Hello all, it's Helen here, the voice of Azu from Rusty Quill Gaming, and the host and director of Enthusigasm. Today, I'm here to tell you about The Program. The Program audio series is a science fiction anthology podcast set in a world where money, state, and God are fused into a single entity. Every episode is a standalone story featuring ordinary people inhabiting this extraordinary world. And for them, it's not the future that is terrifying, but our present. The Program is sometimes funny, sometimes poignant, but it is always smart.
Find out more about the programme at www.rustyquill.com or www.programmaudioseries.com or search for The Programme Audio Series wherever you listen to your podcasts. Have fun and enjoy the episode. Hello and welcome to episode 188 of the Rustic World Gaming Podcast. I'm your host, GM Alex, and you're all with me today. I have... Ben Meredith. Rune Munro. Lydia Nicholas. And Helen Gould. And who are you playing? Zolf Smith. Hamid Salava-Runal-Tahan. Sel Sipadam. And Azu. So, I believe, unless I'm jumping ahead, you all fell out of the teleport into various rooms dotted around the company where some people were recording remotely, yes? We got that far. Am I jumping ahead? Yes. Bringing back in, yeah? This is too meta. It's too meta. Just leave us in the void where we belong. Yes. I will make my home here. It's going to be good. Some Hideo Kojima bull.
You find yourself an enormous game over screen. You don't know how you got here. I'll plug my controller and put it in a player two slot and then I can still play the game. So I believe where we left off is a nice clearing of NPC house, which made me very happy. You've still got three. Yeah, for now. Shave some of those off. I'll find a way. I can't believe you gave two characters a nice romantic beginning.
And then you just, that's when you decided to dump the NPCs en masse. Like, I just, it's just the fact that we're now traveling across space and time. And like, Azu's like, when's the second date? And Cell's like, damn it, I thought of so many good pickup lines to make Barnes like embarrassed. It's fine. We'll finish out the campaign. Then Azu can take all the Infinity Stones back and then take the long way around with Kiko. It's fine. Do not speak to me of that ending. So this is quite a light start for Imperiled Beginnings, but nonetheless, you are all currently...
Flying through infinity, or some version of wording, I think was what I said. Falling into a void, et cetera. And as a gentle reminder for you and listeners, as part of falling through the infinite, naturally a small piece of the infinite lodges within yourself, which just so happens to be quite exactly to one level. How convenient is the infinite, guys? Like, oh my gosh, thank you, infinite. That's really rounding things out nicely. I see we're using the classic computer game ding moment.
Perfect. Indeed, indeed. Talk about arbitrary justification. This is possibly my most arbitrary, and I couldn't be prouder. But with that in mind, everyone is levelling up, so I'm going to deal with that before we return into what's happening. I am going to preface this with, you have still taken damage and any new things that are coming your way, if they require the spending of a spell slot or whatever, that is empty until you rest. This is not a rest. You are falling through the infinite. It is not restful. But it's a good idea to go through everyone quickly, one at a time, and check in with what your level up looks like. So I'm going to start, if I may, with Brynn, as you also have Skrarchs to discuss. So let's get through that. And what did your level up look like, quite quickly?
Turns out for most characters, level 9 to level 10 is pretty easy. Skrark went from level 7 to level 8, which was also not too complicated. All the numbers increased a little bit, as they do when you level up. They went from good numbers to better numbers. Yeah, lots of numbers went up by plus 1. Great. The only abilities that have changed, really, are Hammond gained a new spell. It is a level 5 spell. It is the spell Lightning Arc. It's a damage-based spell, not based on fire, which is an interesting new direction. I hate it. Also, just for the record, my spell specialisation feat gets to switch spells every two levels, and I switched it from Fireball, which is now maxed out anyway, to...
Lightning arc. So, good times. Fireball is maxed out anyway because also our problems, am I right? Right, right. How about Skrark? So Skrark, very similarly, all the numbers went up. I actually took the opportunity to rejig a few of the skill allocations a little bit for Skrark based on what he's been using. Just a few tweaks here and there to a few numbers. His only new ability is a rogue talent which became a feat and that feat is called Death From Above because, I mean, who doesn't want that? And it basically means that when he does his patented climbing up something, leaping off and falling on you.
knife first, he now gets bonuses to attack rolls. Understood. In that case, well, I mean, death from above presumably scales with how far you fall, so if you fall through an infinite void, that's a lot of damage. It's just a flat bonus to the attack. It doesn't even affect damage. We'll need to come up with something where falling through the infinite gives you a boost. There's a whole second feat which you'll get the next time you get to feat, which would give him bonus damage on that effect too. Understood. We'll push you through the infinite again then on the way back. In that case then, I'm going to bounce across to Ben. You're a casty type. What does your level up look like? Yeah, quite similar. So all my saves went up by one, base attack bonus went up by one, and I got a second level five spell slot.
