Before we get to our show, here is a podcast we think you're gonna love. Friends, hi! Welcome to their Terrified and Tipsy... So I'll start. Okay. My name is Courtney. I love long walks on the beach, white wine, and I absolutely love scary movies. And I'm Stephanie. I also love long walks on the beach. I love white wine, but I absolutely f***ing hate scary movies. So Stephanie, can I ask you a question, please? Why in the hell would you want to watch scary movies and do a podcast on scary movies when you hate them? Oh, that's easy because you forced me. That's true. But you know what? There's wine. Yeah. So I'm basically only here for the wine. Lots and lots of wine. We're going to need it. Well, since we have very different feelings about scary movies, we decided to share our emotional struggles with you.
Yeah, so grab a glass of wine, your favorite couch blanket, and get comfy and enjoy the ride with us. Also, you can find their Terrified and Tipsy on Instagram and Twitter, plus all the podcast platforms. For links, head over to tipsypod.com. Cheers! I keep yawning. All right. Mantha, quit yawning. It's time for Perhaps It's You, an unofficial Unsolved Mysteries Rewatch podcast. I'm Liz. And I'm Samantha. We're here to say hello to the five. High five. High five, listeners. And BD Wong. Mostly say hi to BD Wong. Hello, BD Wong. Has anyone told him yet? God damn it. Do none of our listeners have any juice at all? Is that what unites us?
Oh, it'll just be a mystery. How are you doing today, Samantha? I'm okay. How are you? I'm hanging in there. You know, that's the bar. Really all we can ask for these days. I'm alive. I'm not having those COVID nightmares. That sounds real bad. So do you know what I'm talking about? I have like a vague recollection of what this is. Like I've seen a tweet about it or something. Is this nightmares you have when you have COVID? Yeah. And they are apparently so horrible they can give you PTSD. Oh my God. I guess I missed that part. Wow. Yikes.
It apparently gives you, yeah, some night terrors. You know how this disease seems like it was made in a lab to be as absolutely horrendous as possible? Well, it also gives you terrible nightmares. I was just about to say, I don't subscribe to any COVID conspiracy theories, but I kind of sort of understand where they're coming from because this is so wild. Yeah, that's a good point. You get nightmares and weird feet symptoms. You're out of breath even when you're just sitting doing nothing. It really sounds like something of the strangest ailments. Yeah, that is true.
No, but it turns out just the world is terrible. We don't actually need to make horrible things in a lab. They will just come to us. Yeah, that's great. That's great. Maybe that asteroid will hit us. Oh, that's true. What a blessing that would be. Say it in. Come on. Say it in. Give us something. Are you listening down there? I have a request. For some reason, I don't, this is dark. Okay, people, this is dark. I was talking to Mac the other day about how, you know, grim everything is.
watching Unsolved Mysteries, you sort of sometimes feel like, wow, it's amazing I made it out of the 80s, right? Like, how was I not kidnapped and murdered? Right. Because it just seems like child, and it wasn't, like, children were getting kidnapped, you know, right and left, but there was more kidnapping, and it feels like it was everywhere. And so I was like, oh, Satan, I've seen what you've done for other people. Why? Why am I still here? That's dark. It's dark, but I mean, I think we can all relate. I see what you've done for others. Why can't you do this for me?
All right, Liz, do we have any updates? Liz, we don't need you just dark rambling, making everyone more depressed. Okay, updates, updates. Yes, so Unsolved Mysteries has announced when a new reboot episode will be out. That is October 19th. Mark your calendars accordingly. Of course, we're talking about the reboot episodes on Patreon. We just recorded episodes two and three, which are depressing as fuck, but we know you've watched Marty, so give us a dollar.
Subscribe to our Patreon. We will be talking about the new episodes once they come out. And we're doing two a month. So yeah, subscribe and you can hear all of our thoughts. I'm so excited. We have very little to look forward to. I know I say this every episode, but like we really don't. But this is something to look forward to. It's something to look forward to. It's my calendars. Also, Netflix. You know how, I don't know if this is true on your TV, that Netflix will just like show stills of like random things that are going to come out. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Well, the other day I was putting on my shoes and there was a frame for a show called Young Wallander. And I was like, what? So that's actually like genuinely exciting to me that I'm going to get some new Wallander content. Yes, please. Bring it on. Thank you. And everybody's like, Liz, that show is...
pretty bleak. I was like, I don't care. Need it. Bring it. Hook it to my veins. Other update is that tote bags are going on sale last day of this month if you're a patron. So what is that? That is Monday the 31st and then the 1st of next month for everybody else. They are black cotton tote bags with beautiful holographic rainbow foil saying, perhaps it's you podcast. It sounds like women talking. WTF. You're going to want one. You know you need that in your life. You know. So that's $22 in the U.S. with shipping.
And there'll be other prices for international shipping. And if you're in Minnesota, you're going to have to pay sales tax because that's how that works. I think you're going to want to get your hands on one of these beautiful, glorious tote bags. It'll be worth it, I promise. They're so pretty and so sparkly. I love mine. That might be it that I have in terms of updates. I'm sure I pronounced some things wrong. I'm sure I just flat out said some things that were wrong. Oh, I know I did. That's like a given. That's just a given. I think I never addressed. So we released from the Perhaps It's You Vault, our X-Files episode. And apparently in that I said...
Chris Carter's birthday wrong. I got corrected on that. You call yourself an X-Files fan, Liz? I'm disappointed. I was going to say. Turn in your X-Files card. I was an official fan club member. Yeah, the thing about that is I'm glad that I don't know. I'm honestly, I'm glad that that information has left my brain making room for new information. Like there is a time when I would say 11 that I would have been crushed by that error. An error I never would have made at the time. But now that I am 500 years old.
I'm glad that part of me has moved on because the amount of X-Files information that has been retained in my brain seems like a huge waste of storage space. So when someone was like, no, Chris Carter's birthday isn't 1120. That's his wife's birthday. I was like, great. Glad. I'm glad I got that wrong. Oh, shout out to my dad. This is a little surprise, Samantha, that I opened some mail that came yesterday right before recording this. And we each got a custom mask, face mask that says perhaps it's you podcast on it. So next time I see you.
It has like our, you know, like banner graphic on a mask that it fit really well. It looks really good. You know, this is something we should have thought about because we could really get some free advertising out of some perhaps. Yes. As we walk around and people go, oh, that podcast is clearly amazing. What is it? You're wearing on your mask. Yeah, right? Oh, yay. But I'm like 100% sure that was from my dad. So thanks, Dan. I think that sums up all the updates. Yes? I think so. I think so. Maybe? Okay. So we're talking about season five, episode 20 of Unsolved Mysteries. And this is.
Weird. I feel like I should have some conspiracy theory about this episode. Like, what are they hiding from us? Is what I want to know about this episode. Because, as you know, Unsolved Mysteries is still on Amazon, but you have to pay for it now. So we switched over to YouTube, which is free. Except that this episode is not on YouTube. The whole rest of the season is there, but not this episode. Yes. It's so strange. You can, you can, see, I searched for just this episode by number, the easiest way. Didn't come up. That's weird. So I actually went to, like, the official Unsolved Mysteries page, went to season five, scrolled all the way to where 20 should be, and it goes from 19 to 21. Why?
What's going on? I need some information. First of all, is this a 2020 thing? Are we just erasing the number 20 from, we're just all over 2020? It's like 13 on an elevator. Yeah. It just doesn't exist. No more 20s. Death to 20s. But then, I don't know if we should talk about it now, but like something else is weird about this episode. Yeah, it's true. So what are they hiding from us? Were you able to watch this for free on Amazon? Yes, with a million ads. Yeah, same. It says something about like, it comes with your IMDb channel. And I was like, I don't think I have that. But I think if you have Prime, you do. But that just means they throw in a ton of ads.
So are they all available now with just a million ads? I'm so confused and I hate it. I don't know, but I want to know what they're hiding from us. And if you're a super fan out there with the DVD set, go to season five and tell us if episode 20 is in there. But I don't think the DVDs correspond to the same numbers as this. We have a mystery inside a mystery here. I think maybe this episode sucked. So they were just like, throw that out. It's supposed to have also sucked. Why did we keep the Alcatraz episode? People love that episode. And by people, I mean men.
Yeah, this episode is not great. This is going to be us complaining about the thing we're supposed to like. Because it is like, you know how in the 50s we're supposed to just make a casserole out of whatever you happen to have in your fridge? That's this episode. It's just like a leftover salad. That's a really good way to describe it. It totally is. Okay, let's get into it. So this is season five, episode 20. Not much good to say for it. And the first segment is an unexplained death. This is the unexplained death of Chad Langford.
On March 12th, 1982, military policeman Chad Langford was finishing what... That doesn't sound like a real name. Can we address, once again, me going, Chad Langford sounds like a name that would be on NCIS. It kind of doesn't sound like a real name. His codename, I'm not sure if the codename they used for him in the reenactment, which was Papa 2. I don't know if that was real. How did I miss that? Papa 2? They called him Papa 2 over and over again, and I could not stop laughing.
Like Papa Smurf? Like if Papa Smurf had a twin brother. This implies the existence of Papa One. I don't know why Chad was Papa Two, but yeah, they'd say it over and over again. How did I miss that? I was probably still texting you about how it was like this episode was missing. Anyway, go on. All right. So yeah, military policeman Chad Langford was finishing what should have been a routine patrol of his army base in Huntsville, Alabama. 30 minutes later, Langford radioed his base station, informing them that he was stopping to investigate an abandoned car. Within minutes, the backup officer arrived to find a bizarre scene.
Chad's military ID tag armband and his portable radio had been deliberately arranged in the middle of the street and there was no sign of Chad. Then a quarter of a mile away, the officer found Chad's body. The officer was shocked by Chad's condition. His head was bleeding and he was barely breathing. His cap had been stuffed in his mouth and the cord from his radar unit had been wrapped around his neck. His patrol strap was tied around his ankles and Chad's handcuffs were clamped on his left wrist. And then on his left hand was written a cryptic message in black ink. It said March 3rd and looked like the name Robert.
Yeah, this has a lot of symbolism going on. You would think choking with your own equipment would be enough, but it's like, no, and a cap is in your mouth, and you're handcuffed, and your IDs are in the middle of the road, and there's a lot going on. It's a lot. Strangely, Chad's .45 caliber pistol was found underneath his left shoulder. Ballistics tests would later show that two shots had been fired from his gun. However, it could not be determined whether either of them had hit Chad. So Chad Langford was rushed to Huntsville Hospital, where he died two hours later. He was four months shy of his 21st birthday at the time. That's what's really sad. He's so young. He's really, really young. Chad's father...
Jim Langford was shocked to learn that the army believed Chad had taken his own life. Did you name Jim Langford's mustache? I sure did. Well, actually, Mac did. Because he happened to be in the room at the time. And Chad's father has a real Wilford Brimley mustache. It's quite long. It's gray. It's boisterous. It's scruffy. It looks very Wilford Brimley. So the mustache is called the diabetes.
Shout out to Mac. That's a great name and very appropriate. The diabetes. Yeah, he throws in his two cents every now and then. So Chad Langford's father does not believe that he died by suicide. So Chad Langford was raised by his father and grandmother in a small Northern California community. He joined the army right after high school and was stationed in South Korea. There he earned several good conduct medals. At the conclusion of that tour of duty, Chad joined the military police at Redstone Arsenal in Alabama. According to his family, Chad loved army life and planned to reenlist. Then in early 1992, Jim Langford noticed that his son's behavior started to change.
This is what he said. In January, he called me and told me that he'd been asked to do some undercover work. He called me three or four times, and each time he gave me a little bit about the work he was doing. I had asked him just exactly what he was working on, and he said guns and drugs. Very specific. Although, I guess, you know, secret stuff. Probably two or three times he told me that if he was found out, that he was a dead man. At that time, I told him, you gotta get out of this. And he came back with, I can't get out of it.
So some cagey stuff. Not sure what's going on. When Jim Langford urged his son to talk to his undercover superior, Chad said he would not be able to do that for about another 14 days. But 14 days later, Chad was found bleeding with a fatal bullet wound to the head. That timeline coincidence. I mean, can't really be a coincidence. That's a very like, oh, in exactly two weeks, my superior will be back. And then in exactly two weeks, he's dead.
Yeah, it doesn't seem like a coincidence. The Army's Criminal Investigation Division reviewed Chad's death for four months. Their report stated that Langford had not been involved in any undercover narcotics work. The CID finding echoed the Army's preliminary judgment that Chad had taken his own life. The report included what the CID called a, quote, psychological autopsy, which apparently they just make up stuff about your brain after you're dead. This seems doobie. I don't know what. I've never heard this before. Psychological autopsy. It does not sound real. A post-mortem evaluation of mental health.
is how they described it in Unsolved Mysteries, which, what? It described Lankford as having serious lifelong emotional problems. Based on what? He doesn't have any history of that to support that. I have no idea what a psychological autopsy entails. It seems really dubious. His father was immediately skeptical after hearing the military's quote, official evaluation.
reasonably so he said i raised that boy for 20 years i know him better than that and the military has psychologists out to talk to you or call you over the phone and talk to you for 10 minutes and then they complete a life story of everybody and they're so far off base it's unbelievable which yeah i can't really blame them for coming to that the report claimed that chad's suicide was triggered by a breakup with his girlfriend however chad's former girlfriend roxanne disagreed um she said the cid report said that chad committed suicide over my breakup with him but that wasn't true i didn't break up with chad he broke up with me i had a feeling that someone was telling him to break it off with me and i think chad did it to protect me or something um i think he it seems like he didn't like Or he was worried about whatever undercover work he was doing or whatever assignment he had been given. And that that prompted him to break up with Roxanne. Yeah, like it put her in danger or something. It sounds like this breakup was really out of the blue. She didn't see it coming at all. Roxanne saw Chad for the last time, five days before his death, at the base nightclub. He seemed to have dramatically changed. This is what Robert Stack describes him as. Dressed in all black, wearing gang-style clothing. Okay.
To be fair, does that sound like a racially loaded term? Yes. Yeah. Is Robert Stack familiar with casual clothing? I'm going to say no. I'm going to say no. He's familiar with cruise wear. Sure, sure. And maybe like a tennis outfit.
Which is normal clothes. He doesn't know her. Well, Liz, he was wearing an earring. Oh, well, that changes everything. Never mind. Gang style clothing it is. He's literally wearing like a black t-shirt, black pants or shorts. I can't even remember. And that's like, that's it. That's gang style clothing. All right. Yeah. Well, and the earring. So pretty much seals the deal. He was also reportedly hanging out with several rough looking men who Roxanne had not seen before. So that's the gang, I guess. I don't know. That's his gang. I'm just guessing that means they're like not in the military. I assume.
They don't have like military haircuts? Or does that mean you're not wife? Rough looking men. You know what? Go either way. Langford's lifestyle changes tie in with another shocking CID. Lifestyle changes? He wore an earring. He's wearing an earring that's a dramatic lifestyle change. Do you remember when Harrison Ford got an earring? No, why would you? This is some like big 90s tabloid news that Harrison Ford got an earring. You know, he was in his 50s.
I think it was seen as sort of a midlife crisis, but it was also the tiniest, smallest earring you've ever seen. It was just a tiniest little gold stud in his ear. And yeah, that caused so much like entertainment to night fodder somehow. That's what I'm picturing for this guy. His lifestyle change. And it's really just like one little dot. I'm picturing, you know, this is how they should have done the reenactment. Roxanne walks into this nightclub. She gets just the glint of the earring, like flashes. It blinds her. Yeah.
It's hard to know exactly what's going on. The sources are dubious. So I'm not seeing a whole lot of evidence of lifestyles. I mean, he broke up with Roxanne. Apparently they were very serious and have been like talking about getting married. And then he pierces his ear. He's also 20 years old, though. Yeah. Who is surprised that a 21-year-old suddenly decides to wear different clothes and get an earring? That's like the least shocking thing in the history of anything. Yeah. So there's another shocking CID allegation. In their report, the Army claimed that Chad had been plotting to steal from the Army PX and cited interviews with three soldiers to prove it. Except it's...
Clearly the undercover work he was doing, right? I guess. I don't know if for a second he was really planning to steal stuff like this. I think he was trying to figure out who was, I don't know, doing stuff like that on the base. I don't think for a second. We already hear from his father. He's doing undercover work. And it's like, he was involved in this shady activity. And it's like, yes, undercover. What? Right. Yeah. I don't know what to make of this. Chad's father believed that there was a legitimate explanation for any contact his son may have had with criminal elements on the base. He says.
basically what you said this is part of his undercover work um chad left phone messages for several friends just hours before his death the cid interpreted chad's calls as a quote goodbye except that they didn't sound like a goodbye at all and he didn't even say goodbye they interpreted it as a goodbye which is weird because he rarely used that phrase yeah he's just like checking in with roxanne and like making sure she's doing okay he's not like you are the love of my life and I want something better for you. He's just like, hey, I hope you're doing okay. I haven't talked to you in a little bit, but we'll hang out soon. Is that a goodbye? His dad also points out that he didn't, there's people he didn't call, he didn't call his grandma who basically raised him. So like, who's he saying goodbye to? He'd already broken up with Roxanne. I don't know. This is strange. I feel like he broke up with Roxanne. Maybe he didn't really want to, or he did, but he felt kind of bad about it. So he was just like checking in to make sure she was okay. That's not a goodbye.
Well, he was pretty heated. Like, in the reenactment, they show, basically, he tells Roxanne he wants to break up with her. She starts, like, arguing, whatever, that, you know, why are you doing this? She's like, what? Out of where? Yeah. You know, I don't think this is very sudden. And then he gets mad and tells her to leave and, like, throws a glass against the walls. And she left kind of frightened. So I think maybe after he had cooled down a little bit, he decided to call her, you know, and whatever. So I don't know that it's a goodbye. Anyway, it's weird. I think it's from guilt. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. So the psychological autopsy claimed that Chad Lankford had a profound lack of self-esteem and was desperate to create a new image. I don't know.
I don't know. I find it so irritating that you can just like resmirch someone's character after they're dead like this. To prove the thing. Yeah. Killed themselves. Like there's no, we don't hear anything about him suffering from depression, which even that would be like a leap, but we don't hear anything like that. We don't hear that he was in therapy. We don't hear that he, you know, talks to someone about feeling suicidal. Like there seems to be no groundwork for these conclusions.
Right. No, there's a lot of weird things about his death that make you really wonder about this suicide. Well, you know when you commit suicide and then you lie down on the gun that you just used? Yeah, that's a big one. His gun was found under his back. And also, it sounds like the bullet grazed his head. Right. It didn't seem like how you would... I don't know. Anyway. This is a lot of effort for a suicide. There's a lot of staging. I don't know.
The staging is what the military points to as like, this is what he was doing. They said, this is what the military decided based on this psychological autopsy, that he was desperate to create a new image, even at the cost of his own life. According to the report, Chad felt that the glory eluding him in life would finally be his if he appeared to have died in a heroic last stand. He's 20. He's got the time to go do something. I swear, we know he was unhappy with his life. He got an earring. He went to Claire's, everybody.
Things were dark. He wore a black t-shirt to a bar. If someone gave me this... psychological autopsy about someone I knew, I think I would fall down laughing. It's so absurd. He wore black clothing, got new friends, and had an earring, and therefore he had lifestyle changes. He touched two white guys in a bar. That means literally nothing. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so they claim he called in a false report of an abandoned car, that he had staged the scene to look as if he had been attacked and then murdered. The official report even claimed that Chad's accounts of undercover assignment were a total invention. Chad's family, however, did not believe that he died by suicide, and neither did a Huntsville reporter named Julie Schultz. This is what she said.
She said, to start with, it was very bizarre, even from the night it happened, because the Huntsville Police Department and other law enforcement agencies never heard a word from the Army about any of this. And generally, when there's a police officer shot, there'll be a manhunt, you know, all hands on deck, whatever. Sure. Before the Army ruled that it was a suicide, there was just wild speculation about what could have happened to him. People were saying espionage, drug deals, all kinds of things, and it perpetuated itself as it went with the CID reports. So that's another weird thing, is that an officer is shot and, like, tied up, and he had reported an abandoned car, and then they don't have a manhunt, they don't search the area, they're, like, that's weird.
They don't, they're not clearly not interested in collecting any evidence. Clearly. So Chad's father also believed that the military police missed opportunities to question possible suspects that night. The MPs stopped two different cars within a mile of where Chad was found. And according to Jim Langford, both cases, the drivers would never question. He said, it's actually crazy. You're talking about a murder here. And it appears to me that anybody within a three or four mile radius of that place could have been stopped and questioned, or at least asked, asked about it. They already know. That's the thing. I think they already know what happened. Yeah. Chad Langford's final hours remained shot at a mystery. He did.
did he invent a tale of undercover intrigue and then stage a heroic death or did chad linkford truly die a hero gunned down in the line of duty that's what robert stack says let me see if i don't think there was an update on this let me look at the unsolved mysteries which is really sad oh it's super sad this poor kid he thought the army would actually care if he died and they did not Oh, yeah. So the result is unresolved. After the broadcast, the investigation into Chad's death was reopened by the army. But the army, if there were any results of that investigation, they've never been made public. The army investigated themselves and they found out what I'm doing. Basically. I mean, I think this stinks of a cover up so bad. I think it's really sad. I think maybe they asked him to do something that they didn't want to be held accountable for. I don't know. I think it just was something that would have made the army look bad. And so they didn't want to admit whatever happened. I just don't understand how you shoot yourself and end up laying on top of the gun like that. It makes no sense. It doesn't make any sense. Why is he shoving a cap in his mouth before shooting himself? Right.
Why isn't he leaving a note or saying goodbye to his grandma? Yeah, literally. Why is he shooting himself and then lying on top of the gun? Why wouldn't they want to find the person that killed him? I think they realized he was dead as a result of whatever undercover thing they were doing. And they went, oh, shit. And they just swept it under the rug. It's very sad. Sure seems like it. Yeah, he's so young. Poor Roxanne. Yeah, that's about right. Big, big hair. She deserves better. She deserves better. They all deserve better. Okay. Now we get two totally unnecessary updates of things we've already talked about. And it's super frustrating.
Then once you get through those in a couple other commercials, you'll get to a wanted that takes place in Philadelphia, goes back to September 10th of 1991. This is a weird case because it starts. The only reason it gets investigated at all is because the police get three calls from a convicted rapist, Julius Patterson. And he's calling completely out of the blue to tell people to tell the cops that him and his girlfriend, Paulette Height, had killed two people. And the reenactment of this is very funny to me because the officer is like, well, I'm still gonna need more information from you. Your social security number, where you are. It's like, lady.
He just confessed to murder. And it makes it seem like the confession wouldn't have counted if he wasn't willing to give his address. And his social security number? Well, I can't fully fill out this form, so never mind. Chuck it in the trash. So he was confessing. Really, I think he was trying to throw his girlfriend, Paulette, under the bus, but he was referring to two deaths, one in 1986 and one in 1988. One of the victims was Julius's own sister, and he told the police that he knew where the body could be found. Now, I don't think the police took this very seriously. I think they thought it was a prank at first, and maybe that's why she's asking for stupid information, like his social security number, because we see a reenactment of the police going to the address that he gives, and the current resident has only been living there a couple months, but she opens up the door, and the police are like, yeah, so we got a tip. There's a dead body in your basement.
which can you imagine and then and then she's like what no that's impossible like i don't think whatever so the police like get permission to go inside and look at the basement floor so what julius had said is there would be a patch of concrete that was clearly newer it like wasn't the same color as the rest of the concrete floor so they they do find that patch and i don't know if they get a warrant or whatever but they dig up that spot in the basement floor and right at the same time that this is happening julius has called back to the police department demanding to know if his girlfriend has been arrested So I'm assuming that they like, this is just my assumption. I assume they had some fight and he's like, I'm turning you in for murder. Imagine if that's what you had over your second other. You're like, all right, well, if you don't fucking do the dishes, I'm going to turn you in for murder. I'm going to turn you in for murder. Because he seems way more concerned with whether or not they've arrested Paulette than like, what's going to happen to him. Dude, you're going to be arrested too. Yeah. So the police are like, we don't even have any evidence other than your word yet. No, we haven't arrested her. So then it cuts back to the police are breaking through the cement floor and they do find a body. It turns out that Julius and Patricia had previously lived in that house with Julius's sister.
jesse however she had mysteriously vanished in the july of 86 this is super sad jesse was julius's disabled sister she was both blind and deaf julius was supposed to be her caretaker and it seems like absolutely nobody cared when she mysteriously went missing I don't think anybody would have ever investigated this if Julius hadn't called the police department and literally turned himself in because he was mad at his girlfriend. So he apparently murdered Jesse just to get her social security benefits. During this call, Julius also confessed. They say confessed, but I think he was like saying Paulette did it. And then they were like, how do you know that? And he was like, well, I was there. They don't say that. But yeah, but that's the impression that I get.
Anyway, so he also confessed to the murder of someone he was calling Gordy. Police learned that during the 80s, a man named Hall Luther Gordon, who suffered from Alzheimer's, had also been under the care of Julius Patterson. We learned that his girlfriend Patricia made her living caring for the elderly. She met Gordy at a local boarding house and I think became his caregiver. Hall Luther Gordon was last seen in the July of 86, which just happened to be around the same time his two caretakers moved away. Again, no one looked into this. No one cared what happened to Hall Luther Gordon.
And I don't think anybody would have ever investigated it if Julius hadn't gotten so mad that he called the police and turned himself in. These are two vulnerable people who just went missing. Nobody ever saw them again. And no one did jack shit. So that's what we need the police around for. Okay. Now we got a mustache. This is on Agent Lang. And it's not a good mustache, folks. I'm sorry, Mr. Lang. It is uneven. And it is like a patch missing. Like right on his lip. It's scrabbly. Is that a word? Scrabbly. Yeah. Okay. I call this the not meant to be.
this guy doesn't need a mustache no it looks bad doesn't improve your face sky yeah move on shave that off and move on with your life so this segment is a wanted because julius and patricia are believed to have stolen a total of 150 000 from their victims and then are also wanted for murder and they show you bank camera footage of the two of them like i don't know if it's them depositing this ill-gotten money or that's just the pictures they had of the two of them uh now we get another mustache it's on agent kane it's very pale it's like unsettlingly pale because it's kind of the same color as his skin it's a little hard to see you're like what's that texture above your lip yeah it's just it's a mustache it's not just like yeah i don't i called it mr whisper i hate it i kind of like that i hate it the creeps yeah because this mustache gives you the creeps that's true okay so um the segment is calling for people if they've seen julius and patricia who are wanted for murder assault armed robbery uh fraud basically every crime and it turns out that a viewer tip led authorities to patricia who at the time was working at a fast food restaurant in new jersey then we had another mustache this one is triangular very thick
Almost volcano shaped. I called it King Nark. It's a very copy mustache. It's like the top tier of a cop mustache. Yeah. Okay. So viewers tips led to the arrest of both Patricia and Julius. Julius led police to where he had left Hall Luther Gordon's remains. So this turned out to be a place where unidentified remains had been found in 89, which they then thought, oh, now we know who these are. Seriously, the police solved nothing in this case. Julius just confesses to crimes they were not even investigating and then leads them to remains that they had already found but hadn't managed to identify. And the only reason they ever find them is because of unsolved mysteries. Okay.
The next part is that Julius claimed that he had another body to show police, a previous victim he hadn't mentioned. But he uses this opportunity to take police out by these elevated railroad tracks, assault a police officer, and then make a 10-foot jump off of the railroad tracks onto the sidewalk below, and he made his escape. So then Unsolved Mysteries, again, had to appeal to the public. Hey, have you seen this guy? We had him, but we let him get away. And he was found a few days later. He was apprehended at a bus stop, still wearing handcuffs that he was hiding in a coat. The conclusion to this is that Julius was sentenced to, after a plea deal, to third-degree murder and involuntary manslaughter and was sentenced to 20 years. Paulette, who there was a lot less evidence against, got six years. So even though Julius, I think, was just trying to send Paulette to prison, he ended up in prison for a lot longer. It's a sad case because no one cared about those people. It's really frustrating.
It's not an example of a system working. At least not working well. Not working in a satisfactory way. That is true. Okay. We got only one more. This next one is so weird. I've been ragging on this episode about not being that good, being like a casserole made out of leftovers. But this segment actually is kind of a jewel in the desert. I wish it was in a better episode because just this segment is chef's kiss. Yeah, this one is quite interesting. Okay, so first of all, this segment is called Skeleton in a Box. So that gives you an idea of where we're going with this.
Sounds like a Halloween-themed porno, but okay. Okay, well, this segment opens with Robert Stack doing a very, like, Beyond Belief-style monologue with a box. He's got an old trunk. He's, like, under a spotlight. Earlier in the segment, he's in, like, a ballroom with a grand piano. I don't know if it's in the same room, but it has this very theatrical, over-the-top air, like he's in a play.
Yeah, and he has this monologue that's very... It gave me Beyond Believe vibes where he's like, imagine that you bought a box at a garage sale and you open it. I don't remember what he said, but it was very funny. He's like, you know that thing where you buy an old trunk at a garage sale and you open it up and there's a skeleton in it? Well, that's what this story is about. That relatable experience. He talks about how we're transported to another place and then we go to Thermopolis, Wyoming. I mean, yeah, that's where we're transported to. Of course. I mean, I saw that one coming. So in 1986, a longtime resident of Thermopolis, Wyoming, whom we will call Gabby...
That's what they call him in the episode. Who gets to make up people's fake names? That seems really fun. Where they're like, all right, this guy was named Fred, but we don't want to throw him under the bus. We're going to call him Gabby. What? Why? Maybe they draw straws for who gets to pick the name. I don't know. Oh, that would be so fun. Robert's dad gets the short straw and is like, yes. Yeah. Gabby it is. So he left some of his belongings in a shed, including an old locked trunk. He left the shed with a friend named Noel Sessions. Then six years passed. And finally, Noel couldn't stand the suspense another minute and decided he was going to open the trunk.
know if this reenactment is accurate and if really like everyone on his block came to watch him open a trunk because there's so many crowd there's so many people standing around and see what's inside it was just like yeah okay look we went to church we already propped sunday dinner we've got nothing to do let's go watch that trunk get open except that despite the fact there was a small crowd around to like see this mystery unveiled i assume they've known about this trunk for a while and they're finally like all right we're just gonna open this thing this is gonna be fun Everyone's reaction is so subdued in the reenactment. I think one person goes, oh my god, a skeleton. Seriously, it goes, oh my goodness, it's a skeleton. Like, okay. I think I might have reacted a little stronger than that if there was just a skeleton inside. Open up some fucking human skeleton in it. Like, oh shit. My goodness. It's a skeleton. Maybe that's swearing in that part of Wyoming. What do I know? Oh my goodness, that's really funny. It's really my new favorite thing.
Thank you, skeleton in a box. Noel's description of everybody's reaction was, quote, there wasn't too much said at the time. I don't know if anyone's in shock or what, but apparently they just stood around staring at a skeleton. I feel like Robert Stack is being very judgmental of the reaction. He's so sarcastic. Why is he so sarcastic in this segment? And he's like, well, I would have opened this box differently.
I don't know. This is like very goosebumps-y too, isn't it? Like, oh, and guess what it was? It was a skeleton. So Noel asks his wife what he should do with the skeleton. And then he said he wanted to just give it a proper burial. And his wife is like, no, we need to call the police. Okay, I respect that though. I kind of thought he was like, we are not bringing the police into this. I'm going to give these bones a proper burial. And his wife's like, are you fucking kidding me? I'm calling the police right now. We are not going to get trouble for a skeleton, but we didn't do anything wrong.
First of all, these things still belong to Gabby. Like, they're still his stuff. They know who owned this thing before them. They open it up, there's a fucking skeleton inside. His wife is like, um, no. Yeah, I'm not having the police come out and go, why is there this freshly dug grave? Oh, you know that thing where you open your friend's belongings and you find a human skeleton?
That's what happened. You know that common thing? The tale as old as time. So before they called the sheriff, Noel felt obliged to contact Gabby. Well, this is a true friend. He didn't want to call the police. He didn't want to throw Gabby under the bus. Unfortunately, his wife found out. And he's like super calm about being like, Gabby, I don't know if you're a murderer. I don't know what happened here, but I just need to know we know about the skeleton.
All right. Gabby told Noel that he'd never even opened the Foot Locker, which is where, this is where Robert Stack starts getting real judgy. Robert Stack, I feel like Robert Stack is so professional the majority of the time. And he, does he really care? No, he's just like showing up. He's doing the work. He's doing, he's like.
voiceovers with a lot of gravitas. But in this case, he's just like, there's no fucking way you didn't look. You can tell he's like, I don't buy this for a second. Okay, so Gabby told Noel that he'd never even opened the Foot Locker. Nobody believed it. Apparently Gabby didn't open it. He thought that he bought it at a garage sale. But according to Noel, when it came to the time and place, Gabby's memory suddenly failed him. Robert Snag is so detrimental about this. Like, it could have been Illinois. Or Wyoming. Or Oklahoma.
He doesn't even know what state he went to a garage sale and bought a mysterious footlocker. You can fucking hear the laughter in Robert Speck's voice. It's so amazing. It's the best. So Noel contacted John Loomley, the sheriff of Hot Springs County. Right from the start, Sheriff Loomley was suspicious. He said, I've talked to a lot of people about this case and everybody said that almost 99.99% or more that they would have opened it immediately upon purchasing it. I'm not even sure I would have made it home. I would have put that thing to the car and I would be trying to pry it open with a screwdriver. You just want to know. Yeah, it's like an old...
weird looking trunk that's locked. And something is in it and is rattling around. You're going to break that shit up. You could have just found treasure. You want to know. So two days later, the skull was examined by an x-ray machine. The test revealed that there was a bullet lodged in the skull. And now Sheriff Looney thought he might have a murder on his hands. Gabby, we're looking at you. Okay, first of all, you didn't think it was a murder before? It was a skeleton in a box. It was a hidden skeleton. A whole human skeleton. You die of old age in a box that gets locked and put in a shed. Or just like...
I don't know. You're caring for an elderly relative and they pass away and you go, I don't want to pay for a funeral. I have a box. So yeah, he thinks that he needs to have a chat with Gabby, according to Robert Stack. A chat. Gabby wasn't sure. Okay, Gabby, lucky to be white. I want to see someone else in that situation just get a chat. Oh, you know how you own a human skeleton and we don't know who it is or how they died? Yeah, let's just have a friendly chat. Let's talk about this. We need to have a word. So Gabby was unsure about the details. He said that he might have bought the truck in Wyoming, or maybe Iowa, or maybe Illinois, or maybe it was Oklahoma. Definitely the United States, though. He's sure about that. Yeah, we can narrow it down to one of the 50 states. So he says it might have been as early as 1973.
Maybe not. And then Gabby is interviewed for the show, but he's like blacked out. He says, well, I didn't know the guy. I didn't shoot this dude. I'm not even as old as the gun that shot him, which doesn't make any sense because you can shoot people with old guns. Yeah, that you could have inherited it and then used it. Yeah, I don't really understand any. So this is like one of the last things we hear from the sheriff is that Gabby that is mid 40s, the footlocker and the lock were made in the 30s, which again, old shit can still be around. I don't understand this logic. There's stuff in my house that is older than me. And yet I still own it. Yeah, yeah. Like.
That's not a mystery. I don't know. Anyway, he says, I don't believe that Gabby was the person that caused the death of this person, but my thoughts have always been that he has knowledge of who the person in the trunk is or where they came from, which I think is very generous, but I suppose they don't really have any evidence. Also, it seems like the whole investigation was done by this one dude. I'm not sure that they ever like with so much less evidence than owning human remains. Yes, this is quite true.
So on March 31st, 1992, Sheriff Looney turned the skeleton over to the Wyoming State Crime Lab in Cheyenne in hopes that maybe the bones could tell him what Gabby could not. Sandra Mays was the lab technician that examined the skeleton, and she determined that he was in his 50s or 60s, was probably about 5'8", and was a Caucasian male. The bullet was from a .25 caliber weapon that was produced in or around 1904 and was probably available in the United States around 1908. In an effort to identify the victim, Sandra Mays created a three-dimensional facial reconstruction out of clay. it's pretty cool only the eyes and hair are guesswork it is cool and they make like a very realistic person I don't know why they gave him this hair though the hair is guesswork so we made it terrible it's just like it's slapped on it's not like you can make it bald but it's like not symmetrical it's very weird like this guy we don't think he had a good haircut Yeah, they could have given him literally any hairstyle and they gave him like, I don't know, half human, half ape hair. I've never even seen hair like this in person. It's like longer on one side. It's something. If that was really his hair, we would know who it was. She did a very good job on his face. I don't know if that's like where her skill set ends and she's just like slaps some hair on him or what, but it looks so unrealistic. Okay, so when you're watching this episode, is this where it cuts off for you? Yes. Robert Stack is in the middle of describing this and it just...
The episode just cuts off. What are they hiding from us? The thing I was the most interested in the whole episode was this forensic recreation of the skull. And it was like, yeah, yeah, you don't need to hear anything else about that. On to the next episode. And I was like, what? No, I was on the edge of my seat. I do have an update for this. So no thanks to Unsolved Mysteries since I cut it off. This mystery is solved, actually. On October 25th. Okay, so first of all, if you were suspicious of Gabby, you were right to be suspicious. My real question is, Gabby murders someone, puts them in a trunk.
Why does he just leave that trunk with his friend? That is a mystery that I don't believe is solved. I'm not sure. Maybe he's just like a narcissist and didn't think, you know. He knew this guy was a really good friend and wouldn't try to turn him in, and he was right, but curiosity did get the better of him after six years. On October 25th, 2017, the skeleton was identified as Joseph J. Mulvaney, who was born in 1923. Joseph's granddaughter, Shelley, helped lead to the identification. Reportedly, after seeing a re-airing of the Unsolved Mysteries broadcast, DNA testing with his daughter confirmed his identity. Investigators learned from his daughter that he had been shot and killed by her uncle, John David Morris, who was identified in the show as Gabby in 1960. It is believed that Joseph's wife, who is Morris' sister, was also involved. After the murder, Morris...
bury Joseph in the footlocker in Iowa. At some point, Morris dug up the trunk and transported it to Wyoming, where he was working. He then left the trunk with Noel. He later moved to Mississippi, and in Mississippi, he died by suicide. Joseph's remains have been returned to his family, and a military memorial service for him was held on March 29, 2019. So he died by suicide before the skeleton was identified. We only got an identification in 2017.
He really got away with it. Despite being on Unsolved Mysteries talking about how he had a box with a skeleton on it. Yep. It's wild. It's wild. Noel Sessions unfortunately passed away in 2003, which was prior to the investigation, so he never got to see the resolution. Anybody that was friends with Noel, you had a good friendship. That guy seems like a really solid friend. That's true. Even if you straight up commit murder and he finds out about it, he's going to have your back. He stumbles upon the bones of your murder victim. He doesn't know what quote unquote Gabby did, but he assumed he had a good reason. He's not going to get the police involved.
Oh, man. That is a good story, though. It is a good story. I wish Unsolved Mysteries 10 had just cut it off. I wish I could have actually heard that story. Really want to know what they're hiding from us, honestly. So much.
Yeah. So it seems like, and I didn't do a ton of like Googling about this. There is an article in the Des Moines Register you can look up. It seems like the daughter had some suspicions, but maybe it was never proven or the body was never found. And so she, you know, whatever. And then when she saw this on Unsolved Mysteries, she was like, that fucker. Like, I knew it. I knew it all. Can you imagine? Oh my goodness. That's wild. She was like, I knew that so-called Gabby had something to do with it. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, that's the end of the episode, I guess. I don't know what else was in the episodes and they just cut it off.
but let's let's rate it i have such a good segment and then just cut it off like that unsolved mysteries what are you doing you did us dirty with that okay let's rate it what are we rating first mysteriousness okay um actually pretty mysterious though i i really think that army cover-up is involved in the first one don't come after me army um we don't really know why right no we don't know mysterious we don't know exactly what was going on i feel like they acted very suspiciously but we don't have a like concrete answer The mystery I talked about, not mysterious at all. But the skeleton in a box thing, that's like Nancy Drew level mysterious. That's like something out of a book that you would find a skeleton like that. I know. Also, this episode in general is kind of a mystery because why did it get cut off? Why isn't it on YouTube? Yeah. What are they having from us? I think thumbs way up. Reenactments? I think they were pretty good. I love the reenactment of them opening that footlocker. I love that the whole town came out. There's like a welding torch. And then when they find possibly the most shocking thing that could be in there other than like a nuclear weapon, they're just like, oh, cool.
So good. So good. Just for that, thumbs up. I think they did pretty good with the military reenactments too. I thought they were decent. Yeah. Yeah. Thumbs up. And fashion is our next category. Roxanne is really carrying the fashion category with her glorious 80s hair and she's got some cool earrings on. Other than that, I don't know that we're getting a lot of spectacular fashion. No, I agree with you on that. There are a lot of mustaches though, but they're just cop mustaches and several of them are unfortunate and shouldn't exist. I mean, and this is the thing about the mustache though. Like we've seen so many mustaches by this point that the bar is so high. So these ones, even though there were some pretty good mustaches, I feel like they're just, yeah.
I think the MVM is definitely the diabetes, but you've seen a mustache like that before because you've seen Wilford Brimley. So I'm going to say sideways for fashion. Yeah, I agree. Robert Stack? Robert Stack is two thumbs up for me. He is hilarious in this episode. I don't know. He was just in a good mood or he was just not buying Gabby's story or what. He literally is telling you Gabby is a murderer. I'm never going in a room alone with Gabby because I don't believe. Oh, maybe it was Wyoming. Like this is full on sarcastic stack. You've never heard him before. It's glorious. He deserves some sort of award for this segment. Yes, I totally agree. And so on a Robert Stack scale, how are we going to rate this one? Well, that's hard because as I said, it's not a great episode, but it does have a beautiful segment in it. But it also just gets cut off and I have to watch ads to even see it.
I don't know what that means. Two unnecessary updates. Two unnecessary updates and they're so long. I don't know. Two and a half? Three? Just watch the skeleton thing. Just skip everything else. Yeah, because that's five Robert Stacks just for that. And then everything else is pretty low. Yeah, I agree. I am kind of amused that Julius turned himself in and clearly could have gotten away with his crimes if he hadn't gotten so mad at his girlfriend. But then the actual victims are so sad. Yeah, I agree. Philadelphia police could have really done some work to bother investigating where those people went when they disappeared.
they couldn't have cared less yeah i don't know this is a mixed bag as there ever was it's true it's a garbage casserole i would love i wish i could hang out with robert stack when he has like i don't know one or two martinis in him and it's just like dishing on everyone you know what i mean i wish i could i wish i could meet sarcastic stack yeah he's uh you know he had like great dirt on people and for sure i feel like he probably looked down on pretty much everyone and i just want to hear it It seems so good. Goddamn. I know. It really does. Well, that's our episode. Do you have something to recommend? So, a recommendations update is that I listen to a couple more Q Code podcasts because I love Baraska so much. Baraska update also is that Baraska tweeted out this week, just, we know, we know. Was that a hint for a season two? I don't know. It does make me think we're getting something, though. Or we're getting, like, an afterword. We're getting, like, maybe, like, one more chapter or something. Or maybe another season. Delightful surprise.
It does seem like something else is coming. So that's great. So I listened to a couple more QCode podcasts. I listened to Carrier, which is about this woman who is driving a semi and she doesn't know what's in it. What's in it? Honestly, garbage. It was so bad. Like it's very well produced. The acting is great. The sound is great. The editing is great. All that stuff that they're clearly like super into because QCode stuff is just an ad for like Sonos audio equipment. So they do like really fancy audio stuff. But the story of that is so garbage. Save yourself the effort. Boo. The ending is just like hilariously bad. And then the other one I listened to was Blackout.
which is the produced and is the main voice of Rami Malek did it. So obviously he does a great job. He's awesome. Some of the other voice work in there. I was like, I don't know about this. It's okay. I don't know if you, if you're like, I'm at the end of my podcast and I need something else to listen to. Sure. Go ahead. It's fine. I thought the story was like, okay. It's like a little bit cheesy, but kind of interesting. It's about like what happens if there's like a widespread blackout. Okay.
Uh, like how it affects us like one little town, but that's my verdict on that. All right. Okay. Uh, so I didn't have like a good solid recommendation for this week. So I just decided I would recommend one of my favorite books. I mean, why not? Right. So I'm recommending Wittgenstein's mistress by David Marksum. So this is, um, it's a novel. It's about the woman who believes she is the last woman on earth. And so it's like her story, just her narration of being like the last person in existence. And it's very poetically written. It's very beautiful. Um, this is one of those rare books that I just like,
It's perfect. You know, like I wouldn't change anything about it. I think it's so great. Mac was like, are you really recommending that right now? Because it's a little bleak. Like, well, too bad. Yeah. If you want to feel lonely, here you go. Wiccan's Night's Mistress. I mean, it's just shockingly beautiful. I couldn't recommend it more. But yeah, maybe it's not the time to read about being the last person on Earth. I could see that. Put it on your list, though. Yeah, put this on your Goodreads to read. Get around to it eventually. You're going to enjoy it. I don't want to say too much about it. I give it an enthusiastic five out of five Robert Stacks.
Great. That's a good recommendation. I have a podcast recommendation, which I've just started listening to like yesterday, but I'm going to recommend it because I'm pretty convinced it's great. This is an Earwolf podcast called Scam Goddess. Oh yeah. Okay. I'm familiar with it. Lacey Mosley. And I'm recommending it because it's laugh out loud funny. I was cracking up listening to, I listened to a couple episodes.
The description of the podcast is Scam Goddess is a podcast dedicated to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week, host Lacey Mosley, aka the Scam Goddess, keeps listeners up to date on current rackets, digs deep into the latest scams, and breaks down historic hoodwinks alongside some of your favorite comedians. It's like true crime, but without all the death, which is what hooked me up. I could really use something that isn't so murdery. I thought, first of all, she is hilarious and her guests are hilarious. I listened to an episode you might be interested in, which is she did an episode with Trixie Mattel. Oh, I'm very interested. Well, he's on Instagram, but his scam was something else.
And what I enjoyed about it, besides the fact that it's just so damn funny, is that the scams they cover are ones I've never heard of. And I guess I haven't heard of a lot of scams, but some of our more scams are ongoing. Like the episode with Trixie that's ongoing right now. And just really, really interesting. No, I'm hooked already. I love it. I haven't heard one word, and I love it already. Our listeners will send in stories about how they've either done scams or been scammed, and those are really funny. Her guests have...
stories about being scammed. Trixie Mattel has a story about like trying to sneak into Australia. It's just really, really good. I've listened to like two and a half episodes, but I already know it's going to be one of my favorites. So I really recommend it. I really enjoyed it. And I've been on like a podcast slump. Like I've just been listening to like the same things. And then I saw a tweet from her, I think. And I was like, oh, what is this? This sounds really good. And I looked it up and I was like, okay, this is right up my alley. I'm going to listen to it. And I did it yesterday and don't regret it. I'm subscribing the minute we stop recording this podcast. I did want to end with a little update from my mom.
which I should have included in updates, but I wasn't thinking about it, which is that she really did enjoy one of those gargoyle romances that you were talking about the other day. When did we do the gargoyle romance podcast? So I think the one she read first was that Christine Warren, Heart of Stone book. She said it was quite good. She said well-developed characters and a good sense of humor. So be sure to check that out. I also, the skeleton in a box story reminds me of this.
Story of my mother. So, you know, I was like, oh, wait, we do sort of have a story like this about a skeleton in a box. Okay, I have to hear that. Let's go back to the early 90s. My family is living in Japan and we have no shame. So we occasionally will find things, you know, like left by the garbage and go, oh, I'm going to take this home. This is fucking nice. So one day we're walking home and my mom finds this large tea chest, which is like something that would have been used to ship chi, but it's like wooden, you know, and she's like, oh, this would be like, I'm going to cover this in fabric. This is going to be like a great like ottoman.
I think my parents still have this to this day. So we drag this big wooden crate home. And when she opens it, is there a skeleton inside? Well, there's like a sphere wrapped in a ton of newspaper that has a red liquid seeping into it. And she starts to unwrap it. And there's a rope tied around something. It seriously, seriously looked like a head. It was actually a jug.
I don't know a good 30 seconds where my mom is like oh I just brought back a box with a head in it And also, I'm pretty sure my parents still have that jug. The jug? Is it an ice jug? Yeah. Okay, I was actually like a milk jug. It was like a ceramic jug that I think the glaze was for some reason like seeping. I don't know why. So that's what the red like liquid was. Or maybe it was something that was in the jug. And someone was like, I'm not dealing with this. And then, yeah. And then me and my mom were like, oh, treasure. Let's bring this home. And that's the time my mom thought she found a human head. Well, I'm glad she didn't find a human head. I mean, same. Think of how hard that would have been to explain to authorities not in your native language.
We just wanted to upholster this. It looked like it would make a good coffee table. Well, you're like, look, we're Americans. We have no shame. Sometimes things are in the trash and we take them. I know that's hard to understand. In this case, it was a big wooden box. Yeah, that's the time my mom almost went to Japanese prison.
Well, I'm sure that was a very scary minute or whatever in there of her life. It sounds like it. She's had some really wild stories. She once was at a French market and I don't, somehow like all these police came. Oh, there was like a package that was left there. They thought she had a bomb basically. She got like surrounded by like, I don't know, French authorities that all pulled guns on her. And I think there was a crab stuck to the back of her shirt at the time. The woman has lived quite a while.
yeah she was at a seafood market at the seafood stall a crab has like maybe i'm combining two stories but a crab like bites onto the with a pincher has pinched onto the back of her shirt so someone in french is trying to say there's a crab on you she doesn't understand what they're saying and then there's like a package that gets left and someone thinks it's a bomb so the authorities come and they all pull guns on her and she has like no idea what's happening because she doesn't speak french someone trying to say there's a crab on you like How did she not know? Maybe it was a light crab. I'm not sure how she wasn't aware that a crab had pinched onto her. And those might be two different stories that I've just combined in my mind to be the greatest story of all time. It's perfect. I believe that it happens. Sometimes, yeah. Wow. She's, yeah. It's quite the life that woman has lived. I told you about the time she woke up on a pile of scorpions, right? No. No. So her dad liked to go on really long road trips and like camp in national parks and stuff. But the problem was he would never put gas in the car. So they were always running out of gas in like the middle of the desert or whatever. And then they would get to places really late.
So they pull up. I don't even remember where this was. We really should have her on to tell you stories because I can't remember the important details. But they pull up to this campsite really late. It's already dark. They set up the tents. They go to bed. They are woken up in the middle of the night by a screaming park ranger who is still in their vehicle going basically, what the hell are you doing? And it turns out that that campsite was closed due to a scorpion infestation. But because they got there at night, they didn't see the sign. So they had put their tent right on top of a scorpion.
nest? I don't know what scorpions have. So they wake up in the middle of the night and the ground is just covered in clear, clear scorpions that are just, I don't know, writhing around what scorpions do. So they have to pack up all their stuff in the middle of the night while trying not to get stung by scorpions. That's terrifying. Yeah, she'll do that somehow. Wow. Wow. That's wild. Anyway, hi, mom. She needs to write a memoir, right? Yes, definitely. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know what the angle of it could be, but...
There's the material for sure. I totally agree. Okay. So my new recommendation is to my mom. It's very specific. It's mom, get working on your memoirs. We all want to read them. They can come out from perhaps it's you press.
okay that's the end of the show thank you so much for listening you should now follow us on social media twitter instagram facebook we have a facebook group and then we have another group just if you're playing animal crossing because that's how cool we are a lot of fun we're at perhaps it's you yes and we have a website perhaps it's you.com you can listen to episodes there if you like i don't know hate podcast apps uh there's a submission form to contact us there's our contact info there's recommendations there's great pictures of us yeah i mean it's a really it's a really solid website it has an egregious air but other than that so good that's good patreon for a dollar you get Quite a large back catalog at this point. I mean, you really get your money's worth. And for $5, you get a coloring sheet every month. And for $10, you get a gift every quarter. I mean, our Patreon is... It's the best deal in town. Yeah, for real. And is there anything else we need to say? Oh, we want those five-star reviews. Thank you to people who have been leaving reviews on Podcast Addict. That's a podcast app you can use for Android phones. So I have a... I don't have an iPhone, so I can't leave iTunes reviews either. But if you use that app, you can leave us reviews that way. So thank you to people who have done that because it makes us look good. The more five-star reviews we have, the better. And we only accept five-star reviews. Yeah, we'll take your criticism, but it has to be a five-star review.
yeah absolutely um yeah okay thanks everyone thanks for listening oh we do want spooky stories paranormal things that have happened to you psychic dreams we're coming close to the end of the season so we really have like no stories so perhaps it's you podcast at gmail.com if you got scammed look we'll take it we'll get a jump on the scam goddess tell us about the scam why not all right thanks everybody uh stay home stay safe keep barking goodbye