It's You. Oh F*ck. It's ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist.

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by Rosemary Gattuso.Rosemary is a family mediator, counsellor, and author of It’s Not You. It’s Me. A Chronic Overthinker’s Guide to Self Reflection. The moment I saw the title of her book, I knew this conversation was going to head somewhere interesting.This episode sits inside conflict, accountability, overthinking, and the way relationships slowly break down when people become more focused on defending themselves than understanding each other.Rosemary comes from years of sitting between separating couples and families in conflict. Real people navigating betrayal, resentment, parenting, anger, and heartbreak while trying to untangle lives that have become emotionally fused together.What I found interesting in this conversation was how often people become trapped inside their own perspective. The need to prove they are right. The need to explain themselves. The need to make the other person the villain so they can avoid sitting in their own discomfort.We talk a lot about identity in this episode. How pain can quietly become part of who we think we are. How overthinking creates the illusion of control while actually keeping people stuck. And how exhausting life becomes when every interaction is filtered through defence, fear, or past wounds.There is also a big part of this conversation around ownership.Not self blame.Not shame.Ownership.The ability to stop asking:Who caused this?And start asking:What part of this belongs to me?Rosemary also speaks about something that landed heavily for me from her work. The difference between focusing on what’s wrong and focusing on what’s strong. That simple shift changes how people move through conflict, relationships, parenting, and even the way they see themselves.We also get into vulnerability and the way people confuse it with emotional dumping. Oversharing. Bleeding unresolved pain onto strangers and calling it connection. That part hit home for me personally because I know exactly what it looks like to unconsciously use other people as emotional containers while believing you are simply being open.There is a fascinating tension throughout this whole conversation between awareness and identity. Between genuinely helping people and unconsciously hiding behind the role of therapist, mediator, helper, or healer.This is not a conversation about becoming perfect or emotionally evolved.It is about noticing where we stay trapped in our own narrative long enough to keep repeating the same patterns with different people.The question Rosemary leaves for the next guest is this:Is my focus on what’s wrong or what’s strong?It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s MENo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.Rosemary Gattuso can be found at;https://www.rosemarygattuso.com/https://www.instagram.com/rosemarygattuso/WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by Terraine.Terraine is a coach, podcaster, and someone who speaks openly about heartbreak, avoidance, family wounds, and the unconscious reasons we chase relationships in the first place.What I liked about this conversation is that it never stayed surface level for very long. We started talking about relationships, but underneath it was really about safety. The need to belong. The need to feel chosen. The need to finally build the family or connection we never really had growing up.Terraine speaks openly about growing up without stability and how that shaped the way he approached love. Not consciously. Not manipulatively. Just the way most of us do when we have unresolved shit sitting underneath us. We move toward what feels familiar, even when familiar hurts us.That was probably the biggest thing this episode sat inside.How many relationships are actually built from awareness?And how many are built from wounds trying to find relief?We talk about physical abuse, emotional safety, attachment styles, pornography, projection, narcissism, social media outrage, and the human tendency to constantly need someone else to blame for the discomfort we feel inside ourselves.Not in a preachy way. Not as theory. As real human behaviour.There is a part of this conversation where we move into accountability and that is where things got interesting for me. Because it is easy to point at parents, ex partners, childhood, trauma, society, or whatever else shaped us. And to be fair, a lot of those things genuinely do shape us. But eventually there comes a point where we have to ask:What is my responsibility now?Not what happened to me.What am I continuing to repeat?That is the shift this whole conversation keeps circling around.We also speak a lot about modern relationships and the way people unconsciously recreate the same dynamic over and over with different faces. Different partner. Same argument. Same wound. Same ending.And underneath all of it is usually the same thing. Fear.Fear of abandonment.Fear of rejection.Fear of not being enough.Fear of actually being seen.This is not a conversation about perfect relationships or becoming some spiritually enlightened couple who never argues. It is about recognising your own patterns quickly enough that you stop destroying connection every time discomfort shows up.The statement Terraine leaves for the next guest is this:Creating memories are the gateway to happiness.It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s MENo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.Terraine Brown can be found at:https://www.behindtheshades.caWEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m on my own again.This one is different.I sit inside the groups I’m launching and why I think people are starving for spaces where they can stop performing and start being fucking honest.Not self improvement.Not life coaching.Not people pretending