Given I'm a prepare caster, that spell is currently anything in the cleric level 5 list. So, you know, watch this space. I'll need to rest to actually put something in it. And no doubt it will be horrendous. Yes. Of note, actually, brings me to mind about skills, is I actually leveled up knowledge planes, because we've been dealing with a lot of plane-y things in Yerlik, and we've done a lot of knowledge planes. That's very sensible, that holds together. It seems to make sense. The other thing is, while looking through, I kind of updated this character sheet and recalculated stuff, and a point of order is that I've massively mucked up the number of channel-positive energies he has. I was assuming that it went off of wisdom, which is a cleric spellcasting stat, and it's not. It goes off of charisma. So I don't have seven channel-positive energies a day. I have...
Two. I just want listeners to imagine Alex's face now, and also when we were discussing this before. as we were going through the really, really crunchy stuff, Jack, and everything was right. I don't know what you mean. As he realised that his maths had been correct the whole way through. I don't know what you mean. It's fine. I'm taking this news so calm and so well. I'm sure there will be no larger repercussions. And I'm fine that there will not be punishment in order and that I'm not just going to resurrect a medusa just so I can get the petrification that I deserve and that kind of thing. I mean, Grizzop was there at the time, so it had nothing to do with that. That was just Sasha stabbing it to death. That's a fair point. We did have some thinking as well, and I don't think the excess channel positives actually have made that much of a difference. Jokes aside, not really. Probably only during the show in Dungeon Crawl.
The one thing that is worth mentioning is I used two channel positives during our day in the garden, so I'm now out. When you say it like that, it sounds silly. So the previous fights we've just done, we didn't get any extra healing, but it does mean that I don't have any healing for when we pop. Well, sorry, I don't have any channel positives. I'm still a cleric. I have loads of healing left. Loads of hit points for everyone. Share them around. In that case then, Lydia, I'm going to jump to you. Alchemists, they're always simple to level up with no complications or qualifiers whatsoever, so I'm assuming yours was straightforward. Okay, so Cel got a bunch of numbers that went up, you know, saves and...
attack bonus and stuff. Congratulations on your numbers. Yeah, the things that are actually interesting are that they now have a level four alchemist slot, though it's worth pointing out that they've got alchemical allocation and have a fourth level spell as a potion, which was dealt with earlier. So that functions as a level two spell. So they can do that and still have some spell slots for it.
But yeah, when they've had a rest, there will be a few other things. Alchemists can technically supposedly know all their extracts, but they're supposed to learn them in... They can know any extract, but they have to learn them in gameplay. It just made sense to me that what gets added is B-shaped 2. So when they have a rest, they can become more kinds of animals of different sizes and capabilities. Oh, yes. Finally, they may not be struggling in the dark quite so much. The other thing is that they get another discovery, which is a sort of addition to... Usually it's an addition to bomb stuff. I cannot be bothered with the levels of complication that most of them come with, so I've just made all their bombs sticky, which just means that any that hit...
directly will then do splash damage again next turn so nice oh and i've realized that they've also got access to heroism as a level three extract which is something that having seen a wild do it I think it was while they did it, was it? Hamid did it. Oh, Cell stans Hamid. And, you know, hence getting a dragon breath ability and like copying heroism. So that is now in their extract book. And hopefully that might mean that some of their bombs actually hit, you know, because it gives an extra plus two to those roles. So maybe that could work. Maybe. You never know. We can live in hope. They also have a ton of skill points. And I put a lot of that in knowledge nature because we've been looking at weird plants. That scans. It's always nice whenever I hear someone say, I got loads of ranks. And you don't say, so I just learned 14 new languages. Quintzel already knows a lot of languages. Well, I say a lot. More than I do. Although they are...
tied to ones that I know a bit so that, you know, I even looked up like gender neutral pronouns in Portuguese, which is actually a really interesting topic. I'm really sorry I can't put you in Portugal. Well, it would be Brazil, which is where, like, or that area, which is where I've been and where Sel has been. Not Portuguese, which makes a lot of difference. Do they still speak Portuguese? I would say historically, right, there wouldn't have been the same kind of what my headcanon is, which I'm going to say is what Cell thinks has happened. But Alex can say this is not necessarily the way the world works in detail, is that just as there have been a few towns of people that mostly spoke English that became trading hubs in North America, there were some Spanish and Portuguese trading centers. But the history is extremely different and it is possibly shut down at about the same time.
that, you know, maybe the ones in North America did. That scans. I will say, however, that linguistic history is not something I intend to be diving down, so I have lesser prep than I should to answer that question at this exact moment. There's lots of things that I've thought about that you don't need to think about. Well, the real question then is, have you thought about Helen's level up? Because I have, and I'd love to know more. What a nice segue. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Thank you. My level up is basically nothing. I take my segue back then. Thank you very much. I have...
gained some hit points my total is the total of hit points i can have is now 89 so nice plus 20 i have some extras to my like i got an extra one to fortitude reflex and will my bab is better that's base attack bonus for those following along at home any new and shiny spells can you perhaps grow a second iron beard now sadly no um i do now have access to one third level spell Obviously, I can't access it yet because I haven't had a sleep. But the one that I will probably use is one called Prayer, which gives all of us plus ones and all of our enemies minus ones, which would be good. Also, there is a spell that will give Topaz wings. So I've just got that on the... Just saying, you know. Yeah, just so you know. Full Valgrance. That's what we're going for. Yeah.
Yeah, very good. Understood. Well, that was very generous of the infinite, wasn't it? Goodness, I hope you're all very appreciative. Speaking of, I believe we're all plummeting through a void of stars and galaxies and slowly feeling ourselves distributed amongst the cosmos and the planes? Do we need to establish the marching order and who's holding who's hand? No, I think what we need to establish is dominance. With that, I'd like a will, safe, fort, safe and reflex save from everyone. Oh, God. This is our first recording since Christmas and this is the first thing we're having to roll. God's sake.
Bloody hell, all right. Are we all going to do forts first? Yeah, let's do them in order. Otherwise, I'm going to have a bad day very, very quickly. Oh, we wouldn't want that for you, Alex. So what's everyone's fort save first? So cell roll a natural one. Oh, no. That's good. Thank you. Remember, they're immune to poison. I don't know if that's relevant. I hope it helps. 22 for Zolf's fort. 17 for Azu. 13 for Hammett and 11 for Skrark. Oh, no. We're all going to be sick when we come out the other end.
Oh, yeah. Understood. Cool. Well, that was a good start. I'm very happy with Lydia. To give you an idea of how these are going to go for sale, I double-checked that I wasn't accidentally rolling a d6 on my hand. Oh, no. So, can I get a will save from everyone, please?
Oh, this is a will save. Okay, great. So, Zolf got a 32. Zolf got eight. Does that make you feel better? See, Zolf's my favourite. Big fan of Zolf. Yep. As we've got 23. 17 for Hammett, 18 for Scrap. Also, sorry, Alex, I just need to ask, is this an emotion spell or effect, or a poison, a spell, or a spell-like ability? No. Okay, fine. 32, then. It's very carefully crafted. Not to be. You can get all of your toys at the end of the journey, or I'll turn this teleporter around. Hand it up to here. You keep turning the light on in the back seat.
Okay, can I get a reflex save from everyone, please? That's a 15 from Solve. Oh, 17 from Selve, which when you count that their reflex thing is 11, like that, they didn't roll higher than a 6 this whole. Understood. Azu somehow got 23. Nice. First time that a reflex or dex save has ever gone well at all. I'm very disappointed in you, carry on. 23 for Hamid, 18 for Skark. Okay, let me just have a look at this array quite quickly.
Did you roll for Summon Yell and Wilde? Oh, Bryn, you're also now my favourite. Oh, God. Because I don't have to hit you in the face, I can just hit your friends. No, that's worse! I can confirm there was at least one natural one within that. Oh, goodness. Me and Wilde are stuck in their interdimensional space going on a side quest. This is what happens when I get denied, like, rolls for too long. You had a lot of talkie sessions, so now all sessions must start with at least, like, 20 to 40 rolls. Okay, cool. Now, I know a lot of you will be expecting, well, a reflex save. That's going to control whether we can hold together, but how can you hold together when you don't have hands?
Um, Alex. Ben gets it. Could I please get everyone with me on a Wibble Wobble, please? Wibble Wobble Wibble Wibble Wibble Wibble Wibble Wibble. Correct. I'm going to take a break there and we can come back in on a Wibble Wibble. Because I really enjoyed that. It was super early, but who cares? We're having a break at 50 minutes in. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Your generosity in your Wibble Wobbles has been noted. Can my character live, please? No. That's just like a little treat.
What I would say, interestingly enough, is that Zolf is the first person to, let's call it, coming to. It's a bit of an understatement because it's not like you were asleep. It's more like, have you ever sort of zoned out maybe when driving or something and then you zoned back in where you've been perfectly safe, but you're just like, I sort of lost time there almost. I had almost a daydream. That, Zulf, you realise you're not sure how much time has passed, but you're currently in complete blackness. Do you have dark vision or just low-light vision? Yeah, do you also have dark vision? So you have true dark vision? I can see up to 60 feet, even in total darkness. Ah, in which case then I apologise, I'm going to retcon that slightly. You come to and you realise that you've been sort of daydreaming or something similar, and you find yourself in a long, low stone tunnel. It appears to be worked stone more akin to a mine than you would necessarily compare to, say, a temple.
So it is, tools have worked upon this rock, but it is not fancy. You are alone. Wild? Azu? Pan? Set? Anyone? Oh, no. I mean, I'm going to look around for any clues as to where I am. Is there anything I'd recognise? Yeah, absolutely. Can you give me a broad perception check then, please? Unless you want to bring any specialist stuff in. No, broad perception's fine. That is a 29.
