S3 Ep96 Becks Cant: Renegotiating Identity

Bex shares her story from early life in London, shaped by a loving family and growing up fast while her mum lived with MS and her dad worked decades in policing. She reflects on a career filled with both extraordinary moments and real trauma, and the pull she’s always felt to “give back” by passing on what works beyond policing into everyday leadership, work, and relationships.A core theme is self-awareness. Bex talks through the “iceberg” exercise she uses with negotiators: what people see on the surface versus what sits underneath values, beliefs, emotional drivers, past experiences. Her point is simple: you can’t lead well, help well, or negotiate well if you don’t understand what’s driving you first.From there, she makes negotiation practical and human. Active listening is the foundation. Seek to understand someone’s perspective before trying to move them. Earn trust through tone, pace, and presence not just words. She also warns against “preset scripts,” and offers softer, more opening language like “Tell, Explain, Describe,” instead of sharper “what/why” questions that can land as accusatory.The conversation closes on transition and resilience. Leaving the police wasn’t clean or easy especially alongside losing her mum because it brought grief, identity loss, and the sudden absence of structure and support. Resilience, for her now, is broader than “cracking on”: it’s building a healthy network, setting personal challenges, choosing work that fits, keeping things fun, and learning to say no without guilt as part of protecting what matters.Reach out to Beks via LinkedIn or her website. Help us improve! I'd love to get your feedback...Forging Resilience supports Save A WarriorSave A Warrior works with veterans and first responders facing complex PTSD and the reality of suicide.Through this podcast, we’re supporting their work.If you want to get behind it, you can do that by buying a bag of  Major Stoke Blend coffee. All profits go directly to Save A Warrior.Good coffee. Real conversations. Work that matters.Support the showFollow my social media accounts | LinkedIn | Instagram |