they’ve transcended being human.Just real people sitting in a room together finally realising:“Fuck. I do that too.”I talk about addiction recovery, unconscious behaviour, emotional triggers, avoidance, projection, defensiveness, relationships, affairs, criticism, masculinity, feminine energy, and the stories we keep repeating without even realising it.I break down how small moments inside relationships are never really about the surface issue.The coffee machine isn’t about the coffee machine.The tone isn’t about the tone.The argument today usually started twenty years ago.This episode is really about slowing things down enough to see what is actually happening underneath our reactions.I also talk about the danger of becoming the smartest person in the room.How insight becomes ego.How awareness becomes armour.How people hide behind therapy language instead of actually changing.These groups are not therapy.They are not motivational seminars.They are not a place to be fixed.They are a place to get honest enough to finally see yourself.The only real rule:Don’t be a C*nt.The question this episode leaves behind is this:What story are you still telling that keeps you from looking in the mirror?It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s MENo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by David Hackett.It’s a fascinating conversation because while David speaks openly about control, codependency, loneliness, and emotional pressure inside his previous marriage, there are still moments where you can hear how easy it is for all of us to stay focused on what the other person did.Not from malice. Not from manipulation. Just from being human.That’s what made this conversation interesting to me. Listening to someone genuinely trying to make sense of their life while still unconsciously sitting inside parts of the same patterns most of us do. The need to explain. The need to justify. The need to make sense of pain by locating the cause outside ourselves.And to be fair, some of what he describes sounds genuinely difficult. There are clear elements of emotional control, anxiety, pressure, and losing yourself inside a relationship dynamic. But what fascinated me was hearing how awareness starts to form in real time. You can almost hear someone halfway between blame and accountability.That space is uncomfortable as fuck.Because once we stop seeing ourselves as completely innocent, we also have to start asking harder questions. Why did I stay? Why did I ignore myself? What part of me accepted that dynamic? That is where the real work starts.This conversation with David, shows the human condition of relationships, without blaming or defending his ex wife. It is about showing how messy relationships actually are when two people collide.And now another layer has opened up.David’s ex wife has reached out and wants to tell her side of the story.It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s MENo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by Xanet.Xanet is a sex and intimacy coach who came into this work through lived experience. Twenty six years in a sexless marriage. Not theory. Not study. Real life.This conversation sits inside intimacy, vulnerability, and what actually happens in long term relationships when the surface level connection fades and people are left facing themselves.We talk about the difference between sex and intimacy and how most people confuse the two. How easy it is to have sex without real closeness, especially in the beginning of relationships when dopamine and novelty are doing most of the work.But long term intimacy is different.It asks more of you.More honesty.More vulnerability.More exposure.Because eventually it is not about impressing the other person anymore. It is about allowing yourself to actually be seen.We go into the fear around that.How much easier it can feel to be sexually open with someone new than with the person you have built a life with. Because with a stranger there is no real risk. But with your partner, rejection lands deeper. You still have to look them in the eye afterwards. You still have to stay in the relationship with whatever gets exposed.Xanet speaks openly about her own attachment wounds and how they still show up in her relationship now. The fear around hard conversations. The fear of abandonment. And how awareness does not magically remove the reaction, but it does create space to work with it differently.This one also moves into something I care about a lot.The way childhood patterns show up in adult relationships. Not as concepts, but in real moments. Conflict, defensiveness, withdrawal, fear, reassurance. Most of the time it is not two adults fighting. It is two wounded children trying to protect themselves.We also talk about therapy itself and how easy it is for people like us to hide behind awareness, language, and knowledge. To start therapising instead of connecting. To explain instead of feeling.This conversation is not about perfect relationships.It is about what it takes to stay open inside one. What it takes to repair. To own your shit. To stop seeing your partner as the enemy and start seeing what is actually happening underneath the reaction.The question Xanet leaves for the next guest is this.If there is one thing in your life you could have done differently, what would it have been?It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s MENo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.Xanet Pailet can be found at https://www.passionateintimacyretreats.com/@xanetpop on InstagramWEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailThis episode, it’s just ME.No guest, no back and forth, no distraction. Just me sitting inside the question that was left and actually answering it instead of dodging it.When have I felt completely helpless and it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.I go back