Safe isn't the same as strong: Why kids need healthy risk

In this episode of Facing the Dark, Wayne Stender and Dr. Kathy Koch unpack a surprising trend from a recent CDC report: many traditional adolescent risk behaviors are declining, but anxiety and fear are rising. While this may sound like good news on the surface, the conversation asks a deeper question: What happens when kids don't take the kinds of risks that help them grow? Dr. Kathy clarifies that this isn't about encouraging dangerous behavior, but about restoring appropriate, guided risk, the kind that builds confidence, competence, humility, and resilience. From trying out for a team to walking to the library alone, kids need chances to stretch, stumble, succeed, and recover. When parents remove every risk in the name of safety, children may internalize fear rather than strength. The episode also speaks directly to parents' hearts. Letting kids struggle is hard. Watching disappointment hurts. But our response in those moments, whether we frame the experience as growth or regret, shapes how children understand themselves. When kids know they are supported and not defined by outcomes, they grow into adults who believe they can handle life. Grounded in Jesus' parable of the talents in Matthew 25, this conversation reframes risk taking as stewardship rather than recklessness. Avoiding all risk doesn't preserve potential; it buries it. Parents are encouraged to know their individual child well and offer a longer leash when the stakes are manageable. In doing so, they help their kids develop the courage and resilience they'll need for the darker, harder moments that inevitably come later in life.