In our last episode, we've already traveled north on a carriage to try and find an illegal automaton. And they found it! It had laser hands and was really scary, but they managed to take it out and use their wand to summon the Baron's people to come and pick it up. Our adventurers today are Hazel, who plays Hector.
By detail chicken fortunes. Theron, who plays Wilm. Oh, you're a skeleton! How is that happening?
Are you alive? David, who plays Nix. I can't believe this. This is amazing.
This is a tent, but it has its own floor. Curit, who plays Tass. Alright, let's go. Let's leave it for me alone.
And I- Sorry about that. I'm your DM, Ivy. Should I have used the word talk so much in that sentence? Welcome, Wanderers, to Legends of Shell!
And so we're picking up with you all, I assume, just kind of milling around, waiting for the government people to come get you. I mean, yeah. I don't know anything about robotics or machinery, so it's not like I can learn anything from this husk. So yeah, just sort of chilling.
Cool. So, as you all are waiting, you hear a rustling. And the bushes, to your right, the side that's not a river. What was there?
Emerging are three people you recognize who are other adventurers that have been out here searching. And they're the one at the front, sort of leaders. Oh, it looks like you guys found something. Yeah, we sure did.
You know, you all look like you were pretty well. Why didn't you let us handle it from here? We could really, you know, we could really use that reward money. I think you guys find it out.
I don't know. It looks like not to be rude. I never rude or anything. But it looks like you guys all have nice matching outfits and everything.
And I don't see any reason why you couldn't just go out and find your own robot, someone, or whatever you want to call. We're just starting out here ourselves and we found this fair and square. And you know, you seem like nice at a gentleman with your matching outfits and everything. But, um, they don't actually, I listen.
No, they just now. They still set it. They still build this world alongside you. Okay.
It's an old dwarf saying finders keepers. Oh, where did you come from? Where's a pickle pickle for whatever it was? Or grunt or beard.
Okay. Okay. Do you know where Gelly went? Gelly's gone.
There's only grunt. I feel like Wilm understands what's going on, but doesn't want to give anything away. So doesn't like say aloud in front of these others. Like, I think that that's the same person.
Okay. Well, I guess we'll figure this out later. And, um, well, you all are figuring out who grunt is. We're going to just move in here and take what you found.
I'm going to step in the way. I will move up and start moving up. Are you sure you want to do this? I will turn into a bear.
Oh, then I'll say what do you think you are? Some sort of Game Master? Of course. I'm doing what I want to do.
You see? Well, in that case, I think it's time to roll initiative. I thought we could work this out. Nice and polite.
I mean, I guess some you guys are scavengers. Uh oh, well, these guys got a pretty low initiative. All right. So we're coming in hot this week.
Well, what would you like to do? How heavy does the robotman look? Like, it's much smaller than me. Uh, and it's broken.
Well, it is about as big as a medium creature can be this one. Okay. And it is all metal. So it's pretty heavy.
Pretty heavy. Okay. If it was something that I could easily pick up, that's what I would be doing. But if not.
For you, it wouldn't be necessarily difficult, but it's not like you could, um, pick it up and swing it around like a rag doll or anything. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm not talking about using it as a weapon really. I'm just sort of like picturing, protecting it.
But if that is the case, I think that really what I'm going to do is step so that I am like over it. Like I have one leg on each side of its waist, like to protect it. And I will take my umbrella back out and brandish it at the attackers and say, come at me if you think you can. But I'm not going to rush forward and attack them.
Basically, it's an intimidation tactic. Uh, do you want to roll a check? Sure. Uh, net 20 for a 24.
Oh, a 24. Oh, they are, um, hair very intimidated. I hadn't thought about what they would do if they were very intimidated by the giant lady. Yeah, I think that we will find out on their turn.
Oh, sorry. Did you have anything else? No. All right.
Garen, do I want to cast an offensive attack? Yeah, fuck it. I want to cast moonbeam. They need to make constitution saving throw.
So I've already, this means two of them. What's my favorite game? 14. All right.
One of them rolled a four and one of them rolled a 16. The one that failed takes 17 damage and half damage on a success. Nine? Yeah.
Is the leader who takes more damage? Um, that's what it seems like based on how we discussed it, like this one and this one. Um, so he's dead. Oh, no.
