S01E019 Money For Nothing, Chicks For Free

Move over Dire Straits and the title/song reference: it's time to really party.... with Secret Life! Woo ya. At the Juergens house, it’s business as usual: Anne is serving divorced woman in a power blazer, George is pretending the divorce is just a fun misunderstanding, Amy is passionately unemployed (she has a sausage empire as a dowry), and Ashley has once again vanished without anyone sounding the alarm.Turns out Ashley’s off hanging with mysterious new boy Thomas, who drops two bombshells: he’s homeschooled, and he’s 13 years old. It's giving Simon from 7th Heaven.Meanwhile, Anne secures jobs for both herself and Amy at the Hot Dog Hut, proving once again that if you want something done, Anne will reluctantly do it herself while everyone around her spirals.Over in Purity Culture Central™, Grace decides Adrian should become a born-again virgin, because apparently virginity now operates like a software reset. First: a pink cardigan makeover. Then: a field trip to Reverend Stone, who gently suggests Adrian should maybe ask God for forgiveness if she’s serious about reclaiming her ✨virtue✨.Adrian absolutely entertains this idea—not for spiritual reasons, but because she’s trying to seduce her stepbrother Max through emotional wholesomeness? This show really said boundaries are optional.Meanwhile, Ben finally figures out the one thing Ricky fears more than feelings: financial responsibility. Ben is a total Chad for like 0.2 seconds. Hooray! At Adrian’s house, Ricky attempts one last seduction, only to be thwarted by Max arriving with a literal teddy bear and healthy emotional communication. And then… a shocking development:Someone flirts with Anne Juergens.An architect named David [Skipper!! From SATC!!!] gives Anne a job lead and his phone number, and suddenly she’s glowing in a way George absolutely cannot handle. After a full episode of denial, George realizes—oh no—Anne might actually move on.