Saved by a Penis Pipe in Malaysia… and Watching My Kids Turn Out Better Than Me

My son is about to be sworn into the Army Reserves. My daughter just finished her A-levels. They’re becoming grounded, driven humans — far more steady than I ever was at their age.When I was 18–20, I was a mess. I’d already failed three apprenticeships and spent years trying to outrun myself — first to London, then Southeast Asia, then the U.S. I drank too much, smoked too much, and kept dragging my chaos with me.I was nearly arrested in Malaysia once… but got saved by a penis pipe.This episode is about body shame, running, reckoning, and unexpected parenting pride. It’s about watching your kids build solid lives while remembering how lost you were — and feeling all the feels about it.If you’ve ever thought How the hell are they doing so well when I was still a disaster? — this one’s for you.