In our last episode, the party continued to explore Riverbottom, an abandoned cobaltown, which is being maintained by strange automatons. Our adventurers today are Keerin who plays Whalen the Barbarian, Excuse me, all the cheesy angel. Max who plays Playster the Monk. It's nice to help people.
Duh. Theron who plays David Druid, he wants to cuddle with a big frog and RDM Hazel. Playster is waiting for the magic, but what are you two doing? Welcome, Miller Trappers, the Legends of Jail.
So you open up this house and you step inside and you find yourself in a living room. Alright. There are three doors to other rooms in here. The living room does have one that's fitted like much of any of the other ones.
There's a couch and chair and a glass screen along one wall. I guess I'll just try the closest door and take a peek inside that room. Okay, are you going show me which door? You know what, let's go with that one.
Okay, you walk into that room and it is a small kitchen. On the counter is a book. Oh, that's the book. So the book has a title that's written in electronic, but it also has one that's written in common.
That says secret recipes. Oh, can let me take a peek and see if any of the recipes are in common. You look inside the book and it seems to be in common. There is a title page and you can read everything on it.
Two of the notable things because they're the only ones that came up with are enemy lasagna. Enemy lasagna and rose free pie. That's like free of roses or is that like a name like rose free? Like I don't know, wind free.
They're in there. Okay, so two words free of roses is what the pie is. Everything else with no roses. Okay, I will take that with me, I guess.
Maybe gonna have a day look at that. It seems a little weird for me. An enemy lasagna sounds like a very useful recipe for an adventurer. I'm a little scared of what that is, but...
Lasagna that you make out of your enemies after you've started them. Or is it lasagna you give to your enemies to kill them? I'm sure it would be clear based on the recipe itself. That's true, but I'm not gonna bother to read that day.
Four cups of the enemy. This sounds like some non-standard recipes. I'm a pretty standard recipe kind of person, but I think they might be into this. It stays really in the books.
Are there any plates in the kitchen? Yes. Can I attempt to spin two plates one on each of my horns? Oh, you're not.
You may make that attempt. Well, I gotta practice. Or else it's not worth telling you. Okay, yeah, yeah.
Make me an acrobatics check with a disadvantage because you're trying to spin two plates I want to start out with. Ah, damn. I was like, yes, acrobatics. And then it's like, oh, shot me self in the foot.
I got a 14 with that disadvantage. Okay, you get the first plate spinning and then you start the second one, but that one goes wobbly and hits the other plate. One of the plates crashes to the ground, breaking, and you managed to catch the other one. Alright, I will take the remaining one with me, I guess then.
And I will just show you guys that I can do it with one horn. Alright, next, let's check this corner room here. In that room, it's a bedroom. There is a double bed in there and a dresser and it seems mostly devoid of anything interesting.
I want to rifle through the dresser and see if there's any valuables or anything. Okay. Investigation or perception? Investigation.
That's a 16. Oh, not too bad. You find one silver piece. Alrighty.
Got lost back there in one of those drawers and they didn't notice it when they left. With fun draconic minting. I'm going to look under the bed real quick too. You can look under the bed.
There's nothing really interesting there. Some dust and webs and stuff. If there's another pillow, I will take another pillow. Okay, you can take another pillow.
Cool. Alright, I will check the last room. Okay, you open up the door to the last room. It looks like a child's room.
There's a single person bed and there is a desk that you see like this like flashing light coming off of it with something embedded in it and there is another dresser. Alright. Like there in Astrus in the child's bedroom. Are there any good toys?
In this room, no. Okay. No, I'm afraid not. You're all balled out.
Yeah, let me take a look at that blinking light on the desk. Okay, so there seems to be a basically a tablet embedded in this desk. The screen is pulsing a bit and it's like it's a bit broken. Like there are bits of fragmented different colored light, but it seems to be somewhat functional.
Is it like removable or is it permanently embedded in the desk? You could remove it I guess, but it's not designed to be removed. Oh, oh yeah. It would be too hard to remove it.
