Season's Grievings and Chronic Feelings - Preparing for the Holidays with Long Covid

Welcome to a special pre-holidays ep of A Friend for the Long Haul! This is just shy of 2.5 hours but full of good chats. Here’s the guest list! Caryn Zaner (0:01:01) is a clinical psychologist specializing in helping folks with identity & values alignment, anxiety, & group therapy. Find their professional Instagram account here. My obsession with Caryn started with this post on still Coviding and attachment theory. We discuss the stinky onion of grief, lost friendships, & values alignment. We get into setting boundaries - are we asking permission instead of actually setting them? Is it effective to appeal to empathy to “make your case” & or is it a waste of spoons? We dive into how difficult it is to make friends as adults. Caryn talks about the Wednesday night peer support group they facilitate & sends out a call to join a cross-generational queer group they want to start! Wanda Belisle (0:26:23) is a registered health coach, dealing with ME/CFS for several years & shares her experience to help people with ME & Long Covid pace. I’m not a client of Wanda’s, but I find her posts helpful, & it's refreshing that when she’s in a flare or crash, she shares it . In the ‘wellness’ space that is rare for fear of diminishing returns on a ‘product.’ We discuss pacing during the holidays. The focus is on parenting, but is relevant to all . Wanda explains how she’s saved spoons by asking herself how she wants to feel, talking as a family about what’s important , & how she reviews that. She offers tips on asking for help, delegating, being your own “Santa” & explaining pacing to family. As a gift, Wanda is sharing a pdf guide: Thriving this Season with ME/CFS and Long Covid for free. You can download it here.  Chimére & Tory Sweeney (0:57:54) joined me for a full-length episode, coming out soon. In this excerpt, we discuss what they have planned for the holidays - or - what they DO NOT have planned.  Kathleen Banks (1:02:35) has been working in public health for about 20 years & while we were having a casual conversation about grief (as you do) she mentioned the concentric circles of grief. We about it & it really helped me understand why I get so annoyed when other people put their grief about my illness back on me. We discuss appealing to empathy again, self-compassion (hello Kristen Neff), & touch on identifying your needs - something we’ll talk about in an episode soon. Notes & links from Kathleen: My recent commentary on research priorities for Long COVID, *note for podcast that all my opinions expressed during our interview are mine & do not represent those of any of my affiliations, organizations or co-authors. “How not to say the wrong thing,” LA Times article on Ring Theory. Mara Glatzel’s work. Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice by Leah Lakshmi Piepnza-Samarasinha.  Jillian & Natalie ( 1:30:09) are my local long hauler bffs. We discuss how this illness has affected our relationships with family & friends, being a lifeline for each other, our “words” for 2024, spending time together over the holidays, & friends who “get it.”  Lesa Schultz ( 1:52:52) was my first ever podcast guest & is one of my dearest long hauler friends. Lesa has an invitation to everyone to join a Sunday night long covid support group she facilitates, & has an update on what it’s been like moving across the country to be closer to family while still upholding Covid boundaries.  The end (2:08:48) is a gift from Dr. Laurie Nadel, who has been on the podcast. Dr. Nadel is a psychotherapist. She & Lesa have been building a YouTube channel of meditations, & we have an exclusive for your holiday szn. It is 18 minutes long. Like, subscribe, share episodes pls! If you can, leave a review to help get it in more earballs. Listen to the podcast's Long Covid Theme Songs playlist on Spotify. To support this low budget/high love pod, check out my Bonfire shop for LC apparel or my Amazon wishlist. Thank you!