Hello and welcome to the gifted life podcast where we have conversations about organ tissue and I don't nation You can always find us at the get to life dot org. I'm where steel. I'm Joey Boudreau I'm Sarah Blakemore coming up on the program today boy. We're excited guess who's coming to town Santa Claus, he's gonna tell us a little bit about the best gift he's ever received I like that and we're gonna talk about maintaining boundaries all that more right here the gifted life guys the gifted life Dot org already yep, Santa's coming here.
We go Here on the get to like podcast we are pleased to introduce you to our guest by day Bob Boyer. Hey, Bob. Oh hello there by night the Huntsville Santa. Hey, Santa.
Oh hello I love this we love this story. So we certainly appreciate you taking time to join us Santa Bob works with our partners over at Legacy of Hope in Alabama And I guess since Christmas is right around the corner We wanted to ask about if Joey was on the naughty or the nice list. Do you have any scoop a lot of times when I talk to Groups of people if it's you know a more grown up group of people I usually start with something like you don't often see the naughty list All the one place like terrible thing to do on a discussion about donate life is I know y'all around that on the good I'm a good one. You made a Joe first year.
Hi, Bob. All right, so Santa Bob Let's talk about just you get up in the morning and your goal is to do what especially around this time of the year Well, my goal most days when I get up I walk into my bathroom and there's a sign that says just be closed right over my thing I take a lot of inspiration for that because literally even if I'm not wearing a red suit and some white fur and that sort of thing I have a really long white beard and anywhere I go this time of year somebody is gonna look and you just see a smile You see a Google you're in Walmart checking out and you see someone kind of looking back and then parents are great You know they kind of look and say he's watching and it's a great thing But truly it's a persona and it's something that you just don't put on when you put on the code It's there all the time and that's that's what I do and I wake up I try to think of who am I gonna meet today? It might be the only time all year that they meet Santa Claus It might be the only time in their life that they meet Santa Claus, and I've got to be good I've got to be really ready to go and that sort of thing and that's that's what I'm all about ever since my heart transplant I'm all about bringing a little happiness to to somebody else and just keeping that Christmas by going all year long If I can I love it and I said our listeners are probably like why are they talking to Santa right now because Santa usually gives gifts right Joe Yeah, but this Santa a little bit different. It is he received a gift a great gift Ah the greatest gift so eight years ago you were blessed with a new beginning a second chance right so Well, it's very much so yeah, so take us back down that that journey So it started in late August of 2011 I woke up very early one morning and I was having all the classic symptoms of the heart attack the stabbing pains and chest sweating the numbness in the arms a little bit in a little bit of nausea and I literally told my wife I said I'm pretty sure I'm not a heart attack all the ambulance and they got there very fast Put me down to the hospital and got me into the ER really quick did the whole stint operation And I thought everything was great You know they found it early was a little maker heart attack and a lot of times I like to think the doctors tend to make things more serious than they are but now this was I was literally probably moments from death Without the stand operation and the speed and ability of everybody involved they got me back on my feet really quick And I thought wow I have completely dodged a bullet and then about six months later in January I just started noticing a lot more symptoms and eventually I started having some blood clot issues and coughing up What they put me in to put me on blood thinners and when they finally did a more thorough exam They said well mr.
Boyer your your heart is really damaged from that heart attack The left side is only pumping out about 10% of the blood that you need and they said we really think that you need a heart transplant And these are words that you're not wanting to hear when you're 46 years old I gotta tell you it's pretty severe But they rush me down to UAB hospital in Birmingham, Alabama and did some evaluation tests We went through everything in about two weeks and when the best part about this story that I'm always grateful for when I finally Was ready to be put on the list. I was waiting for some paperwork from insurance That sort of thing and I asked the doctors I said well, you know how long with my blood type and all that was average for waiting And they said well usually six weeks to six months is is what is average for somebody for you And they had kind of leveled all my meds out to where you know I had time to wait for a transplant I got I got home and called finally and said okay I'm good with the insurance officially put me on the list and they said well make sure your phone can pick up unknown numbers They don't give you a little beeper of page or anymore They just make sure you've got this number can come to your phone and that evening about nine o'clock I called it five nine o'clock. I got a call they said we got our I think it is it is still some sort of record It was it's crazy But being on the waiting list it was I think about a 70 to 80% tissue match which is fairly unheard of also and Knock on wood. I'm blessed that in all the time.
I've never had an incidence of rejection in its seven years on So it's truly a miracle story I like to think that you know that's a good guy above has plans And that's why I look at doing my Santa thing very seriously because you know It just doesn't all work out that way without a reason I think one of the reasons is for me to put a smile on somebody's face around person's time So so you know being in the industry for I don't know 18 or so 19 years. I have never heard of four hours I've almost never heard of the same day. It's so remarkable that that you were able to match everything matched up Everything worked out exactly in your favor for you to be able to receive that that gift of life I'd like to go back to that that day just for a moment if you will so so when you find this out and of course you were thinking You know six months or you know hopefully six months because obviously if you were that sick if you're for you to receive it And it'd be on that call four hours That means you must have been that sick to where you were at the top of the list because obviously as I've said before in other podcasts You know the sickest person with the best match is the one that receives So so you you're going from being that sick feeling that bad Can you take us to your first moments that you can remember after the surgery? Yeah, it will never leave me I remember waking up and The only thing I don't know why this is but I remember feeling my pulse in the back of my neck Very strongly and you know to that point I had been six months post-part attack and a lot of blood thinners and you know things to kind of make life easier on your heart Obviously well now my donor was 20 years younger than me So I had a 26 year old heart in me and it was going you know Just to be banned and all I remember when my eyes opened and I could feel the two that my throat You know everything and all I could feel was this pulse in the back of my neck and it felt like Niagara Falls It was just this amazing rush and you know once I finally came to it just wouldn't go away It was just this amazing lifeblood you know as it were but I don't know why I was in the back of my neck You know you take your pulse on your usually you know on your neck on your artery there on your arms or something But I will never forget that I've told people it was just like somebody turned on a fire host with my heart It was an amazing difference.
So you mentioned that a 26 year old was your donor Did you ever get to meet his or her family? I did it was a very interesting story You know it's very because of hip-a-laws It's very restrictive as to meeting donors and how you can communicate with them But I somehow or another I was told that the donor was about 70 or 80 miles away from me And where I live every day and because I do so much things so many things plus being Santa I thought at some point I might actually run into his family So as cleverly as I could when I would write letters to the family I would say you know I'm very blessed to have your gift and thank you for your donation And I hope it does a lot of good I'm a local professional Santa and I'm very happy to still be able to put smiles on lots of children's faces And I said about I think three or four letters to my donor family and one day at my other job I got this call from the switchboard and this wonderful lady came on the phone and she said hi my name is Sherry And I don't know how to say this but I'm your heart donor And she meant to say she was his mom obviously but it blew me away I didn't know what to say for a little bit and we struck up a conversation and talked for a little bit And about six months later we were able to meet up in person and my daughters and her husband and her daughter And we were all able to kind of get together and we've had a wonderful relationship since they They said you know we didn't we didn't obviously have a choice of who we chose to get our son's heart But we're so glad that you got it We can't imagine it going to somebody that would do so much with it and that means a lot to me Wow, I mean we're just in here at our dolls on the floor we just love the storytelling on these podcasts So what have you been able to do? You know you pay it for we know you you help but some of your milestones like thanks to the second chance I have been able to do these things. What would you say?
The first one is I got to attend my daughter's wedding which was just a few months after I think it was six Seven months afterwards that was really neat. I got to be a Santa. We did a Christmas in July I think and I got to watch one of my daughters get married I got to watch both of them graduate from high school obviously and and grow into young ladies I've got to see the same daughter that got married graduate from Auburn University And she's now in the middle of a wonderful industrial construction career over in Atlanta, Georgia I think some of my best Santa milestones probably been just charitable things You know where children that might not have a chance to see Santa I'm able to do that for them And I think those stick out my mind. Did you know about donation before your heart attack before this journey?
