SAMUEL: "The Messiah" and the golden hemorrhoid rats

We're entering a whole new chunk of the Bible, and it might be a surprise chunk! Why we're now in Samuel instead of Ruth, the book that's up next according to Christian Bibles!  Yet another barren womb! As always, when the Bible reuses a story, the variations are everything!  The Bible's first usage of "the messiah" is a fine time to talk about how poorly the average Christian understands the old, complex, ever-evolving concept!  Meet the original Typical Preacher's Kids!  A war catastrophe leads to the Philistines capturing the Ark of the Covenant, which goes very terribly for the Philistines' genitals!  If you like this show, please give us a review on your podcast app, follow us on Twitter and/or Instagram, and consider giving us $1/month via Patreon (or $5.77 for bonus episodes, Discord membership, a sticker, and stuff).