S3 E:27 Healing Past Childhood Trauma

Send us Fan MailWendy returns for reunion episode.  Per listener request Matt shares some of his own personal trauma and how it impacted his relationships before and after his resolution.  Below is the poem I wrote when I was 33.  This is how raw the feelings were back then.  Thankfully the pain has been healed.  I am a bastard, thanks to you.I bet 33 years ago you never imagined,your polluted seed would createthe man that stands hereI N V I S I B L E Did you think your whimsical germinationwould harbor feelings of resentment powerful enoughto create the persona I have built my existence on? Or does my illegitimacy deny me the right to claim this hatred I have for you. I can’t comprehend the void of feelingHeld within your perverse coreThat would allow you to give me awayForgotten and packed, out of your sightOut of your mind, like a stuffed animalLeft on the side of the roadBatteredLonelyDamaged…onlySomewhere out there is a child who mournsIts loss, helplessly pleading with the parents to save it, before the unthinkable happens. Or did it already happen?   Lifeless cloth shell swollen with cottonhas more value, than I  to you.  I can relateI have fonder memories of my own toys. Of course they were in my life more oftenI protected them with every ounce of my soulI hugged when they were sad I kept them company when they were alone.Unconditional love, whatever that isAnd no one ever had to ask them why they didn’t have a father?Or “Why doesn’t he love you?Or what did you do to make him leave? But I’m the bastard.Packsaddle son swaddled in ragsand left out for the Monday night trash.That’s what you did to me.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-dieLicense code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae. Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.  Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or [email protected]