You know I did and I've always been an organ donor. I don't have the phobia that I guess some folks might have with it But I didn't you know give it as much thought as probably anyone would until you become so impacted by it But I remember one of the first things that I told one of the folks from legacy of hope when they came in and I said look In my job, I do several things most of which is I produce television commercials and public service announcements And I have a million a lot television transmitter until at my disposal to put the word out there So I've got to become the de facto spokesperson for here in my town to go out We talked to the mayor and declared organ donor day and in April and things like that We have done a lot of public service announcements talking about, you know How you need to be an organ donor and all that sort of thing That's my biggest give back is the ability to be able to do that And then of course as Santa I get invited to a lot of things to speak or to talk and I always tell people You know Santa got a brand new heart that what have you done? You know the gift you can give at Christmas that lasts forever is your legacy You know to pass that on to somebody else so and it means a lot coming from a guy with a big white beard and a red hat They make doubt he wouldn't be here if it weren't for somebody doing that And I'm hopeful that we've had converted a lot of people you know through that So that's that's kind of I guess my my Santa ministry with the with the heart donation Did you also do a book? I've got a couple of books all right I think this I think this happens to a lot of people I know when they told me after the heart transplant they said okay when you get back to work It's kind of like being a little mini celebrity you know a lot of people who have you ever met you know as a heart transplant And the problem that it's not a problem that the thing that I have is I'm also Santa So it's a double thing people love to hear about how do you become Santa what do you do?
And then people want to know well how do you have a heart transplant? And one of the things that that fascinated me afterwards when I was in post recovery mode is I met a lot of people that seemed happy with It should be at lungs or liver or kidney or heart or whatever and a lot of them literally told me well I'm just not happy I wish I'd never done this and I think how is that possible? You know someone in a lot of cases is not here anymore so that you are still alive How can you feel that? I've had a lot of people that are terrified by the concept of being an organ donor That sort of thing and so I said you know what I want to write a book about why you should be an organ donor and how simple a process It can be in a lot of cases and really take a lot of the medical jargon out of it and the stuff that terrifies people of my mother Was a nurse my sister's a nurse and I speak doctor a little bit So I wanted to kind of put it in layman's terms of what's involved and how you know it's become a lot more common now Unfortunately, there's not enough hearts and glivers and kidneys to go along the you know the list the waiting list is terrible But the surgery has become so much simpler and so much easier and it's a more common thing And I tried to take that out, but it was called a heart big enough for santa is the book title And it's kind of mixed it's the story of my transplant and and all that but then there's also each chapter ends with a Nice little Santa story because people have to hear about the unusual things that happen on santa It's talk to people and eat people and that sort of thing It was a big hit so we did a second one that is more just Santa stories called whispers and whiskers Yeah, how do you know that?
Tells us about that Really using a button it's just look it up on Amazon if you type in bob boy or heart transplant it'll come right up And you can order them a lot of people love them as christmas gifts now. I don't know if they can get there in four days But yes, you can definitely definitely order them You know as a great holiday gift and again the whole reason I wanted to write it was to tell people that we're maybe afraid to go to the doctor Or afraid to take that next step of gee, maybe I want to have a heart transplant But i'm intimidated by it and tell them, you know, it can work it can save your life and it can give you an incredible new outlook on life So santa bob have you ever had anyone ask you for an organ for christmas? I have not I think the closest that i've come to that a lot of little ones come up and say santa my dad's and heaven Can you can you visit him and tell him I said hello and i'd like to come back? That's an incredibly hard question to answer Of you know, but I think that's probably as close but no i've not not running to anybody that says i'm on the waiting list The day I do believe me it'll get in the third book I guess that's uh that gets written Definitely, but no, I have a little easier question How's that ticker holding up on that big trip across around the world?
You know i'm gonna answer this in a funny way because I think it's very poignant Um in in my story one of the first things before the transplant that they do they evaluate you and they said so what's this santa business? I said yes, I'm a professional santa and I said well, how many children do you generally see? I said well, it depends on the event, but you know, I say an average is probably 5000 per season and they said oh my gosh You can't do that anymore. What do you mean?