I definitely, I definitely did not make these guys strong enough. It seems. So, so we can see their hit points. If you don't want him to be dead, if you want him to be very badly hurt, you're allowed to lie to us because you're the DM.
I don't like doing that. It's called adjusting on the fly. Yeah, it's right in the rule book. We can edit this out.
It's fine. Don't worry about it. Oh, there's still two that are all. Okay.
So this is what we're doing. You just straight up killed a dude. I just straight up killed a dude and you very badly hurt another dude. Um, oh, just like look a little shock that he died so easy and then turn into a bear anyway.
He's embarrassed. I'm embarrassed. And he's going to stop worrying about things for a minute. Classic coping mechanism.
So he's a kicker around the skull. We can't just kill these people. So I'm going to cool my hood back so that my my skull is looking out at them and I'm going to go. I'm sorry about your friend there.
One of my my companions got a little anxious about you guys. Yeah, we don't really want to fight you. So if you guys would go back into the woods there and go look for your own automaton, we'd appreciate that. And I'm going to try to persuade them to leave.
I got a natural 20. So 24. Right. Yeah, that's 24.
So Anderson, that's still check. We will find out how that works on their turn. How about that? Sure.
All right. Anything else you want to do? No, that's it. Okay.
Next. Okay. I'll move to there a little closer to them and then I'm going to use minor illusion in this location right here and create a copy of the fallen one all crumpled up in that space and saying. Just take that one.
Oh, okay. Of the of the machine. Yes, that's right. Shut up your alarm and identify that one.
Okay. Anything else? Anything else? No, that's it.
These guys are very confused. All right. So I want to real quick here. I need to do a little recap.
So these guys have been intimidated, persuaded, given an illusory version of what they want and also one of them has been killed. They're really confused as to what you guys want from. They also see that I'm like bouncing at my heels because I don't like what has happened. And I like I am prepping to go and try and stabilize our friends.
Yeah. So the gentleman here who is the most wounded, he is going to book it. And now this guy, he's going to take a couple steps back towards the tree line. He's going to pull out a horn and blow the horn and then and then he's going to tick out his light crossbow and fire at Hector.
Does the 13 hit? 13 does not hit. Okay. So this is right between the ribs.
Actually, I'm wearing armor. So that's not how that works. Nothing visually happens after him blowing that horn, but you guys here like an answering horn and it sounds like there's rustling in the brush. And then he goes, I'm calling the rest of your militia.
Well, it's back to you. Okay, I'm going to rush forward. And I want to see if I can stabilize this person that we accidentally killed. What does moon beam do to a person when they're hit by it?
Searing ghostly flames that cause serious pain. Yeah. So he's probably pretty crispy, but they're ghostly flames. So it's not sounds like.
Yeah, that's your since it's raining. All right. I will say that he is not crispy and a charcoal burquette. So, well, if you want to make a, what is that?
It's medicine, usually. I feel like there's distinct rules on like how high of a check you need to make, but I'm not sure what it is. It might be any of a 10. It might be that you set it easy, but I got a 14 to try and stabilize him.
Sure. He's stable. Okay. So I step, I step over the, the, the, I step over next to his head and I kneel down next to this body.
And I like have tears coming out of my eye on both sides of it or any done my cheek. And I'm like, no, this is not how this was supposed to go. And I'm just trying to patch him up with some like bandages I have in my bag or will anything else. That's it.
All right. Kieran. Tash just kind of like puts his head on the ground and puts his paws over his face for a second. Hmm.
Um, an embarrassment. And then drops the, whoa, trumps the wild shape and has cure wounds on the dude just to keep him alive. Okay. Cool.
How much is he healed for? Can we say that I still have like my hands on him? Sure. Like whispering like, Hey, sorry about that.
But we don't want to fight you anymore. I think that we're maybe a little stronger than you. He sort of wakes up with a start and then blitz it you and doesn't say anything yet. Okay.
Sorry. I just wanted that was supposed to be a warning shot. And I'm scooch behind the back around behind this rock. Okay.
Well, yeah, I got to remember the rocks are there. Um, Hazel. It's your turn. Who's Hazel?
Sorry. Hector rounds. I keep going back and forth between player names and character names. I'll just look at the kind of bones over and it's like, Okay, you're, you're militia has been called.
However, many more there you either are. I suggested to you, you just all go go and leave. You're all alive again. You know, I think that would be the polite respectful thing to do.
