Saying Yes to Yourself: Why “Being Nice” Is Hurting Your Relationships

At some point in motherhood, so many of us stop saying yes to ourselves. Not just to the girls’ night or the bubble bath. But to our feelings. To our opinions. To the quiet voice inside that says, “This doesn’t feel right.” We tell ourselves we’re being nice. We’re keeping the peace. We’re being the bigger person. But what if that “niceness” is slowly costing us our identity and our closest relationships? In this episode, I’m sharing a very personal story about a working relationship that unraveled after years of me silencing myself. I truly believed I was doing the right thing. I thought I was being kind. I thought I was regulating my emotions well. What I was actually doing was suppressing them. And suppressed emotions don’t disappear. They build into resentment. They leak out sideways. They slowly erode trust, connection, and self-respect. If you’ve ever felt resentful but didn’t know why… if you’ve stayed quiet to avoid conflict… if you’ve wondered why you feel unseen or misunderstood… this episode is for you. In This Episode, We Cover: Why “being nice” can quietly damage your relationships The difference between emotional regulation and emotional suppression How silencing your feelings leads to resentment and disconnection What healthy boundaries actually look like (and what they’re not) Why honesty builds stronger relationships than fake peace How community gives you permission to stop performing and start being authentic We Also Talk About: The 50/50 responsibility in adult relationships Why kids get more leeway than adults (and how brain development plays into it) How performing for approval keeps you from real connection The courage it takes to say, “This doesn’t work for me.” You can’t regulate emotions you refuse to acknowledge. And you can’t build real relationships on silence. Saying yes to yourself isn’t selfish. It’s honest. And honest relationships—the kind where you can say, “That hurt” instead of “I’m fine”—are the ones that create real connection. Resources Mentioned: The Courage to Be Disliked Register for the Happy Mom Summit Join the No Guilt Mom Inner Circle Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices