Self Abandonment in Relationships: Why you ignore your needs (even when you're self aware) with Lorina Manzanita episode artwork

EPISODE · Apr 3, 2026 · 44 MIN

Self Abandonment in Relationships: Why you ignore your needs (even when you're self aware) with Lorina Manzanita

from The Anxiety Recovery Podcast · host Valerie Rubin

You can literally feel when something’s off…and still not say anything.You know what you need.You’ve done the therapy.You can name the pattern as it’s happening…and you still go quiet.You still over-explain.You still choose them over yourself.If that’s you — this episode is going to hit.I’m sitting down with Lorina Manzanita (somatic intimacy coach) and we go into the kind of self-abandonment that’s not obvious…The kind that looks like being “understanding.”The kind that looks like giving them the benefit of the doubt.The kind where you leave yourself… but don’t even realize you did.We talk about what this actually feels like in your body,why being self-aware doesn’t automatically change it,and why for so many of us… it actually feels safer to abandon ourselves than to be fully honest.We also go into the grief that comes up when you realize how long you’ve been doing this…and how to start catching it in real time instead of after the fact.This isn’t because something is wrong with you.Your body just learned that being you wasn’t always safe.And this episode will help you start coming back to yourself.If anxiety or anxious attachment keeps showing up in your relationships, even when love is there, your body may still be living in the past. I am an anxious attachment specialist & trauma informed somatic coach who helps people heal their anxious attachment using somatic healing & nervous system regulation.I have 4 January spots open for 1:1 somatic support for people who are ready reduce their anxiety/anxious attachment patterns. Somatic work helps your nervous system release old survival patterns that were formed before you had words, patterns like fear of abandonment, constant scanning, or feeling like you have to hold everything together to stay loved.When your body feels safe, connection no longer feels like something you have to earn.Book your discovery call here to see if we're a good fit to work together: https://calendly.com/freedomwithvalerie/discovery-callConnect with Valerie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/Connect with Lorina here: www.LorinaManzanita.com

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Self Abandonment in Relationships: Why you ignore your needs (even when you're self aware) with Lorina Manzanita

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