Rosemary - Overthinking

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by Rosemary Gattuso.Rosemary is a family mediator, counsellor, and author of It’s Not You. It’s Me. A Chronic Overthinker’s Guide to Self Reflection. The moment I saw the title of her book, I knew this conversation was going to head somewhere interesting.This episode sits inside conflict, accountability, overthinking, and the way relationships slowly break down when people become more focused on defending themselves than understanding each other.Rosemary comes from years of sitting between separating couples and families in conflict. Real people navigating betrayal, resentment, parenting, anger, and heartbreak while trying to untangle lives that have become emotionally fused together.What I found interesting in this conversation was how often people become trapped inside their own perspective. The need to prove they are right. The need to explain themselves. The need to make the other person the villain so they can avoid sitting in their own discomfort.We talk a lot about identity in this episode. How pain can quietly become part of who we think we are. How overthinking creates the illusion of control while actually keeping people stuck. And how exhausting life becomes when every interaction is filtered through defence, fear, or past wounds.There is also a big part of this conversation around ownership.Not self blame.Not shame.Ownership.The ability to stop asking:Who caused this?And start asking:What part of this belongs to me?Rosemary also speaks about something that landed heavily for me from her work. The difference between focusing on what’s wrong and focusing on what’s strong. That simple shift changes how people move through conflict, relationships, parenting, and even the way they see themselves.We also get into vulnerability and the way people confuse it with emotional dumping. Oversharing. Bleeding unresolved pain onto strangers and calling it connection. That part hit home for me personally because I know exactly what it looks like to unconsciously use other people as emotional containers while believing you are simply being open.There is a fascinating tension throughout this whole conversation between awareness and identity. Between genuinely helping people and unconsciously hiding behind the role of therapist, mediator, helper, or healer.This is not a conversation about becoming perfect or emotionally evolved.It is about noticing where we stay trapped in our own narrative long enough to keep repeating the same patterns with different people.The question Rosemary leaves for the next guest is this:Is my focus on what’s wrong or what’s strong?It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s MENo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.Rosemary Gattuso can be found at;https://www.rosemarygattuso.com/https://www.instagram.com/rosemarygattuso/WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON