Welcome to the forever this week. We have technical difficulties So today July 18th is actually my birthday and a buddy of ours runs birthday We decided to do a live show at the birthday party he was having which actually turned out great But unfortunately we lost the first half of the episode so figure out jumping here and kind of explain where we are what we're doing This week we're talking about fears. We interview several people at the birthday party and just asking what they're afraid of what deep dark Secrets do they not want people to know? If you like this live show let us know so that we can do more like this it's up on live forever pot at gmail.com So enjoy the show Welcome back.
Yes welcome back. So we've got the man of the hour American hero Ron Talmich Birthday Got a game tonight Yeah, they would probably do better if they played right now because nobody else is playing Yeah, they might have a shot at the playoffs Ever I'm just getting really anyway Ron to birthday. What's up, dude? Not much Ron super talkative just every day.
Yeah, I feel like this is a What is that movie with Bruce Willis? No? Fifth element moment And he's like fuck yeah, what is the word of the day? He's like hello I've seen it I thought it was okay when it came out I was like man, this seems like over done in the Hollywood version of sci-fi's bullshit But it actually later on the more you watch it bro like watching it now I'm like damn they knew what they were doing.
This is actually pretty legit sci-fi And the one thing that holds true from the first time you watch it last time You definitely want to talk to me about Joe me That never changes for me and her fucking strap out. Oh, we're just like vinyl tape. Yeah The only thing that would make her better would be like bigger tits period. Yeah, yeah would agree with that 100% and I'm not even like a big boob guy, but I need Something like your size.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm kind of fly-chested Yeah, cuz you're a fucking gangster gangster Yeah, I don't know about that. So we've got kind of an underlying theme just to have you know some shit to talk about We want to know about your fears, right? Yeah, what scares?
Oh look at him. You got that fucking thousand yards there Is right that he was like do do do do do do do do back in the nom Not necessarily right now, but you know, maybe childhood like something that was irrational like an irrational fear Let's not like some people are like I don't like when the cupboard's closed too fast cuz it bothers me You know, do you have anything like irrational like that? No, I can't say it. I did okay What about when you were younger like we're pretty monsters dark boogeyman When I was really young I was kind of scared of the dark and certain and certain areas but like I wanted a fucking nightlight I wanted it like in the hallway.
Yeah, I just park or outside my room I remember being scared of the dark in a certain area of my grandparents house Yeah, but I also remember a certain point as a youngster. I couldn't sleep with a damn light on huh, okay? So yeah, that creates a problem if you don't like the dark and you're like, ah, I can't do the light on I had I had this thing where I thought there were crocodiles not just monsters Crocodile like real eye crocodile specifically yes living like invisibly under my bed during the day and at night Them bitches were ready to snap at my ankles and so every time every time I had to get up at night Like to take a piss or whatever. I had to like kind of fucking okay Top this shit so I would like jump out of my bed and then like when coming back I would fucking leap into that shit like Like there was so much shit under my bed that crocodiles would not survive under my head lots of shit under my bed as a kid I'm like for me my fear I didn't really have a lot of fear when I was young until and this is gonna sound completely stupid, but the movie bammy Yeah, yeah, so yeah, it's a fucked up story.
So well, Stevie is kind of homophobic So maybe you had a fear of becoming gay was like I don't want to believe in rainbows No, no, I love everyone Thank it's like yeah, I mean he wants to be gay. I'm like closet so as a child my parents took us to see Bambi at the drive-in and For whatever ungodly reason the owner of the place decided to show like a preview or the beginning of the movie Yeah, there was a dash of yes It was like trying to because a lot of what attracted to people to drive ins was like B movies and shit like that right? Yeah, so they look shown those trailers the next movie trailer was for night of the living day and we're driving a lot of That movie I mean I do man later on in my life I did but at like eight apparently I didn't like it so much so I'm watching the movie screen as we're driving away And I see the zombie like eating somebody's fucking hand and I asked my dad and I'm like that what is that was that like a freaking out? He goes in all his wisdom course.
He didn't know he's like oh, that's a vampire Totally fucked up the rest of my life till I was like in my 20s I could not sleep without a blanket around my fucking neck like how the girl man was like fuck that's a Viva all the things on the planet that he could have said that would have been like less fucking brain-marring. Yeah, vampire was not it Sorry parenting skills negative one, you know what that actually brings up the other memory of mine. Yeah, tell me about it When you were a vampire. Yeah, I know I still live in All right All right set up on that mic big boy when I was really young probably four or five years old I Used to love to do hazards.
Hell yeah Daisy do I can't figure that one out either, but crazy for some reason the muppets always come on before the house is when I was a kid There was a character in the muppets that for some reason I was scared of death or no shit What I don't remember it was one of the monster I watched him up it and there was there was like a scary character on that bitch Was it like that little phantom looking dude like had to fucking like look like a gargoyle or most? No, it was it was one of the bigger monster looking he had horns or something on his head or something Yeah, I think he's like fucking sweetness or something like that I don't remember what his name was but for some reason it scared the death of it scared me to fucking death And I remember I remember one night. I was wanting to stay up to watch the douche has her But didn't want to watch them up. It's because of that character.
No shit. Holy shit. Look who's fucking here Hey, we have a new feeling of Frank has entered the studio. Oh, yes, I have he's also entered my butt now just kidding Is it a boat jangles That's expensive in most places Fuck it.
That's right. I mean it's your birthday bro. Now take the peach. All right.
I could look at the piece for hours Absolutely has hair cut very nice Thank God we're not doing video It's a hidden camera we can't tell you where it's at What's up, right? So so no like lingering like phobias like for example Brent is a bitch ass and he's super scared of spiders Like to the point like on a job side if there's a big fucking spider, you'll be like I'm not doing that show Bro, I know somebody who could probably top his fear because I my old roommate was so afraid of fucking spiders we were out like looking for a place to hunt turkey and We were walking around He sees a spider this motherfucker pulls out a handgun and shoots the fucking spider with a handgun I'm talking it was an orb web spider. So you get pretty big pulls out a gun I mean turns around it's in his face. He's like ah pulls a gun out and shoots this fucking spider and I'm like bro I mean really that's aggressive I mean I for sure have stopped in the middle of interstate and jumped out my car because it was fire.
I really Got down You know, I actually got bit by fucking copperhead Yes, totally remember that and and still in not afraid Yeah, I got put in a hospital because of it. It was on a job like he went No, you weren't yeah, I got bit up here and the fucking stupidest part I was in a hospital The nurses were only looking at the fucking red marks to see if they sprayed right now Meantime my arm swelled up to the point where you couldn't even see my fucking knuckles They wouldn't give me the anti-venom because the red marks didn't spread I looked at them the last time they came into the fucking room. I was like Because they made the comment the red marks haven't spread yet. I said no, but the swelling stay in sure has Give me the thing It hadn't gotten that point yet, but I remember saying like arms like black.
Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, Ron was the the I'm gonna get I'm gonna get bit guy Yeah, I was Fucking job. Yeah, I actually still got fucking marks on the back of my leg from that shit got bit by snake Yeah, Ron was the go-to bite guy. I remember getting the call I'm like do you have like weird feelings about dogs and snakes now? Yeah, I mean I got two dogs on home.
Fair enough. No, I mean Now zoom either though. No They're going to town The fucking the cario Yeah, and this is that's why I close the door. They were doing like fucking love check.
I mean totally but that's part of like This is not Hopefully we can I'll share my mic with you, but just gonna find I grabbed Greg before he left Yeah, he said he wasn't staying like because he called me. He's like are you here? I'm like, I'm no not yet. Yeah He had a penis grooming You get his pubes shaved or something.
Did you make up some crazy while I wasn't here yet? Not yet. No, I mean you were late Probably because you know you got your nuts that caught in the fucking drain plug of your shower or something retarded like that Standing yes while standing because I don't want to have a ball sack than I didn't bring Yeah, it's I mean he really can't wear shorts. Yeah, it's really disgusting.
Yeah, it's uncomfortable for everybody I thought I had the lowest balls actually wears four shoes Gonna have shoes for his little balls when they hang a bottle of shorts Brent we love you. Yeah, oh, it's a great So Dan what do we need to know about you man tell us about Ron That's right. Let's peel this sure Dan. Let's feel this onion.
Let's ask them some real poignant questions So how big is your penis wrong? 911 what do you think inside job? I think it was a big already everything how much you think? How much involved were you with it think think everything a hundred percent?
Oh? We don't have the lights in his face yet before you ask me questions like that Brent you got a flashlight right in his eyes Tell us tell us right now you were the pilot weren't you? So it was a pilot. I wouldn't be here Maybe unless it was an inside job Yeah, so what do you think for real like did 911 happen because of some bullshit that we brought on ourself or Like do you think it was really everything the news says it was that you know some angry fucking Terrorist decided to fly to dudes into the towers.
You think that's all that happened or you think there was another shit happen I think that or you not want to answer because you're afraid you can be put on a list or some shit and Spoiler just for being on the show you're probably on a list. Yes, all right There are 10,000 Napoleon's that are like who is this wrong Talamidge? No, I think 911 Paul from Nepal Nepal 911 along the cove it was a combination They're related or they're both bullshit. No, I don't think they're both bullshit.
I think there was a conspiracy on both parts Fuck yeah, nice in in what regard do you feel like? It was just like 911 alone. Do you think it was just orchestrated by our government? Do you think that?
Wild shot they're like oh for 911 absolutely were like yeah, the fucking planes were CGI and I'm like, okay I don't know man like you're talking about fucking 2002. They didn't have the ability to do that kind of shit Well also like I mean I've heard you know it was used to cover up money that went missing for some other stuff cuz it's a financial building like right Yeah, like the day before that the Pentagon was like we Missed place like we can't find seven trillion dollars and it's like oh a plane hit we can't we'll never know now Oh darn And then a plane just happens to slam into the side of the Pentagon even though there's no footage of it There is no no the Pentagon there isn't no well then there's footage of the wreckage afterwards they claim is the wreckage yeah Yeah, there's no cameras at the Pentagon that record 24-7 It's got bullshit on that right about fucking tower 7 man. Everybody nobody talks about that shit either The building next to the twin towers that went down seemingly on its own. Yeah, we actually used to work with a dude Which one's that that was you know?
No, it's fine. I don't want to blow him up and then trouble He'll probably use hand he'll probably get shot. I mean we were talking about it where he worked But there was a security officer on a job that we work on That was a security officer for the twin towers Did you get a phone call like hey don't come in to work today or did you get a call like you might want to leave the building? He won't talk about take a 20 minute break.
I asked him about tower 7 He was like debris from the towers flew off and it hit the other building in a coffee or in the ground That's what happened. I was like that's great. No, no I mean that we did on video and he was like no Dan that's what happened Alright, bro. I guess you don't want to talk about this shit.
He's like damn I'm protecting you kind of You know how much fucking debris would have to fly into that fucking building because I 365 kilos Exactly and two firecrackers So I mean shit we have actively avoided Go with conversation. So what are you talking about? What do you think? What do you think is bullshit about COVID-19?
First of all did you get shot? I did the first one. Yeah, okay. You got you so you got back some I can go back Yes, I can go back to that I can go back and erase your name if you want did you get back to me Dan?
No, thank you neither divide fuck that shit. No. I'm a real man. I try to get vaccinated.
We eat dirt suck dicks I mean wait a minute. Sorry what? That's why we didn't get vaccinated. We don't need that shit.
I don't know about it was it was right when it like became like Official on the news like the whole like two weeks to slow the spreadsheet. Yeah, no joke I fucking shut the television off and Probably had something to do with us pausing the podcast for a while because Terry thinks I'm crazy shut the TV off I tell my wife. I'm like this is some kind of fucking worldwide weird-ass test Yep to see how fucking compliant everybody is and I'm like you watch there will be like this huge divide between people that want to comply And follow the rules and there will be everybody else that's like hey, what about this? Hey, what about this?
And she thought I was fucking crazy. It's a lot like invasion of the body snatchers. Yes, you have to pretend like you you're okay with everything They're doing so that you don't get snatched. Yeah, exactly totally and like I had that shit before it was even announced that it was like I was sick Everyone did everyone got like super sick like two three months beforehand I actually got sick myself.
Yeah, and it was before they even said the word covid or anything like that Ever What's that give me a penis Anyway, I didn't say it So when we worked at the last company remember when we all like got this like My wife called it a stripper cold because it wouldn't fucking go away. It was like Yeah, like Upper respiratory issue and everybody had this like orange snot it was the same thing for fucking everybody It was like yeah upper respiratory affection included with a sinus infection I think everybody got it all the way back then and what they gave you when you first got it was a I got a shot of fucking steroids in the ass and they did a breathing treatment on me and then antibiotics And I was fucking I got over it the first time and why I think I probably never got covid Yeah, the D right seriously Like hey, man, you should get some vitamin D And I'm like really why and he's like because it's actually not a vitamin It's a hormone that you need for your immune system and if you're not out and sun enough like most of us I'm probably not getting enough. I got some vitamin D. That shit was fucking over in two days I got I remember meckton and I ate a horse.
I still take vitamin D like all the time and never get sick It would be cool if I did though. It's been like three four years since I've been sick Did you do the dewormer Ron? I remember meckton I remember I go down. Did you inject bleach under your eyelid?
Hiducotum. Did you swallow led lights to irradiate your insides? No, but I'm actually out in the sunlight all the fucking time Yeah, true. You're pretty white for that though.
No actually you gotta make it. How do I have a better tan than him though? I'm inside sleeping. What are you talking about?
You pay last bitch? I'm Irish You're Irish and you still have a tan impressive dude impressive. You should look at my main nationality is Irish I also have some Indian in me. Ah, that'll do it.
Like like ooh Indian or like no no no no no Indian. No like ooh Oh, okay. We went down this road before we've already been down this path. We haven't been canceled yet.
We're on good one. Yes I got Ron somebody size today. Yes He's so easy Yeah, do yourself a favor everyone and we're gonna go and do a drink review real quick the twisted T We have several different flavors. Thank you, Brent.
Thank you for bringing them. Hi, five. I'm nice I'm currently drinking a half and half which is pretty much like I don't know what the second half is Like dog shit or piss maybe like stirred with a fucking Donkey cock, but yeah, it's pretty pretty okay. I'll drink it I'm drinking the peach twisted T peach which is Okay, gotta love the peach not as good as my run and die cold I am a run guy.
He's a run run guy. I feel like you're gonna say dick just now like I'm drinking the twisted T rocket pop. Oh like the side is cherry Lin lime and blue raspberry Kind of like but it's all right. Does it taste like rocket pop it does a little bit.
I'm drinking that OG. It tastes like rotten tea So we tried the remember we tried the Bojangles last last podcast. Yeah, it was way worse than these Oh, yeah, yeah, the Bojangles was like it tastes like old stale fucking Bojangles tea. This at least doesn't taste stale It tastes like yeah, I mean I know Dan won't drink after me, but taste that That Bojangles shit like Why am I tasting it?
Riding around? Oh, you already drank some of this? 93 with on leather seats. Oh shit Like man, you saw man and then they take show up late in a bag of shit 89 93ish leather seat on a Buick And they like soaked it in water and then poured that shit into a can yeah, it was pretty gross It was pretty gross, but I mean we were champions when drank somebody's asked up leather seats That's what it's that's what it's like hey, let's make tea and then in a year or so we'll sell it as alcohol or hey Or it's expiring what do we need to do with it?
We're gonna make extra month then if we make tea at like seven o'clock in the morning what I don't know It's what alcohol it. I was playing long. Oh You just totally shifted gears No, I was just gonna say they made tea at like seven o'clock in the morning then it like eight o'clock at night They tasted it and we're like yes, this tastes uh Rutamentally like shit. Let's put some yeast in it make some tea make some money.
It's like old golf balls Let's make it a drink. I also brought some bowl of peanuts upstairs Cajun. Well penis No, this first time I made ball peanuts and they're way too salty. So enjoy I can't yeah, I'm gonna have to pass on that.
Yeah, I'm gonna know salt Trying to kill us motherfucker. Yeah. Well, I don't eat the penis anyway Brant likes to eat the penis. All right, all right half left.
I told you it's gonna be an outrageous show. Yeah, I'm under the influence of many things Well, I think thank you for joining us. I'm under the influence of alcohol. I mean that's kind of a given run So I say I'm gonna let him Rico the the rest of the day whether we're doing a podcast or not is going to be spent trying to Put your drink out of your nose again.
I've already got you twice. No, you got me once and he got me once Your white rum guy or dark rum guy. I'm a white rum guy. Oh, no, that's the wrong kind of rum Trying to have to because the dark room Maybe I forgot your own sugar free diet.
There's yeah, I don't give a fuck. There's some guy in China going Ron is fucking diabetic You've only got part of the medical records Ron's a lot more to deal if you get a black envelope in the mail Do not open it. Do not open it. If I get a black envelope bin the mail is getting it's probably born.
It's gonna get thrown out by her So thanks for joining us Ron. Yes Ron. Happy birthday again. Yeah, we don't get you too long at your high five that an ass and We'll go actually all right Hey, hey, welcome back.
I'm Brent. I'm taking dance place now. Yeah, it's just Brent and Steve and our good buddy Riley Welcome to the show Riley first time for everything. That's right Riley is my adopted son from a long time ago She's like all my children.
I paid zero attention and no support to him So he's pretty much just feral like a fucking wildcat Well, we've known we don't really what for going on ten years. Yeah, ten years I'm more than like twelve it's twenty thirteen. I got hired so it's been ten years ten years ten years We took it remember we took it better our wing and like tried to teach him everything I took his virginity outside. I do it.
I took it. Let's talk about that. I didn't count that. Yeah, yeah No one ever does listen.
It's like so uneventful. I'm just now joining the podcast. I got here a little late. Y'all heard me interrupt the last interview So we just what we're talking about fears.
Yes, like what scares you like childhood fears. You have any ongoing fears like penis or prolapsed vaginas That's pretty fucking scary. Have you ever seen one? Jesus Christ You what's good strikes fear in your heart son.
Tell us your secrets. I'm not a fan of not a fan of snakes. Okay Have you ever held a snake? No, because I've ever been was Like the whole fucking show like everybody's dicks outside of that moment Playing it off good boy.
I was I'm around underneath a house doing a residential job and I saw a snake They had plastic underneath the house and I was crawling and it was really weird because the um In order to get underneath the house. It was in their garage. Right. How many times did you see that down here?
Yes? Yeah, but out of all the houses you do 99% or not. It's outside So when I crawl underneath the house to run this wire, you got a booger bro. No, I got like a bump on the side of my nose.
Oh, okay I was just checking you got the white powder on what not like a booger on this mic comes back I'm like what the fuck is this on my microphone? I remember I was calling up and again your use outside. Yeah, access So I'm crawling I crawl in there and I'm thinking you know, you gotta go so far before you even close to where you need to get the wire So I'll snake it was black underneath. I saw snake underneath.
I remember I'm gonna Was coming out from underneath the I was like, I don't know snakes like that. So I didn't know what the fuck it was. I could you see? It was like almost black, but it was it was a small like baby one.
So I knew it was small, but Baby snakes are the worst snakes. Yeah, they don't control their venom. Yeah, they don't regulate shit. They're just like I'm gonna dump all my venom in you I'm buying something.
Let's go. I Gonna die I didn't know what kind of even was I just remember I was underneath the house I pull up my phone I called a customer. I'm like, hey, can you wiggle remember where I drilled? Yeah, yeah, I was like, could you wait?
I'm sorry to do this But I said could you wiggle it? Yeah, so you wiggled it and I fucking crawled past it because I'm thinking it's outside Access it was literally like right there. I probably would never ran into the snake if I didn't do I fucking ran out wire so fast. I got out underneath the house and I told him I was like I'm sorry I had to call you, but I said there was a snake underneath and I'm not trying to fuck with it And he's like well, I'm glad my wife isn't here because she would make me kill it today And I'm like I'm not gonna tell her if you don't tell her so and I was the quickest fucking wire run I think I ever like I'm just firing shots everywhere God, I know like now I know because you know, I do love you Riley and I know deep in my heart There has to be something else there has to be an irrational feeler of the dark or My house particularly you can see it down my hallway from my bed And I sleep on side where I can see out the door I can see all the way down the hallway the front door really I mean I Alright, so you're not in the same house, but like it's kind of way that same isn't it because then your old house have like a hallway With the bedrooms on each side.
Yeah, my bedroom down the very end of the hall. Oh like so if you're looking down the hall like right Yeah, this is a new new house because I hope you haven't been to that new one. I have been to the new one. I don't want to help move Yeah, okay, so I'm caught up.
That's how I'm caught up. Yeah, you know where you go But dude at night like when all the lights are off and like you can see like coming through the front door and I'm like fuck that Like me know over I'm like what the fuck I'm like I got close this fucking door No, there's nothing there But like it plays tricks on you man, especially if you have a fucking long hallway, and it's dark and you're looking down that motherfucker like I don't know it just feels weird. I'm like they just added this section on so it's newer than the rest of the house Like no one's died in here. Maybe maybe not true.
So what about you? Brent spider's heights dark heights. Yeah, I'm really not because of the work we do like RIP on Troy, but that was somebody who got afraid of fucking high he wouldn't go up a six-foot ladder I'm the top guy who's like I'm afraid of it, but if my job like I gotta do it. I'll just I'll do it.
Yeah, you gotta suck it up Like I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of like you won't catch me bunchy jumping No, but I'll jump off a cliff in a water like for funds I don't like being up on them like Oh fuck extension First time I ever crawled up one. I'll never forget that I was dirty Mike Mike pulled me into office after that I don't know if you remember this or not I don't know if you know, but Mike pulled me in was like he's like are you afraid of heights? I was like no and he's like because he's like I was like yeah, that's not what Steve said, and I'm like Mike I said I'm not scared of heights It's just going up that ladder with the fucking Ricky race.
I was like yeah, I'm not down for that You know as like I just didn't feel safe I said that's all I this my first time ever on that's the first yeah Because you guys like you and Brandon started like right out of school like yes Touch ladder or anything like they came fresh out of school Troy had to teach me how to use a drill I'm not gonna lie. I watch Riley drill his finger. Yeah, I was fine He's like holding his hand up. I'm like waving out.
I'm like hey man. I was like no I drove myself I told it to my own hand. I mean I know firsthand There is another fear that you have oh my god. I know what it is.
I know what it is. Okay, so can I say it? Brant Brant gets Brant gets first yeah Imagine what we came up with actually you know, do you not know what we're talking about? I really don't I guess I don't remember the horse name.
