S7E29 - The Dark Side of Leadership, Part 2: Compulsive & Passive-Aggressive Leaders. With Ken Fish & Richard J. Roberts

Register for Luminosity: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Register⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sign Up for Prayer⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Orbis Prayer Ministry Network – Receive prayer for healing, prophecy, inner healing and deliverance⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Donate: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Give - Orbis Ministries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠In this episode of God Is Not a Theory, Ken Fish welcomes back Dr. Richard J. Roberts—medical doctor, former psychotherapist, and theologian with over 40 years in church leadership—to finish the conversation begun last week on the dark side of Christian leadership.Having already covered narcissism, codependency, and paranoia, they turn to two more patterns that quietly derail leaders and wound those around them: the compulsive leader and the passive-aggressive leader. Dr. Richard J. Roberts explains why churches so often unintentionally advertise for—and reward—these very traits, why a gifted second-in-command can unravel once handed the top seat, and how anger that never gets named leaks out sideways and poisons a team.From there the conversation widens. Ken and Dr. Richard J. Roberts walk through the Johari Window as a tool for self-awareness, weigh behavior-change against motive-hunting, and take on the deeper questions: Can these patterns actually be healed? What does real accountability look like? And how do two powerful archetypes—the "Great Mother" who must meet every need, and the "Wise Old Man" who offers secret, deeper-life knowledge—shape (and distort) charismatic church culture. They close with wise, practical counsel for anyone who finds themselves under an unhealthy leader.Together, they discuss:The compulsive leader: perfectionism, control, workaholism, and criticism of othersWhy churches so often advertise for a "compulsive leader"Provision, pay, and the abuse of underpaying ministry workersThe passive-aggressive leader: unowned anger, delay, barbed "humor," and the silent treatmentThe Johari Window—and using "I" statements to open up blind spotsBehavior first, motive later: why changing the "how" often precedes the "why"Whether these patterns are fixable, and why change usually comes through process and discomfortPsychology vs. a theological lens—and recovering the care of soulsTwo archetypes shaping the church: the "Great Mother" and the "Wise Old Man"Discernment, angelic claims, and testing everything against the received gospelWhat to do if you find yourself under an unhealthy leaderHonest, gracious, and deeply practical, this is a hope-filled conversation about the woundedness beneath the dysfunction—and the community, humility, and grace that make real change possible.🔑 Key TakeawaysChurches often reward the very traits that harm themUnderpaying and overworking ministry staff is not godliness—it's abusePassive-aggression is unowned anger that leaks out sidewaysSelf-awareness grows through honest, loving feedback in real communityChanging behavior often comes before understanding the "why"Change requires motivation—usually prompted by discomfort or desireThe "Great Mother" and "Wise Old Man" archetypes distort church cultureTest every teaching—even claimed angelic revelation—against the received gospelIn a narcissistic system, the wisest first step is often to get out📘 Check out Dr. Richard J. Roberts' book, “Rediscovering Church as Networks”: https://a.co/d/0hD3wTJWHow to Engage with Orbis:READ: Check out Ken's book: On the Road with the Holy SpiritLEARN: Enroll in Orbis School of Ministry or email our Registrar, Jo McKay, at [email protected]: Apply to serve on an upcoming overseas ministry trip CONNECT: Do you want to join Ken's private Facebook discussion group, "God is not a Theory?" Please send a Facebook Direct Message to Bryan Orbis and a friend request to be added to it.PARTNER: Partner with Orbis Financially: GIVE#GodIsNotATheory #KenFish #RichardJRoberts