What Psychotherapy Taught Me About Coaching: Defences, Depth & Knowing Yourself — with Jean Burke

About The Guest:Jean Burke supports purpose-driven leaders and teams to thrive, not just keep going. With over 30 years of experience in leadership, coaching, and workplace wellbeing, she brings a psychologically informed, deeply practical approach to helping people lead with greater clarity, connection, and self-awareness.Her work is rooted in the belief that leadership is relational and that meaningful change happens when we pay attention to how we connect with ourselves and one another. Jean is an accredited psychotherapist, experienced executive coach, and Strengths Profile Master Practitioner, specialising in group dynamics, reflective practice, and healthier ways of working in high-pressure environments.Jean's unique background in both psychotherapy and executive coaching allows her to work holistically with senior leaders, particularly those in high-stakes, high-pressure environments such as healthcare and social care. Her research on courage in psychotherapy provides valuable insights that inform both her therapeutic and coaching practice.Connect with Jean:Website: www.jeanburke.netAbout The Episode:Welcome to episode 20 of the Courageous Coach podcast, where we pull back the curtain on what it really takes to be courageous with your clients, your business and your life. In this episode, host Melissa is joined by Jean Burke, a psychotherapist and executive coach who brings a unique dual perspective to the conversation.Jean and Melissa explore the fascinating intersection of coaching and therapy, delving into the importance of self-awareness and the role of courage in both practices. Drawing from her research on courage in psychotherapy, Jean emphasises that courage is entirely subjective and unique to each individual practitioner and client relationship.This rich conversation highlights the critical importance of real connection in coaching relationships, the everyday acts of courage that lead to meaningful change, and the essential self-work that coaches must do to show up authentically with their clients. From understanding our defence mechanisms to embracing the "curse of the coach," Jean and Melissa offer profound insights into what it truly means to be present and courageous in the service of others.In this episode, you’ll learn:Self-awareness begins with understanding your defences and relationship with uncertainty - As coaches, we must recognise how we deal with anxiety and the unknown, because our ability to sit with a client's vulnerability and uncertainty depends on our comfort with our own. Understanding our defence mechanisms and how we armour up when feeling vulnerable is crucial for maintaining an authentic connection with clients. Courage in coaching is entirely subjective and evolves over time - Jean's research revealed that courage looks different for every coach and grows with experience and development. What feels courageous for one coach may not for another, and what challenges you early in your career becomes comfortable over time. This subjective nature means avoiding comparison with others and honouring your own unique brand of courage. Real connection requires bringing your whole authentic self into a relationship - Courage in coaching isn't about technique or skill-building—it's about the willingness to be genuinely present and authentic with another human being. This means being willing to name what's happening in the room, share your own vulnerability when appropriate, and engage with clients as whole human beings rather than just their professional selves. The competence boundary between coaching and therapy is felt, not tick-boxed - Rather than rigid rules about when coaching becomes therapy, experienced practitioners develop a felt sense of when they're moving beyond their competence. The key is staying connected to yourself, using supervision effectively, and having courageous conversations with clients about re-contracting when needed, always prioritising the client's best interests. Every day courage matters more than heroic acts - While we often think of courage in terms of big, bold actions, the most important courage in coaching happens in small, everyday moments—naming what you're noticing, sitting with not knowing the next question, or admitting when you feel out of your depth. These ordinary acts of courage strengthen the coaching relationship and create space for real change.Go Deeper with The Courageous Coach ProgramIf these conversations are resonating, you might be ready to go deeper. The Courageous Coach program is designed for qualified coaches in the early years of building their independent practice. If you want to coach with more courage, clarity, and humanity and grow a business that truly reflects who you are, this is for you.You can find all the details here: https://www.melissahague.com/courageous-coaches Connect with MelissaCome and find Melissa on LinkedIn. Whether you have questions about the program, want to share what resonated from this episode, or just fancy a chat, she'd love to connect.Support the Podcast:Follow & Subscribe: If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next.Share with a fellow coach: Know someone who could use a little courage boost? Pass this episode on—courage is contagious, after all.Thanks again for listening. Until next time, stay curious, stay human and keep choosing courage.