Content warning in this episode for body horror. In our last episode, the party had to get to Queen Marguins Temple, so they hired an Uber, I mean, a Rayboo, I mean, a Rayboo Tiffle. Their driver, Joaquin, talked to their ear off, and then they had an encounter with Playster's date from the previous night. Our adventurers today are Kieran, who plays Waylon the Barbarian, Excuse me, I tease an angel, huh?
Max, who plays Playster the Monk. It's nice to help people, duh. Theron, who plays Day the Druid, nobody wants to cuddle with a big frog, and our DM Hazel. Playster's waiting for the magic, what are you two doing?
Welcome, fellow travelers, to Legends of Chow. Playster's time, buckle up, alright, let's keep going, before they change their minds. There'll be someone for you, somewhere. I don't want to talk about it, Waylon.
I don't want to talk about it, buddy. I don't want to talk about it. No one wants to talk to me about it this morning. Sorry.
Alright, I guess we'll get going, and guess I won't talk about it. Try not my mind, it won't talk about it. You're fine, you're fine, walking. Alright, alright, we'll keep going, we'll go, no problem.
We'll get going, and I won't talk about it. Within like 10 minutes, walking in Blaeshire, having a deep heart to heart about it, and the others were just sitting there like, ugh. Aw, that's where... You all continue flying on for a while, and you've been flying for a long time.
You see this structure in the distance, and walking in kind of an audience more towards it. There we are, there's our stop for the night. Kind of a creepy looking place I know about never having trouble there. And yeah, getting tired, time to stop.
Sounds good. Okay. So he flies closer towards it, and you see that there is flying towards a large, pure middle structure, which seems to be made out of solid metal. As you get closer, you don't see any joints or patterns or anything.
It's just like a solid metal pyramid, and there's a bit of broken ground surrounding it, which he lands on. It's like, alright, everybody off, we're going to sleep for the night. What's with the pyramid? Yeah.
Well, you know, I don't really know. You know, I've been here a few times, made the stop is a good stop. It's just always kind of been floating around here. And yeah, I didn't know much about it.
It seems like it's part of some bigger landmass at some point, and basically how everything is around here. So, yeah, not sure what it is. You ever seen anything like it? No, I don't think so.
I've read about pyramids, but those were made of stone, and you could tell how they were put together. This is dangerous looking at it, like, this is odd. It's pretty unusual. You guys can make camp or whatever if you want.
There's a fire pit over that way. I don't know if there's any wood, but there's a fire pit. I'm getting pretty tired, so I'm going to go to sleep. Alright, you don't want any food?
I don't know what you got. I don't know what you got. I don't have a thought on what kind of food I have, but I definitely brought something to prepare because we've got some food. Alright, that sounds pretty good.
I'll have some of that. Okay, yeah, so I'll make an extra fortune for walking. I might take a little nap, so you might have to wake me up. Okay, yeah, I'll wake you when it's ready.
So I cook food. Okay, would you like to do a check for the quality of your food? You do not have to. Sure, yeah, I got a 22.
Yeah, you've got some pretty good food. Great. Wow, Dae, this is some pretty good food. You've got some campfire experience.
Yeah. Is there anything else that you guys want to do while you are stopped here? Well, I'll take a lap around the pyramid, see if there's a way in. Okay, go ahead and make an investigation check.
Uh oh, okay. Two. Yeah, it seems like it's made of solid metal. I just want to keep an eye out.
Is there anything living here? Any rodents or bugs or anything like that? Oh, you better hope not. Well, if it's like one rat, I can probably talk to it and give it some of our food.
Food? Yeah, there aren't any creatures living here. There are a couple of small trees and there's not a lot of grass, but there are a few patches of grass. Can I take a rest to prepare to speak with plants and try and talk to the trees?
Sure, are you taking a short rest to do that? Yeah, basically a short rest like as I cook or while I'm eating or whatever. Can I, while days short resting, tap my chime of opening on the pyramid? Ooh, you can.