And I said well, you're you're you know, suppressed You know, you're not gonna have an immune system and you're you know, it's very delicate for many months afterwards And we just don't recommend you have thousands of little children that might have colds or flu climbing in your lap And I remember I thought for just a moment I said well We can stop if you want because I said if I can't be Santa There's no reason to have the heart. I say it's a really big deal to me and the coordinator just kind of looked at me and said well It's you know, it's your choice, but it's our recommendation that you don't do this You know in this scale in the first six months after the transplant I did take it a little simple little easier But no the ticker has gone great. So there's never really been any rejection There's never really been any issues with getting sick around Christmas. Um, I guess part of what led to this in the beginning I don't really go to the doctor a lot I don't know that I've ever been in a hospital prior to my heart attack because I mean, you know, usually very good health I don't don't think I don't drink any of that.
Yeah, you know, I'm cooking I like cooking other places But yeah, it's it was a big deal to me. I said if I can't keep being Santa let someone else out the heart and we were able to Come to a nice cover. I'm glad to say it's worked out well So what kind of cookie did you start taking those? Do you like all my favorite cookie?
I think if you're gonna leave out cookies now, I have very special and specific requests There's two types. I'll let my chocolate chip But I also like when you're gonna homemade cookies Maybe like you know roll out to the sugar cookie dough and then put icing and sprinkles and there's special instructions If you're making these in search You have to take it the end of the batch when you've got almost enough go left to do it You roll out a cookie about the size of a dinner plate But if you've got whatever chocolate chips you have left they all go in that cookie Chocolate and cookie so something really big with a lot of chocolate chips And then if you're doing like sprinkles and decorations same kind of advice whatever's left pour them all on that last cookie That's the one I like because it takes a lot of sugar and a lot of energy to make it to everybody's own that Christmas Eve Right. I mean, Santa and I are so much alike in that So I have a pre-teen at home who doesn't recognize my coolness and I'm just wondering if your kids at home recognize your coolness Santa Bob It's uh, it's been a wonderful thing all along the way my daughters were 16 and 13 pretty much when I started first becoming Santa and they wanted to come along and be elves in parades and things my my older daughter who's a little tall the first day We ever did that and somebody said you're really tall for an else She said well, I'm the star of the basketball team And you know, I just love that she just had that right off the tip of her tongue like that But now they they love having having Santa as a father They love to um, borrow Santa for their friends and relatives that maybe have little ones and I do a lot of custom videos You know a little quick videos of hi Billy. It's Santa.
You're all gonna have to call you and tell you that your room is not clean enough for So we get a lot of that. It's it's a big joy. I love doing that. Oh my goodness.
I love this Santa Bob any um Anything that we need to talk about before the actual big night ahead anything to remember keep in keep in mind Just the cookies. We got that milk Well, there's a few things that uh, anybody usually under about eight years old knows this very well that uh that you need that reindeer food It's very special mix that the reindeer really like and people always wonder what do you do with that? Well, the idea is to sprinkle it right outside by the driveway So we can get the Rudolph's nose not only lights up it homes in on that stuff and that way we know right where to land We know just how to get to your house But the other thing is a lot of people don't realize that reindeer really like carrots Uh, but they also need a break from carrots and so does Santa because let me tell you after 1,400,000 23 carrots It gets a little rough up there So I always ask every now and then somebody to leave out of an animal Love bananas kind of breaks up the monotony because by the end of the night they almost turn orange from all this Is really good and I've had a lot of people ask I've had people uh sit in my lap and say Santa I'm so mad at my father and I'll say you're mad at your father. You can't be mad at your father like before christmas Well, he just bought a new house Santa and it doesn't have a chimney Oh now I get it.
