S4E32: KarenBigman: Why Men Who Understand Menopause Have Better Sex

Karen Bigman's path to becoming a menopause sex educator is one of the most unexpectedly compelling origin stories we've heard on this podcast. She started in technology. She raised children. She worked in restaurants. And then, in her early 50s, newly separated after a 25-year marriage and struggling to orgasm with a new partner, she found her way to a sexual medicine practice run by Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus, where a nurse practitioner handed her a little blue bullet vibrator, suggested she try it in the next room, and Karen came back five minutes later saying "you just changed my life". That moment is the seed of everything Karen has built since. Her platform, Taboo to Truth, is dedicated to dismantling the two most pervasive myths she encounters in her work: that sex is something people stop having at a certain age, and that it's a topic too taboo to discuss openly. Her course, Men Meet Menopause, is built on the radical premise that male partners, often the most confused and the most shut out from the conversation, deserve their own education, their own language, and their own practical tools for showing up during one of the most significant transitions their partner will experience. In this episode, Karen joins Jenni and Daniel for a conversation that covers a remarkable amount of ground with warmth, humor, and genuine clinical depth. They dig into why menopause remains under-discussed even in 2026, the lingering shadow of the Women's Health Initiative, the male reluctance to name what they're observing, the shame women carry about bodies that are changing in ways they didn't expect. Daniel introduces the compassion sandwich, leading with care rather than observation, as the reframe that changes how every difficult conversation lands. Karen talks about the five pillars underlying sexual disconnection in midlife couples, and what it looks like when one of them wobbles. Jenni brings in the Cheesecake of Pleasure- her clinical framework for expanding a couple's repertoire beyond intercourse as the only available flavor, and the conversation around grief, creativity, and what it means to look forward to something bigger than what you're losing becomes one of the richest exchanges of the season. Karen's concept of sex snacks sits beautifully alongside it. Both frameworks point to the same clinical truth: when intercourse is temporarily or permanently off the table, the answer is not resignation. It's creativity. It's building a palette of pleasure that belongs to this season rather than mourning the one that's passed. Karen closes with the line that may be the most important thing in the episode: don't give up. Don't accept the myth that this is done. Don't believe that sex is only for young people or for other people or for the version of your relationship that existed before all of this. The research shows that women over 60 can have the best sex of their lives if they want. The invitation: for women navigating menopause and for the partners who love them, is to join the journey together and find out what's on the other side.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.