S1E63: Forced to kowtow until he bled: Why some men stay in abusive marriages

A counsellor of a support group reveals why some men choose to tolerate physical, emotional and psychological abuse in their marriages.  Synopsis: On Wednesdays, The Straits Times takes a hard look at Singapore's social issues of the day with guests. Spousal abuse cases in Singapore rose significantly in 2024 to 2,136, up from 2,008 such cases in 2023, according to the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF).  While official figures did not give a breakdown of these cases by gender, the defamation case of Johnny Depp against his ex-wife Amber Heard and post-Covid-19 awareness have encouraged more men to step forward, said a counsellor who runs a specialised support group for battered husbands.  To find out more in this episode, assistant podcast editor Lynda Hong speaks with Josiah Yeo, a counsellor at Lutheran Community Care Services (LCCS), who started its support group for abused husbands in 2022. Mr Yeo details how one of the abused husbands in the support group was beaten with golf clubs and made to slap himself in public. He was even locked out of the house and made to kowtow in front of the door 30 times, before he could get into his home.  Apart from abusive marriages, Mr Yeo also gives some pre-marital advice on what are some red flags to look out for, especially in the dating stage. Highlights (click/tap above):  1:49 Impact of Johnny Depp’s defamation suit on men in Singapore 9:31 When do abused husbands finally walk away from a marriage? 14:05 Why men don’t confide in their friends 18:40 Three reasons men stay in abusive marriage 19:11 Breaking the "bro code": How to check on a friend without making it awkward 32:39 Dating red flags - how to spot a potential abusive spouse Read more on abused spouses: https://str.sg/aqjX Helplines Family violence National Anti-Violence & Sexual Harassment Helpline: 1800-777-0000 (24 hours) AWARE Helpline: 1800-777-5555 (weekdays, 10am to 6pm) Care Corner Project StART: 6476-1482 (weekdays 10am-1pm, 2pm-5pm; except public holidays) TOUCH Family Support: 6317-9998 Lutheran Community Care Services: 6441-3906 / [email protected] Mental well-being National Mindline: 1771 (24 hours) / 6669-1771 (via WhatsApp) Samaritans of Singapore: 1-767 (24 hours) / 9151-1767 (24 hours CareText via WhatsApp) Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019 Silver Ribbon Singapore: 6386-1928 Chat, Centre of Excellence for Youth Mental Health: 6493-6500/1 Women’s Helpline (Aware): 1800-777-5555 (weekdays, 10am to 6pm) The Seniors Helpline: 1800-555-5555 (weekdays, 9am to 5pm) Tinkle Friend (for primary school-age children): 1800-2744-788 Counselling Touchline (Counselling): 1800-377-2252 Touch Care Line (for caregivers): 6804-6555 Counselling and Care Centre: 6536-6366 We Care Community Services: 3165-8017 Shan You Counselling Centre: 6741-9293 Clarity Singapore: 6757-7990 Online resources mindline.sg/fsmh eC2.sg chat.mentalhealth.sg carey.carecorner.org.sg (for those aged 13 to 25) limitless.sg/talk (for those aged 12 to 25) Read ST’s Opinion section: https://str.sg/w7sH Host: Lynda Hong ([email protected])  Produced and edited by: Hadyu Rahim Executive producers: Ernest Luis & Lynda Hong Follow In Your Opinion Podcast here and get notified for new episode drops: Channel: https://str.sg/w7Qt Apple Podcasts: https://str.sg/wukb Spotify: https://str.sg/w7sV Feedback to: [email protected] SPH Awedio app: https://www.awedio.sg --- Follow more ST podcast channels: All-in-one ST Podcasts channel: https://str.sg/wvz7 Get more updates: http://str.sg/stpodcasts The Usual Place Podcast YouTube: https://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast  --- Get The Straits Times app, which has a dedicated podcast player section: The App Store: https://str.sg/icyB Google Play: https://str.sg/icyX --- #inyouropinionSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.