about eight years. On paper, everything was sorted. House, money, business, toys, family. The life most people are chasing. The top of the mountain I thought was going to fix everything.And nothing changed, because I hadn’t changed.That’s where it started to crack. I hit a point where everything I had built didn’t match how I felt. So I did what most people do. I started looking around for the problem. I changed locations, changed direction, tried to move my life around hoping something would shift.It didn’t. It got worse.I ended up back at my mum’s place in my early forties with my daughter. Everything I owned was tied up in court. COVID hit at the same time. No control, no direction, no idea what the fuck I was doing.That was the collapse.Not the one at 22 when I got sober. This was different. This was internal. Everything I thought I was fell apart.And I didn’t want to hear any of the shit people were saying at the time. That there was a lesson in it. That I should stay with it. That I shouldn’t rush out of the suffering. I wanted it to stop.But that was the turning point.Because when everything else dropped away, I had nowhere left to look except at myself. Not the version I liked, not the story I told, but the actual patterns. The way I showed up in relationships, as a partner, as a father, as a boss, and even as someone trying to help others while still avoiding parts of myself.This episode sits inside that shift. What happens when the life you built doesn’t save you. What happens when the story stops working. What happens when you run out of people to blame and the only place left to look is inward.It also moves into what’s happening now. The world feels unstable, people are under pressure, and there’s a lot of fear around what’s coming next. Most people are looking for answers somewhere outside of themselves, hoping something out there will settle it.What I’ve seen is the opposite.Sometimes things have to collapse. Sometimes you have to feel helpless. Because that’s the only point where something real can actually change, not the surface version, not the image, but the foundation underneath it.I don’t fix it.I sit inside what that collapse actually did, what it showed me, and what it cost to stop running from it.The question I leave for the next guest is this.What is something you wish you were better at in relationships?It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s MENo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by David Russell.David is my supervisor. Decades in the field. Academic, therapist, teacher. More lived experience than most and not hiding behind it.This conversation sits inside something deeper than most people want to go.We go straight into the question that was left.What does it mean when something is done out of love beyond good and evil.And it doesn’t stay philosophical for long.David breaks it down in a way that strips the bullshit out of it. Good and evil as ideas don’t hold much. They don’t carry imagination. They don’t carry depth. They are labels. Morality. Surface level.We move into something else.Soul.Not as a word people throw around. As something that actually happens. In the moment. In connection. In presence.Not something you learn.Not something you perform.Something you allow.We also go into the danger in this work.How easy it is to hide behind the identity of therapist, coach, psychologist. To use training as armour. To sit above instead of with.And how quickly that kills any real connection.This one hits on something I care about a lot.Dropping the vertical relationship. Therapist above client. Parent above child. One person holding the power.And moving it into something more honest. More equal. More human.Not losing boundaries.Not losing responsibility.But actually meeting someone where they are instead of trying to manage them.There’s also honesty in this.The pull of ego.The inflation that comes when someone tells you how good you are.How easy it is to believe your own bullshit if you don’t check it.No one is above that.Not me.Not him.Not anyone.This one slows things down.Less talking.More presence.The question David leaves for the next guest is this.When have you felt completely helpless and it ended up being the best thing that ever happened to you?It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s MENo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by Josh Shay.Josh is a coach who works with pornography addiction and the fallout that comes with it. Before that, he was what most people would call high functioning. Successful, visible, respected. All while hiding alcoholism and a porn addiction that was running his life underneath it.This conversation sits inside illusion, validation, and what it costs to hold everything together.Josh speaks about being an overachiever who could perform at a high level while everything underneath was falling apart. The energy it took just to maintain the image. To keep people seeing what he wanted them to see while hiding what was actually going on.What stood out in this one is how much of his identity was built on external validation. Awards, recognition, status. Not because he was arrogant, but because he needed it to feel like he was enough. And how quickly that falls apart when the addiction catches up.We go into the moment where everything collapsed. Losing his role, being confronted by the people around him, and having to make a decision. Keep going the way he was going or face what was actually there.From there, the conversation moves into responsibility.Not just stopping the behaviour.Understanding how you got there in the first place.Because putting something down is one thing.Seeing why you needed it is something else entirely.We also talk about ego.How easy it is to chase attention.How easy it is to build a version of yourself that looks good from the outside.And how different it feels to step away from that and live a quieter life that is actually aligned.This one is honest.Not about perfection.Not about having it all sorted.About what it takes to go from performing your life to actually living it.The question Josh leaves for the next guest is this.What does it mean when something is done out of love and exists beyond good and evil?It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s MENo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, it’s just me.No guest. No back and forth. Just me marking something that actually matters. 