S4E05: Jess Rona – Doing the Hoffman Flip

Jess Rona, dog groomer extraordinaire, star of Haute Dog on HBOMax, comedienne, and new Process graduate talks with Drew about self-compassion, vindictiveness toward self, and something Jess calls the Hoffman Flip. When Jess first came to the Process, she heard only whispers from her Spiritual Self. Now, her Dark Side is only a whisper while her Spiritual Self guides her life. Jess calls this flip between the Spiritual Self and the Dark Side, The Hoffman Flip. One of the most valuable things Jess took away from the Process is her ability to be compassionate with herself. Jess shares with Drew how she softened into her own humanity. When she came to understand where her patterns came from, she realized that of course, she’s like this. This realization opened the door even wider to deep self-compassion. Enjoy this vulnerable, engaging, and funny conversation with Drew and Jess. More about Jess Rona: Jess Rona is the most influential dog groomer today. She’s built a devoted following on social media with her signature musical slow-mo blowout videos and impressive celebrity pet clientele. A skilled groomer, content creator, and comedian Jess has created a multi-dimensional grooming empire. After releasing her digital grooming courses, she has solidified her position as a leader and expert in the grooming industry. Jess is the executive producer and star of the most adorable competition series of all time: Haute Dog on HBOMax inspired by her life and brand. When she’s not creating poodle content you, can find her at her unique flagship brick-and-mortar in Larchmont Village in Los Angeles. Or you might find her snuggling with her husband, actor Eric Edelstein, and their rescue mutts, Meemu and Chupie.  You’ll find more about Jess and her products and services here and on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube. As mentioned in this episode: Kristen Neff: The three steps of self-compassion. Listen to Kristen Neff on the Hoffman Podcast. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor & 90 seconds: When we feel and witness the physiological sensations in our body without reacting, the emotion dissipates within 90 seconds. If we continue to feel it after 90 seconds, we’re choosing to ruminate on and stay connected to the thoughts. Listen to Dr. Taylor on the Hoffman Podcast. Hoffman Process Terminology: Awareness Hell: In awareness hell, we are aware of our patterns and the things we wish we didn’t do, but we are still unable to change. We understand but feel stuck in this place of hell even though our awareness keeps expanding.  Our work must include three additional steps: Expression, Compassion, and New Ways of Being. All four make up the Cycle of Transformation. Right Road, Left Road & the awkward feeling of your new path: Those first steps onto the right road can feel awkward like learning to ride a bike.  Even so, we have to keep stepping forward onto the Right Road as we navigate this new unfamiliar place of connecting and living from our Spiritual Self.  Too often we stay on the Left Road, hanging onto the known familiarity of it despite its cost in our lives. Be. Do. Have.: We live in a world that puts the BE at the end. Our parent’s patterns and the patterns and messages we get from society tell us that we must always be doing something.  Generally, that means working: working to make money or working on ourselves. “Don’t just sit there, do something!” Then, if we DO those things, we will HAVE the right job, enough money, the right relationship, the right group of friends, live in the right neighborhood, etc. When those first two are in place we will BE happy and content. Well, that messaging is a pattern.  And it’s not the truth. We have to put BE first and focus and feed our being. We need to engage in the tools and practices that support our being. When we are not in our patterns and are more connected to our Spiritual Selves with an integrated Quadrinity, the action of DO comes much more naturally and authentically. Doing from a grounded place of being will yield far better results. Then, as a final step, the HAVE – the intimate partnership, the house, the community, the job – will fall into place naturally through the first two steps.  BE DO HAVE is the way to go!