S2E20 "I Wanted to Help Him...Jump Out The Window" A Therapist Meets Her Shadow with Carol Smaldino

Ever met the part of yourself you swore didn't exist? Carol Smaldino—78-year-old therapist and shadow work veteran—tells the story of the moment she realized she had rage she didn't know existed. A scary kid. A fourth-floor window. And the thought: "I could help him jump." That's where the real work began. This is shadow work—Carl Jung's concept of owning the parts of yourself you're terrified to acknowledge. The anger. The cruelty. The selfishness. The darkness you shove down because "good people" don't feel that way. Except they do.And when you ignore your shadow? It doesn't disappear. It organizes. Carol's been doing this work for decades as a therapist, a recovering "nice girl," and the creator of Dr. Ethel—her irreverent, orange-clad alter ego. She's worked with abused kids, multi-problem families, and her own psyche. And she's learned that vulnerability without protection is just exposure. That humor can be holy. And that sometimes the most radical thing you can do is admit: "You're better at being mean than me." 💥IN THIS EPISODE:The scary kid who pushed Carol to her breaking pointWhy "understanding" trauma isn't enoughHow people-pleasing abandons the selfThe birth of Dr. Ethel (English accent, zero filter)Vulnerability as courage vs. performanceWhy kids should be in chargeTIMESTAMPS:0:00 – Intro: The Nice Girl & The Shadow1:30 – Carol's Story: Playing Psychologist at 118:45 – The Scary Kid Who Changed Everything15:20 – "You're Better at This Than Me": The Breakthrough22:10 – What Shadow Work Actually Means30:15 – Dr. Ethel is Born (Orange Coat & All)38:40 – Vulnerability Needs Protection45:30 – Why Kids Should Run the World52:15 – Carol's Books & Where to Find Her55:00 – Closing Thoughts: The Shadow Doesn't Disappearℹ️ABOUT CAROL: Carol is a licensed clinical social worker, author of "The Human Climate: Facing the Divisions Inside Us and Between Us" and "Vulnerability Protected: Visions of a Dancing Mind" Find her at www.thehumanclimate.com and follow Dr. Ethel on Instagram.📚GET CAROL'S BOOKS: Available on AmazonThis is Passion From Pain—where we mine the mess.If this stirred something, good. That's the shadow knocking.💥Get You FREE Guide:👉"FROM CONFUSION TO CLARITY: 10 Signs of a Manipulative & Menatlly Abusive Relationship"https://get.passionfrompain.com/from-confusion-to-clarityGet your free roadmap to rebuilding after abuse: www.passionfrompain.com CONNECT: Subscribe, comment, like, download!IG: @amy.pease.rox TikTok: @og.passionfrompainCopyright 2026. All Rights ReservedBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/passion-from-pain--6594412/support.🔥🎙️Pain Made You Strong!  Passion Made Your Unstoppable!🎙️🔥