25 years clean and sober.This one is not about storytelling. It is more of a reflection. Not the polished version. The real one.I talk about what it actually means to be sober. The difference between being abstinent and actually doing the work. Because putting the drink down is one thing. Changing how you live is something else entirely.I go back to what drove it in the first place. Feeling different. Not fitting in. Needing something to bridge that gap. And how alcohol did that for a while until it didn’t.This episode sits inside that shift. What it takes to live in the world without needing something external to make you feel okay. And how that is still a daily practice. Not something that gets ticked off and finished.I also speak about selfishness. Not pretending it’s gone. Not pretending I’ve fixed it. Just being honest about the fact it’s still there. And that awareness is what keeps me from falling straight back into it.There is also something deeper in this one. The idea that we are not broken. That the cracks are part of it. That the work is not about becoming perfect, but about being willing to look at yourself without turning away.This is not a lesson. It is a check in. A reminder of where I came from and what it actually takes to stay on this path.No fixing.No wrapping it up.Just being honest about the fact that if I forget who I am, I lose everything.It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad TaylorAuthor or It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME.No tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by Renee.We trained together, but she’s taken a very different path. Less structure, less rules, more creativity and depth. This conversation sits inside identity, realness, and what happens when you strip away who you think you are.Renee works with weaving as a therapeutic process. Not just the outcome, but the act itself. Sitting, creating, and allowing something deeper to come through. The product matters, but the process holds just as much weight.What stood out straight away was how quickly identity starts to fall apart when you question it. Who are you without your work, without validation, without the story you tell yourself about who you are? She speaks openly about that space where everything external drops away and you’re left with something a bit more raw and a lot less certain.We also go into realness. Not the polished version. The actual version. The part where you stop performing, stop following rules, and start being honest about what’s actually there. How most of us are conditioned into roles and expectations, and how easy it is to lose ourselves inside that.There’s also a big piece around relationships. Not trying to fix or change the other person, but being able to sit with them exactly as they are. And the uncomfortable truth that if you can’t do that, you’ve got to question what you’re actually doing in the relationship in the first place.This one moves deeper than surface level pretty quickly.Less about answers, more about questioning the things you’ve been blindly accepting as truth.The question Renee leaves for the next guest is this.What question would you most often ask yourself if your consideration was self-honouring?It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad TaylorNo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.Renee can be found at Web: https://weavery.com.au/author/admin/Insta: https://www.instagram.com/weavehealconnected/Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/rene.bahloo/WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, it’s just me.No guest, no buffer, no one to hide behind. Just me and the question that was left from the previous episode and where it took me.This one moves into inaction, collapse, and what it actually takes to change. Not as ideas, but as lived experience.The conversation comes straight out of Easter. Not the version most people focus on, not the story or the history, but the pattern underneath it. Death and rebirth. Collapse and what comes after it.I go back to a moment in my own life where everything had fallen apart. Addiction, violence, blame, running the same story over and over again with different people and getting the same outcome every time. Eventually there was nowhere left to run. That point where inaction is no longer an option. That point where something in you either breaks or changes.The shift from believing everyone else is the problem to realising the common denominator might actually be me. Not as shame, but as responsibility. And how confronting that is when the story you have built your life around starts to fall apart.I also go into something that gets missed a lot.That what I was chasing in addiction was not the substance. It was the feeling. The connection. The relief. And how easily that gets transferred into something else. Work, success, money, relationships. Different form, same pattern.This is not about recovery as a concept.It is about what it actually costs to stop running. What it takes to drop the story. What it takes to stop needing to be right and start looking at what is actually happening.I talk about the moment where the ego cracks and something deeper has a chance to come through.The question I leave for the next guest is this.What would collapse if you stopped being right?It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad TaylorNo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by Sarah G.Sarah is a university student working full time, with a strong interest in self improvement, introspection, and understanding herself beyond surface level thinking.We sit inside intuition, overthinking, and inaction.Not as concepts.As lived experience.We talk about the split most of us are taught early on.Mind over body.Logic over feeling.Thinking over knowing.Sarah speaks about growing up trusting thought above everything else. Over analysing. Interrogating every decision. Delaying action until everything felt certain.And what that cost her.We stay with that tension.The gap between knowing and doing.The hesitation that looks intelligent but keeps you stuck.The subtle way overthinking becomes avoidance.We talk about intuition.Not as something mystical.As something practical.The ability to move.To decide.To trust without needing complete certainty.This conversation also touches on anxiety and depression.Not as something broken.As a response.A response to living in the past.A response to living in the future.A response to being disconnected from the present moment.We do not fix it.We sit inside the cost of not trusting yourself.The cost of waiting.The cost of staying safe.And what starts to shift when you finally move anyway.The question Sarah leaves for the next guest is this.At what point in your life did inaction cost you?It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad TaylorNo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.Sarah can be found atEmail: [email protected]: @sarahgiannouWEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by Di Black.Di is a psychotherapist and someone who was also my therapist for a period of time. She brings depth, honesty, and a willingness to sit in uncomfortable spaces without needing to rush to answers.We sit inside fear, identity, and vulnerability.Not as concepts.As lived experience.We start with a question that hits hard.Share your most guarded secret.Your most embarrassing fear.The thing you least want to say out loud.We stay with what that brings up.Di speaks about recurring dreams. Feeling lost. Losing identity. Not knowing who she is or where home is. The fear of losing memory, losing self, and what it means to exist without the structure we rely on.We sit with that.Not to analyse it.Not to fix it.Just to be in it.We move into addiction.Not just substances.Addiction to thinking.Addiction to being right.Addiction to our own perspective.We talk about how hard it is to step outside of that. How we live inside our own version of reality and mistake it for truth.And how relationships force us to confront that.To step into someone else’s experience.To drop the certainty.To admit we might not see the full picture.We also touch on vulnerability in therapy.The idea that therapists are not above the work.That hiding behind the role can become another defence.And that real connection comes from being human first.We do not solve anything.We sit inside the discomfort of not knowing.Of not being as together as we think we should be.Of recognising that the work never really ends.The question Di leaves for the next guest is this.If you could have your life over again, what would you change?It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad TaylorNo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.Di Black is a Psychotherapist and can be found atWebsite: https://www.facebook.com/zenconnect9/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zenconnect9/?hl=enWEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by Tommy.Tommy is in recovery. He is also a businessman, a dog dad, and the founder of Takeoff Monkey, a construction estimating business he built after drinking himself out of everything and starting again from nothing.We sit inside recovery, accountability, and what happens when one person starts to wake up.Not as ideas.As lived experience.We talk about what it means to admit fault in a relationship and then have that honesty turned back on you as a weapon.We stay with the tension of that.How owning your shit can be freeing.How it can also be dangerous in the wrong relationship.How one person doing the work cannot carry the whole burden for two.Tommy speaks openly about sobriety, obsession, and what happened when he got sober and realised the life he was in no longer fit. Not because she was a bad person. Not because he was above it. But because waking up changed the whole dynamic.We also talk about transference.How addiction does not just disappear.How alcohol can become work.How the pub can become the gym.How the same unconscious drive just puts on different clothes.This is not a conversation about being healed.It is about being honest enough to see the pattern.We talk about masculinity, emotional safety, repair, and how rare it is for two people to both take responsibility in the same moment.Because when they do, something shifts.Not perfectly.But enough.The question Tommy leaves for the next guest is this.Share your most guarded secret.Your most embarrassing fear.The thing you least want to say out loud.It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad TaylorNo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.Tommy Lather can be found at www.takeoffmonkey.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/tommylather/WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn today's episode I am on my own.Last week Toni Will left the next guest a question.What have you changed your mind about lately?Usually my guests get hit with that question without warning. This time it landed on me.For most of my life I believed the problem in my relationships was the other person.The partner.The boss.The coworker.Different people. Same story.Eventually something uncomfortable happened.I ran out of people to blame.This episode sits inside that turning point.The moment where I started to realise that if the same dynamic keeps happening with different people, the common denominator might actually be me.I talk about how easy it is to build an identity around being the victim of your story. How we walk around repeating the same narrative about what happened to us, who hurt us, and why things never seem to work out.And how confronting it is when that story starts to fall apart.I also talk about a moment that landed for me recently through a simple Japanese haiku.Barn burns down.Now I can see the moon.Sometimes the thing we thought was protecting us is actually what was blocking us.When the structure collapses it feels terrifying. But sometimes that collapse is exactly what lets us see something deeper that was always there.This episode also touches on something that gets missed in a lot of personal development conversations.Responsibility sounds mature. It sounds enlightened.But responsibility can also be dangerous if you offer it in the wrong places.If you start owning your behaviour around people who will not look at themselves, that responsibility can quickly be turned into a weapon against you.So the work is not just about looking in the mirror.It is also about knowing where it is safe to do that work.Because if only one person in a relationship starts waking up, the dynamic often cannot survive the shift.We do not solve it.We sit inside the discomfort of recognising our own patterns, our own ego, and the ways we keep repeating the same story.The question I leave for the next guest is this.Have you ever admitted you were wrong or at fault in a relationship and had it used as a weapon against you?It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME In Session with a PsychotherapistHosted by Chad TaylorNo tips.No fixing.Just real conversations.WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by Toni Will.Toni is the General Manager of a men’s professional hockey team in Michigan. She is one of the few women in the world in that role. She is five and a half years sober, runs a coaching business helping high functioning professionals reduce or remove substances from their lives, hosts a podcast, and has a book coming out this year.We sit inside pressure, identity, and relief.Not as ideas.As lived experience.We talk about high performance environments. What happens when success breeds more pressure. What it means to be at the top of your field and still be human.We move into sobriety. Not as a badge. Not as a moral high ground. But as something that can start as armor.Toni speaks openly about using sobriety as protection at first. Living it out loud. Hiding inside the identity so she would not slip back into who she used to be.We sit with the tension between pride and self righteousness. Between healing and ego. Between growth and performance.Then we land on something deeper.Relief.Not just addiction to substances. Addiction to relief. The search for dopamine. The escape through food, shopping, achievement, busyness, validation.We ask the harder question.What are you actually trying to escape?This is not a conversation about fixing addiction.It is about noticing where relief has quietly replaced presence.We do not resolve it.We leave it where it lives.The question Toni leaves for the next guest is this.What have you changed your mind about lately?It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME In Session with a Psychotherapistis a podcast about relationships, self avoidance, and the shit we pretend is not us.Hosted by Chad Taylor, psychotherapist and author ofIt’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME.No tips.No fixing.Just honest conversations.Toni is a Coach and Author and can be found at:Website: toniwill.com (empowHER 2026 - conference, Rebellious Success - book) Insta - imtoniwillLinkedIn - Toni Lentini WillWEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by Claire.Claire is a counsellor, a mother, a wife, and someone I studied with. She understands this work from the inside, not just professionally, but personally.We sit inside authenticity, over responsibility, and rejection.Not as concepts.As lived relationship dynamics.We talk about the illusion that therapy is about fixing other people and the reality that it becomes a mirror. A constant confrontation with your own patterns. Your own defences. Your own subtle violence.We sit with what it costs to be fully authentic.Not the cost of hiding.The cost of actually showing up.Claire shares something uncomfortable. In trying not to reject her husband, she was rejecting him in micro ways. Correcting. Reframing. Telling him what he really meant. Gaslighting without intending to.We stay inside that tension.How good intentions still wound.How perfection creates distance.How taking too much responsibility can become another defence.This is not a conversation about getting it right.It is about noticing where we create the very dynamic we say we do not want.We do not fix it.We do not wrap it up.We leave it where it lives. In the complexity of two imperfect people trying to meet each other without weapons.The question Claire leaves for the next guest is this.What do you blame your partner for but secretly it suits you?It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME In Session with a Psychotherapistis a podcast about relationships, self avoidance, and the shit we pretend is not us.Hosted by Chad Taylor, psychotherapist and author ofIt’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME.No tips.No fixing.Just honest conversations.Claire is a Clinical Psychotherapist and can be found at:Website - https://www.holisticcounselling.co.nzInsta - holistic_counselling_cwelchWEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m on my own.Solo episodes are different. Harder. There’s nowhere to hide when there’s no guest sitting across from you.This one