S9E20 (EP 200): Can You Have a Good Divorce? What Every Parent Needs to Know to Protect Their Kids

We've all seen the ugly version. The screaming. The lawyers. The kids stuck in the middle, learning to pack a bag every week and tiptoe between two worlds that can't stand each other. But what if I told you it doesn't have to look like that?In this episode, I sit down with Sarah Armstrong — author of The Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce: What to Think Through When Children Are Involved and The Art of the Juggling Act: Bite-Size Guides for Working Parents — for an honest, hopeful conversation about something most people don't believe is even possible: a good divorce.And here's the thing. Sarah and I both lived it. We're two parents who went through divorce, kept our kids out of the crossfire, and came out the other side with families that are still families. I've been divorced for over 30 years, remarried for 30, and we still hug at the holidays. So this isn't theory. This is two moms telling you it can be done.Sarah will be the first to say she's not an advocate for divorce. No one gets married planning to get divorced. But when a couple does land there — and half of them do — our children are the ones whose lives get turned upside down by a decision they never got to make. And we owe it to them not to let them become collateral damage.What You'll Hear in This EpisodeWhy "a good divorce" isn't a fantasy — and the moment Sarah's seven-year-old daughter, Grace, defined it better than any expert ever couldThe "compartmentalization muscle" — how to feel your big emotions fully without letting your kids carry the weight of themWhy slamming your ex in front of your child is the same as slamming your child (because they're half that other person)The parent-teacher conference moment that revealed just how rare healthy co-parenting really isWhat it means to stand on the same side of the soccer field — and why that small choice tells your child everythingThe one question I ask every couple before they go down this path, and why it once brought a parent to tearsSarah's final reflection: how to embrace your new normal, look ahead, and stop dwelling in the negativesThis conversation is full of heart, honesty, and a good dose of humor, because even in a divorce, you should still be allowed to laugh.About Sarah ArmstrongSarah spent her career in the corporate global marketing world and never planned to become an author. Then her own divorce — and the friends who kept asking how she did it so well — turned into a book that now travels in the purses of women going through the hardest season of their lives, keeping them calm. Her work is built around one belief: a good divorce is a possible outcome if you stay focused on it and put in the effort.Resources for YouThe Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce and The Art of the Juggling Act by Sarah Armstrong — find everything at gooddivorce.guideRaising Happy Toddlers by Celia Kibler — available at beabetterparent.comBe A Better Parent App — download at beabetterparent.com for on-demand, real-time parenting support right when you need it mostIf you're walking through divorce right now, please hear me: it's scary, and it takes real courage. Ask for the help. You deserve it, and you're worthy of it.And if this episode gave you hope — or you know someone who needs it — share it, leave a review, and pass it along. There are so many parents out there feeling lost in this, and your share might be the thing that helps them give themselves some grace.As always, I wish you days filled with peace, love, and lots of laughter. Laughter really is the best medicine.