Season 1-Episode 2 King David's Trauma

Welcome to From Hardship to Hope—the podcast for Christian women navigating the intersection of motherhood, mental health, and matters of faith.Recommended resourceJourney to Heal: Seven Essential Steps of Recovery for Childhood Survivors of Childhood Sexual AbuseShow NotesDo you long for hope amid mental, emotional, or relational struggles?0:05Join life coach,0:06author,0:06and trauma survivor Tammy Kennington on From Hardship to Hope,0:10the podcast for Christian women navigating the intersection of motherhood,0:14mental health,0:15and matters of faith.0:16If you need biblical support, encouragement, and actionable tips, this show is for you.0:22In today's episode, we'll discuss King David's trauma and what it has to do with you.0:31I grew up with a giant in my life.0:33He represents the trauma that's tracked my steps from childhood into adulthood.0:40And I'm guessing that if you've suffered abuse,0:43whether as a child or adult,0:45that you too have a giant or two of your own.0:49My giant,0:51as I said,0:51was my stepfather,0:52a six-foot-four former Marine with a tattoo of a bulldog on his upper arm.1:00and a handlebar mustache.1:02Prone to drunkenness,0:29he would crash through the door of our trailer,1:07shouting curses and swearing and asking,1:13where are those kids?1:14I never wanted to be their father anyway.1:16You see,1:17my stepfather had adopted my brother and I shortly after my parents divorced and my1:22mom remarried.1:24And it wasn't long before his true colors showed, before carousing became1:30a regular habit.0:38And beatings became part of what my brother and I witnessed night upon night as our1:40mother cowered on the floor,1:42battered and bruised.1:44But not only that, this stepfather threatened us with violence and we feared him greatly.1:52And he would sneak into my bedroom night after night and commit unholy acts2:01Well, this giant of mine and the giants in your lives will stand in front of God.2:08They will face him and there will be justice,2:11whether or not it happens here on this earth or in the world that's to come.2:18But this story always reminds me,1:31my story reminds me a bit of David and Goliath because I was just this young child2:27and teen2:28trying to stand up to a giant in whose presence I absolutely crouched in fear.2:37He twisted my stomach in knots.2:38I'm guessing you probably experienced that.2:42And I struggled between loving and hating him.2:45I wanted to love him because he was the man representing fatherhood in my life.2:50But at the same time, he did horrible things.2:53It was so confusing.And this giant, Goliath, was almost 10 feet tall, larger than life.3:05And David was just a pubescent boy going to the battlefield, intending to give his brothers food.3:12But instead, he ended up fighting this man, going against Goliath, because Goliath had mocked God.3:22He had mocked the Israelite troops.3:26David was intent upon becoming a victor,3:31he wasn't going to allow the giant in his life to have victory over those who3:36believed in the Lord.3:38And that's how I like to look at my trauma.3:42You see, for the longest time, I held God responsible for the unholy acts of an unholy man.3:49And I know just like Goliath,3:51My stepfather did not hold either men or women or children in any sort of regard,3:57and he certainly didn't have any regard for the Lord or fear of him.4:02But I refuse to give the enemy the ability to shut off any opportunity for4:11spiritual relationship with my father in heaven because of the sin committed4:16against me at the hands of that giant.4:20So we as survivors have a battlefield of our own and we can make a decision.3:41Are we going to agree with the enemy that God is incapable of moving,4:33that the enemy is greater than the one who sits in heaven?4:39We know the truth.4:41He who is in us is greater than He who is in the world.4:48This leads me to4:50a story of the 12 disciples and Jesus.4:54They too struggled with Christ's identity.4:56They struggled to understand his goodness,4:58his mercy,4:59his love,5:00his compassion,5:02even though they witnessed healing miracle upon healing miracle,4:27the lame walking,5:07the blind seeing,5:10the dead rising.5:13One day Jesus turned to his disciples