S4E21: The Affair Isn't the End - Part 2: Sex After Betrayal

 In this episode, Jenni and Daniel talk with infidelity expert Michelle Weiner-Davisabout how couples can rebuild sex, safety, and emotional connection after an affair. They normalize everything from “hot and heavy” post-discovery sex to long dry spells, and offer practical tools for easing back into touch, managing triggers, and shifting from obligation to genuine desire. Michelle also explains why she believes choice—not a “bad marriage”—causes infidelity, and how he two-day intensives help couples move from crisis to traction.     Bullet Points:  It’s common for betrayed partners to feel  increased sexual desire  for the unfaithful spouse right after discovery—this can be a form of reclaiming and reconnection, not something to be ashamed of. After an initial “hot and heavy” phase, sex often cools down, which can  trigger panic  that the couple is sliding back into old patterns. Rebuilding intimacy works best when couples  start with low‑ pressure touch  (like hugs that are  explicitly not a prelude to sex) instead of jumping straight to intercourse. Many women experience sex as  obligation—understanding  responsive desire  and their own pleasure can shift sex from duty to something they actively want. Michelle argues that  “bad marriages don’t cause infidelity; deciding to cheat does”, and she uses  two‑ day therapy intensives  to give couples enough time to stabilize, process, and begin real repair. Links:  [email protected] intensive InformationAudiobook:  Healing from InfidelityWebsite: DivorceBusting.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.