It's got like some wooden trim around it. That's probably what is holding it down. I was just thinking like, could I take it with me and like it be usable, but it sounds like it would be pretty broken if I did that before I try to interact with that. I want to rifle through the desk drawers real quick.
Can I be rolling up on this house by now? Since I just like walked in got sick and yeah, you can be rolling up on the house. I ran sack of child's bedroom. You don't find anything in these in these desks or drawers.
I will tentatively touch the blinking screen. Okay. Day you walk in as Playstra is touching the screen. You notice that Playstra is holding another pillow and also has a book of some sort.
Okay. Oh, a book. And a plate. And a plate as they touch the screen.
You look weird. I got to say. Ah, oh, hi day. Scared me.
Don't sneak up on me like that. I got, you know, the I got these reflexes. I'm a whole body is a deadly weapon. You're not going to punch me.
What's going on? No, I'm nervous. You touch the screen and some text shows up. Like I said, the screen is kind of fragmented and displaying weird, but you can mostly read what it says.
I want practices. Human tongue. So can fake human tongue. Stupid's dislike stupid sound.
Cobalt on good dislike bake adult cobalt food gross. Never eating of it. Always eating meat. Raw me.
Parents stupid stupid secret book stupid secret bake. It's a stupid is a really hard word to make. I'm sorry. Stupid's stupid's bake fight with adult cobalt live near home.
Parent no like sass me. Say sass bad. Fake good. I don't know if I can do it without laughing.
It's like 10 words left. Fake good says parent so fake good. Whatever says me. Wait though, how do the only scrap of common left is this?
And book. And the book. Well, because they were supposed to learn common to read the book. I don't know.
I want to know. I want to read this. But now parents, now they're parent, like their parent gets to be common. It's like my fucking mom wants me to learn French so I can go to cooking school and I hate it.
I guess after reading that, police will say I think this is the book and hand it to day. So take a look at the book. Okay. There is one recipe that is legible in it.
I thought that the recipe is two recipes that I named. One recipe that I made. Okay. Yeah.
So this is the recipe for Rose Free Pie. Rose Free Pie. One melon. One pumpkin.
One quarter. Enemy lasagna. Just the most beautiful enemy for Sagnan. Two ounces of raisins.
One ounce baking tinsel. Baking tinsel. Carve out a melon. Throw gross mush out.
Carve out a pumpkin. Throw gross mush out. Mash melon and pumpkin together. Fill a pie plate with mixture.
Just mash something. Turn. Turn baker. Up to third and blind bake for 10 minutes.
Stuff. I feel like I started out almost sounding like Gordon Ramsay. I don't know. I got a David Attenborough vibe.
Stuff with pie. Plenty of lasagna. Then cover the top with remaining mixture. Bake for 10 minutes.
And you've got the most beautiful Rose Free Pie. You absolute fucking mopit. What are we doing? No, yes, there is more.
Sorry. Top with wrinkled raisins and tinsel. Do not decorate with a rose. The pie is rose free.
For 15 minutes. You made Rose Free Pie. It's like someone took a shit post in another language and ran it through Google Translate. I'm glad you feel that way.
It's also based off of a ween song. I see. Wow. These things like weird food.
Interesting. I don't know. The kid did not like the stupid food. They were writing their recipes in common.
This seems like based on what we have of a cobold writing in common, a cobold wrote this in common. So it's not originally a book in common that they had to read. They were writing this book too. They were writing it in common to keep it secret because it was called secret recipes, right?
Oh my God. So in draconic, it probably says like definitely not secret recipes or some shit like that. Oh my God. I knew we I'm like I'm so close to understanding this, but I'm not there.
I'm glad somebody figured it out. It feels like they were just like making fun of humans in the common language and with this whole book and set up because like apparently the cobolds like to do it. To eat meat and this is melon and pumpkin rind like it's not good. Well the adults apparently have a more refined palate.
Now I want to know what the enemy lasagna one is because apparently you have to make that first. Yeah. All right. Well, this place makes no sense.
I think we can carry on. We won't do not. It's just because it's a different culture with a different language, you know, it doesn't mean that it's like weird or wrong or bad and as police say that is just police is giving this lecture. They are slowly raising that plate up to their horn and have started spinning it.
It's only an acrobatics check. That's an eight. Yeah, you reach out to spin it on your horn and you're moving a little too forcefully and you just kind of break it over the top. Yeah.
I just said that it doesn't make sense much like whatever you just attempted to do. We're not talking about that anymore. Anyway, where we're going to sleep tonight guys? We're sleeping gang.
We should probably sleep in one of these houses. Yes. You know, reason not to let's look at that first. I called the big bed.
No, I'm big. I need the big bed. Fine. I want to find a nice big like piece of fabric.
I'm going to make a hammock in the tree house. You want my cape? No, no, you can keep your cape. Okay.
I'll try to find something else to make it like a nice little hammock. You can definitely do that. Day and play should be both sleep in big beds if they wanted to, just not in the same house. Yeah, if we're going to go to a completely different house then I'll just find a big bed somewhere.
Yeah, you both probably need big beds anyway because they're... Cool, but yeah. I might want to shove some bits together. I'm sorry, why are we all sharing a bed now?
We're not. Oh, okay. We find suitable sleeping arrangements, rest, and we move on the next morning. Provided the drones don't try to kill us on our sleep.
Never fix us. You do not get killed in your sleep. It might be a little bit noisy outside, but... That's alright.
It probably feels really safe to be in a room that we know is not going to eat us. Okay, so you guys all went to sleep so you can heal back up and then we can be on our way. So, you guys continue following Spike, but you don't really get very far. Because shortly after you get out of town two monster fellows jump out in front of you.
Goat men like people. They're L'Ezzao. So, kind of similar to Windigos, I think. I've got pictures of Fanta because that's what I found.
Oh, they don't speak common, but they can project things into your head which means you can automatically understand them because that's how that works in this game. Mm-hmm. Hello. Hi.
Where are you going? It will. We're following this little mummified hand. This is Spike waves.
Yeah. Why? Oh, we were just wondering. We would rather you not.
So would you like us to turn around? Or would you simply like us to do a different path? What should we do with you? You just want to fight, huh?
I would just against it. Well, we probably will destroy you. Are you trying to convince them? Yes.
That was an intimidation check from somebody with advantage. Yeah. Intimidation with advantage. Okay.
I hope it's someone else who they only have a one. I also only have a one. None of us are that charming. All right.
All right. 20 total has oil and steps up and takes out a sight. They look at you and they go, all right then. Well, move along.
And they will move aside to let you pass. But as you pass by, can I get everybody to make me a constitution saving throw? Yeah. 21.
15. Six. Do your stinky and spike have to as well. I usually forget about them, but if you would like them to, we can do that.
Well, I mean, Spike is weird. Spike only got a two. Stinky got an 18. That my dog roll better than me.
Okay. Spike and Playstrah fail. And you each take four points of damage. What happens?
Actually, five points of damage. Sure. So you all walk forwards. They have a thing called rotting presents.
So anytime a creature that is not a demon starts its turn within 30 feet of one or more, that creature takes one d6 necrotic damage plus one for each belazile within 30 feet. Okay. So basically there's this kind of weird energy around them. And whenever you step near them, you can feel that kind of clinging to your skin.
And most of you are all right. But Playstrah and Spike take a little bit of a hit as you move past. Are we good? Or is like Playstrah going to go ape shit now?
No. I mean, if not like they hit me, they just, you know, being around them just really sucks. Really sucks to be around them to a point that it physically hurts me. Well, that was interesting.
Hopefully there's not more of them down the road. Whatever we could take them. Perhaps. But I guess that's a problem for future us.
So you continue onward and you start to hear the sound of moving water and the land starts getting wetter again. And actually find yourself after the confrontation with the goat man. Can I try to take off that amulet again? Oh, sure.
Wait, instead of a... Yeah, you remember that you tried to do that previously as well? Yep. So you may make another attempt.
I believe it was a wisdom saving throw. Nope. I forget real hard. Oh, yeah.
But this time we were walking down the road and you said, oh, wait, son of a bitch and tried to take off your necklace and then change your mind. And then went, yeah, and kept walking. We at least saw it this time. Yes.
Yeah. I can't guarantee that Playstrah was paying that much attention. The day was. So I'm going to go up to Wail and be like, what was that?
Poked. Certainly earlier. No? No?
It looked like you wanted to take it off and then your face went weirdly blank for a second. And you're fine now? Yeah. Yeah?
Okay. Can I? Sorry. Sometimes I start to do things and then forget to.
Can you give it to me for a sec? Can I go take it off? No, you don't really want to. No, I think it's fine.
Well, why? You don't trust me to give a back or something? We've been judging through this fucking swamp. I'm worried about it.
Hmm. I don't know why you should be. It's just a death word amulet. I've been burning for a second.
I can't. I mean, all right. Can I? I mean, nothing that I have is going to do anything.
Do I have a removed curse somewhere? Do you need me to identify it? It's been identified. Usually first objects don't.
Yeah, I know. I have to keep trying to be helpful. Yeah, no, that's even though I know it's not helpful. I'll cast the text magic.
I'll spend the slot and everything and look at it and just I'm going to touch it. You don't have to take it off. Oh, okay. I'm going to inspect it real close.
Can I get anything like any bad vibes off of it? No. What color or whatever, what kind of aura did it give off? The same as healing.
Feeling revivification or I guess it's necromantic energy technically. No, I think it's evocation, healing. Revivify is an acromancy. Yeah.
If it's revivify, then okay, necromancy. Cool, cool, cool. Okay. I step back and I shrug and I'm going to keep a closer eye on that.
But I don't think there's anything else I can do right now. Cool. And Baelyn will remember this tomorrow. Yeah.
All right. All right. Yeah. Cool.
Trying to rip it off. All right. Okay. So we'll carry on.
So the ground beneath you is getting wetter. Right. We hear running water you said? You do.
Yeah. And you start walking through or on top of in the case of Phalastra. A thin layer of water. It probably doesn't come up more than halfway up your boots.
Okay. I'm jealous but cool. Because you can't walk on top of it. Yeah.
I feel like Phalastra doesn't even realize because it's such a like thin layer of water. This is going to be lovely to be walking through all day. You see the trees thinning out around you. And the speed of the water starts picking up a bit and you come into a clearing.
I want to pick up Spike. Okay. I'm just worried about him being in the water because he's little and you said that it sound like the water was picking up speed. Okay.
That's fair. Spike just point away. Yeah. Spike starts pointing instead.
And you see before you there's just this big perfectly circular chasm just right in the middle of this clearing and all the water is flowing into it and down into it. Oh shit. Is this the thing? I don't think so.
It's a thing. Oh, okay. I was assuming. Yeah, that's what I meant.
Probably not. How big is this hole? Can we go around it? You can move around it.
It's pretty big though. You can see next to it that there is the remains of a broken shack. I guess the remains of a whole shack. But you know, it's broken now because it's remains.
Thanks for clarification. I don't like the remains. It's the remains of a broken shack. And before it was the remains of a broken shack.
It was the remains of a whole shack. And before that it was a whole shack. Oh, okay. Can we see the bottom of the pit?
You cannot see the bottom of the pit. If you go close enough to look down into it, the water isn't switched enough to jerk you around to the side. Okay, so I'll go to the edge and look down into the bottom of the pit. Okay, give me a perception check.
Twelve? Yeah, you can't see it to the bottom of the pit. But you see these weird black orbs down in there. Or black orbs.
Sorry, I'm having trouble not understanding what those are and they definitely wouldn't. Okay. Black orbs and water flowing down into this pit. And nothing else interesting.
Okay, so you guys continue to pass the pit. I assume. I think that's what you were doing. Yeah, I mean, I still want to jump in there.
But yeah. Eventually you managed to get yourself out of the water. And when you do, you can see in the distance this huge structure. It appears to be made out of rock or concrete.
And as you get closer, you realize that it is a dam. It is cracked and broken. And it has a few large culverts that go through it. Okay, I'm having a mild panic attack because you've used this exact description before.
Is it just that we're on the other side of this swamp now? I really hope. The last time we did the dam was when we were playing with Sarah. Oh, okay.
Cool. Cool. Yeah, yeah. Everything's fine.
Nothing is wrong. Oh, so we just decided not to go over the... Okay. Sorry.
Terrion. I just want everyone at home who doesn't know what a culver is to know that I'm trying to Google it to find out. And all I know for sure is that it's like a fast food restaurant chain. It's a culvert.
It is a tube, basically. You know how whenever you have... Oh, okay. ...have ways to have tubes that let the water flow through them?
Now that I have added the tea to the word, spelling it correctly, I now have images. My grandpa's has a place that goes under the road that has culverts running through it. That are really big that you can walk through, not quite upright. As I could, I could walk through them upright.
But so that's where I got this from, basically. Okay, sorry. So there's a big dam with culverts going through it. Is there like a way up?
Like I'm imagining some sort of structure for repairs, or we're gonna have to crawl through the culvert. There's probably a ladder leading up that is metal and embedded into the dam. I'm not sure how stable some of that would be. And there are probably like sections where the dam has cracked and near the ladder and like there are rungs missing.
But it looks like it's probably scalable. Okay. I mean, I know that I can scale it because I can turn it into something with spider climb. So I guess I'll leave it up to you too.
If you want to go through the creepy tubes or you want to try and climb the scary wall. I mean, it's easier to deal with whatever comes at you if you're on the ground. And consider it. We can't turn into a spider climb.
Probably just go through the tube. But you're both strong. You can climb the ladder. True.
But the tube is fine. Creepy tubes it is. And how we get down. Is there a ladder on the other side?
I don't know. Well, I assume that on the other side, the top is like flat with the ground. Because that's how dams work. You're right.
That is how dams work. I don't know if we can try going up there first. Actually, you know what? I'm going to turn into a spider and scout the top of the dam.
Oh, that works. Yeah. Okay. So you climb up onto the top of the dam as a spider.
I do. And before you, you can walk a little way to the other end of the dam. It's a pretty thick dam. And you can see, okay, the culverts are supposed to get you to the other side.
Because I don't know how dams work. So it depends on what you mean by a dam. And like, I could argue that they're like a hydroelectric thing, but they're just culverts. So what you see is that this dam looks like it was in the middle of a river lakebed thing.
The edges are attached to land, but the other side just kind of goes back down again. And you can see in the distance this big, tall black figure. A figure. Like a person?
A person? Like a giant bird? A person. It looks like you've encountered this creature before.
Oh, shit. There is a what is it called? A night walker, night stalker. I think it's night something stalker.
Night mamas. First time you threw this at us. It was like a few days after I'd read that damn book in something monster. So I was like, you fucker.
I know exactly what that is. I have night walker written down here, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily right. I'm not a real person. I can put one of these on the map.
You're not within range of it. But we are. No, that's fine. I see a big, scary thing in the distance.
Something that has hurt us before. You see one of those in the distance. It appears to be fighting something, but what it is fighting you cannot see. It seems to be smaller than it is.
So you're at a big enough distance and there are still trees and stuff that you can't tell what it is fighting. Okay. Well, what does the terrain look like? When I get to the top of the dam, is it flat on either side?
Is there a river that used to be a big deal and isn't? Is there a lake? It's pretty flat. It's wooded, of course, but the land seems pretty flat.
And it looks like where the night walker is. There is a clearing. All right. Which is part of the reason you can see them so easily.
Yeah, because they're tree sized, not taller. Okay. All right, I will. Well, on my way down, can I sort of give the ladder a quick inspection and make sure it's climbable?
Reinforce it with spider cell. You can make an investigation check. I only got a four. Yeah, you look at over.
You are a good reader, but you've not read a lot on engineering or structural integrity stuff. And it looks okay to you. You know that there are some big gaps where they might have to jump in order to get to the next run, touching them all they seem pretty solid enough, but for the jumps, you're not sure if like it would hold with that much force. So you're just, you're not sure.
