Welcome to live forever. I'm Dan. I'm Brent and I'm Steve. How you guys doing?
All right. Doing great. Yeah. Yeah, well as you can go Steve's finishing one beer and cracking a new one.
Yes. I don't know which number this is but I'm hitting it pretty good It might be a really good podcast. Yeah, well, I guess I don't know when this one's gonna come out I mean having some more a more a week. It's not really happy though.
This is this is a memorial for those that died Seven more a day to everyone sad no more on it Respectful it's a respectful thing It's kind of a seven one a day for a lot of folks in Charleston because it's been raining all weekend since super shitty fucking cold bro I'm not out of hoodie when I ran into when we ran into Riley the other day. We're like, hey man What's going on this weekend? He was like yeah camping and you know going out to the lake and I'm like Have fun with that outside, bro. Yeah, it's like 66 degrees and raining like it's cold as shit He's like oh, it's gonna be like that all weekend.
Yep. Do you not look at the weather? I mean every bitch not have weather channel weather updates on his phone. It's awful.
Shout out to Riley I'll be Terry painted living room yesterday. It looks good. I know it's when you first came in I knew it was happening. So yes, well, I mean I know what's happening too, but yes, I did notice it It looks good.
I like it. We're still kind of on the fence about it. It's going on me Right repaint it like just one shade lighter lighter. She like cute, right?
I like the way it is. How do you do man? It's kind of a calming see foam green kind of yeah, that's very accurate like a mint green almost mmm-hmm mint choco mint choco so I know I I won the Stupid video game music challenge and we were gonna do the call to Saturn which I'm going to do someday But it's way deeper than I thought it was and I'll be honest I'm not super prepared because I was just gonna be like whoa isn't this shit weird and then the more better right with the rings It goes super deep. I was gonna play the the audio from Cassini which sounds like basically a bunch of people trapped in hell If you haven't heard that nice, it's good.
You should that but I mean I guess we'll talk about it on actual episode that we're doing a little bit so Can we suffice to say that the Saturn black box is going in the flat earth file for the moment bloop. Yeah for the moment Yeah, I'm digging it. I I really don't know that flatter is ever gonna go out I haven't found any compelling evidence like it's fun for me to like play the villain play the you know the fox molder character and Like be like oh, but what about this and try to blow your mind But I can't with flatter. It's not there's nothing compelling enough for me to be like this is maybe real Don't you think it's a little weird that you put globes everywhere?
They're trying to brainwash us, man. Yeah, yeah You can't wrap your head around it ha ha dad joke 2.0. What's your favorite dad joke by the way? Knock knock who's there gorilla gorilla me a cheese sandwich?
Okay? I mean I have a close connection with my daughter with it. So it is. Oh, there you go.
Okay, fair enough I really don't have one both of mine are dirty filthy mine is terrible jokes that I can't tell on the radio or whatever This is podcast mine is the pirate one. Ah God say what do you think a pirate's favorite letter B? I Think so, but be the sea I That was the follow-up fuck you right there exactly that I'm hungry. I'm dead.
That's it Have either of you ever been trapped in a letter? No, surprisingly not with seriously never once. No, I mean all the work that and I mean we can honestly say we've all been involved with Elevators. Yeah, we've always had an elevator key.
So the Concept of trapped in elevator. I still have an elevator key. I was trapped on top of an elevator for that for three hours once fuck that I mean I'm with the elevator guy because If you use that elevator key and you because with the override right go right past the limits go all the way to the top if you hit and for anybody that doesn't know like on a gate or You know any Moving barrier of any kind there's a limit switch that tells the machine. Okay.
This is too far. So there's a safety When you pass the limit on an elevator, right? It trips the safety So I'm in the fucking shaft with the elevator guy that knows how to reset the system And we passed the fucking limit on top of the elevator because we were trying to get to a smoke detector on top of the shaft Is it like a timed out thing now or no? It was not we had to wait on another guy to basically the on call guy to come from Somerville and he was like yeah I'm like an hour out and then it took like another two hours to fucking get everything straight in the shut out So it is not I mean the room we were recording it is pretty small But less than the amount of space that the three of us are sitting right now is me and this other dude Yeah, not comfortable at all.
We're like cramped in like Like you're not part situation Dude it was uncomfortable shit. I would fight a bitch with a party so I'm just gonna ask a bunch of random questions. I'm down. I think this is a floor chicken 2.0, bro.
Exactly Anybody know Okay, everybody knows someone have you ever been close to or experienced an accident with heavy machinery? Like like you've ever seen that shit happen I mean I've been involved a lot because I have a thing I mean Ryan almost cut his hand off what yeah He's like a really bad scar on his thumb where he ran through a miter saw but I mean other than that I mean that's not even that's not even really heavy machinery. I wouldn't consider you know Yeah, but not like a like a like in a factory or no thank God. I don't see I'm forcing or canning incident or some Shoe my Pointy finger on my right hand was caught in a corn sheller as a child damn had to turn it backwards almost cut it off right there Damn I Had a Wells this finger pointing finger on my left hand almost sheered off with a knife I had a stitch with a paltry thread put it back together Pulsry a paltry thread and tequila.
Yeah, I can see that your your other thumb is still healing dude It sucks so bad. What you slice that on that was the chrome under my Fender or something fender well. Yeah, yeah, I had like exposed tendons and shit So I have to keep it moist because it's starting to heal like really tight. Yep So the my get a limitations or movement on it keep the movement.
Yeah, I was on accident from kid I guess it could fucking like random shit. I was like kid in shop class It's actually still pretty visible. I can see it No, I can see my thumb is kind of fucked up right there and there's scar over here and this nail is kind of fucked up Mmm. I got that shit caught in a band saw and Just enough time to pull it and it got halfway through all this fleshy part to this day like I can't really bowl You know your thumb doesn't it like well eventually it's an airlock.
It's too much It's like my Achilles. He'll do like if you pinch me on this thumb really hard. I will fucking drop to my knees It's super painful never give up your weaknesses, bro Not like people are gonna come out of the wood or just grab your thumb. Yeah, somebody mugs me and they're like grab me So one more to add to it.
Yeah weird crook and that weird looking nail. Yeah, see that mixer No, she my whole fucking hand went in that bitch first paddle hit this nail flipped it out Like ripped it out pointing facing the other way Then my hand went in and caught the back of my hand and was just sitting there twerking what so I was like I'll fuck I'm about to lose my hand So I had to hold on to the paddles with my other hand and then disengage it with my foot It was like some Bruce Lee shit. It was amazing It was amazing and then I'm yelling as a guy up on a roof We're doing a chimney and I was like bro. I go to the hospital.
I just got my hand open the team at mixer He's just like okay, okay later. Bye this happens all the time Bye, I was wearing a sub shop and we were cutting pickles and pickles on a meat slicer Oh, and I was like done I was like I can get one more slice of this pickle and I grab my hand to run it through one more time and it caught spun Around spun my finger through it and just sliced a layer off top my finger. Wow. Yeah, so now you can like rob shit If you just use that finger I mean it's just like the tip.
Yeah, I guess the tip that drove a dirt bike off of a cliff one time What are we talking about a cliff cliff or like well? Let's see I was probably 14 and it was there's probably a 10-foot cliff So it wasn't like huge I mean on a dirt bike though That's still gonna fuck it up well I'm going up hill and I stalled out and I cranked it You know trying to give it extra gas cuz I'm up hill now and I gave it too much gas and I wheelied off the cliff and somehow when I landed The bike landed on top of me. I have like scars on my back from it. Damn dude another time.
I was riding um I was riding a thanks damn I was riding a dirt bike in a tank top and I was trying to do a wheelie and I Fell halfway off my hand was still in the gas and my arm landed on the back wheel and gas and Skin off the side of my arm shit. They're bikes are fun though. I'm gonna want one. I've never written well That's not true.
I've written a dirt bike on the street, but that's not the same No, I wrote a dirt bike my cousin's had him up in North Carolina and uh all the brainies and her family and friends I went out and floated like if you say oh, I got a bike. They need four wheeler Which I never considered before with our bike, but yeah, yeah interesting. I don't know start that in there It's a motorized vehicle with four wheels. Yeah back home in Indiana You know how golf carts are around South Carolina, especially in Charleston Ridiculous, yeah, they drive them.
I see the guy driving to Walmart like park his shit like he was like yeah I'm meant to be here. Whoop back home in Indiana. That's how four wheelers are dude You'll see like on fringe roads in town people be sipping up and down the road in on four wheelers going to the store Yeah, they'll just ride them around like wow this is just how I get around you know brainies I'd use the race three wheelers those are dangerous whoa this thing's a role so easy I told my grandmother's yard up with a three wheeler. I dropped it back and it hit the little wheelie bar and literally just kind of trench And my grandfather's just sitting there fucking live it just screaming at me get off that part oh it's terrible Speaking of factory accidents anybody ever working at factory.
Nope like on assembly line or ever doing you that kind of shit I went from shop saw in either shop saw electronic sales to what I do now Okay, so there was a brief moment in life where I worked out of factory where we made apple fritters apple fritters Yeah, it was right outside of the it was right next to the big town of Smyrna There was another tiny ass town called Clayton and right outside of that was a little warehouse or a factory They made like apple fritters stick your head on the machine like just fill me up. No No, my like literally had to sit there in like a sorting bin just like not weird shaped fucking frozen apple fritters off That's weird. That's a ice plant count. I mean a little bit plant isn't it?
Well, I mean it was literally like I delivered ice for like two days. This is a crazy story man for real So I worked at an ice plant and literally it was this really old cranky fucking German guy who had a book They kept telling me I need to read it's called das mogan And it was literally like the German how to be a boy how to be a girl like Yeah, it was weird to see your confusion It was like how to be like a thing I'm gonna write this down We need to find the so most of the ice would come out in these great big blocks And my job was to sit on the one side of the blue but dump over grab it with ice tongs pick it up and stand it up So this was back before like refrigerated No This was just a big I asked fucking plant where they would make big blocks ice and I kept the job for a while and then we had a big Sunday dinner at my mom's parents my grandparents And my great grandfather lost his shit. He's like you need to quit that job right now No, no, no, no, no, he went off and like I didn't understand why Apparently before him his dad or one of his uncles worked in an ice thing and a huge block of ice fell off a ceiling and killed him No, shit So he was like he wanted me to quit that job fucking immediately He's like don't even be around that you know he would never tell me why but it was other family members I have when I hear about people wanting to be like on motorcycles. Yeah, I'm like don't do that shit anymore Yeah, yeah my grandfather actually in high school.
Well, okay after high school and after Korea Came back and was one you've probably seen him in like cartoons or maybe even some old movies You know because people used to have ice boxes, right? Yeah, that's why I was asking it. That's what he was making No, yeah, that's what my grandfather did like he actually you know They're like the big tongs. Yeah, and then like you would carry the fucking giant block of ice on your back and load it in somebody's box Carry it into somebody's house and fucking put it in a giant box that was intended to be like a refrigerator Hmm it's weird rent like that's how that's how before like they figured out how they could make ice They were just going out and fucking frozen lakes cutting that shit.
Yeah, they still really yeah They would cut ice off a big frozen fucking lakes and deliver it. I'm sure people like an elasto It's a solid block it melts way slower so then then you know crushed ice or snow So if you have like down in a cellar, which already like 50 something degrees. Yeah, it's crazy the house I grew up in had a In the basement there was actually a little flap that was designed to receive coal Oh, the old shoot. Yeah a coal shoot for like the cold furnace and you slid down that a bunch of the kid in you No, it was sealed up.
Yeah, we weren't allowed to touch it. I had a broken it open So this is a different question best compliment you've ever received hmm like you know, there's that whole Stigma that that dudes especially like aren't accustomed to getting compliments and they kind of stick with you for a long time You have a very fine penis surf. Yeah, well actually I saw my dad if you got that one time And it really threw me off like we were at lows and I was probably like 16 You know I was older and you know this young young girl working at lows probably like in her early 20s It's like you have beautiful eyes. I was like wow never heard like anyone compliment a guy like that Yeah, it's odd right well I mean like compliment of any kind not necessarily like you know, I chick hitting on you I'm just saying like I mean my wife says I'm very smart, but I don't have potential You're so smart, but why do you waste it?
Yes? does I was playing a like a drinking game and I don't even remember how it came up in college and One of the things was like you had to give a believable compliment to the other people at the table And this dude that I didn't know super well But he lived next door to me in college and like you know, we kind of hung out a little bit and when he looked at me He was like you're very patient. Huh, and I'm like, man. That's pretty profound man That's that's a pretty good compliment dude like especially when you don't really know me that well and you're saying that I'm a patient person Well, I would consider myself kind of patient very like I and maybe it's just I deal with a lot of bullshit and don't get upset Yeah, I kind of go the same route like I've never It's whatever, you know, and that's I mean being around different people too I mean if you're not around people that are like in tune apparently all my friends that I've ever hung out with have been pretty fucking shallow Thought about right now I mean that you thought about after we're like yeah that one chick said I had nice shoes or some shit I know nothing ever talk about my my my handsome voice And I've actually had a lot of compliments on that I actually had a lady at a lawyer's office said she was just out of the blue She's like I don't mean to defend you and I hope you don't take this the wrong way I was like go ahead she goes your voice is amazing and I was like wow it really is you should hear me whisper Do you want it harder?
I mean I can't lie. That's one of the big reasons. I wanted you on the show was your voice kind of sexy Yeah, it is sexy. Do yeah, I like it when I was doing stand-up I had someone when I got off stage was like oh my god dude.
You're like so fucking funny and I was like wow Yeah, that's a pretty good compliment hell. Yeah, especially you don't stand up. Yeah, like somebody to come up Do you like do your funnier shit. Yeah, yeah, I mean When you're doing stand-up at all folks on the line.
No, just What about Madam Yousal? Yeah along that same line one that definitely stuck with me for a while was I Wasn't really in a band, but one of my roommates in college And I like did some open mics and just play guitar and saying he actually had some really good original songs and there were There was a group of people that like kept coming back to see us nice and like this one dude was like that's pretty dope So hyped about it. He was like what's up, bro? You guys are awesome I brought like 10 people to see you guys because he was like so hyped He was like men's guys are fucking dope.
You got a company everybody. Yeah, they're gonna I thought that was a huge compliment. I'm like really you guys actually like came back to see us again And you brought people apart hard though. I mean like to heat for me.
I don't know how to take compliments I don't think it's really like it's really weird like cuz I mean typically men You know don't get complimented about a lot of things like women get complimented all the time like you're beautiful You know, right? Well, I'll see if you have like kids or a family or your home, you know Or like somebody complimenting your yard. That means to a dude. That's like I mean even like my boss or your work.
Yeah, we're to a dude like if somebody compliments your work My boss is gonna be like, hey man, just just say you know like your rocks are around here And I'm like, yeah, shucks. Thanks guy. I'm kind of rock star everywhere be it So I guess a moral of that story is you know throughout some compliments everyone's a while man Tell us you appreciate what they're doing. Don't be afraid to email us with compliments Oh Absolutely, but go to my you're only fan and I operate that way just like in life Like if I'm rolling around and I see somebody like with a dope shirt or you know, yeah, I've done that for like Hey man, that's awesome.
Yeah, I get that a lot. I get that sometimes too Like somebody will see me in some fucking I said about your sweat earlier. Yeah, exactly now one thing you'll find when you get older I compliment kids parents now like if I'm in a store and a kid says excuse me or You know bigger pardon or please or thank you I'm like where's your mom and I'm like you've raised a fucking great kid because kids nowadays don't know the fuck shit There's adults now. They don't know.
Please. Thank you. Excuse me or whatever like when I'm at the store Dude, it's like I'm I fucking gears time. I'm at Walmart If I say excuse me that means I'm walking in front of you or right on you or something at least acknowledge it, you know Like oh no problem.
I have some other fuckers. I just like I have all neighbors neighborhood I'll drive by and I'll wave and they'll look up at me as I wave and then they'll just look back down I'm like I hope you get back our yeah, like because that means something to you and I it's like that's me taking And it may only be a few seconds out of my life. Hey, I took the effort to wave. How hard is it to lift your arm?
Yeah, we're talking about how many people right now, but I'm gonna slap my neighbor Jack in the face for doing his air Well, he knows that you do this on Sundays. Why is he why is he leaf flowing right now? Everything's wet dude. It's been raining for two days and dudes out there with a leaf lower.
He just wants me invited on Show. Yeah, that would be a show Anyway, next one you playing instruments piano Do you really guitar a little bit? I want to say a little bit. I mean like I know a few chords I can do anything Dang, right?
Um, what was that thing? I'm going to be anything but uh, I mean growing up. I played the clarinet. I played the cello.
No shit I know this about you. Oh, that's you were you in band or orchestra band? No shit. How long were you in band?
One year for each one year for each I'm not I'm not known to keep my hobbies. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah You're like me. Yeah, the attention span of a fan fleet.
It's like oh something else shiny and bright. I'm very much I got a goblin mind on to the next shiny like if Steve told me that he has fucked around with a pan flute or some shit I wouldn't be surprised. Um, actually I played saxophone at school. No shit.
Yeah, and fucking suck how many years? Not even a whole year like you're like fuck this too much stress. It is I Can play a Jews art really good. Absolutely.
Very good to a what? Moringa. Moringa. Oh, like like the metal cell phone.
Yeah, like the metal cell phone. It wouldn't want to mean that's no I tried playing guitar and I could play one or two riffs. Yeah Like a song is kind of like I can play the intro to like wish you were here. I think that's about it.
Yeah, it's pretty good I'm free-falling. It's pretty easy one. Oh, yeah, I might have been the first time I learned no the first time I learned was Disarmed from smash and pump. Yeah, nice.
So you play guitar obviously a little bit anything else You're pick up a banjo. I'm always going to learn a banjo. It's tough man I Have been tempted many times to pick up a ukulele. I can also see my daughter had a leaky sleep plan.
I always wanted to play bass I tried bases dope a little bit and I Think it was like it was like bah bah bah bah bah bah and that was literally the only song I knew was like smoke on the water. Yeah, I've never I don't have rhythm to like play drums. I could never yeah, so confusing Like I see people play like how do you get all the different things? Yeah, it's too many things at the same time Like for the longest time I couldn't sing and play guitar at the same time because I just couldn't Concentrate separate my brain into singing and playing at the same time.
It's really difficult You had a mad riff going last weekend, bro. I'm trying to try to get a little chords Yeah, but dude, I had a whole song behind that. Yeah, I should practice it on a Sunday Yeah, they're talking about bring my guitar over so you can string it for me. Yeah, I just had it take me like fucking 10 minutes But I will say this I am about to endeavor when I say that I mean, you know It could be anywhere between now and the time that I die Yeah, so I endeavor to do a three string Viking violin called a tray something I can't pronounce the word And a shaman drum which I really want to make my own How would yeah, if you would have said like pongos earlier, I'd be like I get it.
Yeah, I've been in a few drum circles With the fucking skin drums stretched over, you know people Ever do any like sort of talent show I mean stand up comedy Like yeah, I mean like in school like I did a porno one We had a few things that we did like we would have a talent show and yeah, what you do I mean my brother did comedy stuff. Did you really? Yeah? I had this little thing where one of us would be in a regular t-shirt and the other one would like put pants on our arms And so we would be like the legs and so like the person be tall I'm like kicking around yeah kid stuff never never I was always downtrodden on my town All my talents were just restricted until I got older and I was like I am so talented I never did talent shows.
I was in several plays and musicals actually really yeah I don't recall being well when I used to go to church I was part like as an adult I helped with the youth group and we would put on plays for them every week I mean really if we're gonna call that then every Sunday. I was an altar. Oh, yeah I was definitely in church wire. I mean I was in a choir when I was in my thing friends But I did have a poem published one time really yeah, I got a bunch of poach I want to get out there bro.
Yeah, I used to love it. I do the written word shit where it's not there's no rhyme No, I am a pentameter Enough, it's just like it's like Jim Morrison shit just straight from the heart. Yeah, and that's the biggest problem I'm having a fair my hair stands wild I got some dope ones man like when I read them people they're not like Slam poetry Ever had a massive wardrobe malfunction. Oh, yeah I don't mean like shit your pants, but that would also be hilarious I'm saying like like you know something tears or breaks or pops off This is happening multiple times I'm a pretty large dude, and I enjoy dancing and I have ripped my pants multiple times dancing And I'm sure in the opportunity places weddings clubs.
Yes, and it just rips right the back end just blows out Yeah, ass blows out. Yeah, cuz you're twerking at a He drops it like it's hot and it's too hot. It's just too hot. I don't think I have I mean I can't think of any like good for you.
I mean honestly, I really can't at least twice I have Rip my pants in the crotch. Yeah at work. Oh, yeah I mean that's I mean like straight balls out I'm just working away, and then I look down and I'm like oh shit There's a giant hole in my crotch and then I have to like I mean I've caught my leg up for and it opened up like rip the leg down to the bottom like I have to go home now because it looks like I'm half jeans half short shorts anybody ever lose a button on their pants. Oh, yeah like at work Yeah, yeah, that's a good time you start hunting like safety pins or wire or anyone ever wear pants without a button and just put on a Belt because they're the best man Jeff.
Yeah, absolutely anybody ever have a P dump on them at work. What oh, yeah Oh, yeah, I mean P dumped on you like hey like this now It was it was also actually but it was still I would call this a war-brog malfunction It was when I was with the S place. Yep, and we were working on an all girls school downtown It's a worst place for a guy. Oh my god, so I'm running this wire and I it's so weird like I noticed this cup Oh, no sitting in the corner, huh?
And like I guess instinctually I was like that's something there's something shady about that cup But I'm gonna continue to push wire two stories down Boop something happen somebody's doing something and this cup spills over and it literally piss all over my pants. No way I was on the third floor. Oh my god general contractor was in his trailer outside on the first floor Obviously could hear me lose my shit, and I fucking went home. I'm like dude I've got somebody else's pee on me.
I didn't sign up for this be different. I was like hey P on me Yeah, I think you might be aware of this but I think last year I was working at the jail Oh, no, and so in the water closet where we had a smoke detector I'm up like trying to change the shit because it got wet and it was still leaking and I'm up there I'm like I'm like getting on my face. Oh, it's not on my shirt my pants and then the fucking what's his name Tom? I'm like hey man.
Where's the sleep coming from like it's it's sprinkler what is like? I mean, I think it's a sewer pipe run off and I'm like what dude and so he calls maintenance they come down and they're like You probably don't want to get in you then on you and I'm like it's got it's all over me It's all over you. Yeah, so I'm going home forever I mean you know how I am about fucking germs anyway I won't drink after people and shit like that and I immediately called Greg and I'm like I'm going home. Yeah Yeah, yeah, I'm like dude.
I've got I've got I don't know what I mean I have telling you know I need to go home and burn these clothes on the way These calling like medical supply companies Fucking hydrogen peroxide you have if we get a fuck out. Yeah, I can imagine that would be so fucking pissed Yeah, it would be done so gives me shit about it There's been times where I've like crawled under house and I'm crawling and there's a puddle I don't think I'm like oh, that's definitely like an animal pee. Yeah, fuck underneath houses man. Yeah, too Well for that shit.
What are your uh, how how extensively have you been outside the United States? Canada Mexico, baby, oh Bahamas cruise, Texan, Caicos, or is it it's off a cue button? Okay, whatever that island is off of Florida. I'm planning within the next five years to go to Greece really and or Iceland I'll go with you to Iceland.
That's where my people are from. We were biking grade. You can't pillage fuck that shit. No pillaging Like no pillaging no village raping they just have a horn or like a helmet with horns on it and then like a line through it No biking activity Stop you at the fucking border.
Why are you coming back here? To revisit my greatest you're not allowed here. You guys I was cleaning up my beard today. I was looking into me and I'm like the the lines off my nose are really deep today I'm like, yeah straight like fucking crados today.
Yeah, you do it honestly Dude if there was like a red stripe down one side of your face. I got a question that's in front on your list But would you get a face that too? Oh, I've been thinking about it to be honest with you Yeah, I've been thinking about doing a rune on my cheek right here. Yeah, the red crados stripe on your face that dude I would I really feel like showing up over here one day just with a little paint job done do it just to see I'm done then we'll go to a comic-com together.
I mean obviously I don't have any tattoos So I would not have a face no I have zero. I think you had one at least no, I'm gonna do not want any I can't think of anything I would want forever live forever Yeah, you you trump everyone as far as like regrettable tattoos. Yeah, I have actually thought about this I have my own self-inflicted regrettable tattoo unbeknownst to me and I didn't even think about it when I did it So I was doing a koi fish on a friend of mine's side literally went like from her boob to her hip Right and we were going through different colors that she wanted on this koi fish I'm like alright. Well, let's see what this looks like so I load up a fresh needle and I do this circle on my fucking leg Right, I'll show it to you guys everybody that looks at it is like you got fucking bring worm Ridiculous it's pink and it looks like fucking ringworm I'm like do I want to cover this up or do I want to like use it in the future like if I ever get arrested Automatically, they're gonna be like let's count these dudes tattoos.
Oh shit. He's got a ringworm. We can't put him a general population We got to keep him consolidated tattoo a color palette on your leg That's not bad. I do have the chemical I do have like random lines that a friend of mine wanted to see what different needles the line Wait of so I just did them on yourself I just like a scan you could do it on dude, and you're like cool I'll just go put on a speedo here, and I'll just put them real, you know My my my full high up on my thigh and I've got a bunch of sights that I'm on and everybody's like fake skin There are people that do beautiful work on fake skin, but when they go to real skin they fucking drop the ball really Yeah, because they skin is fake skin is it actually like big skin?
No, it's literally like a synthetic fucking Yeah gross. I've tried it. I'm not great at it, but you put me on real skin and I can do some stuff There's people that take those little babies and silicone babies and tattoo them And it's really fucking frightening because they are like little babies with looking like post Malone shit Yeah, dude like at that buck rock flea market flea market what is up with all the fucking like stuffed animals that are like Flush toys scary babies like with their blood and teeth and shit. Yeah, I don't know people are weird man people are weird as shit And it's common yeah, there's like more than one booth with that type of like six booths with like little baby dolls with like devil horns And like blood coming out of their house.
That's kind of cool I mean, I like that kind of weird shit. It is going to site on Facebook called oddities and stuff and they actually sell it the majority of It's like skulls just deer skulls for skulls. You can get a dash of stuff antlers and stuff because I want to do a Viking headdress for like a shamanic headdress, so I'm looking for deer antlers to make you know this cool shit out of Yeah, I mean I get off on that kind of weird shit. Yeah, maybe you can help me make like a like a shaman headdress Bro, I want to do a female version and a male version because I'm I'm like Like six percent Miami Indian like legit, then we should get together man And I'm like and I wonder if I can figure out like the traditional like Miami shit.
Yeah, like their garb Yeah, but there's different like like what like there's a man like every day Yeah, I mean that wouldn't be too hard to look up. I don't think so either This is an easy question for Brent, but do you gamble I love to gamble? Ah Now do you have a game? Text hold him.
I like blackjack and hold him's great Like if you're at a casino like what you were you going for see if I was like a scene I'd probably just do blackjack, but I do like I do like text on I've never played like poker in a guy any rules on Blackjack double down on do not really I kind of just go by the scene of my pants. It's in his work mine is Split to no, it's not It always split when it's the same card or some kind of rich. It's like eight eight nine's I'll actually know I went out split eight sevens depending on what the dealer had I never hit over 12 Like just really just as a rule just I never hit over 12 events And I understand that it loses often It really does out on there has it does depend on what the dealer has and it depends on if the people at your table are fucking retarded Yeah, because they'll keep they'll screw up the deck. Yes if they keep And screw things up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah the dealers the dealer has a five. No one hit they're gonna bust like Yeah, see I don't yeah my idea gambling is like Stating up to pee It could roll over the side of my nuts or I could hit the toilet or maybe I should just sit down for this Yeah, yeah, and that becomes the thing when you get older by the way It's just you hunt hunch better at all let a hunch better like your bed and horses. You're like you like let to yeah I realize my go to at casino and I don't know why always bad on black right what it just heard that Yeah, we're in a movie probably Cardio that's in a Wesley Snipes movie Yeah, late like talk of shit No, it isn't played. I don't remember what it is, but no, I never bet sure it's Wesley Snipes and not Oh, money train.
Oh, it might be money train. I win so the next episode. We're gonna I never do red and black. I so I do like Natural numbers like a little carpet bomb.
Yeah, so like if I'm just kind of feeling a number in particular I'll like stack up like three chips on that number and then I'll like expand out from that and I'll hit like the corner Smart and then I'll hit like a single on the ones around it I usually look at the wheel have a good feeling about a number I look at the wheel and then I played that number plus maybe three on each side Yes, one on each one and I start the same thing you do like either the row that that number's all under the corner Yeah, I'm kind of carpet bomb area. No, I have been doing casino I went to Trump hotel or Trump towers when I'm literally first open in Atlantic City and I met Craig T Nelson Really? Yeah, and the whole day yeah, it was so weird man because I was underage I wasn't even allowed to be in the fucking casino and the whole the whole scenario was just weird The only reason I got to go to Atlantic City was because I was a door-to-door salesman for Kirby vacuums And I fucking sold the most and I got to go fucking it lags it. No shit.
Yeah, you crashed it on Kirby vacuums, bro I can tell you so many stories like tell me your pitch, bro. Oh, I mean everybody had a little cleaner Yeah, yeah, you show up at the door. I'm like I've got this wonderful cleaner Don't know show them how good it works. It's like by the way if you like that I've got this thing right here Kirby vacuum boom you had this whole box and the Kirby vacuum weighed Yeah 50 stones it was like those like carpet cleaners you get from the grocery store totally indestructible that yeah I mean, I almost wish I had a Kirby now.
I have to do the whole like Put dirt on their car people freak out They're like what they do in the minute look how clean but that was the thing because you would always like have this immaculate spot And I would go over like really like push them over the edge every time like when you right now have to clean the rest of my house Exactly like I've got a 2x2 square of looking superior cleanliness and the rest of my house looks like shit What am I gonna use to clean that up either? I'm gonna dirty that spot or I'm just gonna buy your Kirby But no the pushover was how you sold it man like I was never high pressure there was guys and there was like Just up your ass. I'm always just like well, you know, let's talk about it. Let's work it out Let's see where we can get let's come to an agreement here because I want to sell you this vacuum You want to buy this vacuum, you know, should I mind trick their ass?
Yeah, let's make it Let's make it make someone that sex on a deal, bro. Oh, okay, though It was so close she came to the door wasted fucking robe on it was like the classic fucking porno movie I mean hand a god. It was so weird, but it like I'm thinking to myself in a million fucking years Is this really happening? This is like a penthouse forum fucking letter here, bro I showed up at the door with a Kirby in my back pocket She can't do it.
You know a lot of Kirby in your back pocket sir I didn't realize the vacuum wasn't gonna be the only thing sucking tonight, right? That's why bread is comedian. Can you do any magic tricks? Yes?
Yes? What can you do? I'm great at like the little kids in my family like amazing them magic tricks actually we did a magic shop last time I was in Florida and bought a new magic trick Wait, wait like that. Oh, this is my thumb and it's coming off We'll be sitting like at dinner something like grab like the salt shaker up to an afternoon over it And then I'm like I'll make it disappear.
You ready? You can put it on say when I snap it when my hand is gone Right I drop it in my lap and catch it, but you know kids are idiots. It's way easier to better for kids Yes, that's true. You ever do the the thumb thing.
Yeah, but that disappearing now with the disappearing like I've seen a lot of people In bars do it with cigarettes, but it's really to do with the topic where it look you hold it like this and then you go like boom And it's stuck to the back So just like perspective wise it disappears and then I've actually got a pretty good pick a card and I will shuffle the deck and I can tell you what your card is He creases the corner. No, no, no, it's actually pretty simple. You want to tell you how to do it salt I think there's a mathematical equation that actually does that there is but that's not what I do So good because I'm hate you want to tell you how to do this right now I want to know how the magic works because I'm gonna get to come in your friends for I'm a friends Okay, so you take you take just a regular 52 deck of cards you fan them out you say okay pick one and they choose any card doesn't matter Mm-hmm you type, you know take the cards back real tight and then you know you do a little song and dance So that they don't notice you so what they don't see is that you've got the bottom card upside down Okay, so it looks like the top card Okay, so what you do then is you say okay show everybody your card or here's a piece of paper Right, you know secretly write your number or write your card on the pacepaper so that everybody knows You know what it is when I show it to you so would you look at it? So what you do is while they're not paying attention You just turn the deck over and then you hold the deck real tight and you say okay now put your card back in the deck So then that card's upside down so then you go You can see what their card is immediately you can pull their card out and do whatever kind of song it gets You flip the deck around the other way and you go and you just fan it and their cards inside You know face that's yeah that too.
I would too, but dude I've had people on that for fucking an hour. Do you ever get pussy by the minute? No Magicians don't get pussy. They do if they're really good.
Yeah, David copper I've had groups of people on that like in high school like for for like an entire study hall like How is he doing this like just over and over and over and over because it works every single time because you know exactly what card Yeah, so you can do any kind of song and dance you want you can do that thing they do on videos where they like throw the cards And they're like who your cards the ones sitting upright and they're like what or you can just you know okay? I'll hold it up to your head and pretend like you're a mentalist and be like The five of clubs and they're like what I'm like show everybody your paper and it's like five of clubs and they're like Oh, it's shit. I like see freedom. It's super easy to do and it ties people made that dudes ass disappear All over one Ever ever been to like a like a legit magic show no I'm sure I've been to one like on a cruise ship before I don't particularly remember it The amazing Harvey right I never went to like we're like at our school.
Yeah, and it was crazy There was there was one where the dude like showed us the majority of his tricks at the end of the show Except for one where he was able to like make his entire cane disappear and he was like I can't tell you that one nice He's like I got to buy like basically yeah He's like I got that from a hundred dollars metric from like some sort of society and he was like and they will string me up If I tell you guys how did that one that like his whole his whole fucking cane It was like four feet long and he just goes like And it's gone. Have you seen they got them now you can it's like a staff that folds up Yeah, and you just like push a button in it she turns into a full staff. That's probably how they did it I'm sure it's something like that magic shop. I went to down for every other Saturday They have a magic show and then the other Saturdays they have junior magic shows where they like the kids who are like learning magic Can do it like put on a show yeah, apparently like a like the magic castle in LA You can like go and if you have a membership like there's classes where you can go and like learn like upper level I used to buy a lot of magic like packs and like y'all think it's just real hell.
Yeah, what do you think it's real? No, it's all out solution. There are so many things though that are like how the fuck do they do that? Solutions.
Yeah, it's all just tricks. Okay Steel my thunder I believe in magic God Place ports is good. Oh man. I'll tell you get this question.
I played soccer for one practice one practice Knockdown cried quit and then um, it's a gay Cried quit and then still got a participation trophy like oh my god. Wait a minute. You cried and quit. Yeah I was like five I got knocked down by a bigger kid and I can handle it I know I couldn't and I played baseball for several years I just like the coach bitch and I would just be an outfieldy glove my glove on my face I was never into sports like it just what it's never been my thing little league league Baseball yeah, I mean from T ball up to like I know it was my T ball.
I did play lily though. Yeah Yeah, every other arm I'm run. I maybe hit like six balls the entire I'm not still a much where his own just the test this cup Yeah, it's it's I played a lot of baseball and soccer and it it sucked for me for a long time because My birthdays in July and you know I went into school right right when I was turned five So I was almost a full year younger than everybody in my class Yeah, but with sports eventually level not the age and so you're in there with like wait no, it's actually age So okay, it actually worked out eventually But the first like you know four or five years before everybody aged out sucked ass But then when I was actually like the size I was supposed to be so I was in like soccer and baseball for a year Longer than everybody in my class. Okay, and so for that year it was badass because I was actually like you know your head I year head you're in fifth grade playing with middle schoolers and so right well kind of it was I was technically like in Middle school playing with him entry.
Oh, yeah, so like in baseball. I'm just fucking cranking fucking shit out of smashing it out of our tiny little Like youth center baseball field. Yeah, which is actually a skate park now, which is dope. Yeah, I went home recently I'm like yeah, I'll go by the old ball field.
It was a skate park. I was like fuck. Yeah, holy shit Syracuse, Indiana But yeah sports I was also a wrestler in middle school and was kind of okay. You look like a wrestler.
Yeah Yeah, I see you be my my my low center of gravity We got a large torso and sweet the arms Keep getting on you like a midget and you've already like karate or martial arts I didn't either in college. I took boxing lessons and Jeet kundo. I want to take boxing lessons now like to get in shape was that watching like the tiebow videos boxing or no boxing I Was friends with a dude that was professionally trained like he had gone through like several years of Jeet kundo and he was like Well, I'm not going to teach you any of the forms and Jeet kundo's Bruce Lee's thing Yeah, he's like I'm not gonna teach you any of the forms until you learn how to box He's like until you know how to move your feet. I'm not gonna show you how to punch and I'm not gonna show you Paul until you can hit it back exactly until you learn how to punch.
I'm not gonna show you anything else so yeah, dude You want to talk about getting in shape quick? We did that shit for an hour a day Yeah, and for several weeks It was just like being up on your toes and like bouncing back and forth just like you got to be able to not even throw a punch Just learn not even not even learn how to punch just like staying up on your toes and having the stamina to like move around So how are my legs work dude? I mean I probably could have started break dancing after like a fourth week because I was so up on my feet all the time And then you start punching and then you learn the forms and shit. So yeah, it was like spar I mean just with that dude.
Okay. You didn't like was never to ring with another guy like punching punching No, I never didn't even like competitions or anything. You didn't have the crane technique some bitches in here. No and Wrestling I quit my freshman year of high school because it was Intense bro wrestling is fucking like I'll stack for those practices and wrestling Yes, I would stack those practices up against the only ones that maybe had it tougher were the swimmers because all they do is just like Okay, fucking get in the pool and go back and forth for hours.
I was on the swim team one year, too Really? Yeah, really how that work out? Again, I think I only went to practice. I don't think I ever like computed enemy.
Yeah, I think I went to a few practices I'm like I'm not swimming anymore. I like to swim for relaxation Aside from that, you know, the the Hoosiers movie like that shit actually is kind of real everybody in Indiana plays basketball Really all the time. I was never on the team. I'm always so horrible.
That's but yeah, seriously in middle school and in high school It was before school at lunch and after school playing basketball all the time then in high in high school. We were in real teams I don't think we ever won the championship and I was in the finals a few times. I think I played a church one time too You're a place off ball a little bit. Yeah a little bit first spread baseball.
Yeah, I actually got a ball Decent enough basketball believe it or not. I could grab the rim at one point. What don't get me I can't five nine ass taking a gym grab it. We had to just put rim so I could too My brothers were the best so I always play with him And he'd always like I'm like I'm not even gonna try because you're definitely gonna win and then we'd like you know Video games and he'd like to get pissed because I'm like constantly Yeah, yeah, like NBA jams on the superintendent.
Oh, yeah fucking quit stealing the ball for me. I'm like fucking defend bro He's heating up. Oh fucking used to love that game. He's on fire Did you have a favorite sport or did you watch sport your watch sports?
You're not do you watch sport? I mean I played football baseball growing up. Oh, that was the last question. Oh, did you not answer?
No? No, no, I actually played football baseball, but no, no, I hate watching sports. I'd rather play sports Women's tennis is surprisingly fun. No, I'm just kidding.
It's the grunting. It's not like I'm in the pain shot Yeah, I know I'm I mean when the Olympics come on I'll watch like the winter living stuff sometimes Looshes the jumps but what's the one with the Olympics this one fucking curling curling curling curling is the shit It's super easy. I think I could be a good curler. It's like shuffleboard, but nice.
Yes, did you watch the I don't know if it was the last one or maybe the one before that the winter Olympics where the dude on the US team was called Super Mario No, because he had like a big bushy mustache like a red hat everybody's like yeah fucking Super Mario. I can ask to it I mean MMA. I don't like watching the fights everyone's well. Yeah, but I don't like not like reading statistics like no I'm not getting that far into it.
The only route sport. I'm really into every year is probably NFL And that's just because I'm a die-hard bears fan and that's just kind of a nostalgia Like growing up watching the bears with my old man, you know, yeah, and you know obviously being a kid from Northern Indiana And my dad was from Chicago So we watched all the Chicago teams and I mean in the 90s watching bulls was pretty fucking amazing Oh, I mean the nice bulls Cowboys. It was like the big teams. Yeah, we're like the ones to watch like and when we were Younger like in the 80s.
We would oh, we're gonna take a break. We'll grab. Okay, and we're back. We're back Welcome back.
Yeah, so just to wrap that up. I do have some pretty awesome memories in the 80s of watching the Champagne beers got you Where's your bag? Did you take it back already? Dan that was a good one some great memories watching the the Celtics and Lakers in the 80s.
Yeah, some Larry Bird and Magic Johnson should Yeah, it was fun to watch Obviously, we're always cheering for the Celtics because Larry birds from Indiana. I did not know that. Yeah, man French lick. Okay Yeah, that's a town in Indiana.
It's called French lick. It's pretty awesome horrible name for town. It's a great Thank you at a whorehouse. I'm here for the French lick.
Thank you Most exotic food you've ever eaten. I mean escargot escargot snails. Okay. I'm sure Steve's probably grilled up a squirrel or two I mean, I've eaten squirrel.
I mean Crows like most people you said like everybody eats squirrel squirrels fucking normally you bro. It's good. It's good eating Awesome. I've never ate possum turtle.
They turtle. We use a turtle snapper soup. Oh my god. It's really delicious.
Yeah, it's super good I mean I've had Of a crow literally like It was weird time to me like it was weird. I'll tell them that they'll remember right Not so much the hypothetical but more than literal. Yeah, we were out dev hunting and we shot a couple crows and we're like I mean marijuana's a hell of a drug so How the crust tastes like straight dog shit. I don't recommend it.
No, they're they're carrying dead shit Yeah, so yeah, it was kind of like the meat was almost like carrying though I mean they eat other stuff, but like that's like a part of something's diet. It's usually not gonna take you I think they are I'm gonna pour it out with me. No eat berries, but yeah, you're never seen it You're not gonna go there and eat a vulture, right? I mean if it's a gator tail gator tail is good That's probably the most gator sausages.
You're right the balls of an animal. No, never ever either I'm not even really into like it's apparently it's really good for you But I'm not even really into like organ meat like fuck liver givers and liver. I know you get around here oysters are delicious I love oysters some people fuck here. I love Really love oysters don't care for clams.
I don't think I haven't read them cooked properly. How about the old bearded clam? You ever have one of those? The clam jam clam jam Ostrich I've had some ostrich.
I should it's good. Not out packa. What's the yellow? I've had an antelope for yeah That was one advantage of the old man going on cool hunts Definitely had some What are reindeer careable fucking careable dude?
Bear me have you had bear bear bear is amazing really super fucking lean like they have no hardly any fat Lots of elk and yeah, they're like black bear that you a lot of like berries and shit supposed to like meet like no shit I've never had bear might have to look into that you read a horse or anything crazy. I mean probably I made it talk about before I Mean we've all I talk about so at one point in time you can pretty much bet you've had horse at least horse if not donkey or zebra I have had Sea urchin. Oh, you're in the air. I don't think I have it's not bad.
I mean eel in sushi. Yeah a huge fan of shark shark So good, I like scallops I like scallops real or fake scallops. I don't care made from yeah fish patty Or what they caught Sting rates and skates and they just cookie cutter punch those scallops out. Hey if it tastes like a scallop is delicious to me delicious Like imitation crab made is just hadic yeah, so Rini It's actually probably better for you to have the addict and I mean like that's a snack to me.
I would like literally get a movie Get the stick on you just grab a stick. Oh, no stick snack. Yeah, like a crab stick Speaking of food what dish you prepared are you the most proud of I make a mean Teriyaki chicken bachi really on the flat top fried rice all that really all the hombachi. Yeah, I think we were gonna have that One thing's one sideways Then through the other dimension the looking hole.
Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, I forgot I know it's these are good cook what's your what's the thing that you're like? I'm gonna fucking blow your socks off with this shit. I mean I've done some pretty good Like a stuffed shell with yes, yeah, it's like a stuff on the show.
Yes And then a shrimp scampi homemade on the side with a homemade brownie white chocolate. No, shit. Yeah, are you a bit of a baker? I can't make sure I mean I make fucking dope ass cheesecakes really.
Yes. I do. I need fudge I mean that's so much work dude. I just tricky cuz like you got a stirry like And nasty I've only made it a handful of times But I'm here one time and I was I do this is the best I've ever had and you got to get that And buttery it didn't have in that couple times make it kind of gets like Crystly like yeah, if you get that fudge that kind of like melts in your mouth when you dig it by it Well, there's a whole process and it's really weird like if the it tells you don't scrape the sides because that's it takes you Start starting it.
That's when that air starts and Is a lotion yeah, you got butter on the top so the top doesn't solidify until it cools down to certain temperature and then you serve the shit out of it It's hard fast. You can't do it thickens. I made um What's that shit you eat with coffee the little bit of a Scotty that guy yes that was tough you actually bake that twice really It makes sense it because it's so hard fucking concrete, but it's it's delicious when you homemade it Make your own croutons. Yeah, dude.
That's what's people don't do it I mean super easy is just custom bread up and I'm bread up You know who has the best croutons on the planet Ruby Tuesdays. Yeah, they're salad bar with the rye bread the pumpernickel But that yeah, I'm pretty good soft. Yeah, but they're solid bars shit cuz they never keep it's all old trashy Yeah, you love a good salad bar though. I do too remember when Wendy's He's a salad bar like they were want the other creators of the salad bar where they yeah like Wendy's used to Legit have a salad bar a salad bar.
Yeah, dude. I'm gonna say Jason's deli. He's have a dope salad bar I'm just Jason soon. Yeah, and then had the potatoes where you get like a potato like the size of a football and then you add shit to it As you go through they are they are the yeah, or whatever they're had pre-made But I mean not pre-made but they would top it with whatever.
Okay, like you can order it like I want mine with me Yeah, but it was like I mean literally like the size of football two tons of butter bucks It's like if I want to do something fairly quick I do a like Cajun pork chop with a homemade mango salsa Because you do like a like you do like a spicy meat and then you get the As sweet and the sweet from the more that whiskey turkey made one time dude our bourbon turkey I can't remember what it was something. I'm super proud of that one too like so it just it was just like a Random trying to make just like bring together. Yeah, so I take hollowed out Green peppers, okay, and I put like a mixture inside that of like lemon pepper and then like chop up like onions Celery sometimes I'll throw some croutons in there to make it like a dressing and then I'll pour basil Hayden bourbon Inside the inside the the bell pepper and I'll show two of those motherfuckers inside the turkey And then I'll like get a bunch of like cold butter and like cube it up And then I'll like slice the skin of the turkey on the outside and jam that shit inside and then the outside Salt and pepper and I know it sounds dumb from a fucking song But parsley sage rosemary and thyme on the outside of the bird and you put that all that shit inside of a fucking Turkey bag roasted in that. I mean the inside becomes like fucking lava so it's super dangerous to give it the Stuffing out, but what comes out is this like crazy like fucking whiskey butter sauce that you can then like put on top of the turkey Whatever you got holy fuck man.