29, fabulous, cool. So this is definitely a mine of some kind. There's a perceptible slope. It's a well-built mine. You can tell that there is a slope, so it's within sort of acceptable range, let's call it. It's not like precipitous or anything like that. There are unlit torch brackets on the wall, which could be lit should you wish. Decent minecart track running through. It's very clear where up is, very clear where down is. It takes a moment to recognise. It feels like probably a tin mine, something similar. Yeah, okay. I will start like quietly moving up because...
You know, I want to get to the surface and see what's up. Like, where am I? Okay, yeah, so you start moving up. Obviously, it's not perfectly straight. It doesn't work like that. There are slight kinks and turns and so on. But as you move up, you hear a distant rumble as of rocks settling. It doesn't appear to be a complete massive haven or anything like that, but it's a gentle sort of... Just something shifting and settling. You think it's coming from up ahead for where you are walking, but it's hard to tell. Okay, I'm going to be even quieter. Like, yeah, I don't know who's in this mine or what's going on, to be honest. So I'd rather get the drop on somebody before they get the drop on me. You start detecting the smell of smoke. Okay.
Given that I used to be a miner, what would that normally indicate? I'm going to give you this for free because you did a decent perception check and yeah, you do have some experience. To your nose, it smells like probably either a lit torch or a maybe it might be like ambient torches you can get where it's like an oil burner that you put in a room to just light the entire room, something like that. You can't hear it yet, but you've caught a whiff, which means that there is air passing through wherever you're coming towards. Air is coming down and bringing a scent with it. Okay. Oh, apart from that, by the way, it's seemingly deathly silent.
There's no sound of activity, no people, no moving carts, no mining of such. All right. Well, I'll get my glaives at the ready. I'm not going to turn it on. And I'll keep approaching because I have to find my way out and maybe I'll have to have a fight. I don't know. That's fine. You keep going a little while longer and then you find yourself up against what seems a recent rockfall. It apparently is a dead end. Blocked off completely. Bloody hell.
You start to hear the sound of a distant tap, tap, tapping, as of someone mining, but deeper below rather than up ahead. So you mean, like, back the way I came? Yes. Oh, I don't have shaped stone. That would be really useful to have as a spell. Phenomenally so, yes. I know. I wasn't expecting to be in a mine. I can suppress primal magic. Are these primal rocks? They all have hyper-masculine stances. Lots of bold colours. Okay, I'm not going to, like, spend hours and hours. I'm going to try and, like, because my glaive is magic, which means that it's pretty naturally hard.
So I'm going to try and dig through this rock slide a bit. Like, is it small? Like, up at the top trying to find a thing? Because I need to get out of here. To do anything useful. Yeah, exactly. That's fine. At which point then, I think I'm going to leave Zol for a little bit. Sure. So we disappear back into the ether, let's call it. And then I think... Oh yeah, a minor wibble wobble, please. Just a very minor one. Thank you. At which point then, I think we're going to go ahead and jump to... to Azu. Oh gosh. You have a similar experience. You sort of phase in almost. You are in an empty...
At first, empty, let's say. Better. A wasteland. It feels familiar to you. There's a lot of decimated and destroyed buildings around you. Let's say you come to sort of facing a wall, suddenly look around. You find yourself surrounded by ruins, with a particularly large ruin further ahead of you, up a slight slope. There are sounds of distant cries in this particular landscape. Non-sentient. Think what animal cries then. Oh, OK. All right.
Non-halfling cries, OK? It's not happening at all. If it's halfling cries, that is a halfling having an astonishingly bad day. Do the runes look familiar at all? Give me a perception check.
Well, I rolled a natural one, so that is a 12 in total. No, you can't place it. The ruins stretch as far as the eye can see in all directions. I'll give you this. It's not Rome. It's bigger than Rome. Rome had hills-ish around it. This doesn't. It's just ruins stretching as far as you can see in every direction, seemingly on the flat, apart from that one raised hill which has a much larger ruin upon it. Okay. I'm out in the open, yes? You're in the middle of what used to be a street. Let's say a crossroads. I'm considering summoning Topaz to give me a better vantage point and a friend. Yeah, basically. And also...
never actually looked into whether she makes me faster or not. I mean, camels are faster than you are, yes. Yeah. I summon Topaz. No, what you do is you try to summon Topaz. No, don't do this! Give me a new will save. I haven't forgotten the old one. You have a will save on the stack. Now we're playing games the way I like them. Oh, you're...
Getting back at us. OK, that is a 24. 24, cool. So you put the call out, as you know you do. You know it's worked. Your magic's definitely happened. If you had to guess, your call's been rejected. I refuse to believe that. I think that Azu also refuses to believe that, and it's just going to be like, I'm somewhere weird, and Topaz loves me. So she's going to start heading towards... You said there's a large ruin up ahead? Yeah, it's up a sort of slope, et cetera. I'd say out of all of this, the actual city itself isn't...