You think I'm gonna miss your house because you're on an exhibit and dad'll just be standing over there Shaking the set but when I tell them Santa carries at all times with him a very special and a very magic key And that magic key is only good on christmas. See that's got a beautiful little star hole right in the in the middle of it And I look right through that when I get to your house and it can tell me if you're on the nice list And it will open your front door so I can just come in the normal way But it only works on christmas. Yeah, a lot of people be very concerned that I get their house anytime I have to explain to them. It's only a christmas.
See that but uh, yeah, if you're you know, if you're you know, if you want to be on the nice list You've just got to remember that's uh, you got to do well in school You've got to really pay attention to mom and dad your brothers and sisters and you know try to be good to everybody around christmas Maybe you know drop a little money in that red kettle that you see in front of the store You know just do good things and I promise we'll bring some great stuff on christmas eve Oh, I love it. We had one We want to you to think about one thing before you come for christmas. We're asking it's collective We want people to think and talk about donation so if you could spread that little magic as you travel That's our way Yep, I always I always remind people that if they're not an organ donor, why not and uh, you know, they definitely should be because uh, it really does It's the gift. It's the legacy that means more than anything with a big bow and silver paper on it really does All right, sana, how can we find you?
Well, it's really easy if you'd like to follow some of the uh santa happenings just look up bob Boyer on facebook. It's probably the only bob boyer on there that looks just like sana collars in the prophalt Fishers so you'll know that you've uh you've got the right one Santa bob, thank you. We wish you nothing but the best and we'll see ya after christmas and safe travels All right, good to talk with y'all. Hey, by the way, put those fires out this year Oh, good.
It's really hot in my company And you got to make sure you do that and i'll see y'all on christmas eve get to bed early this year Joe last year you were up late You I knew it was a lot of money Thank you so much sana bob Here on the gifted life we like to take a moment for mental health. Yes, sir. What's on tap today from ill health? All right guys, so today we're going to talk about maintaining boundaries now specifically with other people and Especially you know the holidays are coming up.
So you're gonna have a lot of conversations with people and they're probably gonna ask you questions They don't feel comfortable answering. So I mean we've all done that. We've all done that. We got here today.
That's right So um, we're really you know, it's just such a more open society and more people are willing to share We've got social media now. So a lot of people feel very comfortable and to advocate for themselves, but How do you maintain those boundaries? Right? So how do you find out what your boundaries are and what you're comfortable discussing and what you aren't and really what that means is just like Doing a little bit of self exploration So finding out what you're comfortable talking about and having those conversations with the people around you and who are closest with you first Leading especially leading up to these holidays, you know, that's a struggle for me because my boundaries are why Right, you know, especially growing up and learning like in nursing and you know, everything medical You have you feel a different level of comfort talking about anything, you know that and especially a lot of things that others aren't necessarily comfortable Talking about right so I find myself constantly trying to gauge You know, if we if we start in a conversation in a direction and then and then you know trying to gauge Right if it's getting more personal, like yeah, like they're they're level of comfort You know, so that's a challenge for me because pretty much any topic is fair game for me Yeah, well, you know, it sounds that's one thing is when you know your boundaries too You can reflect that those aren't gonna be the boundaries for someone else.
So knowing that it's okay to ask Can I ask you about this first or you don't have to answer but those little prompting things make it okay for someone else not to answer I'm from cajun country. So you know, everybody talks about your thing and we have huge family And so sometimes I just asked and I said I gotta work on my facial expressions because I'm like, why did you just ask? Right, I'm gonna ask you right back. No, I don't Yeah, and you know if someone asks you a question everywhere You're not comfortable answering instead of saying that doesn't make me feel comfortable Just say I prefer not to talk about that and what that does is it takes away the shame of the question and it makes it a little bit easier To not have to answer yeah, I can tell you from the other side I've gotten that before and it's an easy transition out to something else, you know as the Provoker almost you know in these conversations, you know somebody goes in that direction I'm like, okay, no, I didn't mean to yeah, if anything like it's an easy transition to Right, just ask beforehand or you don't have to answer this or is it okay if I ask and that just really makes it a more comfortable conversation for both people Which leads to a better connection and better trust and rapport.
I like that Yeah, just the other day someone said can we talk about the elephant in the room and I said only we can talk about yours And then we'll go back and forth and then we don't have to talk about it. Yeah Hard time saying I don't want to talk about that like that makes me kind of anxious because I don't hurt my feelings, right And I like those boundaries like we're just gonna well send them up know that your feelings are valid too So if you don't have to worry so much about hurting other people's feelings as long as you were comfortable and you're not hurt too You have to you have to take care of yourself first really is what it is So don't feel like you're gonna hurt anybody's feelings and you know if it's on social media I know a lot of moms like to post a lot on social media It's good to ask people first if you're gonna post something that pertains to them It's good to ask first is this okay? And that's a healthy boundary to maintain and it's easy just ask people what they're comfortable with and you're doing a non-judgmental non-shameful way That's really all this is about yes, I could tell you again. So my boundaries are wide But you know but sometimes but I don't post anything on social media.
So everything that gets posted about me is posted from others It's uncomfortable for some people Wife Yeah, it's not just family and it's not just social media. It's about work too What's appropriate to discuss at worst and what you know just make sure or maintain those boundaries and know what you're comfortable with first And show respect when you're having conversations be a good human. Yeah, I like it All right, maybe you have a topic you want miss there to cover info at the giftedlife.org. We'd love to hear from you In every episode of the gifted life we honor a hero today's hero comes to us from the legacy of hope in Alabama Her name is Savannah sides.
We learn about Savannah from her parents Sandy and Stephen sides One day they were registering to be organ donors when their five-year-old daughter Savannah asked what they were doing The sides explained the best they could what organ donation was and Savannah swiftly said to register her as well Sandy told Savannah not to worry about that she was mom's girl and had lots of time Savannah insisted on becoming an organ donor that day because as she put it she wouldn't need them when she got to heaven Little did anyone know that just 30 days later following a tragic accident that time would come Savannah gave multiple blessings to so many through the gift of organ donation and now we pause and say thank you to Savannah for the gift of life And our question and answer segment today. Do you have to be registered to become a donor? That's a good question Is there a use it with a lot of our families? Yes, that's a really great question So um you do not have to be registered to be an organ donor Registering to be an organ donor is your decision if you're not registered the decision to be an organ donor goes to the legal next of kin Whoever that is the hospital and whoever whichever OPO you're involved with will know who the next of kin is Really it's going to be a family decision.
So it's still an amazing and important decision to make and As always we're going to reinforce that these conversations should be had with your family at home or whenever you're comfortable so that Everyone knows your wishes and what you want to do So you do not have to be registered, but we still encourage you to have these end-of-life discussions as a family Great question and if you have a question we want to hear from you Email your questions to info at the gift of life.org. You can also give us a call 504-648-3477. We may even play your message on the podcast And that is how we round out 2019 episode 124 of the gift of life. Wow, right?
Yeah, the last one. That's a celebrity on today. Yeah, Santa Bob We want to definitely thank Santa Bob for spreading the Christmas cheer And not only spreading the Christmas cheer, but also what he does in his efforts to spread the word about organ and tissue donation He was fine and he's gonna help us continue to make life happen. I love that.
I love Santa. Well, Santa You've inspired you to sign up to be an organ tissue and I don't know if you're not already register me.org is your one stop shop That's how we make life happen best place to find us is at our website the gifted life.org or you can find us on Apple Google Spotify Your favorite podcast apps if you find us definitely give us a five-star rating. It really helps others find us Yes, and you can also find us on social media You can like our page on Facebook the gifted life podcast and follow us on Twitter and Instagram at gifted life pod any final words for 2019 Hmm do better make life happen make life happen and that's our hope for you Go out and do something you wouldn't normally do to help us make life happen. That's what it's all about We're a team and we will talk to you guys in 2020 This is a production of LOPA or the Louisiana organ procurement agency The gift to life is hosted by lory steel joey bujro and sarah blakemore our executive producer is kiersten hines producer ish along caraway Intern is Rebecca rannum and we are recorded engineered and mixed in our covington luiziana studio by choy perese