Yeah, that's delicious. Everybody. I've got complicated But it's complicated and but everybody I've made it for is like what the fuck it's a pain in the ass to make so I don't do it Every year, but yeah, I like smoking smoking meat gee we are now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Brent has missed at least one podcast Really?
Meet but to be fair. I have had you smoke turkey and that shit was probably the best turkey I've ever had in my life I smoke chicken for the first time like probably a month two months ago. It's a fucking amazing I love I've never even had it always on the way from like why don't we just go buy like a couple of the Cornish hands, though. I'm a little fucking baby turkey or baby chicken That's I mean I've got my best room So I've got two rotissaries.
I got one of my grill and then I've got one on my airfire fucking I love doing Pork loins and rotisserie chickens. Yeah, so we always buy the rotisserie chicken It's just like four bucks for a bird and it's like we here's a quick we eat a meal with it We pick it we boil the bones make broth like I make five six meals out of one out of a four bird So fireworks are pretty dope, right? Yeah, what's the biggest thing you've ever blown out? I used to be someone of a pyromaniac I mean, what what dude hasn't I used to make home a napalm really?
We accidentally let a pond on fire what a whole pond so we were basically I don't even think I should tell you how you make No, go ahead There's two things you make and it comes like a sticky flammable substance, right? Well one time we were making a Fiverr foam again, so we should look according to the fight club You can make napalm with equal parts gasoline and frozen orange juice constant. Yeah for that time try that we always did what he just said and One time we were doing it and like it was just like super liquidy. It wasn't forming right?
We're like right and we don't want this we like poured it in like this little pond and we're like hey look You can kind of see it floating on top and my buddy lit it and it had spread across the entire top of the pond Yeah, how big of a pond I mean like a like a neighbor like a neighbor. Oh, whoa, you know, like half an acre What do they call us like retention? Yeah like retention pond holy shit, dude We cause a fucking huge fire and then as soon as it hit the fountain it probably Imagine like just playing on fire. I know we were playing in the ditch behind our house with fire me my brother in The dry grass caught on fire.
We couldn't put it out so we ran inside our house shit It's just like a street over and we're like looking out the window at like this billowing black smoke and we hear fire trucks and shit Oh my god Never got caught didn't burn anything down didn't kill no one. I mean luckily I mean shit someone could have fucking died and then then what yeah, I was like in the trash can Steve I feel like you've burned some shit. Yeah Again with like thermite or anything like crazy. No, I mean we've made um I made like the poppers things It's just literally match ads and put them on tape and it was one make a ten a night ten right ten right?
Yeah Yeah, I mean we as kids. I'm sure we've probably exceeded the FBI Yeah, making pipe my mama. Oh my brother. I like oh, what if we just put this in here?
Uh took apart probably way too many shotgun shells and got all the gunpowder out and dumped it out. Yeah, that's dangerous as fuck I remember as a kid my dad was like we're gonna make a homemade firework and uh he like yeah He's piping like impugged a shotgun shell and put it in there and like put a fuse in there and all that stuff And we let it just blew one end of it out and didn't even explode but damn looking back that like damn dad that was dangerous the shit Yeah, you want to talk about dangerous shit or my neighbors built uh you've heard of the uh the mailbox bombs No The the works bomb where you put the yeah, the drain oh and tin foil. Yeah. Yeah, drain oh I know it.
I know it. I still don't think we should say that. I'm I'm dry ice bombs those are fun, but those in a bottle. Oh shit.
Oh, yeah, we don't condone condone anyone doing anything We're talking about this is all parody. Yeah, this is all just joking around. Don't do this. I mean Do we need to train for a friend?
Maybe talk about your your incident with uh the cookbook Oh, we're talking about in high school when I got in trouble for printing out the entire anarchist cookbook. Yes Yeah, I had a talk with the SWAT team captain. Oh shit. Yeah, really?
Yeah, like in the principal's office like and I was like, I'm sorry, man Listen, I'm bored like yeah, I just heard about it and you know I've seen some interesting math not so much because I know how to make a pipe bomb And I know you and your help me did some stuff with the computer lab so did uh What did you just hear about the cookbook and you downloaded it man printed it out like yeah, how did it end up being printed out? Because I wanted a physical copy I remember in the 90s. I wanted something I could flip through like pages. It was like brain-sainting office printer School printer.
Yeah, school printer. Oh my god I mean, this was back before I mean the only reason I got caught is because Someone ratted me out. It's not like the teachers are looking back at the print log or anything like that No, they weren't smart enough to do that. I mean yeah, I mean everything was locked down air quotes But like we would social engineer the password out of our teachers and um Dude, I would I remember in high school like opening up the computer and stealing memory out of the computer to take home and put in my computer at home Why you like steal their ram?
Yeah, uh Hilarious. Yeah, we were so much smarter than the computer teachers like they because they were older They didn't grow up with it and we were like a second-hand nature to us like right we were way ahead of them It didn't take long. Yeah, we're uh, I think one time I burned a car down too I was actually getting ready to ask if you'd crashed a car or been in a bad accident. Um, I mean I Have not had a DUI on my record I have wrecked multiple vehicles Dammit.
I'm both knocking on wood like crazy. I have I have wrecked multiple vehicles due to um Activities like that like just being stupid. I've totaled two vehicles. Totally.
Yeah. Damn. Yeah I mean, this was after my divorce. I was in a dark place.
Fair enough. I don't think I ever had like a major automobile accident Like I mean I you've never been in a car that's flipped or like I mean I flipped a Volkswagen I mean, I've never been in a bad one, but yeah, I flipped a Volkswagen dude I literally got out of the Volkswagen pushed it the fuck back over call it a friend and be like hey bring our air tank So we can punch tires back up. Damn. It was ridiculous.
Um, no, I did um I was going down a Old back road probably 50 55 miles an hour and had a Ford truck tebow me and like I was in a Chevy sprint or something That was pretty bad because uh, I mean I didn't get hurt my girlfriend at the time her knee went all up into the dashboard and shit Damn I jumped out like I blind out They see the people the witnesses were like bro. You were going to kick that dude's ass Like I got out of the car and was across my car and his truck going to his ass to whip it Damn. Yeah, like I totally blacked out but other than that like I fell out of a car when I was a kid Like what do you mean like how you fall out of a car first of all? Well, here's how it goes Um, we ride in the back of the pickup.
No, it's actually in the front of the picture Which honestly I miss that shit. Yeah, it sucks Used to be able to fucking just sit back. Yeah, you'll be able to just jump in the back of the pickup go and go someplace So, um, my dad was driving his old truck and it had a handle where you pulled up to literally open the door Right and it was like my dad driving then my brother and then I was on the outside You talking like wings like a fucking delorean? No That'd be dope there, right?
Like a fucking pickup truck where the doors open up Pullings So My brother and I we fell asleep and my foot got up under the door handle Right and I opened the fucking door essentially with my foot right and of course perfect timing Planets were aligned my dad was doing around a curve door opening Shout out the fucking truck goes skidding out this And the minute like air hit me I I bought up like a fucking pill bug Instinctively I guess and just fucking rolling into the fucking ditch my dad pulls everything. Yeah, I had like little scratches on my knees Don't say the word your mother like that Like and we got like a truck just working crazy on down the road. That's what happened Your dad treated you like a like like a brother. Yeah, like don't tell mom.
Don't tell mom. You're fine. You're fine. You're fine I didn't come back in the day, you know Damn.
Yeah, that was fun. Uh, I drove a full-size van in My senior year and then through college and got in all kinds of like little fender benders here and there mostly because You can't see anything in Indiana's cold and you fucking slide around, dude. Yeah, uh, but one of the most interesting ones was so Those open mics I was telling you about so we we were coming back from mary in indiana and going back to ball state Van full of people I pull in I don't know why we stopped there We pull in someplace in the like the little university village where all the bars aren't sure And uh, I got it back out and everybody had been drinking all of us I got it back out and I Smashed the fuck out of some bitches tiny little Honda that sparked across the street. She's tripping She's like I just bought that car last week.