Rome as you remember it, but certainly that larger one is reminiscent of the centre of Rome as you remember it. It has the same kind of broad format. That's the Bank of England. It's a bit larger and a bit more... A bit more decrepit, let's say. Than the Bank of England or Nero's Palace? The Bank of Nero. The Banker's Palace, there you go. Oh, right, OK. I'm going to head towards the Bank of Nero. OK, in which case then, I am going to jump over to... I think... I think Sel. Oh, dear. Sel, the first thing that you realise is the sound of a lot of life. And by a lot of life, I mean the natural world is the first thing that you hear. And as you think about it, the most that you've probably heard since your childhood. Right.
And that's quickly followed by the sound of waves. And you do know where you are straight away. You're back home. Home 1.0. Original home. What state is the town in? It's not great. I'd say it's worst case scenario. Oh no. Worst case scenario, like recent worst case scenario? Like basically, is it still burning? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Something awful happened here and it happened a very...
very long time ago. I mean, like 60 years? No, more than that, definitely. You can just tell that at a glance. Oh, okay. So that's interesting because Sel left that town while it was still burning and presumably it being a relatively, you know, if things have decayed... It is hard to tell, but the surrounding wilderness has reclaimed this place. It could be 60, but if it is, this is a city with city miles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is, I mean, it was abandoned and burning and so it's decayed as much as it could. I would assume, yeah.
Cell just, I think, well, that's the thing. Yeah, there would be nothing in their head for a while. This is obviously not. Real isn't quite like, yeah, as you say, realism is a complicated construct. This is like the center of where they don't want to be, which means it is likely something that their psyche has constructed or has been constructed from rather than, you know, being plumped there out of all the places in the world.
Might as well sightsee while we're here. A walk towards the sea, I think. OK. See what's going on in the docks. That's where you see the first body. Now, that would be strange, because is it skeletal? Like, is this a fossil? I'd really love to answer you, but I'm afraid I do have another call on the line. Brin, hey. Hey, Brin, hey. You find yourself phasing in to pitch darkness.
but it's comfy. Please give me a perception check. You're in bed. You open your eyes. Congratulations, you hit the safety seat. You're alone, but very safe. 34 on the perception check. 34. You know where you are. You're in a theatre and the lights are off. Oh, no. You recognise the smells. You recognise this is a seat. This is a theatre seat. You recognise the acoustics. You're in a seemingly empty and dark theatre. A large one. A very large one. I reach out to the seats either side of me and see if there's anyone in them.
There is. They do not appear to be moving. Oh, dear. Hamid takes a very deep breath. Hamid is going to attempt to cast Dancing Lights. Okay. He is going to attempt to do it in as subtle a way as possible and have the lights blink into existence, you know, far enough away from him that he's not the obvious centre of the spell, which I believe will require a spellcraft check. So give me that spellcraft check then. 20 exactly. Cool. That is sufficient. That's good. I rolled a three. You know that you've done everything correct.
A blinding bright light appears directly in front of you, dazzling you for a moment. It is a spotlight. It is not the spell that you just cast. Oh, dear. There's a figure stood in the centre of the spotlight. What? Where the spotlight is pointed. Upon the stage. Oh, I thought you implied the spotlight was upon me. OK, that's fine. No, no, no, sorry. It is blinding, but it's not on you. It is on the stage. And as your eyes adjust, there is a person stood upon the stage. Who is it, Alex? Who is it, Alex? It's a person you recognise. Alex? It's Aziza. And she's looking directly at you.
She's in her performance gear, as you last saw her. Hamid swallows heavily. She doesn't look happy to see you. Oh, no! Hello? I risk a very quick eye flicker to either side. If there's enough reflected light from the spotlight, I should be able to get a sense of what was in the chairs next to me now. Seems to be a static and well-dressed audience. I stand up out of my seat. She speaks loud enough for you to hear. Again, everyone, it's definitely silent in there. You bother to come back, then?
I'm going to jump across to Zulf. Hello. Zulf, you were last time I checked in trying to dig your way through the top using the glaive, yes? Yeah, give it a go. You start making good progress, but as you continue you start finding heavier and larger rocks behind until eventually you're led to the conclusion this isn't really going to work. It doesn't quite scan though because you heard a small rock fall up ahead and you've encountered at first what seemed to be small but a huge cave-in. Those two facts are completely incongruous. They don't make sense.
All right. Not trapped down here. The tapping back the way you came has gotten a bit louder. Okay. It's slow. It's not quick. Not trapped down here. There's something going on. This is fine. Gonna be fine. Okay. Right.
turn around and go towards the tapping because I just need more information. That's fine. As you continue towards the tapping, it starts to get a bit louder and then you quickly find a side passage that you can't believe you missed when you first went up this way. The tapping seems to be coming from there. It's narrower. It seems crudely constructed versus the shaft that you've been in. The shaft that you're in has large wooden shoring. It has everything. This seems to have a narrower, almost like someone's working a natural crack into something more. It shouldn't be here based on a mine as you understand it. Okay.
