secular rejoice revival

haunted by wraiths of friends that I have lost to the years I recall I recall our screams & our fears but their voices are too faint to hear I wielded the blade, held the wall & fed our fire but now I am the ash smoking on this distinguished lonely pyre I called out all the rot, baring my veins while the aloof stood in dry & critiqued the rain a year ago the sky thundered without a sound now this same sky tries to silence me into the ground I am the silence that follows the screams constant repeating these hellish dreams I held up the sky until all my tendons tore is he dead is he dead oh I hope so