Cool. Okay. I'm going to start a pillow fight with Wayland with my end. Give him the other pillow.
Could be funnier if you just need to follow. What dual wheel. You're just going to do a wheel. He has to be able to fight back.
Soccer bopper. Soccer bopper. It's more fun than a pillow fight. Okay.
Do you want to roll a pillow fight? I don't think so. It sounds boring as fuck, but it becomes very good. I don't think so.
I'm sure Wayland will participate instead of just throwing the pillow back. I'm going to be like, you know what? Fine. Yeah.
So it launches and sell the place just swinging the pillow wildly. Wonderful. Yeah. Okay, so I come back when you come down.
Yeah. So I come back and I tell them about that scary night man that we saw before being over there fighting something. A night man? Yeah, he's like a big, tall, sort of looks like he's made of shadow.
Like tall like the size of a tree tall, not like a, you know, a seven foot tall guy. And if he gets near you, because before I think that we met him or one of his friends, if he gets near you, you get a little bit of the life sucked out of you. So we should probably avoid him. Yes, but we do have to go that general direction.
Hopefully the fight will be done by the time we get there. And I think that the latter is climbable, but there are some big gaps that you'd have to jump. So if you think just walking through the culverts easier, we can do that. I'm just worried about spooky things that live in holes.
I mean, I can jump. I'm a monkey. I got the acrobatics and all that. I can try.
You got wings that don't work. But you have wings. You've retested them. They're just skeletal wings.
I know. Pretty sure you need feathers. But they're magic. I don't have to fly.
I think that's how that works. Bugs don't have feathers and they fly. You do have fly casts on them. Don't have feathers.
Magic carpets fly. They don't have feathers, usually. I'm pretty sure bird wings need feathers to fly. How do you know they're bird wings?
Maybe they're dragon wings. Dragon wings have a membrane. I got nothing. You got bones.
So you don't know what those bones are from. You got bones. Okay. Bones.
Okay. Bones. Okay. Bones.
Okay. Bones. Okay. Bones.
Bones. Okay. I got a little bit of extra in white line. Oh, strength checks.
Okay. Athletics. Athletics. Athletics.
Alright. I got 13. So you both start climbing. And who's climbing up first?
Mwahlan. Okay. I don't want him in a door to fall on my face. I wouldn't want him to fall on your face either.
But that's a good point. Yeah. Like you can go first if you want. I don't care.
It really doesn't matter to me. And day is like halfway up the wall making annoyed spider noises. And we're just both sitting there. Oh, you first.
You first. You first. Stomping all over feet. Okay.
Fine. I'll come. And then it starts climbing. Okay.
So, Latelyn climbs up. And you get to one of those spots where you're going to have to jump. And you reach up and you jump. And you grab onto the run.
But you can't quite hold it in your finger's lips. Can I get you to make me a dexterity saving throw? Sure. 19.
Okay. That's good. So you fall a little bit, but you manage to catch yourself on one of the runs lower down. And it jerks you around pretty bad and it hurts.
Let's. I'll give you one point of damage, I guess, as you kind of skin your hands and jerk your shoulders down onto your shoulders, which is not great. Oh. So that was that attempt.
What are you doing now? I'll sit there for a second and try one more time. Sounds like Latelyn's. Okay.
Make another strength check or athletics. 19. Yeah, you've got it that time. Yeah.
Yeah, you climb the rest of the way up and you can join day at the top. Play Straw, are you climbing after watching Wayland's fall? Heck yeah, I'm climbing. Okay.
Well, the same thing happens to you. You can do a dexterity saving throw to try to catch yourself or you can just use your feather fall. So far. Yeah, the slow fall thing.
Yeah. Okay. So you can slow fall and then like grab onto a rung and you can try again if you want. Sure.
Strength or athletics. Yep. And that's a 25. That'll do it.
So yeah. You all make it up to the top of the dam. And you can see the night walker in the distance. And you can see that there is another ladder leading down on the side.
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