S2E10 Sexual Pleasure After Trauma with Sexologist Dr. Holly Wood

This week, we’re talking about reclaiming sexual pleasure after experiencing sexual violence or trauma.The TabooThe main taboo of this episode is the idea that survivors of sexual violence can—and deserve to—experience sexual pleasure again, even while still healing from trauma.Links + Resources* Dr. Holly’s YouTube channel* The Holly Wood Sexologist* The Blog* Dr. Holly on Instagram* Free resourcesThe Guest ExpertDr. Holly Wood is a highly respected expert in the field of sex therapy. With a PhD in Human Sexuality, certification as an AASECT-certified sex therapist, and board certification as a clinical sexologist through the American Board of Sexology, Dr. Holly blends her deep expertise with a warm, inclusive approach. She’s spent years helping individuals and couples navigate the complexities of sexual health, intimacy, trauma recovery, and relationships, offering evidence-based insights in a way that’s both engaging and easy to understand. Dr. Holly is passionate about creating safe, judgment-free spaces for exploring sexuality and empowering people to embrace their authentic selves.📍 Orange County, California, USA“ Whatever you want to share about your story is your choice. If you feel comfortable to share some of that with your partner at whatever level feels okay for you …Even just like, ‘I’ve had really bad sexual experiences,’ very like surface level helps to signal to your partner that there are things that might come up— that triggers might come up —that have absolutely nothing to do with your partner, but there’s a reason why I might react a certain way.”Key TakeawaysSexual trauma isn’t always violent—and it’s still valid.Many survivors struggle to name or validate their experiences because they don’t fit the stereotypical mold of “real” assault. Coercion, pressure in relationships, lack of enthusiastic consent, and internalized people-pleasing all fall under the spectrum of sexual violence. If it wasn’t a full yes, it matters—and it counts.Pleasure after trauma is possible, but healing isn’t linear.Reconnecting with pleasure can start far from the bedroom—with everyday sensory experiences like taste, texture, and touch. It’s not about jumping into sex, but about gently rebuilding safety, autonomy, and connection with your own body—at your pace, on your terms.Healing in relationship can be part of the recovery.You don’t have to be “healed” to deserve love or intimacy. If you’re in a safe partnership, healing with someone can be profoundly supportive. Communication, consent, and co-regulation become the foundation for trust—and for rewriting what intimacy can feel like.Time Stamps* 2:25 | Defining sexual trauma* 11:08 | Dr. Holly’s story* 14:28 | How do you know if you have had a sexually traumatic experience?* 17:14 | How cis women are socialized as people pleasers* 20:45 | Sexual pleasure after sexual violence* 26:45 | Exercises and practices for pleasure* 33:21 | Conversation starters This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit micahlarsen.substack.com