Ryan Soave — Embracing Discomfort, Overcoming Mental Blocks, and Unlocking Creative Growth (#79)

About Ryan SoaveRyan Soave is a healthcare executive, therapist, coach, and speaker with over 14 years of experience in mental health consulting and counseling. Ryan has dedicated his career to guiding individuals navigating personal and professional challenges. His work spans one-on-one coaching, leadership consulting, and trauma-informed therapy, helping people unlock deeper self-awareness and achieve their best work.In this episode, Ryan discusses his experiences with therapy and coaching, offering a practical framework for overcoming creative blocks, facing discomfort, and making progress in both work and life. He shares insights on how unconscious patterns shape decision-making, why emotional resilience is key to success, and how becoming more self-aware can transform personal and professional growth. Whether you’re a designer, entrepreneur, or simply someone striving for a more fulfilling life, Ryan’s wisdom provides invaluable tools to help you move forward.Ah-ha! Justin’s Takeaways* Embracing Discomfort as a Path to Growth: Ryan shared a game-changing perspective: the ability to sit with discomfort is what separates those who grow from those who stay stuck. We often try to avoid tough emotions, seeking distractions instead of facing what really needs to be addressed. Whether in creativity, business, or personal development, pushing through discomfort is what leads to breakthroughs. This hit home for me—some of my biggest successes, both in game design and entrepreneurship, only happened because I was willing to step into uncertainty rather than run from it.* The Power of Clear Goals and Intentions: One of the most eye-opening moments in our conversation was Ryan’s emphasis on setting specific, actionable goals. He pointed out that broad ambitions like “I want to be happy” or “I want to be successful” are too vague to be useful. Just like in game design, where clear objectives improve player experience, defining concrete aims in life helps eliminate frustration and keeps you on track. The clearer the target, the more likely you are to hit it.* Your Past Does Not Define Your Future: Ryan reframed trauma in a way that stuck with me—not just as major life events but as unconscious habits and strategies we develop that may no longer serve us. How often do we cling to outdated mindsets simply because they once worked? Whether in creativity, leadership, or personal relationships, we all have automatic responses shaped by our past. The key is recognizing when those responses are holding us back and having the courage to rewrite the script.Show Notes“We're helping people be able to lean into discomfort.” (00:07:01)Ryan explains that therapy isn’t about making people feel good all the time—it’s about teaching them how to handle discomfort in a productive way. Too often, people avoid difficult emotions, which only reinforces their fears and anxieties. By embracing discomfort instead of running from it, we create the opportunity for growth. This lesson applies directly to game design, where pushing through creative blocks, iterating on ideas, and facing criticism during playtests (and after the game’s release) are all inevitable parts of the process.“You’re not lazy. You just think you’re the ultimate authority of how your time should be spent.” (00:28:15)Ryan shares a bit of wisdom from a mentor who changed his view on productivity: procrastination isn’t laziness—it’s allowing emotions to dictate actions instead of committing to long-term goals. In game design, discipline and clear objectives are essential for overcoming creative blocks and finishing projects. The magic trick? Set deadlines. Small, achievable deadlines keep you focused, help to build momentum, and push you forward.“In the moments of the biggest discomfort, I'm not going to remember why I'm doing it. I'm just going to want to walk away.” (00:46:32)Ryan describes the importance of keeping your core purpose front and center. People often lose momentum in business, relationships, or creative pursuits by focusing on immediate struggles instead of the bigger picture. Having clear, daily reminders of your “why” helps push through challenges and stay on track. A microcosm of this in game design is the core mechanic—staying focused on it ensures a cohesive experience and guides every design decision. In my episode with Steven Pressfield, we explore similar strategies for managing this discomfort, which he calls Resistance. Check it out here:“You’re not seeing the world as it is—you’re seeing it through the lens of your history.” (01:02:48)Ryan explains how past experiences can unconsciously shape how we interpret new situations. To Ryan, the key to growth is recognizing when old patterns influence our current decisions and then learning to step outside of them. Self-awareness is the first step to real change in leadership, relationships, or personal development. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit justingarydesign.substack.com/subscribe