Santa Bacon (parody of 'Santa Baby') by Phoole feat. Skeewiff

Back at the dawn of Phoole & the Gang in 2013, my wife Tiffany and I were in a grocery store that happened to have one of those toy-crane novelty machines - we call them 'claw machines' or 'grabby machines.' Players put in a coin or two, or a dollar most likely these days, and maneuver a crane 'claw' into position; when the machine's brief timer elapses after a few seconds, the claw drops down and either grabs a prize, or doesn't, and then retracts. If it grabs a prize, it drops the prize down a chute for the player to keep. Tiffany happens to be a stone-cold grabby-machine hustler - she wins every time she plays. And on this particular occasion, we discovered this particular grabby machine had in it a very weird prize we'd never seen before: SANTA BACON. It was a stuffed-toy piece of bacon, with arms and legs and eyes and a moustache, and a Santa Claus hat. It made no sense at all. I wanted it. Tiff played and won it immediately, on the first try. As I gloatingly paraded it about the grocery store, Tiff said, "You now have to do a parody of 'Santa Baby,' but rewrite the lyrics so they're all about Santa Bacon instead." We re-wrote the lyrics together, Skeewiff kindly and indulgently supplied an incredible, perfect instrumental - and a crispy, delicious legend was born!