and asked them, who do you say that I am?5:19Some of them responded, some say you're Elijah.5:22Some say John the Baptist.5:24And again, he said, Who do you say that I am?5:29And Simon Peter looked at him and said, you are Jesus Christ, the Lord.5:34He knew Jesus was the Messiah.5:37And that is the same person who has loved us from the beginning of our lives and5:05even before,5:45from the time of our conception.5:47And he does have good things planned for us.5:51So when we can hold to who Christ's true identity is,5:55refute the lies of the enemy,5:58then we'll start to tear down that giant in our lives.6:02The giant represented by one or more individuals.6:07who thrust all of that trauma into our lives we can conquer because you see god is6:14not a God with a little g he is a God who is all-powerful, almighty, and who is able6:23to do anything that we ask or imagine—even more than we ask or imagine.6:31I sometimes wonder if David's trauma drove him to his knees.5:44Not only did he have this battle in which he conquered the giant, but he was the least of his family.6:43He was the shepherd boy who was discarded as not being important enough to summon6:49when the priest Samuel came to anoint one of the young men as king.6:54He was overlooked.6:57He suffered as a refugee.7:00He suffered as he ran from Saul, his enemy, who wanted to kill him for years.7:06He hid in caves.7:09He was in battle upon battle.6:34He was distraught when one of his sons, Amnon, sexually assaulted his daughter, Tamar.7:21He suffered and grieved the loss of three sons,7:25an infant,7:27Amnon,7:28and the brother who killed him,7:29Absalom.7:31He rescued two wives from kidnapping.7:36David's life was littered with trauma.7:40But we can see in Scripture,7:42particularly in the Psalms,7:44that David,7:45who's known as the “man after God's heart”,7:11turned to God in every situation of his life.7:53He shared his despair, his depression, his discouragement.7:59He praised God.8:00despite it all, and is just an incredible model of hope for us.8:07Not only that, but God weaved hope throughout David's life.8:13For someone who went from shepherd to king, rags to riches, there was a lot of suffering.8:17But that suffering was also accompanied by great joy.8:21That's the odd thing about life.8:23We can have joy and suffering7:47and one doesn't negate the other.8:27But the two-bit shepherd received a holy blessing, an anointing as king.8:34God promised him an eternal home.8:36And we see David's reflection on that in Psalm 23.8:42God also comforted him with his presence.8:45He comforted him with a wise wife named Abigail.8:50God surrounded him with children.8:54So like David,8:57I don't want to miss God's mercy,8:59his love for me,9:00because I can see when I step back from the quilt of my life,9:04I can see those threads of hope woven throughout.8:25And some of them shimmer less brightly than others.9:11Some9:12are difficult to see, and I have to peer closely.9:14But if I think about it,9:16I remember the pastor who spoke encouragement into my life,9:22the basketball coach who believed that I could do good things,9:28that I could accomplish,9:29not because I was a good athlete,9:31because I really wasn't,9:32but because he cared about kids.9:36He put an English teacher in my life who knew me from the time I was a little girland who told me that I could do things with my writing.(00:09:46):She believed in me.(00:09:48):God placed people in my life to speak hope into my heart, to speak truth about who Christ is.(00:09:57):And I wonder who those people were in your life.(00:10:02):Where were those threads of hope that you experienced?(00:10:08):We know that(00:10:09):that trauma leads to a broken heart.(00:10:12):And scripture tells us that God is close to the brokenhearted, that he binds up our wounds.(00:10:20):And that's where we can find our greatest comfort.(00:10:24):When we turn to him like David did,(00:10:27):we can see so much transformation in everything from our health to our heart to(00:10:35):to our emotional security, to our eternal salvation.(00:10:42):So that's my encouragement to you today.