Seeking Discomfort and Impact

This is a hard post to write because it will reveal a part of myself that I really, really do not like: My inaction.I remember a moment of pure elation. After five months of moving to San Sebastian for good; and after coming to terms with potentially giving up my career in marketing and communications to live here, I finally got job offers—two on the same day! In a snap, my inbox full of rejection letters didn't bother me anymore.Thanks for reading Where I Roam Free! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.The icing on the cake was getting to meet my new team in Fuerteventura, one of the Canary Islands. I was on cloud nine! Then BOOM. Category five typhoon Odette struck the Philippines, leaving behind a trail of destruction—islands, homes, lives, and coconut trees lost. I shared posts and links to donation drives between pingpong matches with new colleagues.I honestly still don’t know how to manage such contrasting emotions all at once.How can I have so much fun while there’s war, poverty, earthquakes, hunger, flooding, oppression, suffering. There’s so much suffering in the world while I worry about non-consequential tonterias of life and sip on craft beer.I recall the onset of the Ukrainian conflict shaking me out of my comfort zone again. But my desire to make a difference fizzled into just one single donation.Today, the world grapples with yet another crisis. The conflict between Israel and Palestine has reached new heights. I find myself, yet again, with that push to know more and do something, anything with impact. Embrace the discomfort.An important step to effect any form of mindful change is acknowledgment. It's crucial to face the discomfort and accept the truth that I am, in many ways, too comfortable. Acknowledging my privilege and the world’s injustice, then sitting with that thought is my step one.Lucky me! #Blessed—It’s easy to get stuck in gratitude. But I don’t want to fall into that trap. While research shows that gratitude may lead to happiness, so does altruism.I want to make a conscious effort to push past myself: engage with the often discomfiting world news, delve into the complexities of global crises, and strive to grasp where I fit into this bigger picture. It's my teeny way of ensuring I don't remain confined within my safe bubble, particularly since I now reside in what appears to be an almost idyllic little circle in the Basque Country.Podcasts and resources I've turned to for information:* Pod Save the World for weekly news round-ups* Today, Explained for easy-to-understand explanations on current issues* They have a 4-part series called “Blame Capitalism” that was really interesting!How to make an impact?I don’t want to fall into the preachy know-it-all trap either!😝So the challenge remains. How can I make an impact? It's a question that haunts me, especially when crises hit. The world's problems feel insurmountable, and I'm just one individual.I'm reminded of my favoritest job ever, working for former senator Bam Aquino. It was a role that made me feel like I was part of a greater good. Having a front-row seat to roundtable discussions involving a spectrum of stakeholders, contributing to the meticulous shaping of laws that cater to their intricate needs and concerns, actively seeking and spreading uplifting tales of Filipinos validating a policy's efficacy. It's that sense of purpose that I crave.Being jobless carries a hidden blessing, one you find if you see past the pang of shame. I've embarked on a journey of personal growth by enrolling in courses to enhance my skillset. I've also established this blog and a podcast to nurture connections with individuals. However, this public post signifies my resolve to hold myself accountable for my yet-unrealized potential for making a more significant societal impact.Fingers crossed, I'll stumble upon a gig that's not just a job, but a heartfelt cause. (I say stumble, but I know I need to actively search for it!) Ojalá I find my new sense of purpose and the resolve to change that disappointing part of myself—or accept my limitations if I never get there.If you've got any leads or tips, please, send them my way. Your support is like a ray of sunshine on my now rainy days.Thanks for reading Where I Roam Free! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com