I fucking smashed the fuck out of it and of course This is like a fucking uh Chevy van full size like full size man He didn't even scratch it dude like the bumper wasn't even bent and her car was fucking destroyed Yeah, just fortunately she wasn't inside it so the cops come and they're like mammy were parked illegally Are you fucking kidding me? They're like they're like yeah, you're gonna need to turn this into your insurance and He was about to turn his attention to me and my friends his Obviously, yeah up to some shit, you know, we got a van full of fucking amps and guitars We've clearly been up to see all that marijuana dude get this so we're standing on the side of the street a car comes zoomin by and loud music and Somebody's like whoo Slams a fucking beer on the sidewalk right next to the cop and it like like explodes and he's like you guys got all Easy this time. Well, I think we're done here. He hops in his car and chases those motherfuckers.
We're all lucky. Oh god Okay, everybody's going home now. Hey, we all need that one guy. Oh man So fucking lucky.
So fucking lucky All right, uh, so let's let's fast forward here a little bit so Just a quick one. What's your favorite candy bar? What you call it? Really?
Yep. Is it the crispy rice? I think so Okay crispy rice caramel the two comments if you're going into a gas station and you're like, I want a candy bar You're grabbing what you call it? Yes interesting So I have a question just to verify like are we talking like right the fuck now or like Because my my favorites always been like saying all time my favorites always been three musketeers But three musketeers like and I think it was probably late 90s like that changed their fucking recipe They did like and it tasted like I would chocolate now is most of the shit.
Yeah, it's trash I'm with you like three musketeers was like my go to like one of my favorites was fucking milky way Yeah, he's a new milky way. It's good. He's a good guy. Yeah, you like the nutty shit.
I like nuts in his mouth I'll buy payday Favorite gun food movie Motherfuckers. I've got two. I've got two on debt Probably number one and I'm gonna go ahead and put a price tag on it is the Five elemental ninjas. Oh, that's a good one.
The second and I mean, it's so fucking so close pray for death the shokashiki Oh, I don't know if I know pray for death dude right now done right now dude fucking look it up Do whatever you gotta do that fucking movie is fire, bro That's that's the movie that introduced me to shokashiki who's been in he was in ninja assassins didn't it was maybe The uh the leader of the ninja clan that shokashiki so quick premise, you know kids Guy wife they live in japan, you know watching ninja movies on tv and the kids are like oh, I'm gonna be a ninja They move to america to pursue the american dream and then thugs come in and uh, uh kids get fucked up Wife gets fucked up. That's what now the real colors come out home boy is a Hell yeah, ninja and I actually built a replica He had this helmet that you would put on he put on and it had like these fucking metal things that whenever it's face like For better. Yeah, I built one as a kid. Yeah.
Yeah, my grandfather used to be like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm making an ninja helmet pop I was definitely influenced by the Wu Tang and where they were influenced from 36 chambers. Yes, dude That series of movies about that dude going through like shalen monk fucking kung fu training is bad ass I mean, it man's pretty Great. I'm a big fan I love those old school any movie you watch any when they jump it makes them like Saturday afternoon kung fu theater bro growing up that was just a three ninja's count Fucking rabshanada.
No Wasn't that wasn't that three ninjas? No, no, no, this is like these three little kids You don't remember the little three hundred three ninjas. Which one am I thinking of? What rabshanada is the fucking uh is it rabshanada or chris?
No, rabshanada is like the fucking uh comedy relief. I don't know I think it might be bulletproof monks actually not a bad movie. It's not a bad movie. Really?
Yeah, that's one without a shot I was got yeah, yeah Everybody with circus. Yes. Yeah, it's sad. I've got pictures fucking eight said I wrote an elephant You wrote an elephant?
Yeah, they're like old black and white picture from when I was like a kid And the funny of story. Oh, yeah, that's all they had back then Was like my mom was looking at a monkey in this cage and she was like, oh look at this monkey And it was like swinging and next thing you know just swung and hocked a fucking luge and hit it right in the face It's like yeah, fuck a circus poor animals Uh last question So your funeral What do you want you want traditional you want you know coffin and fucking funeral home bullshit Here's a realistic thing just cream ate me take my ashes somewhere done deal. All right. What do you want your ashes?
Uh, I would like for it to be a destination like go to a mountain go somewhere where you have to go there Yeah, but is there anything like significant to you? We put you in a bottle with a little hole in it and then we just hiked all over your asses just leaked out as we want Yeah, that's already leaks out No, I'm that be cool. I would love to like be able to shoot some of me in space I mean that's not really feasible. Isn't it but like if like if we're talking like anything's legal what I would do for a funeral I'm saying anything's possible.
What do you prefer anything your body to be like Gonna close on Ask if you enroll the middle of the funeral. I'm hooked strings and I pop about and start dancing Mary net breath. Yes. I mean obviously that's how I do like a natural barrel where they like plant you with a Oh, you see that yeah, you can do that now.
Yeah, I thought about doing that either that or cremation Oh, yeah, I hate be a tree and then like I don't know the tree gets knocked down. It's like well I mean trees are I would say yeah, that's all I'm like yeah, take me up to a mountain or a stream or we got to cut this one Now we got a new mall coming in. Yeah, I definitely don't want like embalming and don't put me in a plastic bag and have me fucking stay in the Ground for 600. Yeah, I don't want to shit.
I mean Steve what I mean We have the logical one and it's actually legal in one state for it. Thank you for your liking for you No, Florida. No, Florida. You can do it in Florida.
Yeah, so what I mean I'm talking About a boat and I'm fucking laying there with fucking shields on the boat Yeah, my slop and somebody Yeah, just like wait Long to fuck yeah, and because I know that's not logistically possible really a fraternity and Shout out to Cal it. He said he would help my number two is in the woods funeral pyre in a fucking Vader outfit and you burn me Fucking Star Wars style like a big funeral pyre. I'm wearing a fucking Vader mask fuck. Yeah, third option would be pine box I don't I don't want any embalming.
No. Yeah, I don't want me dissolve into that Just like a regular fucking yeah, but like I said they have ones now where you get buried like basically in a cloth bag Yeah, so it's like you'll decompose super quick. Yeah, yeah fucking Craig They they don't do any embalming he's actually helped with it. Yeah, he's talking about that I think he sent us a text that one day was like I saw a dead man's dick today.
Oh my God And he said that you know if you keep them cool you like bodies really don't decompose that fast No, I mean there's a couple weeks before they start thinking yeah You know you gotta you know just dig a hole and put them in a box and fucking drop them in there and if apparently like I thought there was Like regulations about that shit and apparently as long as you let the state know like Where no like where you're putting the body in the pine box They're fine with it road as long as you notify them of it's a non They don't actually like somebody's out there fucking yeah eight one one in it for a dig oh yeah We found a you do that you do the Viking funeral and your body doesn't burn all the way wash it a bunch of Most I mean you're gonna fucking miss you'd like as the barge is headed out would you donate your organs? No? But bro who wants this liver? Yeah, my liver is like here fucking really now.
I've heard stories about how they treat bodies with Like organ donation and I don't want that shit. My mom wants to do she wants to go to like the science fucking place So you can donate your body to Decomposition farm and they literally have just a fucking plots of dead people And they watch aging of the fuck like a compost you are laying they just study like how the human body decomposes so that they know like Oh, this person must have died during this time frame because whoa yeah, you can go out there and go like okay Well, if you have apparently if you have brain cancer and liver cancer, this is how you decompose like they break it down It's fucking ridiculous and I'm like why would you want that like Cut each one of my fingers off and sneak it to a line and each zoo you can go do I'll do that dude I want somebody if I don't get human jerky everyone take a bite. Yeah, right? Also, have you guys done a living will no no I need to my wife literally does that stuff so I can never do it My wife can do it most likely gonna kill you anyway, so you might want to have a little fucking backup if you're reading this I have been killed you're listening.
I've been murdered by my wife My wife if I'm not on the next episode No, I already know I'm gonna be out of 10 next weekend. Yeah, well anyway out of town means on his way to a Taiwanese transsexual shop Another getting to know you episode Getting to know you Hey, the J's for everybody all right. Thanks guys for listening. Love ya.
Bye. We did this book make it Forever