SDH 430: The 5 Most Important Things I Learned This Year with Amanda Boleyn

Hey there, welcome back to the podcast. I don’t know about you but I am loving this month so far. Mike and I got back from Charleston the Saturday after Thanksgiving and have been soaking up the holiday vibes in Chicago, including the chilly weather ever since. It has been such a treat to wake up in the morning when it is dark out and sit by the Christmas tree to read and journal. And because it is December that means January is right around the corner. I love January, not because it is my birthday month (shout out to all the Capricorns) but because it symbolizes the start of something new. It can be so fun to set new goals and start fresh, which I’ll be diving into on the podcast next month, it is equally important to reflect as well as set new goals. Part of my ritual every year is to reflect on the 5 most important things I have learned from the previous year. They are typically themes or lessons that have been inspired by specific experiences. I know it can be tempting to want to rush into setting new goals, trust me I’ve been there. But it is important to take in the lessons learned in order to become aware of them so that you don’t repeat them.  Lesson #1: Letting Go of Needing to Plan so Far in AdvanceWhen I first started She Did It Her Way, and in the first two years of it being a business, I was so focused on planning everything for the entire year. At the beginning of this year I realized I was doing it from a place of wanting control. As I’ve grown as a business owner what I’ve found, especially this year, is that it is extremely helpful is to set goals and vision for the year but really focus from a detail standpoint on the quarter that is ahead, rather than trying to get into the details for the entire year. Know your metrics for the year and then focus on how you can achieve those for the quarter. I’m going to be diving into this next month on the podcast.The downside of trying to plan everything in detail from the start of the year is…Things shift and change. If you spend so much time planning the whole year right at the start of it, things will most likely shift and change, and all that time you spent planning, has now become and inefficient use of your time. No room for magic. If we decide that “This is how it must be,” there may be no room for magic to come through. When planning for the next year it is important to know the following:Your ONE goal for the year broken down into quarter (typically financial)The person who you need to be and operate from in order to achieve that one goalThe daily habits and behaviors that will impact that goalBy knowing your quarterly goal, you then can plan accordingly. Often times what happens when trying to plan the entire year is overwhelm sets in. Bringing the timeline closer makes it easier for you to know what you need to do and what goals to achieve. Lesson #2: Saying “No” is a Good ThingThis year I really exercised my right to use the word, “No,” or “No thank you,” rather. And if you’re new to the podcast for so much of my life I was a “Yes” person because I never wanted to miss out, let people down, I wanted to be all the things to all people and everywhere. Learning to practice saying the word, “No,” is a skill. At the end of 2019 and beginning of 2020 I found myself over leveraged and trying to balance all the commitments that I had said ‘yes’ to. I realized that it was difficult for me to focus on the things that matter because I was saying YES to everything. Every time we say YES to one thing, we’re indirectly saying NO to another thing. It is important to know ahead of time what we want to say YES to so we’re prepared to say NO to the other thing. There will always be opportunities to say YES to something but it is important to say YES to the things that matter to you. Not just in business but also in personal life. I honored my desire to not overcommit or fill my schedule with all the things. I turned down 90% of invites to participate in a digital online summits. I turned down podcast interviews. I turned down affiliate opportunities. I turned down sponsorship opportunities. This year it became more clear the difference between what is stuff and noise vs what has a direct impact on the business and moving the needle forward.Saying “No” is also about protecting your time and energy. Keep the main thing, the main thing.  Lesson #3: Tune Out to Tune InContinuing with saying, “No” it also allows you space to tune out so you can tune in. There is so much noise from podcasts, content, videos, social media, courses that we can consume. When we over consume we run the risk of being overwhelmed and that is when our brain spins our because it isn’t sure what to think and then we start operating form a place of reaction rather than an intentional action. You no longer think for yourself because all the inputs are from other people.Finding time this year to disconnect and create a quieter space was super helpful to get clear on what mattered most to me in my business and personal life, rather than thinking I needed to be doing something because someone else was doing said thing. I put limits on how much screen time I was allotting for myself (including Instagram). I condensed work days from 8 hours to 6 hours on average. This constraint helped me stay focused and made it so that I didn’t have time to consume other content.I encourage to take time off of social media and consuming because it gives you space to pause and think rather than rushing from one thing to the next. It is a great exercise to gain perspective and helps keep the main thing the main thing. Lesson #4: Do It Your WayContinuing from saying, “No” and “tuning out to tune in,” stay focused on what feels good and right for you rather than thinking you need to do something because someone else is doing it and you think you should be doing it. Doing it your way requires you to go inward and listen to your intuition and practice that muscle.What does doing it your way mean? It means that regardless of how you’re supposed to do something you tune into yourself, you stay in your lane because by doing what feels good and inspiring to you will lead to greater abundance than trying to follow a templated approach from someone else. And sometimes you need to follow someone else’s approach to learn what does doing it your way look like? But when you get swopped up in it all.It is hard to see the forrest from the trees because you’re in it.It is like trying to reach the label of a bottle when you’re inside of it. You can’t. This year I learned that I can, will and have acquired more abundance not just financially but health, relationships and more by doing it my way than someone else’s way. Always check in with yourself every step of the way and listen. If something feels off, it is probably off. Go with what lights you up. Follow that. Lesson #5: My Business Will Only Grow to the Extent I GrowThere is something called the “law of the lid” and that is that as a leader in an organization, your team can only rise up to the level in which you are at. So if on a scale of 1-10 you are operating at a 7, your team will not rise above the lid. This goes for personal growth. Deeply, truly recognizing that my business will only grow to the extent I grow.The way to achieve a half a million dollar business, or 7 figures, is to continue growing who I am. This year I learned what happens when you truly invest in yourself so that you can expand and operate from the place you need to in order to become the person you need to be to achieve your goals. I used to think that meant doing all the things and it was actually the opposite. It meant become an even better keeper of my time, focus, yes’s and continuing to take massive action. I’m excited over the next handful of podcast episodes to take you through my planning process from reflecting on the past year, identifying goals and who you need to be in order to achieve those goals. I’m so excited for you and the next year ahead. I’ll talk to you next week.  Until then, keep doing it your way! Insights:“Know your metrics for the year and then focus on how you can achieve those for the quarter.““It is important to know ahead of time what we want to say YES to so we’re prepared to say NO to the other thing.”Saying “No” is also about protecting your time and energy. Keep the main thing, the main thing.”“Finding time this year to disconnect and create a quieter space was super helpful to get clear on what mattered most to me in my business and personal life rather than thinking I needed to be doing something because someone else was doing said thing.”“Stay in your lane because by doing what feels good and inspiring to you will lead to greater abundance than trying to follow a templated approach from someone else.”“invest in yourself so that you can expand and operate from the place you need to in order to become the person you need to be to achieve your goals.”