Dang. Okay, so day does a short rest and is going to try and talk some plants. Um, playstra is using a chime of opening. Can you tell me what the chime of opening does?
This hollow metal tube measures once it long and weighs one pound. You can strike it as an action pointing at an object within 120 feet that can be opened such as a door, lid or lock. The chime issues a clear tone and one lock or latch on the object opens unless the sound can't reach the object. If no locks or latches remain, the object itself opens.
It can be used ten times after the ten times it cracks and becomes useless. Ooh, no. You hear a clicking sound coming from the area where you guys landed basically, so near the campfire area. But you do not see anything up here.
Start feeling around where we heard the clicking. You may make investigation checks if you would like. Day? Are you speaking to a tree or something?
Yeah, I would like to speak to the tree. I like cast it somewhere where I'm near both of them, if possible. Both trees and then I'll address one and say hello. Oh, hello.
Hi, you're very beautiful. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. Do you know how long you've been here?
How long I've been here? Yeah, in this, near this big metal thing. Mmm, twelve storms? Twelve storms?
Okay, I'm not sure what that means, but that's fine. Has the big metal thing ever changed? It changes? It changes?
Like how? There is an opening during the storm. Oh, okay. Just now when we made that loud noise, did you hear that?
Yes. Did anything happen when we did that? To do with the metal thing or was that something else? I don't know.
I don't know? It's okay. Do you know if there's a way to get into the metal thing, like when it's not storming? No.
No. But I feel a storm coming. Very soon? Yes.
Okay. What is a storm like? Is it? Would that hurt us?
Do you think? We're pretty small. I don't know. It brings rain.
Okay. That sounds nice. Yes. I'll look, I'll address the other tree.
Do you have anything to add to that? You are also a very fine specimen of a tree, by the way. Thank you. There is also a creature in the sky and streaks of light.
Can you describe the creature? Big. Black. That's all.
Okay. Thank you both so very much. You're welcome. And as they say that you feel the wind starting to pick up a bit.
Oh geez. Okay. So I go and share all of this information with the others. Like, okay, the trees just told me that a storm is coming and that when it does, this pyramid is going to open and they seem to think it's a good thing, but I'm scared of it.
So let's get ready. Okay. You two were investigating. So what did you, what did you get?
Right. Right. I got a four. That's not a finding thing.
I rolled the 17 on my investigation. I see. That's a pretty good role. But searching around, you still don't find anything.
You don't find any like entrances in the ground and there aren't any seems in the pyramid still. So you're not quite sure where the clicking sound came from. Oh man. I hope that didn't cause the storm that's coming.
The trees seem to think that it was a good thing. Like it's going to rain, but there's also a big black creature in the sky, which. I don't like that. Yeah, I don't like that either.
You've start to feel a few drops of rain fall from the sky. Okay. Is Joaquin acting like this is normal? Still napping.
Joaquin is still napping. Yeah, the rain's not heavy enough to wake him. Okay. I'm going to go wake him up and make sure that he knows what's going on.
A storm? I've never seen a storm here, but it's raining, I guess. What do you guys want to do? And as he says that, there is a big lightning vault that strikes the top of the pyramid.
I didn't describe it, but there's like a rod up there. And when it hits the rod, you see an opening open in the side of the pyramid. You hear two clicks as it does that. Okay.
And you see in the sky, you see this big Kraken. Oh shit. Except you can see that above its gaping maw. It has this giant eye.
And at the ends of its tentacles are also eyes. Holy fuck. Wait, a beholder, Kraken? What the fuck?
Yeah. But Kraken. I was going to say it for older. I think I did that first.
I like this one better. Okay. Plus a kraken holder sounds like it holds like some kind of fast food item. Yeah, it sounds like a food like a croissant.
I need a kraken holder for my croissant. Well, Keith, you might want to run. We're going to get in the pyramid, I think. Yeah, but is the door opening big enough for Joaquin?
It is not big enough for Joaquin. I don't want to leave him alone. I don't want to go in there anyway. If you guys are going to go in there, I'm going to go out there and I'm going to wait.
Okay. Yeah. That sounds good. Stay safe.
Please come back. I don't think we can fight that. Joaquin flies away quickly. Okay.
And go into the pyramid. Yeah. Okay. I follow.
You step into the pyramid. The door closes behind you. You are in this kind of Lovecraftian nightmare kind of place. The walls are in the floor and everything are kind of these dark, black, fleshy looking things that kind of shift and move around a bit.
And then there are like creaking tentacles that like move and wiggle out from the surfaces. Some of them with like big eyes that look at you. You hear a big booing voice that says, welcome to my dominion. Oh shit.
Don't like that. I will call up to it. I'll say, who are you? Make a persuasion check.
19. You hear a voice repeat. Dominion. Oh, your dominion.
We've heard so much about you. Oh, there is no response. Okay. So like my, my instinct is to whisper, but I feel like he can probably hear us anyway.
So I'll just say like Dominion is the person who used to rule this realm before Marguerite came in. Maybe he'll be interested in not letting us go. Yeah. But how do we know he won't just eat us what we're done?
I don't think we do. I don't like this. Should we look around? I mean, yeah.
I don't want to get too close to any tentacles. Okay. They look grabby. Is there like a hazelnut or like a path or something through the room?
There is not really a path. It is a big room, but you can see all of the walls. There are tentacles coming from everywhere. They, you're definitely standing in an area where several could grab you and they haven't.
Okay. You do not see an exit. Is there anything besides the tentacles in the room? No, it's just tentacles and some tentacles with eyeballs on them.
Okay. Does the room seem as large as the whole pyramid or does it seem like an entryway? It seems like an entryway. Okay.
It's still fairly large. It's probably like half the size of the pyramid. Okay. So I would like to look around for a way out.
Okay. You're gonna make an investigation check. Is anyone gonna help me? Yeah.
Should I just also make a tracker? No, I'm gonna take advantage of you. Okay. I think people talk to us.
You're making an advantage of me. Uh, 17. I love it. Susan.
Not like Susan. Okay. Yeah. You walk around the room and basically straight across from where you entered.
You see this. It kind of looks like a tear or something. Like all the walls and stuff are shifting and moving slightly, but you see whenever it moves like it kind of opens up a bit and then closes again. But it's just like this, like this slit in the wall that barely opens whenever it's moving around.
Like a, like a sphincter. Kind of. Yeah. I don't know about that gang.
I don't know about that. So I'm gonna call out again and I'm gonna say dominion. If you let us out of here, we can help you take back this realm. Make a persuasion check.
17. Nice. You hear the word proceed. Proceed.
Well, they proceed. Okay. All right. Get up in front of it and try to like force it open and squeeze through it.
Just step through. So you're just trying to get yourself through it? Yeah. Try it open and step through.
If it goes badly enough, I might excard this door. Okay. Give me a strength check. 17.
Yeah. You basically managed to jerk it open and walk through into the next room. Things did go badly and I used the X card. Please enjoy the elevator music.
I see the X's. Is the door still open? Yes. Okay.
Weighing up the door open and we go through. Yes. Yes. I will follow directly in front of you is a 10 foot chasm spanning across the room.
And on the other side of that you see up from the floor come these two curved sections of like very sharp, fangy teeth that just kind of come together and then descend back into the floor and then come back out again and go back down. Kind of like those rotating garbage smashing machines. If you've seen those on the other side of that is another 10 foot chasm and then after that the room continues and you see like this weird liquidy burbling escalator that goes up. Okay.
I lean over today and I say I don't like any of this. Yeah. Me either. And then the voice says prove yourself.
Okay. What's if we look down in the chasm what's down there? Make a perception check is pretty far down and probably pretty gross. 25.
So you see that it goes down for about 45 feet and at the bottom there are these sharp little shorter teeth that seem to be coming up out of the ground surrounded by like this kind of swollen red looking area around each tooth. Okay. And that's what you see down there. So like do you see some oranges?
Yeah, something like that. Okay. How long? How wide are the pits?
Did you say just 10 feet? Yeah. Yeah. So there should be two of these.
And there's another 10 foot area like a 10 foot strip in the middle where the curved teeth thing is going from. So do you have an idea on how to get across? I figured both of you could just jump pretty easy but I have a safer way. I thought we were taking the gooey escalator.
That's across the way. We have to cross the pits first. I misunderstood. Okay.
So we're just eating across. Okay. No, no, no. The prize of crossing the pits is using the gooey escalator.
I'm really glad that I'm unable to imagine what a gooey escalator looks like. Well, everything here is kind of made out of flesh. So like imagine an escalator that's just like made out of flesh like it's got these beers. Yeah, I'm glad I can't imagine it.
They go. If you do not have like ideas then I'm going to go on. Like can we still float in here? No.
Okay. Damn. I know I can easily run and jump across that because I'm behind a string score. So I reach onto the room of useful items and I pull off the 24 foot ladder that we have and I'll make a bridge using it.
Smart. Okay. So you're making a bridge over to the two. To the middle section.
Two. To the middle section. Oh shit. I have step of the wind.
Yeah, you can do anything. Yeah, you'll be fine. Go up on the ceiling. Exactly what that does.
All right. So we're going to cross the ladder bridge. Yeah. And then you know, we'll scoot it down and make bridge across the other chasm as well.
Right. Yeah. And then you said there was like a rotating thing. Yeah.
So rotating to rotating sets of teeth up in the middle section is taking up most of the section. So you could probably get a grip with the ladder over there without it being caught up in the teeth, but there's not really much room to step on over there. Right. Like can we use the ladder to pull vault over the teeth like in tremors?
You can certainly trust. I was misunderstanding that there were rotating bladey teeth in the middle. That goes across the entire length of the middle part. Yes.
Oh boy. What's on the ceiling? The ceiling's pretty bare. There are more tentacles of course because there are tentacles everywhere.
Can I use the helmet or a rubber to grab myself up to the tentacles on the ceiling and then basically swing across over to the other side? That's very cool. Yeah. That's pretty bad ass.
Haha. I was saying that that was a way for Wayland to get over. I could turn into a spider. It's boring, but.
A spider day. I took inspiration from your spider form. It's fine. So that leaves a place for a place for how are you getting over?
I'm not. I'm not kidding. Run on the wall. But I have to get around the teeth.
Can I take the ladder bridge across then pick up the ladder and set it against a wall, climb up and then jump over the teeth? So the ladder will just barely hit the lip of the area that the teeth are on. So there's not really going to be room to set it down sideways against a wall like that. Can I just try to time a jump through the teeth then?
You can. I cross the bridge. Alright. What am I?
Acrobatics. Acrobatics I think. Haha. To time the jump through.
It's a non-natural 21. As opposed to those natural 21s? Yeah. So, day turns into a spider and like walks along the walls to get across.
And there's no teeth on the walls? No. Ok. That's why I said the place where I could just run on the wall.
Oh. Well anyway. And Waylon just like extends and tentacles from his to tentacles and swings to the other side. And the place where just kind of backs up a bit and runs and then jumps just when the teeth are down into the ground and then jumps across to the other side.
Ok. And all three of you are across. And there's an escalator going up to the next floor. Ooh.
That was a few. Get on the escalator. So you reach another chamber. In this one there are a lot of skeletons hanging by their feet from the ceiling.
Oh dear. And then there is this large eye that just is like darting around the room like it's just moving through the walls and kind of moving around. And it says, Welcome Travelers. I am Dominian.
Form a ruler of this land. I have brought you here seeking your aid and removing the foul queen who has overtaken my domain. In exchange I can offer you power far greater than most mortals possess. Sounds good to me.
I mean I look at Waylon and I say is this another info penny info pound kind of thing or do you think we should ask some questions? I think this one deserves a few questions. What kind of power? Oh.
Not even Dominian knows. I did not expect you to accept the tentacle overlords already. I mean we've already made deal with hags so there's no one at least hearing them out. I could give you a kingdom in my domain.
Rulership over many foul demons and other such creatures. Not really interested in that? Me neither. Valestra, do you want to rulership over demons?
Not foul demons. I want fair demons. So it sounds like you're in as long as it's a whole bunch of... Secubuses?
Or Incubai. I was going to say the... Marilyn? Marilyn.
Yes. Susan and I need to have a long talk about where this relationship is going if anywhere assuming we ever see each other again. No. I think you can keep that.
We just want to go home really, but we just have to do first. I think that strangely enough our goals align with yours. We also want to destroy Queen Markwin, but we just need to be allowed to go on our way to do that I think. Very well.
I will allow you to leave and a door opens in the wall. Okay. And the eye moves to right above it. Okay.
Are we up in the pyramid though? Like do we just slide down? Fun. I'll go look at the door.
So if you go look out the door, you can see that there are two pathways. One goes up and one goes down. Okay. I want to explore up to the top.
Okay. All right. Going up. Okay.
So I'm going to let you go alone. Are you still a spider? Yes. So it is a steep winding path.
It's very steep and kind of slippery. So Dave has no problem as a spider going up it, but Waylin and a play-stroke might. So if they would like to walk up the path, I am going to need dexterity saving throws. Let's get Dextrous.
I got a 13. I think I have advantage for that. So it should be good. Yeah.
Yeah. So yeah, that's good enough. The two of you can go up. It's kind of slow.
You slip a little bit, but you don't fall down and you move up and you come out on the top of the pyramid. I'd survey the land around us. Does anything look different? It looks like the storm is subsiding.
You can see Dominion flying around above. He's a little further away than he was before, but everything seems to be basically the same other than that. All right. Okay.
Well, that was interesting. Well, you're now at the top of a pyramid. So I see me want to get down. Yeah.
You can just float though. Yeah. Are we going to float up here? Yeah.
Okay. In a spider form, I float. Is there something I can use so I can like snowboard down the side of the pyramid? If one of the three of you have something, there's nothing on the top of the pyramid.
I take the ladder and I lay the ladder down and I slide on it like a board. You carried that with you? Yeah, sure. Okay.
You got a little cut up by the teeth. That was perfectly boardside. Okay. Give me a performance check.
This will go poorly. Performance. Seven. Yeah.
You do it. It's fun, but you don't look as cool doing it as you think you do. Wow. Guys, that was pretty cool, wasn't it?
I give you like eight spider thumbs up as I'm floating through the air. I golf. Oh, see, I thought it. I thought since it wasn't as cool.
You guys are going to say negative things. I feel like I've said too many negative things to you today. Also, I can't speak. What does that mean?
We're back at our campsite. What's happening? Dominion is flying away. And we're waiting for a ride to come back.
And somebody feels a vibrating in their pocket. Oh, no. Whoever has the thing. I think it's probably Wayland.
I think it's usually Wayland. Yeah, I think it's Wayland. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh.
I pick up the bone phone. Hello. Hello. I'm still alive.
Still alive. Strange. Excellent. And where are you at?
Have you reached the center of the forest yet? Yes, but. Oh, is he dead? No, we decided he would need a bit.
He would probably need to be softened up before we even thought about fighting him. Do you roll a deception check for me? Yeah, that's fine. I feel like the HAG should have disadvantage on their insight because it's over the phone.
But 13. Let's see. That's a two and a 10. So they believe you.
I mean, it's a half truth. We went to the portal to try to send, you know, it's a friggin nightwalker. He killed a nightwalker before we found him. So we figured we could send more out through to fight him.
Yeah, that's totally what happened. It's a great liar. So is Kieran. Now the HAG say, but we sent you there to stop the things coming out of the portal.
The day just has her chance over her face. Oh, are you sure he hasn't tricked you? You know, I honestly don't know what's going on. There's a lot.
I'm picturing it. Don't wait too long. Yep, we'll try. Kill him soon.
Whatever you say. Did you wish to make any more deals? Nope. No, I think we're good.
Okay. Well, we're always here if you need us. I'm sure you are. Bye, click.
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