Okay, right. No, that's... It's fine. This is probably the best option. And I'm gonna... Who's that? Is this the voice I recognise? It is. Sulf. No, no, it's not. No, no, no. The tapping starts increasing and digging more rapidly. Sulf left. Sulf left. Tap, tap, tap, tap. It's just the voices. You ignore the voices. You keep going. You keep digging. You keep digging. That's how you get out. Keep digging. Farron? You just keep digging. That's how you get out. You just keep digging. Do you want to think about it? You just keep digging. That's how you do it. Farron, I need you to stop digging and come out. I know it's not you, Sulf.
Zulf left. Yeah, well, seems like Zulf is back, so I need you to come out. The tapping kind of accelerates, and then you hear Zulf. Clearly, like, he dropped it or stubbed his thumb or something. You start hearing something shuffling sort of closer towards your corner, and slowly, like, seems to be moving very slow, very dragging, and a shape starts to resolve itself at the edge of your darkvision. It is Ferrin, and Ferrin appears to have...
Been here a long time. Tatty clothing, the tools that he's carrying on his belt appear beaten up, slightly rusted. He has sort of matted hair. It's someone who's been down here a long time. Yep. I'm quite wise. Is Farron wearing his ring? Yes. Great. This isn't real. Fine. Because I'm wearing his ring, so that's... Yeah, fine. Farron? Zulf, is that really you, Zulf? Uh... Yes? Sure. Um... What are you doing here, Zulf? You left. You left me here. It's been a long time, Zulf. You look good. How long have you been down here for?
Don't know. Long time. Yeah, without food? Well, no, there was boxes and that. I've had to ration, of course. You look well, though. Healthy. Yeah, you... Alright, look, at this point, I don't know what's going on here. So, but you're... Look, this is not... This isn't... I say real world. What is the real world? But this isn't... Look, you're probably dead.
Well, no, I'm here. No, you... If I'm dead, you're dead. No, well, maybe. I don't know. But you died, and you were crushed by a lot of rocks, and I took this whole... Hold my hand up. I took this ring off of the only piece of you that we were able to find. I didn't... No, no, no, no, no. The rocks came down, yeah. And then I was yelling. So how am I wearing this? Oh, he was yelling. How am I wearing this? How am I wearing this? How am I wearing this? Well, yeah, I mean, that's my question. Let me put it another way. You're saying I'm not real? I say you're not real. Where's that leave us?
I'm saying that you left me. Philosophical is where it leaves us. How much family resemblance? Look, Ferran, I don't know what's going on here. I don't know if this is a hell for you. I know why I'm here. I'm here because you left me here. Why are you here? I'm here because I was trapped down here and you said that we were there for each other and then you left me here. You left me down here alone. Ferran, I'm sorry, but I've spent a long time feeling like that and I...
Well, I mean, it would be a lie to say I don't anymore. We don't care how you feel. We care about what you did. And what you did, you left me here. And you did not do what you said. You said you had my back and you left me here alone. And I have been waiting for you so that you could come here so that I could tell you that. Ferrin, I did more than that. I killed you. Well, then how am I here? I mean, yeah, exactly. The question here is, are we in an afterlife? Are you, I don't know, a reflection of my own psyche back on me? But everything you're saying, yeah, it's true. I didn't come back for you. And I caused your death, like...
If you're trying a guilt trip, you've got to up your game. Fabulous. I'm going to use that as a segue. Thank you very much, Ben. Really appreciate it. That played out exactly as I expected. Very, very happy. From that, then, I am going to segue to Cell. I believe you were someone who saw a body, yes? Yep. Who's the body, Alex? Oh, you can tell. A skeletal. Right. Cell. Give me knowledge, nature. Yeah, that's... Ooh. Now we're back in business. That is 19 plus 16.
35? Yeah. Okay, yeah, cool. You can descend quite a lot just at a glance. One. Yeah. Nope.
okay, a skeleton takes a certain amount of time to come along. That's fine. This is in a perfect pose, which means no elements have affected it, no high tides have come along, no animals have come along, there's no sign of, like, clothing, because clothing deteriorates at different rates to, you know, flesh, etc. There's no signs of dirt disturbance on the ground which would reflect, like, long-term putrefaction or anything like that. That's cool. Odd, though, it is definitely a real skeleton, as far as you can tell. That is a real skeleton, but it can't be what it seems to be because that's impossible. Yeah, let me, Alex, given this is maybe the only chance in my life to probably role-play Temperance Brennan.
Can I tell sex, age, and species, as in elf, human, et cetera? Now, knowledge nature doesn't quite work like that to the level of you having medical expertise. I want to be a forensic anthropologist, Alex! You can tell the following, because you've got quite high, actually, on knowledge nature. That is an elvish skeleton. Yeah. You would guess female. Yeah, so these things are always within ranges, but yeah, yeah. You would guess female. In terms of how long it's been there, though, you have a bit of a problem, because would you like to know how long that skeleton looks like it's been there, based on...
