Secret Service Agent: Never Label Someone A Narcissist! This Habit Makes People Hate Talking To You! episode artwork

EPISODE · Dec 1, 2025 · 1H 21M

Secret Service Agent: Never Label Someone A Narcissist! This Habit Makes People Hate Talking To You!

from The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett · host The Experience Plus

Ex-Secret Service interrogator DESMOND O’NEILL reveals the 4-step formula for difficult conversations, how to decode narcissism, the secret to communication and real connection - AND debunks the biggest myths about interrogation!Desmond O’Neill is a former special agent for the US Secret Service with over 30 years of experience in negotiation and interrogation. He has worked for the High-Value Detainee Interrogation Group (HIG) training and conducting research on interrogation, and is a co-instructor for the online platform ‘Beyond Bulletproof’, covering influence, communication, and confidence.He explains:◼️Why you should never label someone a narcissist◼️The No.1 habit silently ruining your communication◼️Why “me me me” syndrome is sabotaging your relationships◼️How gaslighting really works, and how to shut it down fast◼️Why your brain lies to you when emotions take over00:00 Intro04:48 What Are Your Experiences?06:23 Experience With Violent Interrogation08:34 How Do I Have a Difficult Conversation?09:58 How to Spot When Someone Is Gaslighting You11:19 PLAN Framework14:58 The Hardest Conversations You've Had to Navigate19:40 If They Do This, They're Lying21:52 Be a Better Listener24:08 Controlling Comes From Listening, Not Talking24:33 Asking Questions28:38 Obvious Body Language to Look Out For31:28 Finding Resolution With People33:38 What if They Start Insulting You35:31 How to Keep Your Emotions in Check37:07 How to Stay in Control40:11 Me Me Me Syndrome43:06 Ads44:08 How to Get Someone to Open Up46:30 The Difference Between Manipulation and Influence48:49 Influencing People51:27 How to Build Trust55:03 How Do You Get Trust Back?55:27 How to Be a Great Leader56:36 Making Decisions1:01:02 Own Your Decisions1:05:29 Ads1:07:39 Building Rapport1:11:47 Main Takeaways1:13:33 Don't Tell People You Understand1:17:14 What Decision Do You Most Regret?You can learn more about ‘Beyond Bulletproof’, here: https://bit.ly/43SKyMW The Diary Of A CEO:◼️Join DOAC circle here - https://doaccircle.com/ ◼️Buy The Diary Of A CEO book here - https://smarturl.it/DOACbook ◼️The 1% Diary is back - limited time only: https://bit.ly/3YFbJbt ◼️The Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards (Second Edition): https://g2ul0.app.link/f31dsUttKKb ◼️Get email updates - https://bit.ly/diary-of-a-ceo-yt ◼️Follow Steven - https://g2ul0.app.link/gnGqL4IsKKb Sponsors:Adobe - https://Adobe.Ly/OneBetter  Rubrik: To learn more, head to https://rubrik.com Function Health: https://Functionhealth.com/DOAC to sign up for $365 a year. One dollar a day for your health. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theexperienceplus.substack.com

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Secret Service Agent: Never Label Someone A Narcissist! This Habit Makes People Hate Talking To You!

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This episode was published on December 1, 2025.

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Ex-Secret Service interrogator DESMOND O’NEILL reveals the 4-step formula for difficult conversations, how to decode narcissism, the secret to communication and real connection - AND debunks the biggest myths about interrogation!Desmond O’Neill is a...

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