S1E2 Carmen Best | You're Allowed* to Lead on Your Own Terms

S1E2 — Carmen Best | You're Allowed to Lead on Your Own TermsCarmen Best — Former Chief of the Seattle Police Department, Speaker, Author, ChangemakerGuest: Carmen Best, former Chief of the Seattle Police Department, author of Black in Blue, and one of the most recognizable voices on leadership to come out of 2020.Episode DescriptionPeople told Carmen Best she'd never be Chief. She mostly found out afterward — the doubt was happening in rooms she wasn't even in, about a career she hadn't started yet. She became Chief of the Seattle Police Department anyway.In this episode of You're Allowed, Carmen traces the whole arc: a loving, lower-middle-class childhood in Tacoma where she was given permission to dream as big as she wanted, a "why not" decision in 1992 that turned into nearly 30 years in law enforcement, and the year the entire world was watching her city. She's honest about being the only woman — and often the only woman of color — in the room, the mentors who reminded her she wasn't alone, and the slow boil of experience that became her book.Then she gives away the hard-won wisdom: how she knew when to walk away, why "if you need the job, maybe you shouldn't take the job," what she'd whisper to herself the day she got appointed, and what she's still allowed to want. It's an episode about permission and access — the story and the pathway — and it ends on the line that defines the whole show.In This EpisodeThe craziest thing people said would never happen — and why "people aren't always right"Growing up in Tacoma with strict rules but unlimited permission to dreamThe 1992 "why not" that became a 30-year careerBeing the only one in the room, and turning that pressure into purposeThe mentors who taught her "you're not alone in this"Writing Black and Blue after the slow boil of 2020Leading Seattle through a mass shooting, a pandemic, George Floyd, CHOP, and the defund movementThe council cuts, and protecting a department she'd just diversified to a record 39.9%Knowing when to hand over the reins — and why that's freedom, not failureA real leadership playbook: the 80% decision, thick skin, your North Star, and humilityThe lightning round: best advice, worst advice, and the one sentence she'd tell her younger selfBeing honored as the final Shoulders of Giants honoree and raising record support for Rise Up AcademyKey TakeawaysPeople aren't always right. Almost everything Carmen accomplished, someone said wouldn't happen first — being Chief included.Dreaming is the starting line. Strict rules at home, but never a ceiling on what she could become.You're standing on shoulders, and someone's standing on yours. Being one of few made her want to do more, because the next generation would be judged by how she showed up.Mentorship matters — even when it's informal. "You're not alone in this."Leadership is rarely 100% certain. The best call might only be the 80% one. Make it anyway.Know your North Star and grow thick skin. People will write things about you that aren't true. Lead anyway.Real leadership is humility. Build a team stronger than you and set the environment for them to win.If you need the job, maybe you shouldn't take the job. Sometimes the freeing thing is being willing to let it go for everyone else's sake.Preparation is the best advice; "give up" is the worst. Opportunity without preparation isn't opportunity.Trust your instincts. They're there for a reason.Memorable Quotes"People aren't always right." — Carmen Best "If you need the job, maybe you shouldn't take the job.""It's very freeing to say, this is the right thing to do, and I'm going to do the right thing.""You just have to know your own currency and value it.""The best might only be 80%, but that's what we're going to go with, because that's what we've got.""You have to have thick skin and really know what your North Star is and what you're trying to achieve and why.""Real leadership is assembling great teams... and setting the environment for them to have success.""Trust your instincts. They're there for a reason.""Giving up should be the last thing that comes.""You're allowed to... achieve anything your mind can think of."Timestamps00:00 — The premise: what's the craziest thing someone told you you're not allowed to do?00:34 — "People aren't always right." The things Carmen was told would never happen — including becoming Chief.01:13 — Growing up in Tacoma: a loving, lower-middle-class home with strict rules and room to dream02:20 — Starting life with permission to dream big02:37 — 1992: deciding to become a cop on a "why not" pivot03:17 — The reaction: "Not a lot of yes, you should do this."04:25 — Almost 30 years in; being the only woman — and woman of color — in the room06:08 — Mentorship: the informal mentors who said "you're not alone," including Rosalyn Melendez07:35 — Writing Black and Blue: the slow boil that built up08:03 — 2020: mass shooting, pandemic, George Floyd, CHOP, and the defund movement09:32 — The heart-wrenching decision to leave the profession09:52 — The final weeks: a loyal team and the plan to take back the precinct11:32 — The council cuts and protecting hard-won diversity ($1.6M, 39.9% hiring)13:26 — The access: innate or learned? "If you need the job, maybe you shouldn't take the job."14:59 — "Know your own currency and value it."15:10 — What nobody teaches you: the 80% decision and thick skin16:02 — Lonely at the top, and the "sanity check"16:33 — Leading people who don't want to be led; humility17:05 — Real leadership: assembling great teams and servant leadership18:07 — "If I'm doing my job right, I'm the least important person in the room."18:46 — Lightning round: best advice (preparation is critical)19:52 — Worst advice (anyone who tells you to give up)20:26 — Music to reset21:15 — One sentence to newly-appointed Chief Carmen: trust your instincts22:03 — What she's allowed to want now: to keep making a difference22:54 — Being honored as the final Shoulders of Giants honoree at the Columbia Tower Club24:15 — Rise Up Academy, Emancipation Day, and giving back24:56 — What Rise Up Academy does and why early education changes trajectories27:06 — What she hopes people leave with: a call to action29:07 — "You're allowed to... achieve anything your mind can think of."About Carmen Best