S1 E07: The Healing Process--Why It's Confusing & Ideas That Help. Elise Schuster & Val Koutmina unpack questions raised by Hope Singsen's play SKIN

Sex educator, relationship advisor & co-founder of iOS advice app, okayso.app, Elise Schuster, and Valeria Koutmina of The Art Therapy Project use the Festival performance of Hope Singsen's solo play with music, SKIN, as a jumping off point to consider common questions about the healing process.Along the way, Elise and Val share professional perspectives as Hope offers examples from personal life as well as within her play, SKIN, to illuminate: Why it takes so dang long to recover from impacts of sexual violenceWhy it can be confusing to recognize these impacts Why it's often hard to know how "healed" we really are, and what to expect from the healing processWhy it takes time to change behaviors after they’re set, and how our assumptions about the process can make it more difficult Ways that sexual trauma can create challenges around identity, shame, safety, trust, sex itself, learned helplessness, self-doubt, and an impression our bodies are vehicles for pain How our cultural ideas about sexuality can get in the way for survivors and non-survivors alikeHow practicing saying no can lead us to feel more empowered and safe to say yesHow we work hard to be ok, but feel as if we are “broken” and needing to be "fixed," which contributes to a feeling of helplessness -- even as we feel we have to present ourselves as unharmedHow nonverbal art-making within a therapeutic relationship can help because it works in the same parts of the brain where trauma was originally storedThe grief and loss that needs to be acknowledged as we learn to tolerate the feelings -- taking breaks and bringing humor into itWhy relapse is part of recovery and can help you practice changing your perspective from “I am this” to understanding “I do this,” which gives us more space to change what Brenee Brown calls “the story we are telling ourselves” Ideas to help practice new ways of healing, like:Cultivating self-compassion instead of self-blame and helplessnessRecognizing that the healing process doesn’t make rational sense, and celebrating strengths that emerge, like the ability to reach out for helpTaking breaks to put aside the work and feelings sometimes to get some distanceThe #HealMeToo Podcast is hosted by Hope Singsen--the artist, creativity researcher and survivor-activist who founded the #HealMeToo Festival in NYC this Spring. On the episode details page for this interview, you'll find Elise and Val's biographies and links to okayso and The Art Therapy Project. You'll also find a page with videos of many performances at the Festival, and can join our email list to hear about future pop-up #HealMeToo Festival events.Soon, we'll also drop audio and video excerpts from Hope's performance of SKIN in the #HealMeToo Festival.Subscribe now. Let's talk about how we can #HealMeToo.Find the #HealMeToo Podcast on Apple Podcasts at bit.ly/hm2pod. Or visit healmetoopodcast.com to find links to other platforms. Interview recorded & prepped by Delaney HafenerEdited by Hope SingsenMusic performed by Micah Burgess: If I Can by Hope Singsen & Dillon KondorRockabye by Hope Singsen, Dillon Kondor & Micah BurgessGorgeous Fire by Hope Singsen & Dillon KondorSupport the show