S2E6 Disorganized Attachment x Relationship OCD x Attachment Parenting x Living Room Kids

This week, friend of the pod and therapist Grace Bithell returns to talk about disorganized attachment, the least understood and most taboo of the attachment styles.We talk about:* What disorganized attachment looks like and where it comes from* The overlaps between disorganized attachment, C-PTSD, relational OCD, and borderline personality disorder* Living room and bedroom kids* How to handle disorganized attachment as it plays out in your relationships* What we get wrong about attachment parentingThe TabooDisorganized attachment comes from a dynamic where your adults are “scared” and “scary.” It often stems from childhood experiences where the caregiver—the person who was supposed to keep you safe—was also the source of fear, neglect, abuse, or emotional unpredictability.Links + Resources* 📱 Follow Grace on Instagram* 🎧 Grace’s Podcast: The Guilt Girl* 🆓 Schedule a free 15-min phone consult with Grace* ✍🏻 Grace’s blogKey Takeaways1. Disorganized Attachment Is a Survival Strategy, Not a Character FlawThis attachment style forms in childhood when caregivers are both a source of safety and a source of fear. That contradiction wires the nervous system to crave intimacy while fearing it, leading to push-pull dynamics in adult relationships.You’re not broken… you adapted to an unsafe environment.2. It’s the Most Misunderstood Attachment Style Because It’s MessyDisorganized attachment doesn’t fit neatly into categories. It involves both anxious and avoidant behaviors, and often gets confused with (or misdiagnosed as) borderline personality disorder, C-PTSD, or relational OCD.3. Healing Is Possible, but It Happens in Relationships, Not IsolationAttachment wounds happen in relationships, and they also heal in relationships. You don’t need to be perfectly “secure” to deserve love—but you do need to practice rupture and repair, learn to pause, and take small, uncomfortable steps toward safety.Coming up on Season 2:* Intimacy after sexual assault with Dr. Holly Wood* Fertility and food* Money x power x peace of mind* Nesting and nutrition… and a lot more.Become a paying subscriber for just $8/month USD to support the show and get access to all bonus content. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit micahlarsen.substack.com