Scrambled Egg Dick Farts

On Today’s Episode:Martin Luther King Jr. Day MadnessA deep dive into a long-lost viral clip featuring a racist white woman losing her mind on a Black mailman.She refuses to accept her own mail, drops multiple slurs, slaps the mailman, and somehow blames him for killing Martin Luther King Jr.Spoiler: the mailman loses his job, because of course he does.Tim admits his own shaky grasp of MLK assassination trivia while trying to untangle this woman’s unhinged racial “theory of everything.”Meade Skelton vs. Tim’s MomMeade Skelton emails Tim to explain that his homosexuality is caused by a “toxic Jezebel” mother.The evidence? Tim’s mom once suggested a bird instead of a dog.Tim realizes this is personal: Meade is a bird guy.Bonus: classic clip of Tim’s mom telling a story that somehow turns into her shitting herself after an enema.Scrambled Egg Dick FartsA horrifying new EFUKT discovery: a man injects raw eggs into his penis, then pisses them into a frying pan.Includes the rare and majestic eggy dick fart.Tim goes on an egg-porn spiral featuring:Eggs shoved into assholes and cracked internallySausage-and-egg shit breakfastsA “Hungry Femboy Ass Chicken Egg Salad Stuffin’” video that ruins potlucks foreverDistorted News: Farts May Save Your BrainResearchers at Johns Hopkins Medicine find that hydrogen sulfide (the gas that makes farts smell like rotten eggs) may slow Alzheimer’s symptoms in mice.Lab mice exposed to the compound showed major improvements in memory and movement.The research appears in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.Tim concludes we should all become “sniff freaks” until targeted drugs exist.Distorted View Gives a ShitA GoFundMe shout-out for listener David’s in-laws, whose home was destroyed in a fire while saving their infant granddaughter.Link provided in today’s show notes. Help if you can.VoicemailsAdvice on crushing pills for sick parentsA $3,000 wedding success story vs. an $80,000 Disney wedding disasterTim cites a $33,000 national average wedding cost and judges everyone involvedSupport the ShowJoin the Distorted View Sideshow for exclusive episodes (including tomorrow’s show).Available at distortedview.com, Spotify, Apple Podcasts.Patreon supporters get early voicemail priority.Listener sponsorships available for $25 via PayPal.A holiday episode packed with racism, religion, eggs, assholes, and the medical benefits of huffing ass gas. Happy MLK Day, Freaks.