The context or the skeleton? The skeleton appears to have been there at least 60 years. The context, I don't know, a week? Max? Yeah, what I'm enjoying is that, like, Zolf is wise, Sel is not, but Sel is intelligent. So Sel is looking at this as an analytical problem, right? Like, there is no way that in New Greenwich, as it was left burning, that an elvish skeleton would be here in this situation. There's no emotional attachment here in such a way. Like, there's no person this could be.
sort of mumbles to themselves. I mean, there's a few people that died that... I mean, they died because of the megafauna coming, so they wouldn't be here just lying like they... It's like someone laid out a skeleton for me to find. Who is this supposed to be? Give me a perception check. Okay. Ooh. That is... 24. Okay, I'm going to give you two facts then. One, they seem to be, if your guess is correct, and given what you're just concluding out loud, they seem to be trying... seem to have been trying to make their way to...
your lab. A second thing that you notice, though, is you hear a distant ringing. Like a bell? Like a bell, yeah. Slowly chiming further along the, well, basically further along the beach. So, I mean, I suppose, like, I mean, Ma would have known that my stuff would have been left here, so maybe if she told someone, someone could have come to loot, because, I mean, some of the stuff I've made, and they're mumbling to themselves as they're walking towards where the bell's ringing. Okay.
Very, very quickly you turn a, I was going to say a corner, yeah, beaches, well known for their corners, beaches. You cross a bluff, let's say, you bring in a new stretch of shoreline to view. There is a wrecked ship upon the beach. Is it the ship that their fiancé left New Greenwich in? Yes. There are a few more skeletons near the vessel in various poses. This is a comprehension kind of exercise. Yeah, I walk towards this and say, like, what? Why would you come back? What the?
begin to jog to get there quicker. There's quite a few skeletons surrounding the vessel. As you draw near, they all appear to have fallen where they were sat or whatever. They appear to be sharing a meal. Cell does what I'm doing right now, which is, like, massage their forehead and, like, frown intensely. Like, okay, whoever's made this, doing this to me, and they are shouting without any caution to being heard by any VCs around or enemies. Like, I'm just going to need more clues about what I'm supposed to feel because this doesn't make any sense. Like, why would they come back? They were fleeing?
They were fleeing, and I know they didn't come straight back because it took me time to bury the bodies of the people that were left, right? Like, I was here for a while. They did not come back. There is no reason that they would come back, right? You hear the sound of fluttering paper. Oh, cool. Someone has sent a clue. You perceive. You get this off the last roll, don't worry about it. One of them appears slumped over something that they were writing.
As you say the word clues, you notice this. It's not it spontaneously appears. Oh, okay, great. How suspiciously convenient. Interdimensional psyche. Please don't make me back here. Like, I left. I left. Like, they're okay. They just let me believe that they left.
Don't do this. Picks up the bit of paper. Thanks for the clue, but do I... OK. You know I'm curious. You, me, me. If this is me, I hate me. You know I'm curious. You know I won't stop. But you also know that I'm not going to sit here and wallow in guilt until I know what is happening. Do you look at what's on the paper? Yes. It's ciphered. Right, OK. Shall I roll to work that out? Just a raw intelligence check? Or linguistics. All linguistics. If you've got it. Yes. Not much training in it, though. Only enough to talk a lot. Nice, nice. Ooh, 24.
So you put your mind to the task. It's a nice distraction. It's something that is tangible that can be worked on and dealt with. It's a fun little cipher. It takes a moment and then you recognise it. This is a cipher that you used to play around with with Hayley. And the second you realise that, it's very easy to basically almost on the fly decrypt what's written and it's a diary entry. Right, again, suspiciously useful. What does it say? Day 37. Still no sign. I have to keep looking.
I am going to jump to Brinicus Maximus, otherwise known as Hamid in a Giant Horrible Theatre. You are currently stood surrounded by a static audience looking at a disapproving sister. Well, not disapproving, disappointed sister. Well, I... Wait, what? Come back? But this isn't... What? Why are you here, Hamid? I have no idea. This... I'm surprised you could even show your face. This doesn't seem entirely real. What? Where exactly are we? What?
What was the last interaction we had from your perspective? So it was that unimportant to you, you didn't even bother to remember the details? So, I don't think we got here from the same places. I think we might be outside of time, or maybe in an illusion. Would you come off here, Hamid, please? Sure, okay. Presumably you do so. Yeah, I politely pass through all the other people and head off onto stage. As you start looking at all the other people, you realise they're not actually people.
They're just very well-crafted mannequins. This isn't Magnus, Alex. I was just thinking that. They're all still, they're not moving or whatever, but they're just well-crafted mannequins, every single one. As I'm walking up the aisle towards the stage, I reach down to my side and just try very gently to see if my bag of holding opens. It does not. Good test, though. I'm actually quite impressed. Very good. Also, Hamid is so much calmer than I would expect. Well done, Hamid. I mean, he's processed a lot. He's come to terms with some of his past trauma.
