Self-Attunement is the Key to Everything

It’s been said many times,many ways: how you do one thing; is how you do all things. How you live, is how you’ll die. As above, so below.. and on and on.This principle and energetic law I’m pointing to is one of those truths that is paradoxical and seemingly too simple for the ego to fully grasp.But it’s got the clunk and resonance of truth you can feel in your body and if you’re reading this I bet you can feel it. The truth is; it always starts with us. All of it. Can’t be present with your kids? How present are you with yourself? Feeling disconnected from your partner? How connected are you to yourself? Continuing to make choices that don’t serve your own nourishment? Have you stayed with yourself long enough to really know what it is you’re craving and needing? I am painfully learning how true this lesson is right now on my motherhood journey. Learning how much my own willingness to attune to myself dictates how attuned I am to my girls and my family.I am constantly exasperated by how basal the work of coming back to my own needs again and again is. And yet, it's this chop-wood-carry-water practice that makes the biggest transformative difference for the true well being of my whole family.But this isn’t just cliché “make sure to put your oxygen mask on first..” discussion. This is the longer game. The lifetimes-long game. The generational game.The quantum legacy game of how much are you willing to take responsibility for?Getting a massage every month isn’t self-attunement if you just rush to and from the appointment and only really relax during it.Eating organic food isn’t actually the thing for you if you spin out into a meltdown every time you don’t have any organic options or you can’t digest your food because of your nervous system dysregulation. When you’re the mother of small children, being obsessed with getting enough alone time and being consequently victimized if you don’t, is not necessarily the most nutritive thing for you or a good use of your energy. However, having spacious, family-centered time with no tasks to be completed or housework can be very generative and may be exactly what you actually need, but can you get your mind to sit down and stop listing the to-dos so that you can actually be present? This is where we start to connect the dots. Where we start to really see and feel how much our own nervous system’s state influences our ability to actually show up in the way we want to for our family. We see how much it truly matters to take care of ourselves before anything else.If you feel something in this that calls to you reach out to me. I have space for 2 more one on one clients and this is the exact work I’ll guide you into. Message me to set up a call with me. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit clarabelize.substack.com/subscribe