S3 - EP29 - A spinal tumour, a newborn, and a pandemic: Laura Plowman on love and loss

In this episode Rosie Moss speaks with Laura Plowman, who lost her partner Gavin to terminal cancer just months after the birth of their son. A former police officer, Laura shares her journey of love, loss and survival with breathtaking honesty and quiet strength.Laura and Gavin met through work in 2018, their relationship moving quickly from first dates to buying a home and welcoming a baby in June 2020. But their new family life was abruptly upended when Gavin collapsed in their garden and was diagnosed with an aggressive spinal tumour. Just five weeks after symptoms began, doctors told them his cancer was incurable, with a prognosis of only 12 to 18 months.Laura describes becoming both a new mother and a caregiver to her paralysed husband. She shares tender and painful memories: their backyard wedding, Gavin’s choice to stop chemotherapy in favour of quality time, his voice notes recorded for their son, and the mixture of dark humour and fragile intimacy that helped them endure. “It was beautiful, yet horrendous, yet unfair,” Laura reflects of Gavin’s final hours, a line that captures the raw and contradictory landscape of this conversation.Now parenting their child alone, Laura speaks about helping him grieve a father he will never truly know, rediscovering moments of joy, and leaning on therapy, music and widow communities for strength. Her story is devastating and hopeful, full of love, loss and the small ways life carries on.This conversation explores:Laura’s whirlwind love story with Gavin, from awkward first impression to cohabitation, engagement and parenthoodThe devastating collapse in the garden that led to a terminal diagnosis five weeks laterBalancing medical treatment with quality of life as Gavin chose to end chemotherapyFragile and intimate moments: a backyard wedding, shared hospital jokes and voice notes for their baby sonFacing death together, from syringe drivers to spirituality to Gavin’s final hoursNavigating solo parenting and helping a young child grieve a parent they will never fully knowRediscovering life through therapy, music and widow support communities where grief and laughter coexist