S1E22 Menopause x Misogyny x Body Changes x Beauty Standards with Sonia Voldseth

This episode is about some **big** topics, but — I swear — I’ve never laughed so much or so hard as during this interview with Sonia Voldseth of Menopause & Misogyny.Sonia and I are menopausal women with a history of eating disorders, navigating what it means to be a woman with a “belly shelf” in a culture in which misogyny dictates that women should stay young and thin forever … or just disappear.THE TABOOHow menopause impacts body image—especially for women with a history of disordered eating—and naming the shame, fear, and internalized misogyny that fuel it.⚠️ Content warning: Descriptions of disordered eating and body size.TIME STAMPS* [00:12:30] The phrase "you just have to have balls to get through [menopause]" (and how it reveals internalized misogyny)* [00:20:00] Honest conversation about cystic acne, panic attacks, and the emotional toll of perimenopause* [00:30:00] Body image spirals when trying on jeans post-menopause* [00:34:00] We unpack how old disordered eating behaviors creep back in during body changes in menopause* [00:38:00] Reframing eating disorders through a trauma-informed lens: “It’s not what’s wrong with you, it’s what happened to you”* [00:45:00] Pamela Anderson and internalized misogyny: What it means when women stop performing beauty* [00:48:00] Te Ruahinetanga; the Māori word for menopause as a sacred transition.* [00:55:00] Body neutrality vs. body love, and why neutrality is often the more realistic, empowering goalTHE GUEST EXPERTSonia Voldseth lives in Aotearoa (New Zealand) where she mothers and writes and works as a registered mental health counselor dealing with sexual trauma, PTSD, anxiety, depression and body image. She has two clever and kind teenaged daughters and is married to a Kiwi.She was born and raised in Montana on a cattle ranch, then worked in national politics and briefly as a lawyer, before she realized “how much it sucked.”She is excited to be fifty-one years old and finally talking about menopause and misogyny.LINKS + RESOURCESStuff we mention in this episode:* Dr. Mary Claire Haver of ‘The ‘Pause Life”* Dr. Jen Gunter of “The Vagenda”* Older women inspo on Instagram: The Silver Lining 1970* The Last Showgirl (2024), featuring Pamela Anderson and Jamie Lee Curtis* Dr. Gabor Mate and a trauma-informed lens* On Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo: “Yes, We Need to Talk About Wicked Bodies” by Virginia Sole-Smith* Martha Stewart on Sports IllustratedBOOK RECOMMENDATIONS* Hagitude: Reimagining the Second Half of Life by Sharon Blackie* Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay* This Changes Everything by (New Zealander) Niki BezzantKEY TAKEAWAYS* “It’s not what’s wrong with you; it’s what happened to you.”Reframing body image struggles and disordered eating in menopause through a trauma-informed lens helps you understand that your reactions aren’t personal failures. They’re responses to decades of cultural conditioning and systemic misogyny (“the water we swim in”).* Body neutrality is more sustainable than body love.Instead of forcing ourselves to love our changing bodies, especially after years of internalized shame, it can be more empowering to aim for neutrality, or acknowledging, respecting, and caring for our bodies without attaching our worth to how they look.* Te Ruahinetanga offers a radically different framework for menopause.Learning from Māori culture, menopause is not a medical problem to "fix," but a sacred life transition into wisdom and elderhood.Still to come on Season 1 of Modern Hysteria:* Season 1 Ep. 23: The Clitoris x Orgasm x Pleasure with Cindy Scharkey, RN* Season 1 Ep. 24: The Fawn Response withMegan Sherer* Season 1 Ep 25: Normal versus Abnormal Vaginas x Vulvas x Pelvic Red Flags with Carla Carpenter, OBGynSubscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. ☺️ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit micahlarsen.substack.com