Aziza, it's really nice to see you. Is it? Well, from my perspective, you're dead, and I didn't think I would ever get to see you again, so yes. Why am I dead, Hamid? I mean... I think we're both here for the same reason, don't you? I don't know why I'm here, so I don't know what that reason might be. Let's go through it. She sits down and pats the stage next to her. I'll sit down with her. How are you doing? Seems to me that I'm here because you let me die. It seems to me that if I'm here for that reason, you're probably here for that reason as well. I mean...
No, Aziza. This will always be one of the worst days of my life. Losing you was... Of your life? Awful. But I didn't let you die. I went up, more or less solo, against one of the most powerful wizards to ever exist, and he took away my ability to act. This...
I wish something could have been different. I wish so much that I could have done more, but I did the best I could. There's a lot in my life I regret. There's a lot of mistakes I've made, but... Because trying hard is enough.
Yes. The world doesn't care about how hard you try. It cares whether you do or you don't, and you did not. I know that, Aziza. But that doesn't mean you stop trying, and it doesn't mean you berate yourself for the times where the best you could do wasn't enough. So what, you're just over me then? Really? Never. Never. How could you think that? Of course I'm not. I think about you every single day. But that doesn't mean... She starts to cry. Oh, Aziza. Then why didn't you do more? If you care that much, you should have done more when you could. I...
I wish so fervently that there were possibilities, and I'm so sorry. I throw my arms round her and bring her in for a hug. I am going to use that to segue across to Helen. Okay, all right. Strap in. I'm strapped. So, Helen, you were approaching a large sort of ruined building, correct, up the hill? Yes. You start to recognise the avenue that you're walking up. Uh-huh. It does have a certain Roman vibe, but it is bigger. It does look worse off. Gosh. It's like someone hit the ruins of ancient Rome's catastrophic collapse.
With a stick. You continue to make your way up. Yeah, you recognise where you are. You've been here before. And then before you realise it, you're stood facing a very familiar chamber. Is it the chamber that the gate spell was in? Yeah, actually. The gate spell's not there, though. It looks to be closed. Good. Oh, but there is someone there. Who's the someone, Alex? They're quite short. That was not meant to be an impression, but... They don't seem to have noticed you're there yet. As who says? Grizzop? Grizzop turns round.
Oh, it's you. Yes, it's me and it's you. Hi, hello. What are you doing here? I don't know. I don't... Hmm. Well, I'm not dead because Aphrodite isn't here. And you would be with Artemis, so... You think so? But I'm here, aren't I? Huh. Yeah, well, you were very devout to Artemis, so yes, you should be with her, so I don't know why you're here. Well, Artemis is with me. And he picks up his bow and the arrow lights on fire and he fires it at your feet.
And the burning arrow sticks into the ground, like, next to your foot. Interesting. Azu's going to try and pick it up. Can she do that? Is that fine? Unless I'm mistaken, Ben. You'd be able to pick up the arrow, but... Yeah, it's just an arrow. It's like the attack is augmented by the thing, but once you've shot, it's like it's just an arrow. There's no magic there or anything like that. It's just an arrow as soon as you touch it. Yeah, yeah, it's a normal arrow, which is in power, so... Okay, Azu's picking it up to check that it's actually real and she can interact with it. It's real, but we've had this before, haven't we? Remember? I was always able to talk to Artemis. You know, because I'm good at what I do. Yeah, you are. Apparently your connection's a bit fritzy, isn't it? Well, that's not really...
My fault. That's what Rome's like. All right, well, go on. Call Aphrodite now. Prove it. I'll keep calling Artemis, and he'll be fine, because I've got faith. But do you? Yes. Really? Because if you had faith, maybe you wouldn't have let go. Oh. That is not fair. Isn't it? Because I'm trapped here. Now, because of you. We can talk about what's fair and what's not, but what happened is I'm here, where now you are. Maybe you just got what you deserved. Oh, and that is an owl.
Sorry, Helen. I forgot how mean Grizzop can be. Sorry, Helen. it's so much better to give you the hammers to hit each other with oh god I gotta brief this is not Ben as a player character this is Ben as a puppet this is Ben as my champion challenging Helen to emotional single combat on my behalf well I'm gonna win right well I want to know what's gonna happen next we have the luxury of being able to play straight after this whilst everyone else has to wait thank you for facilitating my evil Ben we'll see more of it next week sorry strap in and apologies it's not nice but sometimes it has to go this way look after yourselves and we'll see you all next week yeah sorry bye Thanks for listening.
Hello and welcome to episode 188 of the Rustic World Gaming Podcast. I'm your host and GM and... I saw Ben's face, I know. I'm not allowed to look at Ben's face when I do the intro. Because if I look at Ben's face, the intro goes wrong. That's on me. I know that Ben can't help himself. He's not responsible for his actions. I should not have looked.