sits inside resentment, projection, and accountability — not as theory, but as lived history.I speak about Pam, my former mother-in-law, and a period of my life where I was reactive, resentful, and convinced someone else was the problem. Messages were sent. Blame was projected. Stories were told — and believed.And then came the moment that this podcast is named after:Where I thought it was her.Oh fuck — it’s me.We sit inside what it costs to hold a story for decades.The bar stool version of 1982 that never ends.The righteousness of being wronged.The protection of staying the victim.Not to fix it.Not to rewrite it.But to notice how strong the pull is to look out instead of in.Amy’s message from the previous episode was simple:The next time you think about judging somebody, stop — and ask yourself why.This episode sits inside that.Where do I still judge?Where do I still protect?Where do I still tell stories that keep me safe but disconnected?We move through social media envy.Engagement frustration.Expectation inside relationships.Even a recent engagement and the quiet tension between authenticity and performance.What does it cost to wear the mask?What does it cost to remove it?We don’t land it neatly.We don’t resolve it.We leave it where it actually lives — inside the tension between awareness and embodiment.The message left for the next guest is this:What is the cost of being fully accountable to yourself — and fully authentic?And how does that cost you in your life?It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME — In Session with a Psychotherapistis a podcast about relationships, self-avoidance, and the shit we pretend isn’t us.Hosted by Chad Taylor, psychotherapist and author ofIt’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME.No tips.No fixing.Just honest conversations.WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by Amy.Amy had read It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME and reached out to sit in a conversation. It’s her first time on a podcast, and we don’t make a story out of that. We stay with what’s actually there.We sit inside judgment — not as a concept, but as a lived pattern that shows up automatically, often before it’s noticed.We talk about how judgment starts early.Learned in families.Normalised as personality.Used as protection.And how it quietly follows us into adult life — into relationships, work, parenting, and intimacy — especially with the people we feel safest with.We stay with what it’s like to catch yourself after the judgment has already happened.Mid-thought.Mid-reaction.And to feel the discomfort of seeing it without immediately defending it, justifying it, or turning it into someone else’s fault.This isn’t a conversation about stopping judgment.It’s about noticing the cost.The cost of distance.The cost of righteousness.The cost of staying protected instead of present.We don’t clean it up.We don’t resolve it.We leave it where it actually lives.The episode ends with something left for the next guest to carry forward:The next time you think about judging somebody, stop, turn it around and ask yourself that question. Why am I about to judge them? That's it.It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME — In Session with a Psychotherapistis a podcast about relationships, self-avoidance, and the shit we pretend isn’t us.Hosted by Chad Taylor, psychotherapist and author ofIt’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME.No tips.No fixing.Just honest conversations.WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I’m joined by my partner, Sophie.We sit inside mirroring, masking, and perfectionism — not as ideas or frameworks, but as lived patterns playing out in real time.We talk about how mirroring starts early: fitting in, staying safe, learning how to belong. And how those same strategies quietly follow us into adult relationships, work, intimacy, and even the way we “do the work.”Not to fix it.Not to resolve it.But to notice the cost.The cost of staying palatable.The cost of hiding emotions.The cost of rejecting parts of yourself before anyone else gets the chance.We don’t land a takeaway.We leave it where it actually lives — inside the tension of seeing a pattern and still feeling pulled to repeat it.The episode ends without answers, but with a question worth sitting in.It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME — In Session with a Psychotherapistis a podcast about relationships, self-avoidance, and the shit we pretend isn’t us.Hosted by Chad Taylor, psychotherapist and author ofIt’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME.No tips.No fixing.Just honest conversations.Sophie is a Therapist and can be found at www.thewolfyoufeed.comWEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Send us Fan MailThis is the first episode, and I want to be clear from the start.This isn’t self-help.It’s not advice.And it’s definitely not about fixing yourself so you can be more tolerable in relationships.I’m introducing why this podcast exists, why I wrote It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME, and why I’m done with the performance of “doing the work” while nothing actually changes.I explain the structure going forward:Solo episodes where I speak honestly about addiction, self-avoidance, unconsciousness and my own patterns of repeated behavioursConversations with other therapists who aren’t interested in teaching, just in being vulnerable and honestReal sessions with readers and clients, sitting in the middle of what’s actually happening for them — not the polished versionThis podcast is about the moments we usually rush past.The discomfort we rename as growth.And the ways we keep choosing the same outcomes while blaming different people.No tips.No transformation tricks.No neat ending.Just a place to stop lying to yourself.WEBSITEINSTAGRAM BOOK SALES: SHOPIFYGROUPS/COURSES: PATREON