S4 – EP14 – “Katie’s Death, On Her Terms”: Jackie L. Disch on Love, Advocacy and Loss

In this episode Rosie Moss speaks with Jackie L. Disch, who shares the story of her wife Katie and the life they built together over 23 years. A relationship rooted in deep acceptance.Katie’s death came suddenly in 2020 after a series of strokes, during a time when COVID restrictions meant hospitals were inaccessible, isolating, and frightening. What followed was a rapid shift from normal life into end-of-life care at home, as Jackie supported Katie through her final weeks.This is a conversation about presence. About what it means to stay when things are hard. About advocating for the person you love, even when every part of you wants a different outcome. Jackie speaks candidly about the decisions they made to prioritise comfort over intervention, and the complexity of holding both love and loss in the same space.There is honesty here about fear, anger, and the practical realities that come after death. But there is also something else running through it, a thread of dignity, connection, and what Jackie describes as “living grief” rather than moving on from it.This episode covers:• A long-term partnership built on acceptance and deep emotional safety• The impact of COVID on medical care and end-of-life choices• Katie’s strokes and the rapid progression to home hospice  • Caring for a partner at home, including communication loss and dependency• Advocacy, autonomy, and the idea of a “good death”• The emotional reality of early grief, including anger and administrative overwhelm• Lockdown, stillness, and being unable to avoid grief• Writing, memory, and learning to live alongside loss rather than resolve it