Just leave and go find your own. Uh, your own. Your own automaton or whatever to get your reward instead of trying to take hours. It's not very nice.
Um, so I suggest you just go go into the forest and, uh, and skadoodle skadoodle. Okay. This is another persuasion. Sure.
I can do another persuasion. Okay. Uh, 21. Okay.
Well, we will see next. I'm going to discontinue the illusion. We got an orphan to apologize for. They attacked us.
And that's it for me. Okay. Um, come on, run. No reason to be rude.
Okay. No reason to be rude. Wilm. This guy in front of you, he's still looking at you.
Uh huh. With like, he's, he's like, looking at you like, wow, this big person saved me. I thought I was dead. They brought me back.
Do they say, does he say that? He just, he just kind of says, wow. Okay. Your eyes pretty.
I didn't notice before. You're a pretty eye you have. I like smile nervously. And I say, you should probably rest.
Thank you. But, um, you just have like a really bad experience. And you should have a really bad experience. You shouldn't be thinking about how pretty I am right now.
You just sort of nods. Um, and then close his eyes. Like he's going to just will himself to sleep. Okay.
Will himself. Is overwhelmed. So, so three more guys arrive. But because Hazel, or sorry, Hector has been so persuasive.
This guy here says, you know what? It's not worth it. And they all leave together. They take their, their previous leader with them.
Sure. You know what? One of them comes over and it's like, boss, come on, we got it. You got to come with us.
Um, but they definitely leave behind some stuff because they're in such a hurry. So, one of them leaves their bag behind and we are out of initiative. And that is absolutely not where I thought that was going to go. I grab the bag and say, you forgot your bag.
They can't hear you. That's your bag. Now. Do you think we should get some uniforms like that?
No, I like my, I like my coat. Okay. I mean, we could all get coats like yours. I like it.
I mean, I'm not going to stop you. I don't think that they make coats like that in my size. It would be really expensive. Okay.
Well, I don't want to. I don't like looking like other people. Okay. Okay.
That's fair enough. He just kind of just kind of just side eyes you. Speaking of which, who are you again? I'm grunting dirt beard.
Okay. Okay. Okay. Also also nicks and my face, my face ripples and you see a shadow of Gelly's face.
Oh, that's that's neat. You've got a lot of faces and I don't have any. Hmm. Good boy.
Next, do you have like a catalog of faces so that I can remember who may or may not be you? I'll let you know. All right. Okay.
Did you want to look through that bag? You got or do anything else? Oh, yeah. We can look through the bag.
Yeah. Okay. So there's not much in there. There's a spy glass with a cracked lens.
It's about 20 silver pieces and there is a letter that has already been opened, but it's still been sort of shut back into its envelope. And it has a seal wax seal that's still on it. Okay. Well, let's what the silver needs to take five.
I want to be the letter. Cool. It is a letter of rejection that I have not bothered to actually write up the full text of. So I'll just paraphrase it.
It seems that this particular adventurer applied to become a member or I guess maybe an employee of the Dragon's Bane mercenary company and was rejected. So this is just sort of a form letter saying thank you for your interest, but we're going to move forward with another candidate at this time or, you know, fantasy equivalent of such. Please don't we saw that makes sense. And that's what the seal on the envelope is is it's their emblem or their logo.
What is it? It looks sort of like a dragon's head with a sword through it. Okay. Do we or do any of us know anything about this, Mark Guild?
Like are they really prestigious? I don't know anything about them. I'm trying to remember where everyone is from. I feel like Will may have come across them because Will has traveled a bunch and stuff.
Okay. Yeah, we'll go with history checks for anyone who wants to see if they know anything about them. I got a 12. Anyone else rolling?
I think really hard. I guess. I think of the 12 and a 16. Well, you've definitely heard of them.
You know that they are like a pretty big company. Like they seem to be in a lot of places. They seem to be well represented across the continent from what you can tell. You don't really know any of the details.
You don't know how good they necessarily are at their jobs or what kind of reputation they have. But you've seen them around. You recognize the logo in the name. With that 16, you know the same thing.
And I think you also know that as far as mercenary companies go, they're sort of the one that builds themselves as like a professional security solution kind of thing. Like they're like, no, no, no, no, we're not we're not mercenaries. We're like security contractors. And that's sort of what their whole deal is.
And you think that they the name has something to do with the people who founded it, but you don't really remember the story behind that. I will cast exposition. And really that should be a spell. I think there's just a little stuck out.
Well, I mean, the letter sort of implies that, I guess. Yeah. They turn people away this often that they have a form letter. Should we move or do we sit here and keep waiting for them to come back?
I think that we should wait. It seems like maybe we like we want the credit for this, right? Like they could come back if we leave or somebody else could. OK.
If anyone else comes, let's not kill them. OK. Sorry. No, I mean, I have certainly had time to my life where I was more powerful than I realized to.
I just mostly wanted to say I didn't I mostly just wanted to scare them. It's kind of a genius plan when you think about it. It's just I can't cast that spell when I'm a bear. So I wanted to have it ready.
Yeah. I'll let you do talking first. Next time I'll just turn to a bear. You can feel free to do the talking.
Just feel free to not do the killing potential people who are just being slightly. Sorry. They kind of scared me. That's totally fair.
All right. I'll try not. I'll. I'll go back.
Cool. Cool. So you all wait. We'll say this counts as a short rest.
If anyone needs that for restoring anything and eventually we're going to say the same wagon that brought you guys out here with the dog. Which I believe was pulled by like a team of donkeys. Rolls up. But this time there's a couple of like low level like Imperial Guardsmen type of guys.
They say, Oh, you found something. Huh? Or is this another accident? We had we had an accident earlier.
An accidental detonation. They would be someone's argue. They couldn't remember because we had such a long key phrase to activate the rod and they started arguing over what it was one of them said it while they were holding it. And anyways, you don't care about that.
That's a whole thing. Let's see what you got here and they walk over and they look and they're like, Oh, no, they actually found something. We didn't think anyone actually find anything. I guess that means the governor is going to have to actually come up with a reward.
Doesn't it? And all that skin flint. He's going to find a way to find a way to weasel out of paying these people. And then they realize that you guys can tell here.
They're like, Oh, no, not you. We're talking about something else. And they say, So why don't you all get back? Help us.
Help us pull this into the back of the wagon here and hop on and we'll all ride back to town. I'll handle it. All right. And so is there anything you guys wanted to do or talk about on your ride back?
Nothing. I can really think of. All right. So you guys were up.
Well, I guess actually you were probably more up here if you were by. The river. And now you are going back down here. That that didn't mean anything to the podcast listeners.
Ah, thank you, Theron. I sometimes forget that this is being recorded for a podcast and not just a friendly game because you're all my friends and I love you all. So we are looking at a world map that I assume will be put onto the the the Twitter, the Land of Shell Twitter at some point. There's sort of a forested area that's up at the upper reach.
Oh, I forgot to put the country names on this map. Anyway, there's a pink country in the middle and it's sort of at the northern border between the pink country and the purple country, which the pink country is Rayori and then the purple country is Steinfell to the north. So they were sort of at the border there between Rayori and Steinfell. And you're taking one of these long winding dotted line roads back down to Grazurm Histra, which is the city you all started at.
Thank you for listening to Legends of Shell. Our GM this season is Ivy. Hey, that's me. You can follow me on Twitter at esoteric 90s IP.
Hector is played by Hazel Snap. Follow her on Twitter at hazel underscore dot underscore basil. Wilm is played by Theron Snap. Follow them on Twitter at explosive runes and visit Theron dot card dot co that's card with two bars to learn about their podcast transcription side hustle.
Task is played by Kieran and Nix is played by David. You can't find either of them on Twitter, but they both lurk in our Discord server. The Forgotten Army theme is Brain Drain by Christ Clark. You can find him at Christ Clark dot bandcamp dot com.
Additional music credits can be found in the show notes. This show is a Land of Shell production edited by Theron staff and made possible through generous donations on our Ko-fi page. If you like the show, you can subscribe to us or make a one-time contribution at Ko-fi that's k-o-f-i dot com slash Land of Shell. You'll get access to bonus content either way.
To learn more about the players, characters, and other shows from Shell, visit landofshell.net or check us out on Twitter at landofshell. Until next time, happy travels. Who's Grunt dirtbeard? What makes you think that I'm in charge?
That's a good question. Who is Grunt dirtbeard? I'm Grunt dirtbeard. I wonder if maybe it was you.