and I hate myself. What can I do about this? Am I allowed to have opinions about Israel’s actions or is that offensive to God? How do the issues of vengeance and judgment actually work with God? Have you noticed that we are so behavior-focused within Christianity? I have forgiven my abusive family, but they say I need to stick around for more abuse. What should I do? Why did Lot offer his daughters to be used in immorality?