Oh fuck Because it was you to there yeah exactly it was me and Brant and Riley and yeah we we unfortunately I Have a really bad habit of like when people present information to me I have to follow up and like verify that information so information was presented to me that a gentleman was actually killed by a horse penis because of intercourse with said horse and I found a video and I thought I would share that with Riley and Riley's sensitive stomach wasn't ready for that Pretty much the rest of the day all Brant and I had to do was go Make a horse noise and it was Riley going I Was so bad it was so funny and Brant and I couldn't stop laughing and Riley's like ready to throw up on him It's like fuck you guys. I'm like, okay Dude there's there's um I went with my brother and ran into a movie and outside in parking lot We were bullshit for like hours because it was like a late movie right they got me to fucking throw up in the fucking parking lot Like cuz I just have a week stuff dude I've been dealing with the dragons since my girlfriend's been gone So I deal with the dragons because no one's home but me exactly like bearded dragons They actually have the dragons I know I thought I'm like are you doing heroin? No, there's actual kids each have one bearded dragon I have a good one and the one likes to shit and I had to clean up the shit today and as I'm cleaning up the shit horrible I am whoa you have some step kids right basically. They're all out of dot diapers.
Yeah, no They're both not a good and diaper age. No and she we've got kids and she was like how would you even have to read Oh diarrhea shit like why is it orange? What did you eat? I just bet you like pureed green peas Why is your poop that color and she stopped about it?
And I was like I don't know I would be one of them I've seen a Facebook video where they do the dads and they're like I was like that's probably be fucking me is I'd be one of the As I'm fucking wiping the shit off I'm gonna do it but I'm gonna almost throw it back Yeah, pretty much. I have a very Kid got shit on me It's only right that I throw up right in the space I had a hard enough time with the dragon shit And all I did was like take it and get it white in the fucking like I have to do Like I said, I've got a bearded dragon and when they shit it is like You wanna be a dragon? I did. His name is Sticks Like that was like two girlfriends together You still have it?
Yeah, she left it I've never seen it I got it in the settlement I got it in the settlement It's okay So yeah, it stays in my room I got like a huge cage. I built like this big fucking thing I was telling you guys to never show me your dragon I know I wanna see your dragon snake You wanna see my dragon bruh? Yeah, but their poop is so stinky man Like it is foul Like mine he would eat us a poop on the red He's just like I'm gonna save this up So I can get maximum dukey And then when he does poop And the fucked up thing I'm about yours But like they don't go anywhere near it Like they will go to the other side of the cage To avoid it Yeah, it's poop I can't be near it Well, my wife thought it was gonna get birds I didn't realize like they shit Outside the cage Yeah fuck birds My girlfriend We had like two weeks And she was like I can't do this I'm like I told you that before you bought them You're free My grandmother had one and it would shit Wherever the fucking was in the house Cajun on My girlfriend, her sister stayed with us And she had like one of those African grey red-tailed fucking parrots Yeah Again, I thought he was cool I wanted to be friends He didn't like me He tried to bite me He actually bit me several times All I wanted to do was have him sit on my shoulder While I played video games With a patch on my eye Seems cool as shit Yeah, like how cool would that fucking be? No, this motherfucking wanted to bite me on time And apparently when he eats he's very picky And like I only like half of this food The other half is going on your floor Fuck your fucking couch Yeah, so I don't like birds man No birds are And I did teach him how to be like fuck you Cause every time I walked by him I was like fuck you My dad wasn't a fan of when we were in Florida He didn't like my grandma's bird Cause he always fucking bit his When he was out and about But his big toe like three times Made him bleed Yeah, so he was like Speaking about toes, Brent has a serious toe injury I mean off a water slide You know like the flatable water slide I was climbing out the steps And I slid down them and they have like really tough seams And my toenails caught the seams all the way down Right?
And my toe just started bleeding from underneath the toe Cause it got ripped back far enough So I'm telling birds now Fuck that day Like a motherfucker Alright, so I don't know man I feel like I want to do something special with Riley Yeah, let's do something special Fuck kill Mary Fuck kill Mary Fuck kill Mary Alright, give me three names Jesus President Obama And Hillary Clinton God, I mean you literally left me in the stump Cause I mean there's a Democrat, there's a Republican, there's Jesus Christ So what are you going to do? I mean I'm laying pipe to Jesus Yeah, they're both Democrats I was like, two Democrats in the Two Democrats in Jesus Ah, that's a Fucking next political running Let's do this real Alright, for real For real Let's pick the names first Let's pick out the Alright, I'm going to go I'll give one Scarlett Johansson Okay, that's a good one I'm going to go with What's that? Johnny Depp's wife No, that's an easy kill What's that? Is it Zendaya?
Oh, Zendaya from Dune Yeah, yeah, yeah Spider-Man, yeah Spider-Man, yeah Yeah, Spider-Man and Dune Okay, and now we need a third one Mmm, your girlfriend Ooh, no, don't put him on the spot like that Hold up, no, you're about to You're about to get me buried six feet Right, I'm just going to find me Like, you're going to fuck this one I'm going to bury this one Alright, that's still six feet deep I'm not looking to get six feet deep Uh, let's see, the third one is going to be Who's hot right now? Kelly Clarkson No, what? I don't know what you are I don't know what you are Would you be a better pick than Ooh, yeah, would my girlfriend, Ali Parton? I guess you can be any three of those Absolutely So, Dolly Parton Sorry about your hands on the day Can I have a good one?
Where do you fuck kill Go, hold up, I got to know After marriage what happens Does this ex-life go down or? You don't know That's what happens That's serious, it goes down Yeah, no I've heard that Again, I need to know before I do Cause we're doing a Mary Fuck Kill Okay, we're gonna need a third Cause we're gonna need a third Alright, first two Let's go to your hands on the daedia Sunday is that Spider-Man Dune Woman The Mix chick chick from like Dune We're the new Spider-Man Light skinned dark black girl Disney girl. Yeah, and then Scarlett Johansson You know she's a little crazy runs like I gotta go think about this shit You know dolly They're crazy so all right all right, right All right, well dolly's close to the hill so I'm gonna kill dolly Oh my god Cancel me that's fine. No, you don't even know me.
That's fine. They don't work. We don't have any bosses address is Oh for you. Yeah, I mean she would provide it for you cuz she's rich as They're all fucking richard to me.
They all gonna be my sugar mommy either way that is true. So um you got the big old titties though Yeah, listen, I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna marry scarlet and hope that my sex life does not ever diminish and then I'll just fucking They don't I mean that's all I asked about the marriage because if it goes to zero I'd be like well looks a little crazy as fuck which is always a good doesn't have oh yeah Yeah, she would probably be a fucking woman, but she's like super skinny I'm not in a secret. I mean you fuck her before you marry so garlic now you're like this is fucking boring Yeah, I want her to choke and spit on me a little bit. I don't know I was weird at June says Well, there's no water.
She choked me out. I couldn't breathe and then I came I don't know what happened right magic She made me ride the worm That's code for pegging, but if my girlfriend ever hears this I love you to death and fuck this question He's like baby. I wouldn't have any of them just you I Offer to say her as one of them. You're like no.
I'm not doing that. No, no, because I can't well. No, I This is why I love Riley does he get so like upside down with himself I do I just like fucking mumble mouse, but that's why we love you man. I'm one of a con you are I think your seas that you believe that you fear might be true I mean the whole covid thing that you all brought up.
I don't I I've had it once But did you die? No, and I never got back so Yeah, so what's that tell you I had it? I've had it literally two times full effects the first time I did get like medical treatment second time actually let me think about let me digress I got medical treatment both times the medical treatment that I received was the same both times and I came through it with flying colors With over the counter prescribed medicine. Here's the thing.
I didn't get a fucking shot I didn't get a booster. I got vaccinated my wife did not we both got covered around the same time Mine ended and I hardly had any symptoms and she thought she was fucking dying really hey I raw dog that's yeah, and she had a hard time with it. I'm wrong dog the whole thing and I felt shitty for 34 days. That's it.
Yeah. That was it. I mean they are I mean like I said if you eat You know, you know how you all said that everyone's different I'm wondering if there's just different chains originally because everyone in my house went the same way like my household at the time Literally everyone had the same there was no one was affected different in my household And we think it stemmed from one person when they offered the bat soup when I ordered Chinese I was like I gotta try that shit and I mean That's probably where it originated from me, but I mean which part of China though Oh Right, right? I have a little raw raw bat meat in there.
Well, thanks for joining us. Thank you Riley No problem. Oh, it's been a pleasure. So good.
Oh, again. It always is a pleasure. He's like my little kid, man I love him. I mean you always fall Troy over me.
I know they say right should be here. I say nay I'll never forget. Oh my god. All right guys.
We're gonna take a little break and we will be right back Welcome back. Welcome back. I'm back. That's your wiener.
Look at this is the trio the trio is back in action Wow, we started off with two and now we end with three I mean we talked about my Unrealistic fear of crocodiles under my bed. Yeah, but yeah as a kid. Oh as a kid. Okay.
Yeah I had to like jump into my joke. I had like jump into my bed Oh, I used to I had a fear of something under my bed. I got something I wanted to get my ankles one time I had a I don't know if you remember my pet monster Yeah, I had one of those I had one of those and one time like my cousin was saying I had my sister was there And we had put it up on the bunk bed cuz I had bunk beds And like we walked in the room were like dude that thing is like looking at us like it like it like and we were like So scared to go in the room like we can't go in there like we have to get an adult to take that thing So do you think they like created shit like that to make kids less scared like Oh my brother turned into a monster like really a monster So I'm wondering if they like tried to make monsters less scary make them in the toys A real monster Little monsters With Fred Savage. I was a dope as maybe a kid.
I would love that goes busters cartoon. Yeah, so like maybe they tried to like soften Monster because they're real Maybe Your parents if you heard that theory about why? It's like built into kids to be scared of the dark or scared of like monsters in their closet Isn't it like like lions in the yeah, I was like generational like in your DNA like be afraid of like big cats at night Yeah, really yeah, because if you think about it the most dangerous thing at night is definitely a big I mean if you were a caveman like something coming in at night would definitely well like that's the one thing getting you at night Like you're not a crocodile isn't gonna snoo don't even get a crocodile. I'm not gonna eat guess what you know We'll eat your child.
Yeah, I mean your kids now. Who was it you now? Yeah? Yeah?
Yeah every time I go hiking like I'm like That's furry shit. That's a bear or a mountain lion like Dude guys for me has game cameras back on the reservoir and he's seen links and fucking Bobcats back there Oh, yeah, like Bobcat my house. We'll see that thing like if a house cat wanted to fuck you up How's that would fuck you up for you? Stop it.
I mean you'd win Can you but like like imagine if you're cat it's probably one Dan imagine if your cat was like fuck Dan I'm gonna kill you wanted to fuck me up. He could I mean you would win yeah eventually a Bobcat You would win a mountain line dude Can angry cat I was gonna see you ever seen some of the video of like Bobcats just randomly attacking motherfuckers like they Yeah, they go full in yeah, like for size versus like when you get like mountain line size where it's like oh That's as heavy as me like I'm fucked like yeah, bro in high school I didn't see it happen, but my brother did and said it one of the mechanics in the marina that we grew up next to My house cat Daisy just like sucking some shit stalking some shit Nothing that weird could be chasing a butterfly right fly a fucking 20 pound fucking Not not a groundhog what are the things go for no muskrat Dude I had never seen one of those in real life bitch fucking like leaps into the air Jumps on its back sinks her fucking teeth into the back of its neck Yeah jumps off walks away like she's walking away from fucking explosion like I just did it I just dropped a mic on this muscle she was not interested in eating that motherfucker at all just like now This is my yard. I just wanted to kill it. So it's very good in fact.
Let's talk about cats. Yeah the Most dangerous as far as kill ratio. Oh is the smallest cat cat in Africa Yeah, it's a cat no bigger than a house cat really it has Yeah, it's like over 80 over 80% kill ratio like 80% over any yeah Birds and fucking like lizards and shit, but it kills all every fucking time every time I go to like the zoo I look at like the tigers I go dude if that was like out in my neighborhood like what the fuck I do is killing machine doing like it is like it's like a thousand pounds dude. It will murder me like there's nothing I can do about it is not hurting me.
Yeah, like if I see it, it's too late Dude even the small little bitch cats like a fucking links would fucking ruin you There was a lady at the flea market in lassen. Yeah, they had one of those sable cats Oh, they are beautiful, but I'm thinking a little too big for me Bro, that is like the size of my dog. Yeah, and if this cat I mean I know how I'm losing cats are 50 pound cat Like I don't want to fuck with a 50 pound cat No, dude, you give a cat fucking catnip the wrong way and they want to fuck shit up I mean you get a mouse. You know the manks is minks makes the cat yeah So it's a cat that's like is that the man coon the giant one?
No, actually called a manks. It's It's not a house cat, but it looks like one if it was like I cannot wait to carry out. Yes We can just wear a background. I'm a huge fan of Kerry.
Sorry. No problem Eminem So it's cat what but like if somebody just used like the clicking and large button on their computer Just like went boo just like dragged it up to the corner about fucking 20% bigger, dude I saw one of these motherfuckers jump from the ground To the roof of something like the guy that had the manks this bitch went just like Like occasionally Usually kind of will freak me out and like jump to the top of the fridge Yes from the floor and this bitch jumping the ground to the roof to the roof wow like these Well, no, I mean in all honesty because they're the most terrifying thing to like if you had to pick Something that in nature that would terrify you like a wolf doesn't scare me like I feel like a pack of wolves scare This shit on me. No, what we mean you don't know This is food and you're like what they gotta be hungry. So are you gonna be alive?
You're gonna be alive when it starts eating you yeah, yeah, don't be jerky stick. It's gonna be like that's not enough I don't think that scares me as much as no, you're right Like if you were just because a wolf you're gonna hear it you're gonna hear like a whole pack of wolves makes noise a fucking cat a Mountain lion you don't fucking make noise man. That's just gonna be hiding in the fucking dark I mean you see I was gonna be like I mean you see the videos of people like hiking and they turn around There's just a cat following them like oh this cat's trying to kill me now I gotta walk backwards so would you fight a cat like would you go after it or would you just like I would walk backwards? And then if it ran I would fuck a cat up bro I'm like would you like go teeth and fucking nails bro, whatever I can do I'm grabbing it by his neck and I'm slinging it to the ground Like caveman style like by the feet fucking boom boom boom So let's get a slip away from you and snap your neck in no time I'm gonna give you a 100% honest story And it doesn't involve a cat it involves a 350 pound wild hog.
Oh fuck a hog, too Okay, so I was out hunting it's a cute little pig thought it was gonna be like a deer hunt But as I walked out into this open field There's a place called hellhole swamp and there's this big open fucking field out in the middle of the forest as I'm walking out there There's two fucking hogs big black fucking like Russian bores and I'm like yes I want a fucking kill one so bad so I stalked this thing within 20 yards Which is like my kill zone on a fucking with a bow and I had a bow and that's what I hunted with a bow Drew back perfect broadside shot cut loose. I saw the arrow hit the hog. It made a noise It just went right it went for like two seconds towards where they like the arrow went all the way through it Yeah, it went that way for about two seconds and then turned and came right out. Oh, yeah, it probably was like what it came this way That whole like I'm gonna fight it that moment actually came into my mind So I'm like all right, so how fast can I reload this though get a arrow drawn back and get my knife Hopefully get a fucking arrow in it and I like threw that away because there's no way I was gonna be fast And if they're coming towards you they their skulls are so fucking hard like an arrows not gonna That's like a miniature rhino.
It's a fucking tank It is so then I unclick my fucking knife and I'm thinking alright man if it comes down there I'm just gonna fucking I'm gonna go be spending fight this bitch and then I look up for a split second and I see this 350 pound fucking animal charging me And I was like fuck all of it I threw my bow and I ran like a bitch to the fucking woods inclined to fucking tree bro Because good cause I was like that's how you do there's no scenario where I fucking win this That's why you're here today talking with this right This you have both your legs and all your arms and totally counterintuitive to my nature because my nature would have been like I'm gonna fight this bitch fucking 350 is an exaggeration, but yeah Punch the camel punch it kill it now that yeah, I mean even if 150 pound hog would Fuck anything close to your weight like wait, I'm not hog would fuck you up my uncle His brother they had a hog farm and it was like domesticated hogs. Yep. They were loading hogs to take him away Well, they use canes to like tap them to get them to move. There was a big bore hog And I'm like we're not talking to us or anything right yeah, cuz they're gonna mess get it He wouldn't go on their trailer So his uncle my uncle's brother hit this motherfucker hard with the cane the hog turned on him jumped up with its hooves Stomach open what they took into the hospital with like him holding his guts from falling out of his body So like yeah, like hogs are fucking terrifying bro.
I mean just that story is gonna give me nightmares. Yeah It's crazy spill your guts It's crazy like when wild when domesticated pigs get loose and they become bored like within a couple weeks like a lot of like feral hogs around here Like oh a pig got out. Well guess what like two weeks you didn't find him guess what he's a born-out He will fuck shit up like yeah, they're like they immediately like grotesque or physically changing there's snout elongates and shit That's fucking wild. That's what what if he escaped from our cages of society?
What would we become return to monkey? What he goes like deprivation taking like turns back into like a Neanderthal Look at that there was a movie called Iceman where they fall to do no, I saw that shit That was good. Maybe cry at the end. It is like we're shit makes me cry anymore, but I get another yeah probably Like I can watch mass murder But if I watch a tick-tock about some lady that raises baby fucking jumping spiders on the spider dies It's like an emotional crush All the states yeah Like I'm like reverse into like a oh is that yeah, okay?
It's good one, but no yeah, like I find myself crying way more like I watch a movie and I'm like Shut up Stories Skin starts prickling up Yeah, nothing to do with Yeah, cuz then it's like you got to sit there and be like yeah, man I'm not crying. I mean when it comes to animals like wait side like weight ratio like anything close to your weight It's gonna fuck you up. I think yeah smaller than I can focus up. Yeah, I say close to like 150 pounds I'm fucking 70 pound goat.
Oh, yeah Do not even a setty pound go like my friend Ryan had a goat and like yeah He actually had to bring it to our house one time during hurricane because And like my dogs up like fucking poodle I got two people's like they're like what the fuck did you bring in our house? Why did this dog get horned? Like they're trying to play with it. I think like I'm not fucking playing with you.
Yeah pretty much my Shoot that show just run up and like hit you in the leg like fuck you. I know you feed me Fuck yeah, my family we were young kids my brother and I when we got goats on the farm and the number one rule was Don't fuck with the goats. So I mean you can We were like oh that interprets into absolutely fuck Fun and they want us to have fun so both of them had like these little fucking knobby ass horns Right, and we would just run out in the field and grab by their fucking horns to swissle twist our heads and shit fuck with them That was cool until their horns got about like Yeah, we would go near the fence and they remember they're like They're like oh I remember you forget that shit bitch as we would walk in the pasture bam They would fucking nail us both of them and you're like what the fuck dude and they're trying to fuck you up like I want to knock on the ground so I can make you know bump him in the fucking head and kill him just smash him with My horns I've heard that from people that have had goats like baby goats are the shit cool like you can like get up on like a tree Stump and they'll be like what you try you try to get higher than me bro. Yeah park or yeah They're like fucking hop up and like try to knock you off and it's adorable Because they're small like a little pink as soon as they're like getting a nice room you don't want to fuck with goats if I had Goats I would probably get the painting ones, but they would have to just yell at them They would have zero like they would stay fucked up.
They would stay in the state of Imagine like as soon as somebody else rally with that though, but I mean yeah because I can't help it Yeah, but they're kind of okay with it because that's their life. Yeah Like if somebody made a really loud noise that you just fucking Like melted out you're just like Tight out wait till they're jumping about the fainting cats though. I do that with my wife. Yeah, no fainting cats now No way.
Yeah, and that's why it makes me How can I get one there's I mean you can look it up There's video of fainting cats and they have like they call it fainting goat disease because of the same thing and it's just like a weird genetic Flaw where if they're startled they fucking pass out It's like a you know like Riley look at him Exactly back. Oh, he's out. It's like a genetic thing like like how they say that when people pass out from blood It's okay because in the other lot is in the past It would have been a defense mechanism like if you see a lot of blood it would be a defense for you to fucking zip out because you know It would look like you're dead. Yeah, well that he's like cats like apparently they couldn't handle like any sort of stimulation And they only live for like fucking three months Oh, because it was like constantly getting fucking knocked out, but it's so adorable to watch though That's where I was today my father laws and he does that so when I did my toenail like I walked away my toenail I was like my bad dude.
Let me go rinse this off. Fainting goat. Fainting. Yeah, he just looked away like up in the sky Like I can't look at it.
Yeah, I don't have that with anything other than like Here's a thing of the fuck is puke. I'm even too No, see I'm not like that but like let's say you fell and you're fucking bone was sticking out your leg I might be like I can't help you, but I'm not gonna pass out, but I'm gonna be over here. Yeah Yeah, I'm not gonna help hold you together, bro. Sorry about your bone It's more like I don't know what to do so I'm not gonna get involved so Based on how well today's podcast has gone I'm recording.
We're gonna have to listen to it But I feel like this could honestly be the start if it goes well of some I have some shit like camping or something. I have a hot hit trail in North Carolina Really? Yeah, I've been wanting to do since we started podcast years and years ago It's literally like a haunted trail like supposedly there's a woman everyone sees on this trail what did yeah, right? I wanted to do one from a house too So like my daughter's going to well my daughter's going to horror What are they called how are we?
For birthday because they're birthday is not over but you're talking about an actual haunted house So how I feel like is and this is very important to all you listeners whether you be a robot or not Bangladesh wherever you're from me and more apparently let us know how you feel about this podcast like did you like it? Did you hate it? Do you want us to do more? Yeah, definitely give us a feedback so we know because we really want to do some like rough and Dirty Dan and I were thinking about doing a survival podcast.
Yeah Almost people have to like no, I'm saying like, you know, like we got to build a fire and we're gonna Tell me about it sounds like a yeah all the info on like how to do it like our survival techniques Then you gotta make a fish you gotta make a fucking fish pull you gotta Wait catfish until like six in the morning. Yeah, I got like one of two guys on the boat that got a catfish nice got the aids Cuz I catfish Guys Is the Riley Riley made the show yeah, we're in a scout girl. Hey say goodbye Riley Hey, and real quick. I'd like to offer a special.
Thank you to this woman for letting us use her private space like this Is your room bedroom kitchen? We're almost at and thank you. I don't know who that is. He's hiding is that the Sun?
Right Jacob. Yeah, yeah Yes special. Thank you to you