In our last episode, in an effort to explore the rest of the Museum of Old Dominion, the party solved puzzles with their usual grace and wit, or lack thereof. Weyland muscled through swinging blade traps, pilister leapt over flames, and day turned into a bat to avoid everything. They ended up in a library where the floor didn't exist. Our adventurers today are Keerin, who plays Weyland of Arbarian.
That was easy than I thought. Max, who plays Polister of the Monk. Oh, that's smart. David, who plays Ichabod the Wizard.
I mean, if you've been wondering what my skeleton looks like, ta-da. Theron, who plays David Ruid. Why just build your beans? And our DM, Hazel.
Solid, non-high fire. Welcome fellow travelers to Legends of Chill. Was there anything you wanted, else you wanted to do, or talk to the Keeper of the Crypt that you thought of while you were on break? I was going to ask the Keeper of the Crypt if there was any way we could get some sort of blessing or boon from his God.
I mean, we are trying to set the natural order right again. And it is going to be quite a hunt. Keeper of the Crypt will go, oh, well, let me see what we have. Digs are out of the middle cardboard box.
No, they open up a drawer in a dresser, and they start rummaging through the stuff that's in there. While they're doing that, they're kind of picking things up and going, mmm, no. And they kind of have to know, what kind of thing are you looking for? Hee-hee.
I was just wondering if there was a ritual or a prayer we could do that would maybe get a higher power on our side. Oh, there probably is, but I don't know. Let's see. Alright, cool.
Don't worry about it then. They pull out a potion. They're like, what about this? Ooh, what kind of potion is it?
It says... I'll cast a deck magic on it. Potion of hitting things. Potion of hitting thing?
What? That doesn't sound real. No offense. Oh, it comes in cherry flavor.
Somebody did something to it? Is that a day? Yeah, I mean, I just cast a deck magic because that's what I have, but... It is magical.
Yeah, but what is it? What it is, is that it will give you advantage for two rounds. Hmm. Well, that's nice.
I'll take it. I guess. Actually, maybe whalen should take that. Oh, you can have it.
I feel like whalen can have advantage whenever he wants. The idea of an advantage attack with a stunning blow is pretty attractive. Yes. Yeah.
Alright, so you climb up the ladder. It's a pretty good track up there. It's a long ladder. I'm not going to make you make checks for it though.
Congratulations. Thank you. And you open up a track door. It's a little tough to open.
There's something on top of it, but it's not too heavy. So it slides back off and you can open it up and you find yourself in a store room. It's very dusty. There are...
There's a couple of brooms and a dust pan. There's boxes of stuff. And it's a very small space for the four of you plus everything that's in here. I search the boxes.
So that can be a perception or investigation. Investigation. Gender supplies. Seventeen.
Editors note, for context, this joke was recorded in the first month of the pandemic. Okay, you find a lot of toilet paper. You find... Oh geez.
People are going to listen to this in like a year and be like, why was that so funny? So the paper, there is a bunch of silver and gold candelabras and stuff. We have some of them back later. Yeah, but it's full of rations mostly.
I mean, we can take this stuff if you want to sell it later. That's fine. I'll take the silver and gold candelabras and shove them into the bag of gold. Okay.
Are these like industrial strength toilet paper rolls? Like the big heavy ones? You got three ply shit. No, that one ply crap.
Yes. All right, I take a couple of those and I put them on a broom and then I hold the broom across my shoulder. I kind of like I got these weights and carrying around. We'll see if I can couple see if I can my guy for something out of that later.
Okay. All right. All right, that down as toilet paper bludgeon. And broom.
I'm going to tee-pee the castle and then she comes out to investigate. Waylon, you drop from the, from the band. You're meddling kids. Oh, oh, a sword of severance.
My curse has been lifted. I am the sword of severance. Thank you for your travelers. So I want to peek out the door.
Okay. There are a lot of vibes. It looks like it is very ornate underneath those webs. There is a large room off to your right.
You're kind of in like a narrower hallway section and it looks like there is like a weird octagonal chamber off to your left. An octagonal chamber. Eight sides. Spiders have eight legs.
Illuminate confirmed. Does there seem to be, can I do a perception and see if there are any noises from creatures? You may. 14.
From off to your left, you hear a little bit of creaking sounds. It's not very loud, but. Creaking. And that's from the octagonal, octagonal chamber, right?
Yes. It's the other mother. I am picturing like Queen Marguette and sitting in a rapping chair. So I will probably cautiously head that way and look.
I am right behind her. So this is under the central tower where Dominion is. An octagonal chamber where the central tower is and it has a bunch of stained glass windows at the top except they're mostly covered up by cobwebs and marguen is up there. Oh cool.
Yeah. Creaking here is from the webbing. The webbing creaking creaking. She seems to be asleep.
Does not notice you. Oh boy. I say we turn around like Scooby-Doo style to go back into the cupboard and talk about what we want to do. Yeah.
I am off of that. So she's up in the ceiling. What are we? Am I supposed to talk to her?
Am I supposed to say like, excuse me ma'am, I know you're taking a nap but. Well, what should Whelan hide in the shadows to spring out and get her or do we want to try, do we want to really try to talk to her? I could try. Whelan has proven to be a master of stealth.
How tall is the doorway like between this little hallway section and the big chamber? It is probably one of those tall arch doorways that lead or into the chamber. So I would say that's probably like 10 feet tall. Okay.
This somewhat narrow is like four feet across or something. Cool. So do we want to turn this little hallway into our safe stone for the fight or should I wait on that? Like what are we doing?
Good question. I think one of us has to volunteer to wake her up and talk to her first. I feel like that's going to end up on me isn't it? I mean I got my noble birth thing right?
I can, what's that thing called that background feature that I have? Bratty nonsense. Yeah, I know. Position of privilege.
Other people of high birth treat as a member of the same social sphere. You can secure an audience with a local noble if you need to. So maybe I should be the one to talk. Hey, so how high did you say Mark when was?
I didn't. Okay. So how high is Mark when? Let's say like 20, 25 feet.
Perfect. I can, I can create an illusion up there with her to initiate the interaction. That way nobody actually has to immediately put themselves out there. It would mean waking her up and then going from there.
Do you think that she would take that as hostile? Do you think that we're going to be in a fight immediately no matter what? Yeah, I don't know. That's a good idea.
I think it, it, we could certainly stand like chasing school children down at the bottom, but I'm just saying about the initial wake. I don't know. I'm just worried she's going to think it's some kind of trick. Once you realize it's a little trick.
Yeah. See, but if she thinks all right off the bat, we're trying to trick her, then I don't think she just gets back to us. You know, talk to us. Our, our encounter with the, the, the spiritual that if her first move is to attack the illusion we know that's what her first move would have been.
To us, to us. It makes combat technical, technical sense. No, that's not, it makes good tactical sense. Okay.
From a combat perspective, I don't know if it's a good tactic if we're going to be able to talk to her because like maybe if somebody came in and said hi, she wouldn't attack. But if there's a noise right next to her while she's asleep, she would. I see what you're saying. Yeah.
I think I'm just going to suck it up and walk to the doorway and say, um, what do you want me to do it? Oh, if you want to do the same. Is this an privilege? Again, you've made excellent use of that before.
I'm just going to be, I don't even remember what I used it for. I just know I used it once. That was me being sarcastic, but yes. This is like my moment.
Okay. Yeah. This is, this is police for moments to take the lead. Go ahead.
All right. Um, excuse me. You're, you're highness. I'm sorry to wake you, but, um, we required audience urgently.
I yell up to the giant spider woman and it echoes beautifully. Um, can you give me a persuasion check? 18. I don't like this pause.
This long pause. You see her eyes open and she stirs and she, uh, looks down at you and says, oh, little nibble. What were you saying? Yes.
Um, hello. I am, uh, of the, the noble house of Iron Hoof in Chan Sakai and, uh, your, your majesty, I feel that there's some urgent matters of your realm, uh, that we must speak about post-haste. And again, I apologize for disturbing you. Of course.
And she lowers herself down. And then she kind of comes up to you and then she leans down and takes a bite. Cool. So, uh, the 19 hits.
Okay. So that is four points of piercing damage and six points of poison damage. And now we can roll initiative. It's a 24 from Palaestra.
15 from Wayland. That's a 17 for Ichabun. And a 15 for day. Nice rolls.
And Marguwen gets a 23. Oof. Way to go, Marguwen. Ha ha.
Wayland or a day? Who wants to go first? Um, I want to go first. Okay.
I have one tactic. I don't need to think about it. Okay. Palaestra, Marguwen, Ichabod, day in Wayland.
So Palaestra, you are up first. Marguwen has bitten you. I say, okay, you ate like a bitch. That's how you want it.
Then I will expend both of the remaining charges of my Ring of the Ram to try and blast her back. Um, I believe that. Yes, I have this here already. Let me just double check something real quick.
That's a 24. Will that hit? A 24 will hit. Nice.
Alright, so that's going to be 18 damage and she is pushed back 5 feet away from me. Okay. And then for my bonus action, I am going to ignite my horn cap of flame and say it's fucking on and end my turn. That will bring us to Marguwen's turn.
Uh oh. Marguwen will move up to Plaestra since Plaestra is right up there in front. Yeah, she's going to move towards you and she's just going to stab at her you with her sharp little feet. Her little footseaves.
Haha. Her toesy woeys. Does a 19 hit? Yes.
Okay. And as we'll just do these other two attacks, I'll have this selected since I don't have her programmed another 19 and a 20. I'll hit. So she'll stab you twice.
10 damage on the first stab and 8 on the second. And then she will bite you again. So that's 4 points of piercing damage and 12 points of poison damage. Okay.
That leaves me with 15 out of 59 hit points. Oh, cool. I stand by my initial statement. Okay.
And it is now Ichabod's turn. Okay. I am going to cast Bless at second level. And so for a minute, everyone can add a D4 to attacks and saving throws.
Okay. Sweet. And that's the end of my turn. I'm going to stay where I am.
Okay. That brings us to Waylin. I thought I was going first. Sorry.
Yes, it brings us to day. I'm going to put up like right in front of Plaestra so that it'll basically encompass all of us, my prismatic wall. So my hair is going to suddenly light up really bright. As I do it, I'm making sure that it doesn't hurt anybody in my party or spike.
And what it is is basically a sphere all around us. We can't see through it, but we can move through it. And it's bright light. And anybody who I haven't designated within 20 feet of it at the start of their turn needs to make a constitution saving throw.
I'm going to guess that it's 15 since it's a magic item and not my spellcasting ability or become blinded for a minute. Okay. Basically getting through it will hurt her badly. Fuck yeah.
So it's basically a big safe bubble. But we can pass through it easily. We can pass through it. Sweet.
Both ways. Yeah, both ways. It's basically I designate who can pass through it when I cast it. So the party can, yeah.
And day's hair is all frazzled and dead looking dead looking like it's been over bleached. Okay. Marglin fails for a con safe. Okay.
So she is blinded for one minute that that gives her disadvantage. And some other stuff attacks against her have advantage. And she automatically fails any ability check that requires that. So we'll not going to have to be reckless to get advantage.
Nice. And I believe I sit on the floor. So there's no additional safe with that. She's just blinded for a minute.
She's just blinded for a minute. And if the fight goes on for more than a minute and she still within 20 feet of it, she has to make another save. Mm. So you don't have to make saves for it.
We don't know because I definitely it's a ninth level spell that you gave me access to. Yeah. I know. Okay.
You probably heard it. I did print it out. I put it on narrow margins and it fills up the entire page. Okay.
So that brings us to Wayland's turn. All right. Sweet. I will run out and swipe better twice with the sort of severance 20 and a 21.
Those both hit. Wayland rushes out and strikes Markwin twice raging before so before doing so. And with the I assume like glowing sort of severance because it's against Markwin deals a total of 34 slash radiant damage with that first attack and beautiful. 15 with the second.
Remember that you're aiming for a crit. We should all be like casting tiny luck spells in our minds. Oh yeah. Right.
Oh, and then I'm going to take my 10 last 10 feet of movement backwards into the prismatic wall. Okay. You're going to take an opportunity attack. That's fine.
She has disadvantage because she's blinded. I hope that's fine. Oh, oh, that will hit. 23 to hit will hit and you can fix that.
All right. You okay there? Yeah, I guess. Well, stop mumbling.
I just don't know what I'm doing. It's fine. The big boss battle is hard to run. You can do it.
It's five points of damage. That's cute. Yeah, that must be nice. I'm taking three because I'm raging and some of these piercing.
Yes. I have a question for who for you. Okay. Can you all hear me through the bubble?
I assume you can. Can we hear through the prismatic wall? Let's see. Yes.
You can't see us and we can't see you. It's a it's an opaque wall and it sheds bright light. But we can hear through it because I mean we can pass through it. So sound can pass through it.
Okay. Mardwin is going to scream really loudly. Fuck. In a very disturbing way and I need everyone within 30 feet to make a constitution saving throw.
I think that's everybody but Ichabod. This plus tooth anything about saves? Yeah, plus also counts for saves. Oh, I really wish that that's not where that crit was.
Yeah. I got a 24. I got a seven. We only got a 30.
Okay. You needed to be a 13. So Palatra spails and drops the zero hit points. Oh, sure.
No one can touch me because I'm literally on fire right now. I got you anyway. So it doesn't matter. So those of you who failed take 3d6 psychic damage.
Just take the 10. That way I don't have to roll it. No. Those of us who succeeded.
So they're in my lane can take 10 psychic damage or day in my lane rather. Oh, Jesus fuck. Where are we in the turn order? That was just that was a layer action or whatever.
That was a weightless turn. Yeah, it was a legendary action. Okay. So I guess that brings it back to me.
So that is Palatra's turn. It's a place where we need to make a death saving throw. 14. Good.
So that brings us to Margwin's turn. She can't see you. Not that she can see any of you anyway. So she can make an attempt to pass through the wall, but it'll damage her.
I don't know if she knows that. And she can attack it, but each of seven layers needs to be attacked a different way to dispel it. She is going to throw a dart in that direction. Okay.
Probably all three really. Any attempt to get at you through it. Are they magical? No.
They're not magical. They're protected. Oof. They're 16, 28, 28 with two natural 20s to try to get at you by throwing her darts at this shield.
What basically happens is they burn to a crisp. They like flare red and burn up and turn to dust. She shrieks again, not in the same way. Okay.
But she... She has a lot of different kinds of screams. She shrieks in anger and none of that does any damage. So that brings us to Ichabod's turn.
Okay. I am going to cast Cure Wounds on Palatra. And what I can do is use a sorcery point to make it a ranged effect. Mm.
Ooh. You don't even want to walk up and walk back, huh? Not even. And it heals 21 points.
Oh, thank you. And that's the end of my turn. Okay. Mark went and is going to Banshee Street again, so I needed her by within 30 feet to make a...
What was it? A con save? Okay. If we saved before, we're not immune.
I feel like that's how Banshee's work, but I don't know for sure. That's not what it says here, and I'm pretty much just copied it and pasted it. Okay. So that's usually it's in another paragraph, so I wasn't sure.
Whoo! Made an 18. Uh, Willing got a 21? Oh shit.
Looks like a day failed? Yeah, I failed. So I dropped a 0. You dropped a 0.
And the rest of you take damage... Ten damage to Place your end, Willing. Okay. Ooh.
Okay. That was the end of Ichabod's turn. So that's a date's turn. Day needs to make a death saving throw.
Okay, okay. Okay. I got a 13. So that's a success.
And now it's Willing's turn. Okay. I will continue attempting to deal with Mark when... That's a strike twice and dash back in.
Ooh! Hey! That's a crit! That's a crit!
That's a good pass. So what are you going to do with that crit? Are you going to deal extra damage? Is that what you wanted to do?
I mean, yes, but then there was the other thing with the sort of severance. That also happens. I think it's actually you have to choose. Let me find the text for you.
Oh. Then no, I will remove the darkness instead of dealing damage. This is done in the sword. We'll absorb the corruption into itself turning black and crumbling away into dust.
Good grief. Yeah. Nice. Yeah.
No. I mean, I'm going to click the damage just to see how much I would have done. But that's just me. For sure.
That's a lot of damage. Please don't change your mind. Please don't change your mind. I'm not changing my mind.
No. It's like 33. 38. That's wolf damage.
I'll fall back. Okay. So you slash Mark going with your sword. And as you do so, the sword starts to shake in your hand.
And this darkness just starts to pull from Marguerite's body. And she kind of collapses to the ground, breathing heavily as her arachnid body just gets slowly sucked into the sword. And the sword, once that's done, and Marguerite is laying on the ground in her humanoid form. The sword just kind of crumbles in your hand under your grip first into dust and falls down to the ground.
Holy shit. Alright. I feel like the first thing he does is he stabs her. Watch as it goes.
Alright. Sweet. Who's got dead? He turns around and goes back inside.
But yeah, actually, if I stab her, she's not up yet. I'll just turn around and go touch her with the healing hand. The Asimov thing. I'm like, alright, I got this.
I got this. So you're healing me? Yes, because you're at zero. Okay.
What do I get? Like four or something? I think it's level. I'm finding it.
It is level. Okay. Okay. Are we still in an issue order?
No. Okay. So I'll get up and I will go here at the edge and sort of peek my head out to see what's going on. I already passed through because I just wanted to make sure she wasn't going to get up and try to keep fighting even after being saved or whatever.
Well, she's human again. Yes, she's human. Or whatever. She's human.
She is breathing heavily, laying on the ground and she looks up at all of you and says, thank you. I am, well, I once was Queen Margwin from Chandler and I think I've been here some time but I'm not really sure. Thank you so much for freeing me from that curse. Who are you all?
Well, that's a long story. But for now, my name is Day and this is Waylon and Ichabod and Philestra, I say as I'm pointing to each person. And we are all back from Chell, just like you. And we came to take care of a problem and it seemed like maybe you'd be able to help us.
I suppose I could help. I will need some rest, I think. Of course. But I would be happy to help but what is your problem?
So do you remember your rule of this place? Of all you were cursed? Vaguely. So based on the stories we've heard, you came in and you defeated the ruler of this place, Dominion, who's a big sky monster with tentacles.
And to do that, you did something that reversed the way combat works. The smaller you are, the harder it is to hit you to the extent that creatures like rats and cats are very dangerous and dragons and stuff are not. And that's causing such an issue in this plane that people are going through a portal into our plane. And I don't know exactly what's happening in between there, but they're causing a big problem.
There's spiders and deathstalkers and shit attacking people back on Chell. And if you could reverse that issue, then people would be able to live their normal lives here and would stop attacking our plane. I see, I'm so sorry to hear that. I kind of remember doing that.
The endless guy. The endless guy. Why did I? Probably because Dominion was really big.
Yeah, I think that was it. I had to make Dominion weaker and that's what I did. I'm sorry that it's affected your life so negatively. Though I guess it helped me out quite a bit.
So it's good in that way. Are you powerful without the curse? I think so. I feel well, I'm tired right now.
But I feel like I'm very strong. I'm sure that I could help you all out with some rest. So if there's a place suitable for you to stay here, if you would like to wait till tomorrow, I will meet with you all again and I will see what I can do to help. That would be amazing, your majesty.
Yeah, we got a temple that we hang and it's awesome. That's lovely to hear. This place is quite beautiful, isn't it, if it weren't for all the webs and dust? I can take care of that.
End of episode. Perfect. Thank you for listening. This show is a production of The Land of Shell made possible through the support of our wonderful patrons.
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