(00:10:45):Not only that you would take your big T trauma to the Lord,(00:10:50):but those smaller traumas that now follow behind,(00:10:54):the depression,(00:10:55):the shame,(00:10:57):the self-loathing,(00:10:59):the fear,(00:11:00):the anxiety,(00:11:01):all of those things that are smaller representations(00:11:05):of the larger giant in our lives, the smaller giants that track our steps.(00:11:11):We can take those to our Father who is able to sanctify,(00:11:17):to alter and transform and radically change that which the enemy intended for evil(00:11:24):and turn it to good.(00:11:28):I'd like to let you know about one wonderful resource written by a woman named Crystal Sutherland.(00:11:35):It's called The Journey to Heal, Seven Essential Steps of Recovery.(00:11:42):And I'll link to it in our show notes.(00:11:46):And for your actionable tip today, I recommend you create a self-care kit.(00:11:54):I found some great photo boxes at Hobby Lobby.(00:11:57):They're really pretty, but you could choose a storage box, a shoe box, anything that you want.(00:12:03):And in that box, in that(00:12:05):Self-care kit,(00:12:06):you can include things such as notes from people who love you,(00:12:12):pictures of people that are meaningful,(00:12:16):events that were meaningful to you,(00:12:18):things that will encourage your heart,(00:12:19):favorite scriptures.(00:12:21):You could create a list of your favorite healing worship songs,(00:12:27):perhaps a journal for journaling when you're struggling with all the emotions that(00:12:32):come with surviving trauma.(00:12:35):Maybe some chocolate because that can boost serotonin.(00:12:39):So many different things you can include in a self-care kit.(00:12:43):I'll create a list and post it as a downloadable for you in these show notes.(00:12:49):But this week,(00:12:51):why don't you run to the store,(00:12:54):go to your Hobby Lobby or dig in your closet,(00:12:56):find a box and start collecting things that will be an encouragement to you.(00:13:02):when you're struggling with the smaller giants that are left from that trauma.(00:13:08):And today, if I could just end with a prayer for you.(00:13:13):Father, we come to you today struggling with all of the giants of our past, Lord.(00:13:21):God, we know that you can enable us to conquer the giant just as you enabled David.(00:13:27):And even though our giant may no longer be in front of us,(00:13:30):Father, we ask for spiritual healing.(00:13:33):We ask for a spiritual conquering.(00:13:35):Lord,(00:13:35):we ask for healing in all of the wounded places of our heart and soul and mind,(00:13:41):that you,(00:13:42):Lord,(00:13:42):would soothe us with the balm of Gilead,(00:13:44):that your presence would calm us,(00:13:47):and that we would turn to you.(00:13:49):We would not allow the enemy to have a final victory,(00:13:51):but we would cling to the identity of who you are,(00:13:55):a good God,(00:13:57):who sent his son,(00:13:58):Lord,(00:13:58):to sacrifice his life for ours,(00:14:01):that we might have eternal and abundant joy and peace in the kingdom to come.(00:14:06):Because we know on that day when we enter your presence once and for all,(00:14:10):that you will wipe away every tear from our eyes and these things will all fade.(00:14:16):So, Lord, we just come to you asking for your mercy today.(00:14:19):I pray your blessing for each woman listening.(00:14:24):In your name we pray.(00:14:25):Amen.(00:14:27):Thank you so much for listening to From Hardship to Hope.(00:14:31):You can find the show notes for this episode, including links at TammyKennington.substack.(00:14:38):And if this show was an encouragement to you or you believe it will encourage(00:14:42):someone else,(00:14:43):would you share it?(00:14:44):And while you're at it, why not subscribe?(00:14:47):I look forward to seeing you in two weeks.(00:14:51):Peace and grace to you.14:53 So thank you so much for listening to From Hardship to Hope.14:31You can find the show notes for this episode, including links at TammyKennington.substack.14:38And if this show was an encouragement to you or you believe it will encourage14:42someone else,14:43would you share it?14:44And while you're at it, why not subscribe?14:51Peace and grace to you.0:54If you missed the first podcast episode, Hope for Those Who Live with PTSD/CPTSD, you can find it here. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe